The Seduction Exposure

The time in between my second and third encounter I was coming to grips that I had an intense homosexual affair with a good friend yet I was married to a wonderful woman. It really was a wonderful marriage, much better than my first marriage, yet I had these gay desires that would not go away. It's one thing to masturbate to gay fantasies and gay porn, quite another to have sex in the flesh with another male. Thinking I pretty much freaked out Ronnie, I tried to not dwell on it but the powerful nature of my hidden sexuality haunted me. Try as I might my fantasies and masturbation were always pretty much about gay sex.

Even during sex with Susie it would only be through gay fantasies and thoughts that I would be able to achieve climax, it had been that way for years, long before my affair with Ronnie. My desire to cross-dress increased and rarely a Monday went by when I had the house to myself, that I did not masturbate wearing panties or lingerie. If I thought having a gay sexual encounter freaked out Ronnie before, I could only imagine if he saw me in panties and lingerie what that might do.

Not sure you could call it obsessed but my vivid imagination in the sexual fantasy land of my mind always led me to some very gay thoughts that had really no basis for a reality that would ever exist. When I masturbated or had sex with Susie these fantasies took me to some very wild arousing places with thoughts that I could never tell Susie or even Ronnie. Not sure she would like to know that the only way I could climax inside her was thinking about me having gay sex with another guy. It had been like that for many, many years. These thoughts were so gay and so forbidden that they caused my erections and ejaculations to be out of this world incredible. Yes, these were very, very gay thoughts.

Thoughts like how exciting it would be to have Ronnie be my boyfriend or be my husband, and me be his femboy wife. Just how wonderful and erotic it would be to be "out" and be his steady male lover and partner. Always being able to kiss and hold each other have him see me naked all the time around the house and in bed. To be his lover that enjoyed me always wanting him for sex, always wanting me to suck his cock, having him want to fuck me as the submissive feminine one in our homosexual relationship.

The thought of traipsing around in panties, lingerie even high heels and dresses makeup, being naturally feminine and faggy like I always felt inside. These are thoughts I could never reveal to anyone yet they drove my psyche and libido wild. Even just the thought of being barefoot in jeans and a tee shirt and being his clingy, gay boyfriend, always wanting to take off my shirt and be topless for him and open up my jeans so he could fondle my cock as we kissed. These thoughts made me so hard I could barely hold back my ejaculation as I masturbated to all these fantasies.

I shivered at the thought of him taking me to a gay bar to show me off as his boyfriend even if we were just in guy clothes. Thinking about him taking me to a gay bar fully 'en femme' in drag was another intoxicating thought. Or being dressed femme and faggy for Ronnie and a room full of horny guys. My kinky sexual imagination always runs wild. Other things too, kinky things liked having my nipples pierced to show him how gay I was for him. So was the thought of being his chastity lover, Ronnie locking my cock up in a chastity device and denying me erections. What a stimulating fantasy to be in chastity for Ronnie, sucking his cock while mine is locked in a pink chastity device.

Or having him with his nice hard cock up my butt with my legs spread and my cock in a chastity device flopping around as he fucks his boy lover. Even the thought of Ronnie showing off my caged penis to other guys or better yet showing my caged cock off to his ex-girlfriends or ex-wife has led to some massive ejaculations in my fantasy world. Not sure why but being in chastity for another guy has always made me feel as gay as fuck.

I knew I would have to be content with these wild thoughts in the fantasy world for my secret masturbations and sex fueled longings. Remembering getting fucked by Ronnie and fucked by the guy in my apartment that one time led me to love inserting things up my butt when masturbating; anal probes, lubed tapered candles, vibrators, dildoes. Even Susie knew to make me climax during sex that her fingering my tight hole is what it would always take to 'trip the trigger'. Everyone has secrets that they may never reveal; I was content to be in the closet not wanting to tip the scales and pursue anymore anonymous gay sex encounters.

Still, the memory of my affair with Ronnie and the thought of perhaps another episode always lingered in the back of my mind. Thinking, yeah, it was about five months since I last was intimate with Ronnie. Susie went up on a Saturday to see her folks; I had to work till after eight pm so I stayed behind. On a whim I gave Ronnie a call before leaving work not knowing how it would be received. Surprisingly he answered and genuinely sounded happy to hear from me.

