All Comments on 'The Rosewood Box'

Excruciatingly long. The second point of view was totally filler and unnecessary. This could have been told in three pages, and would have still been too long. You don't have the skillset to write at this length.

Do Barney and Wilma mean anything? I mean, they were married - just not to each other.

Skip everything after she starts narrating again on page seven. Would have been a five if you had left that shit out. 3*

u write well...but i would classfy u a Matt Moreau...so trust me ull never score a 4

Started out really well but unfortunately the story took a steep dive... he actually follows the seduction of his wife over a period of TWO YEARS without doing anything about it, really? I liked your other story (Can we handle swapping?) but I'm not sure if this one is worth the time...

This is way longer than needed. I started skipping over multiple paragraphs and did not read much of the section on Jon after I skimmed over his wife died. At that point I just jumped to the epilogue for Allison.

It is well written but because of the length 3 stars.

Too Long.

No flow. Felt like a mix of stories.

Tony angle was unnecessary & didn't contribute to the overall story.

Started well, but really, he waited 2 years and let his wife fail, for what reason, to say "told you so", to be "the better person", story then rambled on, and on, to the point where I'd lost interest

This was at least 8 pages too much....3*

Am i reading this correctly? The wife got raped by multiple persons and the husband didn't even think it was relevant or something he should follow up on? Sorry, but that's a big negative for this story and male MC as a character.

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I'm also, in most instances, opposed to the idea of showing the kids live video of a parent like that. The cheating would need to be a lot worse to justify that IMO.

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I'm not saying that he should have let Alison get away with her emotional affair and the deceit surrounding the harassment, but to cut and run as he did? Not for me. Separation, yes. Catch a flight out to California and take names, absolutely.

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The part with Jill could have been a nice, completely separate tale. However, Scott turned into a dislikable individual so it tainted that storyline.

After putting up with the burner phone, the suspicious emails and all the other bullshit for TWO YEARS this dipshit makes the statement, "It was then that I knew that there was nothing I could do to stop this train wreck." Dumbass could've stopped it the moment he cracker her burner phone. Maybe there is a corollary to the Martian Slut Ray. That would be the Saturnian Clueless Cuck Ray, which apparently turns moderately intelligent and devoted heterosexual husbands into simpering, do-nothing milquetoasts who can't/won't STOP a situation before it develops. Instead, they sit around, "monitoring" the train wreck until all the cars are derailed and the engines on fire before saying, "Okay! I have PROOF now!" Seriously, OP, what normal man acts like that?

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4/5 for writing, but the story fell apart right there. It's one thing to be clueless, but to stand by and do nothing.... no way.

Yes, after reading the whole thing, part of it through the second time, Allison would've been stopped dead in her tracks and the marriage saved if her husband had acted on what he knew, especially with incriminating emails. if nothing else, go to the law partners with it, and they would obviously clean house based on their own company policies. If the guy had been clueless, okay, but seeing this "train wreck" coming (OP's words), he failed miserably and should be stripped of his Man Card.

Barney Rubble is married to Betty. Fred Flintstone is married to Wilma. VELma Dinkley is the openly nerdy closet Domme pegging Shaggy while Scooby-Doo is sleeping. 'Thelma?' She mowed Louise's lawn before they drove off a cliff.

A good story that shows that a loving wife who fucks up, is still worthy of consideration and respect. A good layered adult story that the btb fans will hate. Nice one.

Boy that was a novel. I was shocked that an apparently well educated and intelligent woman who is in my opinion raped, who has it all documented and a video, does not go to the police. Sure, she was going to have sex with the guy but being drugged is wrong and then his continuing to have sex while she is unconscious and then two masked men come in and have sex is all so wrong and illegal. That ruined this for me. Also, she never really appeared sorry or remorseful. She really moved on quickly. I mean focus on work and get the promo, date a few guys, join some open relationship thing, all of course sexy good people (just sluts), then finds prince charming who has no issue with her cheating and slutty ways. perfect fantasy.

White knights don't get the girl.

I wondered why it was so long given the initial pace.

Thank you for writing this. I enjoyed it.

