The Same Old Story - End 02

I walked away without a word. She said a quiet, very sad, "good night" as I left the room.

I didn't get a decent night's sleep. Whenever I was close to consciousness, my mind ran through everything. I could feel my anger and then I felt almost nothing. I was no closer to resolving this conundrum.

I was awaken by the smell of bacon cooking. I walked through to the kitchen. Kat was at the cooker wearing an apron. She had nothing else on. She had never done anything like that before.

She turned to me, "I thought about bringing you a coffee but didn't want to intrude. Do you want breakfast? I forgot to bring clothes out of the bedroom for today."

I replied quietly, "Breakfast would be good."

Kat finished the cooking and placed my plate in front of me. She took off the apron and sat opposite me like normal, except she never sat naked.

We ate in silence. When we had cleared up, Kat spoke quietly.

"Andy, I said to you I would be a more sensual wife for you. You deserve that and more. I was wondering if you would come lingerie shopping with me. You could help me chose more sensual lingerie, both for work and play. Lingerie which I should have been wearing for you, for us.

"I'll keep my pussy waxed for as long as you wish. All I ask is that you join me when I have it done so I can hold your hand."

I replied sadly, "Kat, if you had asked me before last night, I would have jumped at that chance. Now, I'd just be thinking who's that for? I can't get the thought of you fucking around behind my back out of my mind."

Kat gasped, "Andy, I never fucked anyone. I accept that emotionally I did, until you opened my conscience enough to make me listen to what it was saying. If it would help, I'd take a lie detector test though normally you see through my lies. I've only lied to you over little things like birthday surprises and presents.

"Your anger and you have every right to be angry at me, is blinding you to the truth. When it settles, I hope you realise that I am telling you the truth. I'm just as angry at myself if not more so. I'm 100% responsible for the pain we are both in.

"I'm going to shower, you are welcome to join me if you wish. If you want me to masturbate for you again, just ask. I know you've always wanted me to do that. Your breath on my pussy turned me on so much, I had to. I hope, one day soon, you will want to taste it again. I certainly look forward to your tongue on my bare pussy. Be aware you may drown."

Kat went off to shower. I thought about what she said. She was right, I could often tell when she was lying. It was always around birthdays and christmas. She'd never lied about anything important. She was in the main bathroom so I went to the ensuite.

After I'd shaved and showered, I went back into the living room. Kat had put the bed away so we had a settee again. I went into the kitchen and found her there, still nude.

She smiled at my face which was bewildered to say the least. "Andy, I told you I'd try everything to keep us together. If we're not going out, I don't see the need to dress. I'll get on with tidying the flat."

Normally, Kat's very organised, methodical but today she wasn't. She always seemed to be close to where I was. I was treated to the sight of her beautiful breasts leaning towards me as she lifted papers to dust the table. She must have been aware that when she was kneeling on the floor, wiping a duster along the skirting board, her pussy and rosebud were openly on display. I could have sworn her pussy blew me several kisses.

I sat at the computer looking through the fans forum for my team which is in a fight to avoid relegation. There were in as much danger as my marriage. Kat came across and cleaned the monitor and asked for the keyboard. Her breasts were against my arm as she cleaned it and the mouse. As she turned, I almost took her nipple into my mouth. My cock was convinced she was telling the truth and wanted to fuck her to death. From experience I knew he would die first.

After she had finished, she made us a cup of tea. She sat back on the settee with her iPad, her legs in some yoga pose which showed her lovely pussy lips. She seemed oblivious to her exposure. This wasn't the Kat I knew.

The afternoon went quietly, each of us confronting our thoughts. Had it not been for the previous day's bombshell, I would have been happy, very happy. I would have loved Kat being nude in the flat and she would have been well fucked by now. In fact, it would probably be me that needed a rest.

It was late afternoon, when my team lost yet another stupid goal, Kat asked, "Do you want to go out for a meal, a takeaway or something here?"

I answered, "probably something here." As I said it my mind went, "for fuck's sake, you've always wanted her to answer the takeaway delivery nude. She'd do it today!"

