The Seduction Exposure

Where as many of my homosexual encounters of the past were with anonymous partners and unfulfilling, this romp in bed with Ronnie was about as wonderful of a sexual connection I had ever had with anyone. All the build up from that first time exposing myself to him followed by posing nude for him to paint me, exploded into a storm of sexual energy as we made love. My mouth soon found his penis again as I resumed sucking his cock. It was a famished, obsessive cock sucking.

Finally, being naked and hard with him in his bed melted away all my unrequited longing from that day long ago when I first let him see me naked as I subconsciously tried to seduce him. My mouth was glued to his cock, sucking off my friend as his gentle moans rippled in the quiet afternoon sunlit bedroom. Eventually we ended up in a torrid sixty-nine as he first tasted my cock and I too enjoyed the sensation of his mouth on my penis. All we could focus on was the sensation and slurping sucking sound of simultaneously sucking each other's cock. This carried on for the longest time as we faithfully sucked each other's cocks, licked each other's balls in a steamy cloud of male-on-male pleasure.

Coming up for breath, I climbed up into Ronnie's arms forcing my mouth on his for a hungry passionate kiss, then tonguing his ear and rubbing face on face in wild, unabated horny sex play. As I calmed down a bit lying next to him with my head on his shoulder, we pulled on each other's cock's registering the sexual sensation reverberating throughout our beings. Gathering our senses as our hands fondled and pulled on each other's cocks the feelings we were experiencing left us in pleasant shock.

"I've wanted this for a long time." I told Ronnie, finally blurting out what I felt in his apartment all those years ago. "I fucking love being naked for you," finally able to express in words to him what my actions had repeatedly silently shown.

"Mmmmm. Me too," Ronnie simply replied.

It was so natural and unforced to be naked together pulling on each other's cocks. Time stood still, only the sensations in our penises, our bodies, our thoughts vibrated about us. I couldn't help myself as I slid down between Ronnie's legs and took his cock back in my mouth. Bathing and lathering his hard cock with my tongue he ran his hand through my hair and hummed "mmmmmmm". Maybe it was selfish of me to want his cock so bad, but sucking his cock made me want to pleasure him and that made me as aroused and horny as I had ever been. It had been so long since I had been with another guy, years in fact, and my sexual hunger was driving me wild.

Everything that led up to this point was making it so much better with Ronnie than any sex with any guy I had ever had. Admittedly I loved sucking cock and it was something that drove my being; I was a lot gayer than anyone had a clue about, this I was now admitting to myself. This was a pleasurable, guilt free, shame free homosexual encounter, not driven by drugs or drink, this was part of who I was. This my first gay encounter since I cleaned many years ago and the years I had been with Susie.

Ironic too, as my last homosexual encounter from before I had the hungover confrontation with my boss and cleaned up my life was actually quite satisfactory and enjoyable. It was one night I snuck a guy into this place I was living with a straight roommate. It was a funky old apartment and I had the basement to myself and there was a door to a common laundry and the street. Right after I let this guy in from the outside basement door, I got a phone call from Deb. This was another irony as we had been apart for quite some time though I always sent out feelers to her, I never heard back from her.

So right as I sneak a guy into my room she calls? Yeah, a little coincidental. The guy was cool about it and waited 20 minutes till I finally got off the phone with Deb. Then we immediately kissed and disrobed. After all the unfulfilling, strange, sometimes forced, sometimes scary anonymous gay encounters I had done up to this point, this turned out to be one of my best gay hookups next to my affair with Ronnie.

So back then during this encounter I had with this guy at that old apartment, it was very sensuous, we kissed and nuzzled, played with each other's cocks, sucked on each other's cocks till he lay back and I took him in my mouth. With steady determination I made love to his cock till he came in my mouth, I sucked down every bit of cum. It was the best blow job I had ever given anyone. He was cool, handsome and really dug me, said I was hot. I was so horny and hard and hadn't cum yet. This guy and I just kissed, nuzzled and whispered loving things for quite some time, he loved my cock and sucked on my cock some more. Must have been about an hour of this since I had sucked him off and he was been hard again as we played with each other.

