The Seventh Wheel

Author's Note: Mmm, this feels like a novella to me, it feels longer than usual. I have been reluctantly saving this 'Wheel' for some special imaginary occasion, some wonderful happy occurrence that, well, hasn't come up yet, ha... but it will and I will wish I saved it.

I originally wrote these two little fantasies of mine (Watching, um, makeup tutorials and going to a nail salon with a lover) and built a whole story around it.

A reluctant crossdresser moves in with a man while their girlfriends go away for work together. I hope YOU like it.

***

"Come on I want you to wear one of those long flowing dresses that I find hanging up to dry."

"Wait, what are we doing, why do you want me to dress up?"

"Will you stop, I want you in something overly feminine, one of those dresses you never show me but I know you love. Just put one on."

Talula, well Lula, my girlfriend was calling me, wanted me in a dress, she wanted me with my longer nails and full makeup. She never wanted to see me dressed as a woman anymore. When she found out I was cross-dressing she was so angry, she didn't talk to me for four days.

I didn't talk to HER for a month.

"So you keep this a secret from me? What is wrong with you?"

"I just didn't want to talk about it. If you didn't walk in on me unannounced you would never of known."

"I would have found out, stop it. I don't like this at all, look at you."

"Then go, I don't care. This is what I do, I have been a crossdresser, a transvestite, whatever since I was seven. I have known you for fourteen months." And I asked her to leave my apartment, I wasn't loud, I wasn't even that disappointed. She was mad at me for keeping a secret, but I forgave her for lying to me that she stopped smoking. I forgave her for denting my car and blaming someone else. I forgave her for a lot of things I shouldn't have and now she was angry I wore dresses? Ya gotta be kiddin' me.

After she left I went into my bedroom and changed from a black skirt and white blouse, into my sparkly blue dress and matching heels, I painted my nails, I closed my eyes and relaxed with a Bay Breeze in my beautiful bedroom. I then smiled in my mirror, I wouldn't even miss her. I was just disappointed I had to do all this alone, I was enjoying having a partner.

That was a whole year ago.

*

Lula and I had been living together for the last eight months. We bought in on a house together, she wanted to flip it. Lula was good with money, good with real estate, she was just okay at relationships, with people. Once I realized that I made peace with it, I knew what to expect.

I had a surprise for her, it was just five hours away. She needed a break. I wanted to thank her for letting me dress up for her, but I wanted to know why first.

When I got home she was getting some things ready for before dinner, she was cutting cheese, cold cuts, she was pouring chips into bowls. She was busy and she was never busy, well at least not when she was at home.

She was talking, she wasn't looking at me. I was used to that. "And do something with your hair, wear it up. I've seen pictures of you like that. You are so girlie, I love that."

"You've seen pictures of me?"

She called me this afternoon from work, she wanted to have dinner, she wanted to see me in a dress. She wanted to see how convincing I was as a female. All of a sudden she was interested, all of a sudden she needed to see me in heels and hear my femme voice. I knew she was up to something, she was making me very uncomfortable.

"Take your time, we can eat late, I want you perfect. Put on those flowered earrings too. I want to see my sexy girlfriend. Um, what's her name anyway?" I didn't want to tell her, I knew it would come up in later conversations with her friends, her family, even old boyfriends.

Months ago, after I told her I didn't want to see her anymore, she called constantly. She cried, she didn't know why I was being so difficult. Why I didn't want to be with her again.

"I thought everything was fine. Didn't we have fun, didn't we used to at least like each other?"

I still wouldn't talk to her, I moved on with my life. My job was busy, my parents were moving away, I was going to be alone in LA. I was excited to finally let my girl side out, completely out, I didn't need her, I needed someone more supportive. Somebody to do things together, somebody who would go away with me.

Slowly we started to see each other again. She needed a date to a wedding, I would pick her up when her car was being repaired, I took her out to dinner, I took her to shows, the parks, the zoos. I knew what she liked. So what if I liked wearing women's clothes, so what if I was obsessed with pantyhose, stockings, lipstick. If she couldn't come to terms with it then I wanted no part of her, she could find another attentive, affectionate, low maintainance boyfriend.

"And make sure you put on those long plastic nails, god I can't believe you can do anything with them on."