We ate in almost total silence. The evening as well. We watched some television and Kat had a couple of glasses of wine and I a couple of bottles of beer. An almost normal Saturday evening, except she was naked and we weren't talking.

Sunday was almost a repetition. As she had done the cleaning, she decided to go for a walk. She asked me to come with her so I would see she wasn't meeting anyone. As she only put her coat on, I went with her. Her naked under her coat was a longstanding fantasy for me. My cock was all for fucking her in the park but my brain still wasn't for anything like that. She kept up a chat about things we came across. It showed how nervous she was. Her coat only came to mid-thigh.

Again, she went to the sofa bed and slept nude.

We headed off to our respective work. My office was across the street from a solicitor's office. A friend from school was a junior solicitor there. As I still hadn't a clue what I was going to do, I called him and asked to speak. I went over during my lunch break.

Phil gave me my options and suggested counselling. He said if Kat tried to delay any divorce, she would ask for that. In his opinion, it would be the best option. It would help resolve my impasse one way or another. Kat had made her intentions clear.

If I couldn't live with what she had done, forgive and move on, it would become clear. If my love for her and hers for me could overcome my devastation, her guilt, the therapist could help rebuild a new, better relationship. The present situation couldn't go on for long as neither of us were happy. The longer it went without a resolution, the more likely the marriage would fail.

I had a lot to think about when I headed back to my office.

Kat was late home. She looked very troubled. "Can we talk when we have eaten," she asked quietly. I nodded.

Kat smiled sadly and headed off to change out of her working clothes as she normally did. She didn't come back naked. She was wearing a pink satin quarter cup bra which displayed her breasts, long nipples and areolas well. She had a matching suspender belt with nude, seamed stockings, set off by three-inch heels. Her legs and bum looked amazing in them. The satin bikini pantie looked like it had been sprayed on her pussy.

She set about making the evening meal. I can't remember ever watching her so closely. Every movement seemed designed to show her off to perfection. As she leaned over to put the food into the oven, I saw her breath-taking bum, being lightly caressed by the pantie. It looked wet in the crotch. She must have known I could see the outline of her pussy lips.

As we ate, I was mesmerised by her nipples. I couldn't keep my eyes on her face. She was smiling at my lost focus.

As we had tidied up, we almost touched. My cock was trying to attract her attention. We sat across from each other at the table.

She was nervous, "Andy, I love you and wish I'd never built that stupid fucking fantasy. I cannot undo the hurt I have caused. I'm so sorry.

"I was late home for two reasons. You may remember Wendy from my office. Wendy and I have always been supportive of each other. She'd seen me in the morning and knew I wasn't myself.

"To be clear, she's not one of the night out girls. She'd warned me about them. Wendy saw you coming out of Phil's office. From your look, she thought something was very wrong.

"She came to me and when she told me, I started crying. I knew you had made your decision. I'd hoped when you calmed down, we would be able to speak, work through this and remain together.

"She took me to a secluded room we use for interviews and she had me tell her everything which had happened.

"She asked why I had gone out with those girls? I didn't know other than they had more sexual confidence than I had. The more I told her how our lives were, Wendy felt she understood some of what I had been thinking. She believed one reason was that because I was so comfortable with you, I had forgotten to court you, to surprise you. I didn't instigate sex because I knew you would. I didn't experiment because I had failed in the past. Remember my botched effort at a striptease. I was so embarrassed I never tried again. I did think about it but I couldn't face failing again. Blowjobs were the same. I couldn't get your cock in my mouth, despite wanting to.

"The big cock was just a detour as I knew I was failing you. Instead of speaking with you, finding a way to work through our problems, I fantasied it would be a shortcut to ignite our love life. At least that's what I told myself though my conscience told me that I should discuss that with you and only you. I ignored my conscience when it told me what you would do. I was so wrapped up in this stupid fucking fantasy I didn't want to see the truth.

"Wendy knew how to help me as she had been in such a comfortable relationship. She and her husband had been like us. At least until they'd had a bloody big argument where all their pent-up feelings had come out. They'd hidden so much from each other as they didn't want to be seen as a slut, a pervert or worse by the other. They found a therapist who specialised in couples. She has helped them build a better relationship, not just their sex life. Their sex life isn't dull but it only involves them.

