by MrRusty2000
Post is cut off half way through the story... " To clarify, I.... " Where are the editors and moderators on this board, or do they let people post any old sh!t?
This story could be very good. However, the present draft is just that, a draft, and a rough one to boot. It needs editing and heavy proofing. Either re-work it yourself or pay someone a small fee to look it over for you, because it is deserving of the extra attention.