I put a condom on him and climbed on top of him and he pretty much slid right in. We fucked with me on top kissing him till he came again and I finally came. Never did get his phone number or even his name nor ever saw him again though if I had I know things would have been different in my life. He would have been a hot boyfriend and instead of getting myself clean and getting married to Susie I might have been more inclined to come out as gay. That encounter with that guy was on a Thursday night and that Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Monday was Superbowl weekend and I went on a four-day bender that lead me to change my life.

So, with it have being so long since I last sucked cock and that time I remember as being a very good experience, sucking Ronnie's cock was driving me wild. With loving determination, I kept at my quest with Ronnie squirming in pleasure running his hands through my hair. I kept at it, if you love sucking cock, the cock can tell and good things will occur. I loved it all; sucking cock, kissing Ronnie, being naked with Ronnie, above all the sensation of finally being able to act upon my gay desires with a loving partner. Ronnie responded in kind to the loving attention I was bestowing upon him as I sucked his cock. His cock was big like mine, veiny with a big red bulbous helmet head. When he was getting close his body language and sounds emanating from his voice told me so.

With me sucking so lovingly and diligently on his cock it in turn ejaculated into my mouth as I hungrily lapped down the squirts of cum. Finally, I had succeeded pleasuring my friend in a way I had long only dreamed about or masturbated about. Sucking his cock clean like that after all the build up to that point was so incredible. I sucked and licked and kissed and rubbed my face into his cock long after he had cum before finally climbing back into his arms for an appreciative kiss. We both softly said "Wow!" at exactly the same time and chuckled about that. We were floating. Needless to say, I was still incredibly hard and we made out as Ronnie pulled on my cock. Then laying back, Ronnie masturbated me as my climax built. Humping my cock into his hand was incredible feeling him touch me. I finally came. It was a wonderful ejaculation as my orgasm culminated all the stimulus of everything that had occurred to this point between me and Ronnie.

We stayed naked together for the longest time being quiet and contemplating what had just transpired. For me there was no remorse or shame about what we did with each other, only tenderness. Ronnie was always somewhat of an overly contemplative person so I'm sure a lot of thoughts maybe some doubts about what had occurred. After all I was married and he was dating a girl or two, nothing serious. Still, he was cool about things and affectionate to me as I got dressed and ready to leave. We looked at the painting again and hugged and kissed tenderly. It really was awesome and I told him, pleaded with him that nobody can see it.

When I got home, I was quite a bit more subdued than the previous times I came home from posing nude for Ronnie. Never the less, I masturbated again before Susie came home from work. By the time she got home a little guilt had set in and all through the week I tried to downplay in my mind what had happened between me and Ronnie. Still, my homosexual encounter with Ronnie hung around me all week like a sweet pink cloud. When Monday rolled around again, I called him to see how he was doing and to see if he needed any company. He said "sure come on over" and I began to get butterflies about the possibility of... When I got there, we hugged and he took me in to see the painting again. It was every bit as impressive as I remembered. We held both hands together, staring into each other's eyes. A long hard slow kiss followed and Ronnie led me to his bedroom. As we were yet again naked together in his bed, it was not the same intensity as the last time but it was still absolutely fucking wonderful to be naked and hard again with Ronnie.

I was all over him kissing him, playing with his cock, telling him he was awesome. Again, it was different, we both knew that, but it was exciting being naked in bed together. As we kissed and frotted and played with each other's cock he did tell me I was beautiful and that he really loved my body, that made me feel incredible. We kissed and sucked each other's cocks as we renewed our lovemaking. Back in his arms kissing him I pulled on his cock and knew he had to like what was happening.

I know now that while his body was reacting positively to our romancing, inside his head he was not entirely certain how to handle the stigma of having gay sex with a longtime friend. Regardless, while he was very passionate and loving in bed with me, he was not nearly as expressive verbally about it with me as I was. Even then I was careful not to say too much to not freak him out but I did not hide how much it turned me on being his gay lover, actions speak louder than words. However, when he slipped and told me "you make me so hard" Ronnie didn't object when I spread my legs and pressed his nice hard cock at my hole and I told him I wanted him inside me.

