The Roommate Pt. 53

LIII: I Haven't Been Doing So Well

Blake and Liam

Blake

"Choke me."

Blake realized what she had said a moment too late.

Liam tensed, and she froze. All of the incredible sensations he'd aroused inside her were thrown into a swirling storm of panic as she met his wide-eyed gaze.

"Liam," she breathed, gazing up at him, trying to focus, "That just slipped out. I'm sorry, I--"

Liam brought his finger to her lips, quieting her. His eyes took on an intense cast that somehow made the tornado inside her subside.

Then he lowered his hand.

Blake's stomach fluttered, heart pounding as Liam's fingers touched her throat, then encircled her neck. There was no pressure, just the heat of his fingers of her skin, but immediately felt her mind fog over and her body flood with arousal.

She shuddered as she gazed up at Liam.

"Just tell me if I'm pressing too hard."

Fuck. I love him so much.

Blake couldn't say it, though. Not yet.

She would have to show him.

Blake reached up and put her hand over Liam's, then ground her hips into his. She pressed down, increasing the pressure.

It was strange. Blake had never done this to herself--that didn't do anything to her. It wasn't the thrill that made her want this. She didn't even really like the idea of breathing being harder. What made this special was the trust involved. The idea of being so vulnerable, yet knowing she was safe. Shivering, Blake ground her ass against Liam's hips as he matched her pressure.

"Fuck me, hard."

Liam nodded, then gripped her throat just a bit tighter.

Fuuuck.

His other hand gripped her ass hard, and Blake could do nothing more than hang on as Liam did exactly as she'd asked. That, combined with his fingers at her throat, completely overwhelmed her. She was still a ways off from cumming again, but this was far better than another orgasm. Blake felt so safe. She didn't have to worry about anything. Not like this. Not when she was with Liam.

Blake gave herself over to Liam's touch, surrendering completely.

***

Liam

Fucking Blake like this was much harder than Liam had expected.

Still, he was close now, and couldn't hold back much longer.

Not only were his legs burning from the effort of doing this while standing, but he had to be careful not to tense his fingers. He'd done it a few times without meaning to, and while Blake hadn't complained, Liam didn't want to push it.

It felt amazing. That in of itself was nothing new. Blake--being with her like this--was always amazing. Having his hand around her throat like this, though...they'd done that before, but this time she'd actually had him press down with his fingers.

Sometimes he worried about Blake holding things back from him, but if she could trust him like this... The thought filled Liam with an incredible warmth. It wasn't arousal, but it made everything feel ten times as amazing.

Liam came back to the present as Blake moaned, her walls clenching around him.

"Liam," she gasped, a strange quality to her voice, "So close. Hold me like you did before. I--"

She cut off as Liam took the hand at her hip and wrapped it around her middle, pressing her against him.

Blake shuddered and let her head fall back against his shoulder. Liam looked down to find her eyes glassy.

He kissed her forehead.

Just a little longer.

"Cum, Blake. Cum."

Blake bit her lip, squeezing her eyes shut, and Liam held her a bit tighter. He tightened his grip on her throat just a bit.

That seemed to do it.

Blake drew a ragged breath, then shook against him. Her pussy milked his cock, not taking no for an answer.

Liam did his best to get a few more thrusts in, but the feeling of Blake cumming against him like this was too much. He exploded inside Blake. His legs trembled, and he had to press a hand against the wall to keep them from falling over.

He let the hand at Blake's throat fall to her chest and held her like that. For a while, he lost himself in the feeling of just being with Blake like this, both of them in their post-orgasmic bliss. No hurriedly pulling their clothes back on, no worrying someone would catch them, just being together. Liam's mind just floated.

Eventually, Liam came back to himself. His cock was starting to soften and shrink.

"Uh, Blake," he said, voice thick.

"Mhm?"

Liam smiled. She sounded so content.

"We might get a bit messy, soon."

Blake glanced up at him, eyes still a bit hazy. Then she looked down.

Liam's girlfriend erupted into a gigglefit.

"Oh, right."