I think Fred is going to be chasing Barney with a rock and a heck of a lot angrier than if Barney had just stolen Fred's Fruity Pebbles.

Your writing is fine, but this story is way too much. The entirety of the Tony sequences should have been excised completely, and in fact Allison's entire post divorce life could have been, and it would have likely improved the story. I, too, have issues with the two year seduction without the husband trying to end it (though perhaps it's only been six months or so he knew?). I would have expected a husband who loved his wife the way you described to have been proactive in stopping "the train wreck". Allison's summer camp could also have likely been left out.... it would make her a more sympathetic figure.

All in all, you show promise as a writer.... but some of your characters are unbelievable or unlikable, and you didn't seem to see that sometimes, less is a heck of a lot more. If you really wanted to talk about Allison's post divorce sex life, that could have easily been covered in Chapter 2, and this story would have been better for it.

I can understand the husband holding out hope that his wife would come to her senses, but for two years he did nothing? Once he found the text messages and emails Scott should have confronted Allison and either gone for a separation or counseling. He also should have made her company aware of the goings on.

Instead, he sat around for 2 years and did nothing.

I'm not going to place all of the blame on Scott - Allison should have heeded her husband's advice and stayed away, she definitely shares in the guilt. But Scott should have done something - anything other than just sit around and wait for his wife to cheat.

A little long on the post divorce Allison story, but still a 4*. A little short on the inter-related family (AH! perhaps an idea forthefuture.) Thanks for putting this, and your other submissions for us to enjoy.

Transmitted from the United Star Ship Carnes.

No l just not like the story, the two main characters had no redeeming features at all. Scott was an asshole who had ample opportunity to stop what was happening and she had choices too that ended badly for her. As a result she became the slut she always wanted to be. Who would ever like or trust her after her escapades. The story was overly long and meandered about uselessly in many parts of it. I got bored because it failed to engage me.

This was an overblown 3-4 page tale about awful people.

I score this 2/5

They named the figurines, that are symbols of their sex life, after a pair that are adulterers if they get together?!?

The story just got to weird and unbelievable for me. I don't know which character was worse.

Overly long and mundane. The initial heat of the story goes out midway through the telling.

The author badly needed a rigorous editor; far too much irrelevant and uninteresting detail. The story was unnecessarily long and there were innumerable grammar and spelling mistakes. It certainly was not 'well written' by any normal standard.

The main character's failure to deal with the situation much earlier was unexplained. As the story progressed he became increasingly unlikeable but presumably that was the author's intention?

I agree 100% with the last dude. As long as it's well written I could care less if a story I BTB

I would implore you to trim tons of fat from your writing. In Loving Wives, how people met and what they ate twenty years prior has no bearing on the story. Romance is about boy meeting girl, boy losing girl, and boy getting girl back. LW is about marital strife and how it is handled in the here and now and who it affects. This was several pages too long.

Barney Rubble and Wilma Flintstone having sex together was foreshadowing of an affair. Betty and Fred would have kicked their cheating ceramic butts out. Overall a good story if a little slow in parts. Glad there was no RAAC.

A lot of shit for very little actual content.

The story thought was good but waaaaaaaay to long. You write well but need to learn to pare down all the back stories that were repetitive and not needed. Her becoming a sex slut was not needed nor the Tony/wife part. Please keep writing and thanks for the story.

"Buckeye Fan"

Read 3 of your stories today. I enjoyed your writings. This one was a bit too long winded. Allison’s slide into full blown slut was too much and had me skimming through much of it. I hope you’ll continue to write. I plan to to check out your other stories soon.

What was the point?

Way too much, way too much completely unneeded story here. I had to skip over entire pages.

A strong 5 for the front half, and a generous 3 for the back... thus a 4. The hyper-slut Allison of the back half was just too much of a stretch for the story to hang together. That said, I enjoyed your writing skills and creativity. Please keep it up.

X-rated Hallmark Channel movie. Meh.

Way too long! You lost me somewhere in the middle. ⭐⭐⭐

I rea)y did enjoy the story although it seemed to be stretched out a bit. I gave it 4 stars

As others have said, way too wordy for what it delivered. Also felt the writing style was somewhat juvenile.