He did get a little lube and started fucking me. I was not the most experienced at it but I knew I was bottom and really wanted his cock in me. He asked about protection, I told him I was OK without. It was fucking awesome to get fucked bareback, I was so aroused and squirmed and writhed in his arms, I felt like a girl. I did whisper in his ear things like "this is so hot" "I love your cock" "please fuck me" Ronnie needed no encouragement as he fucked me hard and kissed me passionately. I was such the feminine partner and writhed, whimpered and moaned like a girl saying "oh fuck yes" "gawd I love this" and "don't stop."

Fuck me he did, pounding his cock deep into me as I really did act feminine and girl like. It was getting us both off. I started jacking myself off as he was fucking me, I started moaning, rolling my eyes back in my head and I came many excited blasts of cum all over my stomach. That's all it took and he came so hard pumping his seed up into me. Collapsing on top of we kissed as he held me and we stayed joined as the sensation subsided. As friends he would always say matter of fact statements that were dry and funny, just the way he would say them. When he told me, I was a "great fuck", I said "yeah, I know" in a very similar manner. We chuckled over that as he kissed me again before disengaging. Laying together snuggled in silence for the longest time Ronnie finally spoke:

"I'm not gay. Just want you to know that," he said looking at the ceiling. "We are just friends, OK?"

"Hey, I'm not gay either," I lied. "This just happened between us. It was me that seduced you. We both know where things stand. I'm married. I love Susie. She and I are best friends. I don't want to lose her or hurt her. I don't want to freak you out or screw up your mind either." I paused. "Know what though? Regardless, this happening with you has been the most exciting thing that has ever happened to me. I've never been this aroused, this horny, this excited or enjoyed sex more than I have with you. Maybe I'm gay, maybe I'm bi. I know this is just a transitory thing between us, we have other things in our lives going on. I'm just enjoying the 'here and now' and will deal with everything else later, I blurted out and grasped his hand. "Wow! that was a mouthful," I added.

"I know," Ronnie replied simply. "I know."

I got up and peed then returned naked to bed. Ronnie did the same and we lay there in silence for a while. In the quiet sunny afternoon, I laid my head on his shoulder as we silently contemplated what we had gotten ourselves into. We snuggled in silence for quite some time, then as was my nature I felt "it" again and lightly stroked my cock, it was hard again in no time. Ronnie put his hand on it and took over, slowly jacking me off. Regardless of our rationalizing our situation I loved being naked for him and loved feeling his hand on my cock. I told him that, "I fucking love being naked for you, fucking love you touching me." It was true. We kissed again and by this time my hand was on his cock. We fondled each other's cocks and were both soon hard as stone again. I went on:

"Don't be mad at me."

"I'm not mad at you silly," Ronnie interrupted.

"That's good because I'm the one who led us here, I'm the one..."

"And I'm here with you like this because I like it too," Ronnie interrupted again as he gave my cock a squeeze.

"Anyway, I guess I need to tell you I've been with a lot of guys before. Remember when I lived in that old apartment on Lincoln Street with Jim? And you and I used to play music in the basement before I quit drinking, before I met Susie? I'd sneak guys in my room late at night or when Jim spent the night at his girlfriend's place. I'm a lot gayer than anyone knows. It was kinda obsessive, destructive, impulsive. Maybe because of the substance abuse. But then I did the same thing before and during with my first wife. You don't know this but I'm kinda a fag."

"No, you're not! You're just a sweet guy," Ronnie interjected. We were both still playing with each other's cocks as we talked.

"No, I really am kinda a fag. Really. I wear panties and lingerie and act like a fag. People think I'm normal and straight, a quiet, reserved, respectable guy. Don't think anyone has any idea that I act like a sissy fag wearing panties for guys. I'm kinda a show off too when I'm like that. I don't know why I'm like that it's just who I am in the 'closet'. Couldn't tell you why I like to wear panties and act gay. Maybe because I was sexually abused as a very young boy made me gay, I don't know. As for acting feminine in panties I have no idea. Deb might have done something to me. She was so beautiful and sexy, but she was a little whack too, so many mind games.