Liam raised an eyebrow, but figured Blake had just cum really hard, so she might be a bit spacey or silly.

"Think you can move toward the tissues with me?"

Blake nodded, putting a hand between her legs, then reached around with the other to grab his ass, "Ready."

Liam rolled his eyes, but grinned as they started cleaning themselves off.

***

Blake

Blake still felt a bit spacey as she pulled her leggings back on. And a bit embarrassed. She hadn't realized having Liam just lightly choke her like that would send her into subspace. Thankfully, he'd somehow known she couldn't just stop when they were done. The way he'd held her after they'd cum together had made coming back down to earth so much easier.

She still wanted to fuck him--sex with Liam usually did that--but for now, she was at least somewhat satiated.

As she bent down, lifting one leg to get her shoes back on, she wobbled a bit and had a moment of panic as she nearly fell to the floor.

Liam caught her.

Blake smiled, shivering at his touch, then straightened and pressed herself against him, burying her head in his chest.

"Thank you," she breathed.

Liam smiled down at her, eyes drawing her in, making her belly flip-flop.

"Of course."

Blake hugged him again. Tight. And he hugged her back.

She wanted to just stay like that, but knew that would be ridiculous even for them.

Taking a deep breath, Blake pulled back and gazed up at her boyfriend.

"Can we go play videogames with your friends for a bit?"

Liam cocked his head, "I thought you wanted to talk."

Blake smiled, "I do, but I feel bad stealing you from your friends, and I'm still not entirely able to think clearly after that."

Liam grinned, then nodded, "Okay."

Blake hugged him again. She couldn't get enough of touching him.

"One question though."

Blake looked up at him, cocking her head.

Liam's cheeks were red.

"That--" he began, running a hand through his hair, "What we just did--did you go easy on me? Or have me go easy on you, I guess? You're secretly like Cheryl-Carol-Cherleyne from Archer?"

It took Blake a moment to realize what he was talking about, and she grinned up at him, shaking her head.

"No. She's fully bat-shit insane. I'm only slightly insane. No choke-bot for me."

Liam grinned, "And no secret arson compulsions?"

Blake shrugged, "None that I'm telling you about."

He rolled his eyes, and she giggled, hugging him again. Then she licked her lips and looked up at him.

"I just like the control and the trust," she said, "The potential lack of oxygen doesn't appeal to me, but the...thrill of being so vulnerable like that--knowing you could hurt me, but never would--that's the part I like."

She paused, then forced out the words, meeting his sapphire gaze, "The part I need sometimes. Is that weird?"

Liam held her gaze, then smiled shrugging, "Probably. But good-weird."

Blake smiled and hugged him again.

He probably thinks I'm ridiculous.

The way he stroked her hair as he held her, though...Blake would never get tired of that.

Taking a deep breath, she made herself pull back from Liam. She grabbed the doorknob.

"Come on. Let's go hang out with your friends. Does Tasha know embarrassing stories about you, like Kiki?"

Liam rolled his eyes, but grinned, resting a hand on the curve of her waist, "Just let me know when you want to talk, okay?"

Blake nodded, smiling, then opened the door, hoping she would feel at least slightly less insecure looking at Tasha after being with Liam like that.

***

Blake

Blake scratched at her beanie as she and Liam sat down at their table at Bertucci's. He'd wanted to take her someplace nicer or at least less cliché, but she was in the mood for some tasty rolls, and this had been barely a five-minute walk.

Looking around at the relatively empty restaurant--Wednesday evenings the week before Christmas apparently weren't the busiest for this place--Blake almost took off her beanie. She could deal with the warmth and the itchiness, but she liked the way she often caught Liam looking at her hair when she had it down.

They ordered their drinks, and Blake played a little footsie with Liam while they waited for the rolls.

"So, what did you think of Tasha?" Liam asked, leaning back in his seat.

Blake thought for a moment, then scooted out of her seat and slid in next to Liam.

He smiled at her, taking her hand in his, then smirked, "That jealous, huh?"

Blake rolled her eyes, "You wish. She seems nice. Definitely a little crazy, though."