I think Scott and Allison's initial stories could have been combined to shorten this but very good overall

I just don't understand why u needed all this info about Allison. She cheated got caught divorced.

Were done move on. Since this was so long I anticipated a reconciliation. You have good writing skills but this was a tough read.

I thought it was written for about seventy percent of the story. Than there was Tony and Sara and their lifestyle. it just didn't fit and it took the story down.

Nothing worst than a husband that knows his wife is being seduced and does absolutely nothing to stop it. You're either a flat out coward or wimp. And as others have mentioned waaayy too long.

Good writing, but story basically stopped at the divorce. After that the story went too long and too easy for everyone to be believable.

On strong comment--no father would have shown his sons videos of their mother fucking, regardless of it was. By doing that, Scott was damaging his sons without any benefit except to satisfy his anger.

I got lost several on who was talking. The whole thing was confusing to me.

Strong start. Really good writing.

But frankly, it petered out at the end. Probably because it was too realistic, and no bitches were nuked 😎

Enjoyed all 3 stories you dropped today. More, please!

4****

She never went to see her sons? She was raped and the firm used that to fire people and give her a promotion they were already going to give her?

The whole leaving while spouse is off cheating is not a great plot. She cheated once?

The retelli g of their sexual history was intinteresting at best and ponderous at its worst.

The dialog from the little girl was terrible.

Too many character smashed into last few chapter. Just skimmed from about 8 onward..

Decent start, ok middle bad end.

I agree with others. It was too long and drifts about with no real point. Two boys we never got to know, and two adults who just.... moved on. It felt like you wrote in his boys just so Scott would have someone to help him move his stuff. No btb, no reconcilliation attempted, no charges filed for rape which was all recorded. Except for her one apologetic email and him calling her a bitch, there was no emotion at all. In fact her short email seemed to be the only other thing he was upset by. All very civilized. Lastly, guys like Scott dont really engage readers. Why? Because wealthy guys with extra meat between their legs who can go three times an evening have no problems getting life back on track. 5 stars if your intention was to write a bland story, 2 stars if you didn't.

Seriously, way too much unnecessary content.

In my opinion your MCs were so self-contradictory it was impossible for the story have a sensible outcome. I disagree this rendering represented complex, layered characters; both often acted extraordinarily out of character and with no explanation as to reason. I refer you to other comments for details. Add to that 11 pages full of filler and meandering. Not a good effort from what appears to be a writer with some talent

liked the story but too long

This is not just badd this is not just awful... it is incredibly stupid and really boring.

The biggest problem with this awful boring story is that the seduction when I for 2 years with the husband's almost complete full knowledge of what was happening. Yet he did nothing. Didn't say a single word. As others have stated this is simply preposterous

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The other problem is that at the beginning of the effort by the boss the wife shuts him down and threatens to report him and have him fired. How then does she go from that to heavenly long term active sexual affair with her boss? This change seems to take place over 1 or 2 paragraphs in a 11 page long story

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This is just bad writing. Badly thought out barely developed badly conceived

I have to agree with many of the comments below. Way too long and like many authors seem to think the sluttier the wife becomes the more outraged the reader will be at her. Sorry, nope. That may work with the mouth breathers but the less slutty the wife is the more it seems she may have some love and or respect for her marriage. Full on slut mode removes/ruins that emotional connection between her and family. Showing some love is a better way to get the reader pissed as we can then question why she behaved as she did. Otherwise if she doesnt care (regardless of what she claims) why should we invest in their marriage? Just think about that in the future.

Started very well. Strayed too far. Lasted too long. Skipped rapidly through the last 3 pages. Got to the wind up and found I'd missed nothing vital. So why was it all there?

A rambling story about a couple that divorce and remarry others. Why does Scott watch Allison slowly be seduced by Greg and never discuss her actions beyond the very first meeting with him, for two years? This after a long build up of how in love they are with each other. Do neither of them ever discuss people they work with and how they feel about them? Why, if she so desperately loves Scott, does she flirt with Greg and not see what a sleaze bag he is? Why does she accept that Greg drugs her and rapes her repeatedly with two other co workers and not file criminal charges? Why was she so willing to reject her husband and leave a day early for the business trip with Greg and it’s subsequent fuckfest? How can Greg never once speak to her again after he leaves? Did he care that little about her? Why after eleven pages did you not answer these obvious questions?