"I was going to give you a call sometime," he told me, though I'm not sure he really would have. "Leslie and I broke up but I didn't want you to think I was only calling to catch you on the rebound," Ronnie said in the wry, dry manner that was his nature.

He invited me over, said maybe we could watch a movie. I told him when I'd be over after I cleaned up from work. When I got over to Ronnie's it was just a curt hug and "hi, how ya been." I had a shoulder bag I dropped by the couch as Ronnie went into the kitchen. You could tell there was a little tension and apprehension in the air. It had been quite a while since I had seen him. So yes, there was a little bit of "the elephant in the room" based on the last time I had seen him when we were naked in bed together. He got himself another beer and me a soda and we sat on the couch. Again, it was a little awkward not knowing what to expect. It was kinda like when you were with a girl who you had slept with at one time but hadn't seen her forever and you didn't really know what was going on in her head. Would she want to "do it" again or just play things by ear, that's how I was sensing things. Ronnie put on a movie and we did not talk much, little chit chat here and there.

As the movie played it was on for about a half an hour but it was having a hard time keeping our interest. Ronnie started loosening up and was cracking jokes about the actors in the movie. After a while he said "this movie sucks" and clicked the sound off.

"Sorry I'm such a dick tonight," he said looking over at me. "Guess I'm a little messed up in the head. Things with Leslie fell apart and I'm back to where I always end up. Then with you coming over it scares me a little."

I knew what he meant on both accounts. As long as I had known Ronnie it seemed he always would get a girlfriend, get intense with her then they would break up, time after time. Maybe not as bad as my affairs with Deb and the other girls but still, it was a noticeable pattern. As far as me coming over, unlike me who by now had pretty much accepted what my sexuality was all about, Ronnie had issues with the stigma of gay sex.

"I can go," I said.

"No, don't go. I'm okay. We can be friends." We were sitting quite far apart on the couch as he reached over and clasped my hand. "Stay. I don't care what happens."

He got up to use the bathroom as I got up and went to the room he used for his studio. Looking around I started sorting through a sheave of canvases to see where the nude painting of me might be. When he joined me in the studio I said "my turn" and went to use the bathroom. I fetched my shoulder bag that I had left by the couch and went in the bathroom. All the time in the many months since the last time I had been with Ronnie my sexuality had reverted somewhat to the time before I met Susie - as in by wearing panties and lingerie made me feel gay as fuck and I longed to present myself as feminine to a guy again. In fact, I nearly posted an ad to find a guy to hook up with but chickened out. Just the thought of posting an ad of me being femme for a guy led to a number of very intense masturbations. Certain that it might freak Ronnie out if I dressed like that for him I had never the less put a few items in the shoulder bag if the opportunity presented itself and I could muster enough nerve to go through with it. There in the bathroom after taking a piss I contemplated doing it.

It's now or never I thought as I started to take off my clothes. It felt good getting naked knowing Ronnie was in the other room. I always liked being naked anytime I could, but being at Ronnie's house knowing Susie was out of town for the evening it felt exciting, exciting that I would show him the side of me I had told him about, the side of me that drove me mad. Keeping it simple I had brought over a pair of high heel open toe strappy sandals, a pair of panties and a Victoria's Secret spaghetti strap chemise. The panties were micro fiber side tie string bikini panties in a pastel aqua blue, they always felt heavenly and made my little butt look cute. The chemise was silky and floral in a similar color of aqua but they were not part of a set. Rummaging through the bag I pulled out a bob style dirty blond wig and a tube of hot pink lipstick.

Guess if I was going to go through with I I'd might as well play the part and be as femme and faggy as possible. And faggy I was. But faggy or not, I did look kinda hot. Men who cross-dress for other men relish the sense of femininity that presenting themselves as a woman for the purpose of sex brings. And the scintillating feelings of being gay, knowing you are gay, showing off your feminine gayness to a masculine man is incomparable. Gay men really don't present themselves as feminine, most are in the masculine attracted to masculine camp. Not me. Flaming feminine fairy type. When you are this type of married closet homosexual, getting the rare opportunity to be the "girl" is priceless.