Sex with her was fucking heaven. She knew she could get me to do anything, she always held me at arm's length, always put me through a psychological gauntlet before she'd let me screw her. If we went out to a bar every guy would stare at her she was so hot, she knew that, I knew that. Sometimes in bed she made me wear a thong. They weren't girls' underwear but close to it, bright colors, very thin material. It was fucking insane how hard they'd make me. In some ways I think she enjoyed subtly emasculating me. After we broke up and I started drinking heavy I'd buy panties and lingerie to wear for guys I'd hook up with. It just felt so natural and exciting to do that. It was just who I was inside." I was giving Ronnie a peek into who I was and how I live inside my secret life.

I was so hard telling him this as he stroked my cock. Just revealing all this to him being there naked stroking each other's cock made us both very aroused and it made us reconnect on a deeper level wiping away some of the weirdness about being gay with each other. We went from "OK it just happened and we had gay sex again, now what? This might be awkward," after he fucked me; to just sensuous feelings of desire as I took him and kissed him madly pulling on his cock.

He felt it too as we embraced and kissed in our naked gay abandon. I started whispering things in his ear between mad hungry kisses like "you're so hot" "I love your cock" "I'm such a fag for you" " I love being your girl " and all these phrases did the trick as he was all over me again, humping his cock onto me, kissing me back with a hungry fervor. Soon again my mouth was on his cock. I loved sucking cock and being gay with him.

After a while we were both back to jacking each other off. Eventually his hand replaced mine on his own cock as I played with his balls and he knew he wanted to cum. When he began to moan and ejaculate semen all over his tummy I watched in amazement. Quite naturally I reached my face down taking his cum laden penis in my mouth making him shiver as it made his tender cock tingle with my warm wet mouth. Tasting his cum was lovely and kinky and as I was still so hard my arousal led me to lick up most of the cum from his cock and belly.

Laying back I began jacking off so I could cum again too. Ronnie was sweet too, kissing my neck and ears, saying nice things like "I'm glad you're my friend", "you have a nice cock", "you really are very sexy." When he told me "I'm not sure this is right what we are doing with each other, but I've wanted to touch you back when I first saw your cock," and then kissed me again as I masturbated even harder and began to cum. My ejaculation was stunning and we lay there coming down from our afternoon of sex.

Ronnie sent me off affectionately telling me "let's just chill for a bit and see what happens." I told him to just call when he felt like getting together again. We both knew the paradigm had shifted and our relationship had changed. We were no longer just "buds", we were lovers, gay lovers at that. That stigma would always be there, what we did together could never be undone. But still for me it was the best gay sex of my life. With a libido as strong as mine with an erotic imagination to match it stuck with me very powerfully.

Yes, there was guilt about being married to a wonderful wife but the fact that being naked with Ronnie, kissing him, sucking his cock, taking him inside me was an experience, an event in my sexuality. My bad for putting myself in this position by subtly coming on to Ronnie, literally willing my simmering closet homosexuality into his life and his bed. Looking back in the rear-view mirror I still shudder and get aroused by the four times Ronnie and I were intimate with each other in the roughly year and a half before he moved away.

It was a long time till I heard from Ronnie again, maybe four months or longer. Pretty much thought I freaked him out. It would have been awkward just stopping by at his place to hang out. There would always be the stigma of it, since we had sex so intensely those first two times after I posed for him. Maybe it was just in my mind but I know if I was ever over at his house just me and Ronnie, I know I would want to come on to him, want to get naked with him again. When I was cleaning up my life, I still hung on seeing a therapist every so often. She was really good, I liked her and how she helped me a great deal. She was not your typical clinical therapist; she was a biblical therapist I found in desperation the day I decided to clean up my life.

Now I am somewhat spiritual, but she did not try to convert me or anything like that, she just did what a good therapist does and lets you talk through your issues. Initially I did not go her about substance abuse but for sex addiction. Amusing also that she was a reformed lesbian. Now I have actually been clean for many, many years and initially I was guided by her away from homosexual thoughts and actions. What I found was as time went by and I was not on substances anymore and enjoyed that part of my life being clean, my homosexual desires never went away, though being married I generally put them on the shelf. Till I seduced Ronnie. I told my therapist about the time I first exposed my nakedness to Ronnie and she told me I was subconsciously trying to seduce him for this or that reason I can't remember exactly what she told me. Nor can I remember exactly what she told me about my proclivity for wearing panties and lingerie during my homosexual encounters.