I gave up. First, you said how you met your wife wasn't important to the story, then you took the next 3 or 4 pages to tell us how you met your wife. I. like the other guy, skipped entire pages. When I got to the wife's part and she started out by saying, "I was born..." that was it for me.

Congratulations, you've written one of the all time vile creatures on LW, Scott. I kept on thinking, as he spent two years spying on his wife, that he must be waiting for her to cheat so he can divorce her and claim the moral high ground. And that's what he did!

Then, he leaves her the weekend after she is raped. Plus he shows their sons the video. What a douche bag.

I'm not saying he had to stay married if she cheated, but damn, she held out for two years, gets drunk and screws up, then he pulls the disappearing act.

A rare 1 star from me.

I thought it was good, but a little long. You could have cut a couple of pages right out of the middle. Didn't really need the sex club scene at all, or getting with Tony's wife, along with the summer camp back story. Otherwise it was pretty good. Gave it a 4 mainly due to what I listed above.

Made it through about half of this story but I found it too long and boring to keep going. Also there were several inconsistancies like the names of the ceramic figures and at one point it appeared that Scott had written Allison a letter before she was served the divorce papers but the letter sounded more of Allison's explanation of her background.

This is an ambitious story that deserves better than the four stars I gave it. Personally I think you tried to cram too much into one telling. If you, the author, had broken it up into three separate chapters, your characters would have been able to breathe better and expand into the additional space. Good job though.

you tell a good story richardbedfordwhite. I enjoyed this. you had me hooked...but.... The Rosewood Box feels un-finished, and left me feeling blah about where it ended. It ended like you just said fuck it, I'm tired of writing

Too much of Alison's descending into her deviant behavior. Just over the top, soundef like she glossed over that period when talking to Jon.

If Tony and his wife so strongly believed in marriage, why did each of them get divorces ending their first marriages?

Its where you end up that counts. The whore apparently rehabilitated herself. Her ex husband found a good woman to replace the slut and ended up with a wholesome happy virtuous family. The moral of the story appears to be that some women need to completely fuck up their lives before they become savvy and intelligent enough to be loyal loving wives. Almost like some women can only be successful in their second marriages, the first marriage being an experiment that ends up being a necessary but tragic lesson. Guess its possible, but its pretty insulting to women. This whore knew exactly what she was doing, and did it anyway for only two reasons: she wanted it, and she thought she could get away with it. If the second husband is comfortable with that pedigree in a wife good luck to him and her.

Overall an interesting if tedious and meandering read. A good 40% of the story was superfluous and irrelevant to the plot. Good luck with future work.

And thanks for the effort.

As many others have said far too long, we already know she is a lying cheating whore, her detailed description of her 7th grade crush contributes nothing

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There are three types of readers in LW, the BTB crowd, the RAAC crowd, and those who will jerk it to any good sex scene.

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This was neither of those three

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Sure he left the slut, but didnt burn her - the BTBs might have accepted that if you didnt rehabilitate her, the fact that you went one step further and made her delusional to the point she retconned her husbands memory to pretend he would have been a cuck if only she had been honest about wanting to be a whore pretty much lost you them

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And the RAACuck crowd is never happy when a spouse jettisons a cheat, especially a female cheat

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In the future Is split a story like this into three parts

Let the BTBs enjoy the dump

And relegate their respective futures to their own chapters

nickbgb asked "Am i reading this correctly? The wife got raped by multiple persons and the husband didn't even think it was relevant or something he should follow up on?"

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So should a bank robber get in a car accident fleeing the robbery are you saying he shouldnt go to jail for the crime?

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Sure she got raped, after commiting the crime of infidelity

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Her husband didnt divorce her because she got raped but because she planned to cheat on him, and did then did cheat on him, and then got raped

Rambling tale of a total skank, along with fake tech, useless descriptions of furniture layouts by a functionally illiterate writer. In the end it goes nowhere other than to pretend like the skank can live happily ever after. All the parts actually worth reading would occupy less than one page.