Liam laughed, "You have no idea. I'll ask her if I can tell you what Swar and Eli's first impressions of her were."

"How long did you have a crush on her for?"

Blake tried not to laugh as Liam turned bright red. He bit his lip.

"Crush as in actual feelings? Or just me thinking she's gorgeous."

Blake rolled her eyes, "The first one. It's extremely unfair how hot she is."

Liam snorted, "About a month. I realized she'd probably be more fun to hook up with than to actually date. She also didn't want to date anyone, which is something I don't think I could do. Plus..."

Blake cocked her head as he trailed off, "Plus, what?"

Liam frowned for a moment, and Blake could see his brain working.

"She needs a friend that she knows things won't get weird with," He said slowly, "She has a hard time making friends. She's really close with her roommate, and I think she's started hanging out with Kiki, which is good, but I know things between her and Sara have gotten a little weird at certain points." He grinned, "I think she also likes having someone she knows she can always fuck with."

Blake smiled, "You're sweet."

Liam blushed. Then his expression grew a bit more serious.

"Try not to make any comments about Tasha's looks or her being unfairly hot or anything. Around her, at least."

Blake cocked her head, "Okay?"

Liam smiled again, "She's never explicitly told me, but I think that's something she has issues with. She has a thick skin and a bit of a 'fuck you' attitude about it, but a lot of people don't really see past her appearance. Girls and guys."

Blake nodded, "Which is why she doesn't have a ton of friends."

"Exactly."

Blake smiled, squeezing his hand, "I think that's something I can understand."

Liam leaned in to kiss her forehead, and Blake shivered, feeling all warm inside.

Their rolls came a short time later, and Blake tore into one as soon as the waitress walked away. Once she'd completely devoured the warm, olive oil-soaked bready goodness of her first role, Blake took a deep breath and turned to Liam. He met her gaze, then set down the second half of his role, raising an eyebrow.

Just do it.

"I need to thank you," she forced out, taking his hand, "For not asking what was going on after I admitted I haven't been doing so well."

Liam gave a slight nod, and Blake felt a half-smile tug at her lips.

"I also need to apologize for being so distant."

Liam shook his head, squeezing her hand.

"You don't. You told me you needed to work things out for yourself, and both of us needed to study."

Blake raised an eyebrow, "Even you aren't that perfect."

Liam stuck out his tongue, "Asshole."

Blake mimicked him, and Liam grinned. Then he squeezed her hand again.

"Fine. Not asking what was going on was hard, but just because I wanted to find a way to help. I figured you just had a bad show or something--like when we talked in the bath that one time."

Blake smiled at him, "You helped by just being you and being there for me when I needed you. Trust me. I'll try to be better about that, though."

Liam smiled, then finished his roll. Blake wolfed down another whole one.

"So, do I get to ask? Was it something with one of your shows?"

Blake shook her head, "I haven't had a show like that since. This was worse, though. In a different way."

The concern that filled Liam's gaze made Blake's chest grow tight.

"What happened?"

Blake bit her lip.

"If you don't want to tell me yet--"

Blake cut him off, squeezing his hand, "I do. Just...don't say anything till I'm done, okay? I don't want to chicken out."

Liam nodded.

Blake took a deep breath.

"My mom passed away about a week and a half ago."

Her voice was thick. She hadn't expected that. Still. Finally saying the words out loud. Finally saying them to Liam. It took a weight off of her.

"She and I didn't have a great relationship," Blake continued, eyes down on her hands, "It made everything so weird. Part of me is sad, but the other part was almost happy, or relieved, at least, which makes me feel shitty. That's not how you're supposed to feel when one of your parent's dies."

Blake risked a glance up. The concern hadn't disappeared from Liam's gaze.

You have to tell him all of it.

"The funeral was Sunday," she forced out, throat tight as she kept her eyes on his, "I didn't go. I couldn't. She didn't deserve it."

Liam squeezed her hand, and for a moment, Blake thought she might cry.