So I did. So I did what she asked, she was relatively nice to me since we bought the house together. We had separate bedrooms, but our lives were mostly shared, well when we saw each other, it was okay, I was glad I let her back into my life. But, now she wants to see me in a dress, in heels, with long nails? She wanted me to wear my hair up? What the heck.

*

I told her before I changed, that if she wanted me to dress for dinner there had to be a couple of ground rules. First, she would have to be nice. Second, she would have to use the correct pronouns, and third, she would have to call me Sabrina.

"Sabrina? Really? Ugh!"

"I thought you were going to be nice?"

"I am, I am, I'm just kidding. I would of thought a guy who wears dresses would have a sense of humor."

I gave her a look, I wasn't a guy in a dress and I did have a sense of humor, she was the one that was a little too dry, a little condescending. I was always the funny one in the relationship, but funny of course was relative.

I took a long shower, I plucked a few stray hairs that were on my thigh, my hip. My body was free of almost all hair already. I used to wax, and then my friend, Megan that paints my toenails at Fashion Center, convinced me to get it all removed. I was twenty-two when she started, I was twenty-five and a half when she finished. That night she exfoliated my face and painted my toenails, then we went out to celebrate, we went to a club. I was always in boy mode then, always when I was with Megan, and I met Lula, I introduced her to my esthetician, but of course, I didn't say that. I told her she was my friend from the neighborhood. We stayed drinking at the club the rest of the night, we all had to take a cab home. I was the first to get dropped off, I think. That was a year and a half ago, seems like a lifetime. That night I finally felt like an adult at twenty-five, Lula was five years older than me and she told me she felt like an adult when she turned eleven.

I washed my hair, I wasn't going to wear a wig tonight, If she wanted me to wear it up. I could easily pull a look off with my real hair, my long strawberry blonde. When it wasn't in a rubber band it went down past my shoulder blades. I took so many supplements for my hair and lashes, even my butt. Megan always gave them to me and I used every single one. I was at my vanity, my fluffy white robe around me and I was blow drying my hair and using a curling iron, I had been doing this for years. I don't know why I don't do this more often, now that the family was in Oregon, I felt a little free-er, a little more feminine. I felt I could play with and style my hair more. I smiled at my reflection, once I started the process of becoming feminine my facial features changed, my eyes, my smile, I looked more like a girl.

Next, I slipped on my strapless bra, size D. I put in my forms. I had three different types of breast forms, for different types of outfits, I was always prepared. I put on my waist cincher, it lost me three inches. Next, I put on my white panties and my nude pantyhose. I had on hip pads underneath. When Megan first suggested them at her salon years ago, I balked. I wanted to be natural, I wanted my body to just be me. I was being a proud crossdresser. She laughed as she grabbed my boobs, she tilted her head and made a face, so I reluctantly did what she suggested. I now have a perfect curvy feminine figure over my slightly thick frame. I was 5'8", 150 pounds, with nice round bottom and soft perfect shoulders.

Megan could have been my sister, we were the same height, weight, and shoe size, we could share clothes, she would bring in outfits for me to try on. I had so many pictures of me at her salon posing like a model, like a diva. I was almost always in Megan's clothes, her sister's bridesmaid dress, her neighbor's schoolgirl costume, even Mrs. Claus. Our only difference was our hair, I was strawberry blonde and Megan was a brunette. She always kept it short.

Megan taught me to do my makeup and it always took a while, I needed it to be perfect, I needed to concentrate.

"How much longer! What are you rebuilding from scratch?" Lula was yelling toward my closed door, my androgynous maroon room. I made a face in my mirror, she would have to wait, I didn't rush my makeup or my composure for anything.

I moved to the door, "Maybe another forty-five minutes, I'm sorry." I closed the door, heard her huff. She had only seen me completely dressed up twice since she walked in on me the first time. I wanted to be perfect for her, I wanted her to be proud of me. I figured if she was starting to get interested in my crossdressing I should be the best 'female' I could be. I was doing this for her. I even got her a gift to thank her, to thank her for letting me be myself. A week at The Orleans in Las Vegas, at the pool, at the slots, at the tables, was perfect for her, it was right up her alley.