Positioning the wig and applying a bit of lipstick the transformation took long not at all. Showering at home before coming over I shaved everything; my face, legs, under arms, pubes, balls, ass pussy. Something else too; I painted my toes hot pink. So rarely did I get that opportunity, I knew I would have to wear socks around Susie and she would not even know till I could remove the nail polish at a later time. For now, they added a wonderful touch, the whole 9 yards. As I slipped out of the bathroom there was a rug on the floor leading to the studio so the sound of the high heels would not immediately betray my ruse. Slowing walking towards the studio I called out "did you find it?"

Ronnie knew what I meant. "Yes, it's here," he called back. He was behind the easel when the click clack of the high heels on the hardwood floor announced my entry and revealed to him something surely, surely, he was not expecting. Ronnie's wide-eyed stare as he sat at the easel confirmed this as I slowly, non challant-ly walked up beside him, placing my arm on his shoulder mimicking the time I walked up naked that day he finished the painting. And like that day his arm went around my waist as we again admired the painting.

"I still love it," I said as my penis began tenting in my panties.

"I'm amazed. Never would have thought I'd do something like this," Ronnie commented as we continued to admire the painting. "Or this," he said as he reached his hand to touch my penis growing firm in the silky panties.

I shuddered. The touch of his hand on my penis as he rubbed it around made the déjà vu of the moment every bit as wonderful as the first time. I was smitten. With my penis now out of the panties and his hand pulling along the length of my erection stroking and jacking on it, clear pre cum was oozing out of the helmet head like a spring seeping from the rocks. Looking gay, feeling gay and feminine, having my friend toy with my penis, I was floating on a pink cloud of sexual bliss. It had been so long; I had masturbated so many times thinking about the first two times we had done this and never knowing if it might happen again that I was content to live in the moment and let Ronnie continue to play with my incredibly erect hard penis.

His other hand slid down from my waist and began caressing my pantie clad bottom. I loved being played with in this manner, I loved being the center of someone's sexual attention. My knees were getting weak from the sensation and my mind was getting foggy. Quite naturally I slid onto his lap with my arms around his neck. Looking intently into each other's eyes Ronnie told me:

"You were right." I knew what he meant.

"That I'm a fag?" I replied.

"Yup," Ronnie stated in his "matter of fact" manner. "But you're kinda hot!"

With that the dam burst and a hungry kiss renewed the passion we had previously known together. As we kissed like long separated illicit lovers (which we were) Ronnie played with my hard nipples through the silky chemise. He kinda toyed a little with my wig, inspecting it when I whispered in as feminine sounding voice as possible "see, this is not gay, I'm a girl."

"No, it's not gay," Ronnie said rhetorically in a fake deep voice and we chuckled.

It was so gay. We both knew that. We didn't care at this point; we were both so aroused. Getting off his lap I pulled him up, we stood together my arms around his neck like I was a sexy vamp. He kissed the side of my face, tongued my ear and kissed the nape of my neck as I pawed at his hard cock through his pants. When his big hand slid inside my cute blue panties and grabbed a handful of ass, I almost lost it. Thrusting his tongue down my throat, his middle finger found its way between my butt cheeks fingering my tight hole as he toyed with my ass. I could've ridden his finger as long as he wanted to poke me with it. He still had beer on his breath and I'm thinking he was a little looser about things than normal as he seemed aroused and manly towards me.

I began to unbutton his shirt seductively and it slid off as I then went for the prize and began unfastening his belt. As I pulled down the zipper and reached in for his cock Ronnie had reached both his hands under my silky blue floral chemise and pressed each thumb hard against my nipples and began playing with my "titties." Barely able to free his cock before he forced his mouth on mine, his sexual desire was lit up. Breaking the kiss, he watched as I mashed our two hard penises together producing an unimaginable level of arousal, frotting hard tacky cock on hard tacky cock. Maybe because he had been drinking but it seemed he was much more into our love play than less than an hour earlier when the atmosphere was tense and I was doubting if we were even going have sex.

Sliding down to my knees, pulling his pants down, I mashed my face against his hard, hairy cock, the scent of penis drenching my senses. My homosexual obsession took over as I greedily began sucking Ronnie's cock again, knowing this was an opportunity not to be missed. All married closet homosexuals know this, that these opportunities are often few and far between so the fervor and hunger to suck cock drives you to a frenzied level of attentiveness to the cock in your mouth. It tasted so fucking good; I had missed sucking his cock. While I had masturbated many times thinking about his cock from the last time that I was able to till now, this was many times better than thinking about it and "wanking". In a fog I voraciously sucked Ronnie's cock till he pulled me up and snapped me out of my cock infused daze.