"I spoke with the therapist's secretary and she told me what was needed. You would have to be onboard. She only deals with couples. It would give us a chance to rebuild better. Show us how to communicate better. My biggest failing is listening properly, to you, to my conscience."

She laughed, "I may find out that's the least of my problems. I would like you to consider this option."

"I do mean it when I say I want to be the wife you deserve. I'll never allow myself to have any thoughts about cheating. I won't forget what this has done to us. The pain I see in you and the pain I feel will ensure I never contemplate anything so fucking stupid, self-centred and selfish ever again.

"The other reason was that I needed to see a solicitor to see my options as you had done. I presume Phil gave you the main ones.

"If you have decided to divorce me, adultery would be the quickest way to get rid of me. I have committed emotional adultery only. I haven't fucked anyone other than you since we met and only one before.

"If this option is what you wish, I'll find a single guy, arrange where to meet him and let you know so you can have the photos Phil may require. I'll even let you take photos of us entering a hotel room. He'll be aware from the start this is a set up. We won't be having sex. According to my solicitor, we don't need his name, just some evidence and my admission.

"Irretrievable breakdown takes a year of being separated.

"As I'm at fault, I'll do which ever option you wish. I won't ask for alimony or any form of support."

I could see the tears just being held in check.

I started quietly, "Kat, I haven't made any decision. I saw Phil to find out my options to see if that would help clarify anything. He recommended counselling as a first step. I've swayed between divorce and counselling so often this afternoon, it's a wonder I don't have seasickness!

"I want to believe we have a future but I can't get the image of you fucking behind my back out of my mind."

Kat stated calmly, concern in her voice, "Andy, I lost who I was for a while. What you truly meant to me. I constructed a stupid fantasy to shortcut us to a better sex life, a better marriage. I know now we both need to work to build a relationship which works for us.

"I know it is how I reacted to you over the last few months which has caused you to think I was fucking around. I haven't fucked anyone behind your back. I'll take a lie detector test if you wish.

"My word is meaningless just now but hopefully, I can regain your trust over time. Friday night was going to be the first and last time. Your words, your pain and my conscience all conspired to open my mind. When I told the girls about our sex life, it showed me how wrong I was in my fantasy. I only need you.

"Over the last few days, one thought has been foremost in my mind. Despite all the pain, I'm glad you caught me when you did. It stopped me doing something I would regret for the rest of my life. You were my soulmate. I want to have my soulmate back. To enjoy a better me, a more committed me.

"I'll spend the rest of our lives making it up to you, if you give me the chance. I do love you.

"Whatever your decision, I think counselling would help us. I know I've been guilty in stopping you when you asked about my fantasies. They just involve you, no one else, but I thought if I told you, you'd think I was a slut. I need to know yours and not treat them like they are an imposition, a perversion. My lack of sexual confidence led me to this stupidity.

"If I can reach what Wendy has reached, I'll never be so stupid again. You'd have such a happy smile on your face all the time.

"Wendy said the counsellor helped them communicate in ways they hadn't thought possible. It made their marriage better and their sex life is all they would wish."

I nodded, "I'll think seriously about it."

One part of me was thinking about something else entirely. In fact, he was trying to unzip my trousers. Kat did notice but thankfully, she stayed just far enough away to be enticing but not so close as to force the issue.

Okay, I admit, had there been no Friday night, had Kat walked around naked or in stunning lingerie, I would have been delighted, horny and fucked her stupid. I wanted to but I couldn't. Meatloaf almost had it right, two out of three ain't bad, but when the third is fucking Kat, you need all three.

I needed to get this clear in my mind. I understood I needed help.

I spoke softly, "Kat, make that appointment with the counsellor."

She turned to me and was about to hug me when she stopped. My face must have said no. My penis was not happy.

"I'll call tomorrow. Thank you."

The evening continued. Kat sat in her yoga pose on the settee. If anything, the pantie clad pussy was more erotic than a naked one. The dampness was spreading.