I put on my foundation, I fixed and darkened my eyebrows, I put on my false lashes. I put on blue eyeliner, a little copper eye shadow, mauve lips. Sabrina was starting to appear in her mirror. After a couple of brushes, a little bit of wand action, and then fixing my hair, I then put it up. I loved that I could wear my hair up, the first time I did it, I came in my panties. Just looking at the woman in the mirror with whisps falling in front of her made-up face made me over excited, made me lose a little control. I couldn't believe I could look so feminine. Sometimes doing anything a little too girlie would make me excited and orgasm. I had a habit of moving my hands, playing with my hair, checking my nails, god, almost anything femme could make me hard then squishy. Hidden in my tight panties. I was constantly making them wet, when I wore boxers I very rarely thought about sex at all.

Now I took a deep breath and played with myself. I wouldn't be able to get through the rest of the night looking like a boy in my panties. I needed to be tucked and hidden away, once I came I would shrink once again and pray nothing takes me over the edge. I didn't need Lula making fun of me knowing I was getting excited just playing with my hair or nails.

"Ahh... Mmm..."

I could now concentrate and finish up. I piled my hair on top of my head with a clip, I added a little extension. I had a high little ponytail, it was cute, even cuter with the strands of blonde covering some of my ears and neck. I put on my big gold hoops, decorated with little pink flowers and leaves. I loved how they moved when I turned my head. Lula found them on my vanity while she was snooping, she told me they were a little over the top, too feminine. I just took them from her and shrugged, what did she know, she wore army green leggings and black t-shirts. I really didn't need clothing or accessory advice from her, I only took it from Megan.

I heard Lula again. "Where is the gin?"

Gin? She was going to make drinks? That was an even bigger surprise than her asking me to wear heels.

"I'm almost done, I will make something."

"Oh my god, you sound like such a girl already." I heard her groan as she moved further away from the door. What did she think, once I had my lips and eyes done, once I was in stockings, the voice came naturally. I have been practicing for years. I would call stores and restaurants to practice over the phone. I wouldn't feel comfortable until my voice was perfectly feminine.

I pulled one of my long dresses from the closet. I had a lot, they were the best. I had over a dozen of them. Flowers, patterns, light, long with a slit, those were so my favorite. The one I chose for tonight, is long and white with blue flowers. It had tiny little spaghetti straps holding it up making my breasts look perfect. There was a slit up the front showcasing my left leg, it went right up to the top of my perfect nylon thigh, it was very feminine and sexy. I then slipped on my four-inch nude pumps. I found my matching clutch.

Sitting back at my vanity I put on my long nails. I painted them nude to match my heels, to match my hidden toes. A squirt of my Gucci perfume, and then checked my hair, my lips, my breasts, my confidence. I was ready.

"Finally, I can hear you clicking in those heels." I heard her as I passed the empty bedrooms, walking down the winding stairs. I moved into the living room, she was setting up the little table, she had four glasses at the ready. I froze.

She turned, she was surprised. "Um, wow, you clean up pretty good, look at that leg, I am very impressed."

"Is someone coming over?"

She had a wicked smile on her face, she shrugged, the front door bell buzzed. "I guess so, ha." And she left me frozen.

***

When we moved into the too-big new house the plan was to sell it fast and move on to something else. We both owned apartments, we both had some money, it was a good idea. The LA neighborhood was a little trendy, a little crowded, but the houses were expensive and desirable. Lula assumed we would be in and out of the house in a year, or a little more.

She let me move my feminine things into one of the rooms, she said she didn't mind if I dressed up, she didn't mind at all. After our little disagreement, she became quite complacent. I was happy about that, I was moving on to the next stage of dressing. I was still so nervous around people, I was hoping it would be a growing and learning experience. I figured living with a woman would be great, I was hoping she was going to be more involved, I was hoping I would learn something from her, maybe the little bit of her womanly charm would rub off on me.

I was usually on my own, or visiting Megan at the salon and hiding in my car with my dark glasses, at least now I didn't always come home to an empty house.

***

I was hoping Lula wasn't going to tease me. I was still standing, holding my clutch, the air conditioning blowing on my bare shoulders and arms. The wisps of my hair slightly blew around my face. I looked like I was ready for the opera, the symphony, maybe even the opening of an art gallery, but that was just me.