"Come here, you," he told me as we kissed again then he pulled his pants up and led me to his bedroom.

There was lamp on next to his bed cast a warm glow as he climbed naked into bed with me. I had shed the chemise and the wig (the lipstick long since kissed away or slobbered on to Ronnie's cock). His big hand toyed with my rock-hard cock in the sexy panties as we kissed and moaned, I still had the high heels on, I felt so sexy and slutty. It surprised me when he flipped me around and we ended up in a horny sixty-nine. His mouth bathed my cock and balls with his warm wet mouth as this drove me to feverishly resuming sucking his cock. This reciprocal mouth on cock, cock in mouth went on for many long wonderful minutes till we ended up back in each other's arms kissing like rabid dogs and pulling on each other's cocks. Ronnie humped his cock into my hand as I jacked him off.

Ronnie let out an exasperated moan as he finally came, squirting cum all over his belly and my hand. With the high heels flat on the bed and my knees up and legs spread like the naughty slut I really was, Ronnie returned the favor as his hand caressed my hard cock. It felt so good to get a hand job, a man's hand on your cock never fails to please. Moaning and writhing, telling Ronnie "don't stop" I started fingering my tight hole with some of his cum as he masturbated me. Ronnie kissed the side of my face and told me "this is so hot" when finally, after a long while I ejaculated too, cumming and moaning and sated. We were both coated in cum on our bellies as Ronnie turned out the lamp and we snuggled under the covers.

In the morning as the sun was barely coming up Ronnie got up to us the bathroom. When he got back into bed, he was all over me; pawing my cock kissing my neck and face placing my hand on his cock. It was then I came to the realization that for all my homosexual longings, all my gay encounters I had never spent the night with another guy. Never. Always just sex and go. This was special, this was heaven. That Ronnie was so eager and horny for me, that surprised me too. Really it had been me that always seemed to lead him on, the one that had seduced him. Now he was taking the lead, his manly urges taking over. Here I was in his bed naked, no panties no lingerie, just a naked guy with my male friend being frisky towards me. It still made me feel feminine and faggy. I fucking loved it when a guy wanted my body. He was really agitated and horny. Ronnie got up on all fours and pressed his nice hard cock into my face.

Licking, kissing and sniffing his cock it found its way into my mouth as I ravishingly suckled his manhood. I sucked his glorious hard cock for the longest time till he slid back into me, kissing and tonguing me, just really possessed with lust towards me as we writhed around naked together. Really quite unexpected to be honest that he was so aroused and all over me, cock on cock humping and agitated with horniness and kissing me. Despite the fact Ronnie had issues with the stigma that he didn't want to be gay, he was still a guy, guys are always horny and having a naked friend in bed with him made sure his sexual urges and libido pretty much quashed any trepidation about us having sex.

Shuddering in desire, I rolled over on my side as Ronnie's front was to my back and he humped his cock along my ass. He was kissing the back of my neck and tonguing my ear as I felt his hard cock against my butt. Grasping his cock, I spread my legs and poked it at my tight hole. I put some spit on my hand and rubbed it on my hole as he began to hump up into me. Still could not believe how into sex he was as his cock slid into my ass and he started butt fucking me from behind like I was a girl. It was so fucking hot getting fucked by Ronnie, I know if he really was my boyfriend, he'd be fucking me all the time.

"Fuck!," he exasperated as he humped his cock up my butt.

"Yes," I gasped back. I fucking loved it. I did. So rare anymore to have the opportunity to take cock.

In passionate, determined humping Ronnie thrust his cock up into me as we kissed and moaned. All the fantasizing and masturbating about this did not even come close to the reality of getting fucked; I always was a bottom boy, this ran deep inside in my sexual being. This was so gay. Sleeping with another guy now in his bed with him screwing me in the morning. I fucking loved it. I always have loved sex of any kind, women are beautiful and sexy, but gay sex is always the hottest, horniest, most exciting sex there is. Gay sex always makes me so hard. And with Ronnie humping his hard cock up my tight ass, my cock was throbbing as his cock fucked my ass. It was dirty, nasty, naughty obscene guy on guy sex. Ronnie reached around from behind and grasped my cock as he humped my butt.