"That's it," she said, dropping her gaze, "That's what I needed to tell you. I understand if you think I'm a shitty person for not--"

Blake cut off with a gasp as Liam pulled her into his arms. She clutched at his shirt, burying her face in his shoulder, but she did not cry. Not about this.

She's not allowed to make me feel that way.

"I don't think you're a shitty person, Blake," Liam said, squeezing her. He pulled back, then brushed his hand against her cheek, "Funerals aren't for the dead, though. They're for the living. What about your dad or your mom's family?"

Blake swallowed hard, fighting back a sob. There wasn't even a hint of accusation in Liam's voice. Just curiosity. She couldn't give him the answer he wanted, though.

I don't deserve him.

"I don't know if I'm ready to talk about that," she said, voice so quiet it surprised her, "It..it hurts. They wouldn't have been there, either, though."

Blake met Liam's gaze again. The concern hadn't disappeared, but she could see him wondering. When he spoke, Blake braced herself for the questions.

"I understand."

Blake blinked, eyes wide as she gazed at her boyfriend.

"What?"

Liam smiled at her, "You don't have to talk about it. I understand."

Blake gaped up at him, unable to form words for a moment, "You do?"

As soon as the words left her mouth, something in Liam's eyes changed. He did understand.

How can you? How can you be so fucking amazing, yet understand something like this.

Blake didn't know how, but he did.

A knot formed in her stomach then. She knew her mom had fucked her up, but...

She looked back to Liam.

What happened to you? And how the fuck did you get through it.

Blake hoped her thoughts didn't show on her face. The must hot have, because Liam smiled and leaned in to kiss her.

It was a soft kiss. Slow and sweet. It made her tummy flutter, but made her feel warm, too, melting away the tightness in her chest and her throat. She clutched at his shirt again, and didn't let go when he pulled back this time.

"Why didn't you tell me?"

Blake tried to look down, but Liam raised a hand to her cheek, keeping her from doing so.

"I'm not..." Liam started, then sighed, "I'm just curious."

"I was scared," she said eyes hot, "I didn't want you to think I was a bad person, or too messed up for you."

Liam smiled, running his thumb across her cheek, "I know you're not a bad person. As far as being too messed up--everyone's some degree of fucked up, Blake. I try not to judge that. Not anymore at least."

Liam's voice took on a strange tone for a moment when he said that. She couldn't figure out what it was. He wasn't saying that from a place of self-righteousness, like he was a saint for not judging people. More like a place of sadness.

He doesn't want to talk about it, either, though.

So she would leave it at that.

"I didn't always feel this way about my mom."

Blake didn't know why she said it. The words just came out. For some reason, it felt good.

"We were close for a while. Then in high school, things started to get difficult, and then when--at a certain point toward the end, everything just went to shit. She judged me for the way I acted, the way I dressed, the music I listened to..."

She took a deep breath as the words stopped. She couldn't say any more. That would go places...it would be too much. She hugged Liam, and he held her tight.

He let her go after a while, and nodded away from their booth.

A moment later, their waitress came over and they ordered. Blake could have eaten an entire order of rolls and been happy, but she knew she would regret that later. It would take days of running and lifting to undo that. Liam ordered a fig and prosciutto pizza, and Blake ordered a chicken salad after ensuring Liam would let her steal a slice.

Once the waitress left with their menus Blake looked back to Liam. He was blushing.

Blake cocked her head, "What?"

"I wanted to ask about earlier," he said slowly, "About the weird mood after sex, earlier."

Blake blushed, "Oh, you noticed?"

Liam raised an eyebrow, and she giggled.

"Probably not the best place to discuss it, though?"

Blake shrugged, then took his hand, "I mean, I don't mind, but if we talk later, somewhere else..."

She smirked, putting a hand on his thigh, "I might be able to offer a demonstration if you have trouble understanding anything."

Liam blushed, but nodded, "I think that sounds better."

Blake grinned and leaned against him for a moment.

He put his arm around her.

"Want to spend the night?"

Smiling, Blake snuggled even harder against him.

"Yes, please."

A/N: What do you think? Did any of you suspect that was it?