Later, she put the settee into the bed. As I was about to head to the bedroom she said quietly, "Andy, I don't know when I'll need waxed again. If you wish, you can check each night and let me know what you think. I have some instructions so you can read them to make sure it is kept free from hair for you."

I looked at her. My penis was all for a close inspection, a very close inspection.

Kat saw that, "If you need some relief from your blue balls, I'm happy to oblige. Whatever you wish, fuck, facial, tits, mutual masturbation. Whatever!" She brushed her nipples as she spoke causing them to elongate. I loved that bra! My mouth wanted to change places with it.

I said, "I'll read the instructions first. Did they give any idea of how long it lasted?"

Kat smiled, "Perhaps three to four weeks before it's long enough to repeat. It depends on the individual. It'll take two or three repeats to understand the cycle. Over time the period will increase apparently."

I left it like that. While I thought a facial would be good, my view of them was that they said you didn't care about the woman. I may have been mad at her but I love Kat. I couldn't do that to her. Even wanking over her tits, something we had done a few times when she had her period, felt in some way like debasing her.

I fell asleep still troubled. At work, Kat called and gave me two options for the appointment. I told her the one which worked best with my schedule.

The first few sessions were very difficult to participate in. The counsellor, Sharon, deconstructed both Kat and me. Don't get me wrong, she's friendly, warm, engaging but she is focussed on helping people so fires arrows straight to the roots of the problems.

I failed on the first session. Sharon had Kat explain how she felt about our relationship, what was good, just okay, bad and bloody awful. Kat was looking at me all the time, like a deer in headlights. Kat was struggling to get it out, "Great is how Andy did everything he could to make me see how much he loved me. Good would be our social life. Okay, was the times we spent just being together but far too often ignoring the other. Bad was me, I was so fearful of losing him as I sucked at sex. Bloody awful was my stupid fantasy that fucking a large cock would miraculously ignite a sex life I wanted to give Andy."

Sharon looked at me, "Your view of your marriage?"

I answered, "I'm no longer sure of anything. I loved Kat so much, the anger I have matches if not exceeds that. Before, I thought Kat loved me as much as I loved her so I tried to show her how much I loved her. Our social life was good because of Kat. I'm a lot more shy, nervous around people I don't know. Nothing was really bad, even our limited sex life, until I caught her preparing herself to fuck another man. Bloody awful doesn't cover that."

Sharon asked Kat, "Why do you think your sex life was poor? Has Andy complained?"

Kat shook her head, "Andy never complained as such, hinted a few times. I had a sheltered upbringing. I had one sexual experience before I met Andy. It was as awful as my mother told me it might be. It wasn't quite "do my duty" but she said, sex is something you enjoy more as you experience it especially with the right person. She was right. The boy wanted me to suck his penis. It wasn't particularly clean, I gagged but he shoved it in anyway. He wasn't complementary about my skill. He didn't take time to prepare me so it was painful. He managed a second erection and did the same again. It was just as bad.

"It left me fearful of intimacy. It was two years before Andy and I started dating. No one had even had a meeting with my bare breasts since that experience.

"Andy's a fantastic lover. I recall so fondly the first time I felt him caress my naked breasts. I never felt him remove my blouse or my bra but he did. His touch on my breasts was amazing. His whole focus was on my enjoyment. I learned I could have multiple orgasms whether through oral or penetrative sex.

"Whenever I tried to reciprocate, I failed. He's much larger than my other experience but he's so gentle, most of the time. I couldn't manage him in my mouth. I tried a striptease but even that was a disaster. The more I failed, the less I was prepared to do, to challenge myself.

"Ever since my mistake, I've gone over our life. I realise that I have changed so much. I wear less revealing clothes even though mine didn't reveal much to begin with. I changed to functional granny style underwear not the lightly sensual ones I had worn when I met him.

"Andy would suggest something and I would knock him back. Some names I called him when he did, revolted me as they were so nasty.

"I ended up in the girls circle as their apparent sexual freedom seemed so enticing. If only I could be like them, Andy would be able to have what he wanted. It was a stupid fantasy which has destroyed us, even if it's not official yet."