"Oh my god, you look absolutely adorable. Are you going to church? Ha." Lula's friend Beth, took my hand, she moved my hair, looked in my eyes, my lips, she touched, then kissed my cheek with a loud smack. "I can't believe it, are you sure you are not a girl? Has someone checked?" She giggled, she put her hand close to my crotch and squeezed, I moved back and my heart started to beat three times as fast. If she tried hard enough she would have got a handful of absolutely nothing.

I looked past her, her boyfriend was behind her, he had a bemused smile on his face, I could tell he was as uncomfortable with this get-together as I was.

"So, Beth, Max, I want you to meet Sabrina. My roommate, ha. Well, my sexy roommate."

I tried to smile, I tried to not look uncomfortable as Max came over and lightly took my hand, "Hi, Sabrina, nice to meet you. I love your dress."

"So do I, and look at that leg action." Beth was looking down, my one exposed extremity, she lifted the fabric, both my legs were now on display. Everyone was looking at my high platform pumps, my perfectly smooth thighs, a tiny bit of my panty. I was hoping she would drop it soon, I felt myself tremble.

"Actually I am quite surprised, I didn't think she was going to look this great." Lula was shaking her head talking to Beth, looking at each part of my body, studying me. "Sabrina talk to us, let's hear that cutesy voice of yours."

I gave a quick glance to Max, then Beth, I was now on the spot, I was now shaking even more. I wasn't used to this kind of scrutiny, this kind of negative attention, I wasn't used to being a party favor. I think maybe I liked it hidden in my car with my visor down, wearing glasses. I just smiled and bit my lip, I don't even think I could have talked if I tried.

"Ha," Lula was giggling, "She is so shy, she is such a sweet little girl." She said in her sing-song voice.

Beth stood in front of me, "And look at her blush."

I decided I had to do something I had to get out from under their gaze. "Drinks?" I croaked, I looked at Max, he seemed the easier of the three to talk to.

"Sure, anything."

I walked into the kitchen, walked over to our little bar, started forgetting I had three people inside that were surprised to see me. Three people that knew I wasn't a woman under my long flowered dress. Three people that didn't know meeting them made my 'clit' shrink and hide.

*

I heard talking as I was making the pitcher of martinis.

"Lula, she is stunning. This is going to be so much fun." I heard moving around, some clinking, "Her shoulders and arms are perfect, she looks almost like a real woman, you should take her out more."

"I can't believe she has been hiding this side of herself since she was seven, can you imagine, she has been a girl since grammer school?"

Then I heard Max. "I can believe it."

I got ready to make an entrance, I knew they would all be watching me intentively again. I took a deep breath and closed my eyes. When I dressed as a woman I became very feminine, my mannerisms and especially my walk. I hoped they didn't say anything mean, or make me feel even more vulnerable. I was hoping this was going to be an easy-going night with her friends. I didn't want to cry, I didn't want to have to sneak away and hide in the bathroom, dabbing my eyes, wishing I was far away. I was genuinely nice to everyone and I hoped and prayed that everyone was nice to me too, I deserved it, I had great karma.

I slid in as quietly as I could, my heels lightly clicking on the hardwood floor. As soon as I turned from the hall into the living room all eyes were upon me. I had the pitcher of gin martinis and my clutch under my arm. I slowly poured everyone a drink. The room was too quiet, my hands were starting to shake.

"I'll help." And then Max took the pitcher and filled the last two glasses, I smiled at him. Men were easier to be around, I learned that when I dressed at Megan's salon. They never wondered about what was behind the makeup, the outfits, they took everything at face value. They usually just lingered on my legs. Women tended to look deeper, women were much nosier.

"Thank you." Plop, plop. I put olives in all the glasses.

***

I remember the day I met Beth. I remember it vividly.

When I first started dating Lula she would take me out with her friends, she told me she didn't like to go alone. Two couples, the Marzen's and the Antonelli's. four whole people, Lula and I were five and six. We met for dinner, brunch, lunch, two to three times a week sometimes, it was nice. I loved having someplace to go, to mingle on a Tuesday, a Thursday night, sometimes even early Sunday mornings.

For over three months we tried new cocktails, listened to new music, heard old jokes. Her friends were fun, they seemed to like me right from the start. I was quiet anyway, I was a good listener. I used to make plans with the two husbands, sometimes I would do work for the two wives. I was an interior designer, I was quite busy, but whatever the two couples needed I did, or I found someone who would.