Way too many misspelled words, wrong words, and grammar issues.

You need a different editor.

The story was okay, but could have been condensed a bit.

After such a long story you finished without the discussion that should have taken place much earlier in your tale.

I felt this was stretched out unnecessarily and the core of the story forgotten about. Before going into all the extraneous relationships you should have had them meet. Who in this situation would just run away without a face to face even if just to vent? Also in a real relationship the hidden phone and the texts would have been exposed and she would have been asked what was going on. Perhaps if he had done that she would have come to her senses. Too long but still 4 stars for very good writing.

A beautifully told story that has turned out a little too long for me! The development of both ex-husband and ex-wife lives is particularly interesting. The ex-husband recognized early on that his ex-wife's path would only lead to "doom". Why didn't he intervene? Can you stop someone forever? That remains the question! It would make me feel that I could no longer fully trust my partner. Would I want to live with this feeling for all the future? No!!! He told her that this colleague is a seducer and otherwise a hollow guy. She replied that she had everything under control. What else do you want to do? For my personal "good-bad" feeling you let the cheater get away too well! But it's your imagination!

It’s no wonder she cheated. Wilma was married to Fred, not Barney. Barney was married to Betty.

Really well written piece. The "complete story" from multiple characters tended to dilute the passion I felt for the story. The little romp with Tony and his wife seemed more to "spice up" the story for readers rather than a necessary plot line. 4*

as long as it was atlest it was a RAAC of WACC.........5*

I gave it a 3, didn't care for the last few pages, otherwise a strong 4.

you lost me when you went on swingers.

I'm starting to see a trend amongst these loving wives authors. That being male lead characters that run away after the wife cheats. If he really loved her, why not intervene before she departed for the meeting? It seems as if he didn't want her any more, so just get the evidence for a divorce that he wasn't man enough to stay around for.

I enjoyed the story, but thought it could have been edited down or broken into multiple stories.

It was just a bit long for one sitting.

Tedious, tedious, tedious.

Im sure I read a story like this but in the original the ex-wife didnt move on. I prefered that other version it had more edge to it, this one turned into happy families with a whore, gross. I love the trend of male leads leaving after divorcing scum, theres nothing like starting over in a new place to make it easier to move on.

The inane dialogue, juvenile in tone, just ruined this for me. People dont talk like that.

OMG, what a mixed bag. A woman who lied to her husband about her previous lifestyle, remained faithful for 20 years, then blew everything by having an unsatisfactory affair, which her husband knew was going to happen.

Funny that she didn’t tell her new love about the fact that she had been a swinging slut for the last six months. He actually believes that she won’t cheat again. Just goes to prove that men are the weaker sex.

Fuck me! Boring long winded garbage, I skimmed it to the end of page 5 and gave up.

1 star for a story that should have been 3 pages.

Why didn’t he confront his wife before she went to the meeting? He had the emails and knew what her plans were. It was a bit long and I did skim some things but eventually went back and read it all at different times. A weak 4.

Would have been better if you had broken it into three chapters. First ends with Scott and sons going to North Carolina. Second covers North Carolina through Scott's remarriage. Third is Allison's rehabilitation. They are really three distinct stories.

HappyId

I enjoyed this story and gave it 5 stars. Take some more time editing and you'll be fine in your future endeavors.

This seemed like two different stories, the main character being Scott. The ex-wife’s storyline didn’t add much. I liked Scott’s story.

This story held my attention and followed an interesting if somewhat overused plotline. I did however find the author's use of language somewhat stilted, or maybe more properly, formal, which restricted the story's flow. I also think that things went a little off the rails on page 8 with the introduction of the "open-marriage" couple for no reason that really advanced the story. I find this work slightly better than a four-star, but certainly not five. I do admire and compliment the author on all the hard work that went into writing

I guess this is supposed to be a happy story? Its actually pretty sad. It is good that they both found compensating second relationships, but you made the wife a bit deceitful and whorish. I'm sure there is a line in this story where she wonders if she might have enjoyed being a prostitute. Which killed your credibility as knowing and understanding women and the slavery of prostitution. Prostitution is what a woman does when she needs the money and has nothing else more valuable to offer the market place, and has no dignity or self respect. And what does that say about her? You sort of glossed over Allison's slut instincts when you never had her mention to Jon how much she enjoys multiple partners and women. If that sort of promiscuous recreational sex is so valid why not inform Jon and see if he wants that in their relationship? We know why. Allison is not only a closet slut, she's a deceitful closet slut. Once she gets bored and tired of Jon she will accidentally meet Tony somewhere and the fuck fest will begin. Too bad you didn't continue the story to that inevitable failure of her promises, again.

An OK read, but a tired attempt to legitimize swinging, open marriage, and recreational fucking. Understandable for short sighted low intelligence youth, not very rewarding or intelligent for an adult. Hope your mileage varies.

Thanks for the effort.

The last 5 pages were a waste of time.

Agree with 6227.

The main story is a cliche and ends in 3 pages, the rest is all rebound drivel.

it was good in the beginning but had no balance because of how Allison was able to just move on.

Hate stories narrated by individuals,they lose any impact.

Like others I think the story started off well but then dropped off and became a struggle to read. There's a real lack of emotion in the story and the fact that Allison is drugged, raped and abused is just glossed over. She may have put herself in that risky position but the author doesn't address this in the story. Allison's character lacks any emotional response to what happened to her. The author doesn't address this rape and abuse at all and has missed out on dealing with this properly.

Very good story, but IMO there was too much about how Allison rebuilt her life; and not enough about Scott and his life with Jill.

Agree with anonymous, everything that is a plot here is done in first three pages and the rest is all about rebound hogwash that author goes on driveling for 7 obtuse pages.

My problem with the plot on first three pages (the rest of the story is garbage) is the following:

Husband is fully aware of his wife falling for unscrupulous character "Greg" and planning to have a sexual encounter with the guy and yet he (the hubby) does nothing whatsoever other than hiring PI (big bucks) and waiting for the cheating to unravel his marriage. This is utter bullshit.

Every single male with any sense of self-respect would confront his wife and subjected her to make a choice before she destroys her marriage. Some may even go further in seeking confrontation with "Greg" and I do not see a downside to this since the alternative is obviously going to destroy marriage to the point that the rest of their lives will change dramatically for the worse.

So why is that the author cannot see that and instead he pushes unrealistic alternative as if hubby wants to watch the train wreck that his wife is embarked on?

Well, that is a somewhat of a cliché in LW, the petrification of a red-blooded male into crying whining little man even when the stories are BTB. This has been overused so many times that it becomes a boring homework exercise of many untalented writers like richardbedfordwhite.

Different.

Wilma cheating with Barney was a bad omen. Betty would have been heartbroken and Fred would have killed his little buddie Barney.

1 star - the plot sucks - starting with the husband letting his wife have an affair, without doing anything to intervene or outright stop it - he had multiple opportunities. I guess the husband was just a cuck/wimp. From that point on, it was not very interesting past the third page and I skipped all the lesbian crap right to the comments. I should have looked at the comments first and I'll be more careful from now on.

Waaaayyyy too long!!! Where is the point?

What really irks Me is the whining and complaining from people who DON'T EVEN WRITE stories. Especially the keyboard warriors who post as anonymous, real brave. Try it yourself, I dare you. I tried writing a story (not on this site), I sweat blood over it, quite frankly it sucked and the scoring proved it. I at least tried. I hope they heck where you work there is someone standing over your shoulder tell you how much you suck at what you do. If you don't like the story, fine, score it as so. If you are going to critique at least make it constructive. Appreciate the fact they took the time to write. Not everyone is a Saddletramp, JPB, StangStar, Kathie Burke, LT56, Vandemonium, Soul71 and others. There are some GREAT writers here. Encourage people, don't be tearing people down when you haven't proven your writing chops.

Nixrox, dark2donut2 I will be waiting for you to post stories...please I want to see if you can measure up to our critiques.

Yes I need a editor even for My comments. Rant off :)

D