The Shape Of Us

(this is my first story! I would love some feedback.)

Eli woke slowly in a dark room, and at first he saw nothing.

The darkness held him like a great sweating hand. And just as a hand leaves an object warm after release, so too was it that as the darkness loosened its grip, Eli was left with the heat.

The room came to him as large, murky shapes above his head—first the rectangle of soft light that sat on the ceiling, then the corner of darkness above the closet. His eyes descending from the ceiling, and he saw next one dark form that became the dresser, another his tv. Below that, extending off to his right, came the outline of Marie's side, the shape of her hips flowing down her thigh and dissipating into tangled sheets around her feet.

Eli lay on his back, Marie laying on him, half of her body on Eli's chest and right shoulder, her hair splayed out over them both. Her leg between his, his leg between hers.

He kept his body still so as not to disturb her, though she was nowhere near as light a sleeper as he was. Often when alone he woke up in the middle of the night, and after an hour or so of longing to disappear again, he was forced to admit he was still there, that his eyes were getting tired of being held shut, and once he gave up he could go raid the fridge or read or surf the internet until the sun rose.

When Marie stayed over, though, this was not an option. He was glad to have her there—he had told so her right before they drifted off— but at the moment she had him pinned. They were so entangled, there was so much of their skin touching, practically all he could move was his eyes.

Eli studied the stucco on the ceiling, carving the big shapes into smaller ones, remembering the day they had just spent together: the park, a museum, and an interesting Portuguese shop that was on his street a mile down the road. His thighs, tired from walking, touched hers along their entire length.

His shoulder cramped now from her head pressing into it, and he made a subtle move to shift her weight up a bit. She complied in her sleep, and after the sudden stab of pins and needles as his arm came back to life, he laid his hand over her hip. Her mouth was closer to his ear now, invisible amongst all her curls, and in her regular breathing he could now and then just hear the smallest whimpers and moans. The scent of her hair colored the darkness around them.

The sound and the smell and the feeling of her wide hip caused him to stir. His dick gave a jump, with energy it had impatiently stored away, since the two of them had undressed completely but, in their exhaustion, simply fallen asleep with no release. Eli felt his energy come back to him as well, and in the darkness he watched his right hand begin to gently caress up and down her side and buttocks. He was gentle though—he began to want something from her, but he wasn't yet ready to ask for it.

Soon after, she shifted herself, with the lightest press of her mound into his thigh, her head turning more towards him, then a bit less, and finally settling in the same place. Eli held his breath. After a few minutes, he brought his left hand up and slowly brought some hair out of her face. He held his hand still for a moment while he looked at her, before gently placing it on her shoulder, his fingers idly rubbing over her hair as he pondered what he could make out in the low light.

Marie was often so animated in the daytime, and her eyes so engrossing, that Eli found he'd hardly considered her face itself. She was beautiful, there was no doubt, her cheeks soft on the bottom and edged on top, lips parted almost imperceptibly. Every part of her looked at the same time so specifically shaped, in such a determined way, and yet allover soft around the edges. His eyes traveled down to where his right hand was disappearing and appearing again from behind her hip. They were just wide enough they could neatly occupy his entire brain, like a boulder blocks a stream, leaving no room for anything else.

A little while after, she began to move again: her hands, her legs, adjusting, sliding, with a bit of change in her breath before settling. Not knowing if she was waking herself, and not quite ready to impose his desire and wake her, Eli still responded each time, gently, his hands and eyes loving her in the darkness. Was she there? No...maybe? It was probably nothing yet.

Yet somehow, with no real communication, out of that nothing came something. A quiet game of back and forth arose between them, Eli and Marie reacting softly to each other, posing questions with their bodies, not quite giving answers with their touch. No words confirmed their play, but Eli felt her thoughts through her body's movement and pressure, as she gently pulled her mind out of sleep and into his arms. Eli didn't know if she was going to want him, or if she was even awake enough to want, but he was happy to be with her all the same.

As they caressed, his lips brushed her forehead, hers his neck, and between her legs Eli began to feel warmth, and wet, and now he knew for certain she was there with him. Again his penis stirred, just barely getting a touch from the side of her thigh. A bead of pre-cum swelled at its tip, and began to spill over. It ached as it stretched, needing someone to grasp it soon.

Eli turned his body towards her, and she turned towards him, and after several faltering movements, they met in a kiss. They kissed twice again, in a small and sweet way, and caressed each other's bodies for a moment.

Eli and Marie had been dating for a few months now, but she wasn't yet living with him. It was a pleasant affair, the kind that began innocently and was deepening steadily, without great fanfare. It was the kind of relationship where Eli could think of no real faults, no huge disagreements between them or their worlds, and so could not yet foresee any calamitous end. Without any real plans, he could see them going on indefinitely, which was a first for him.

Marie came over most weekends—her room was tiny, and filled with plants, which seemed impractical to Eli, but she got something very deep from caring for them. By contrast, he had almost no connection to anything in his large room, as he was subletting it for half a year and the furniture wasn't his. When Marie was here, though, Eli felt the space became a bit more welcoming.

Still, he often awoke when she was over, for it was a hot room in the summer, especially with a body on him, and if she woke too they often kissed and stroked for a few minutes. But just as often they both couldn't muster the energy to make love, and so they passed out once again. So even as Eli brought his mouth to hers again, and even as his dick pulsed for attention at her side, he did not have any expectations. Sometimes holding each other was enough.

This time, though, Marie met his mouth with force, surprising him with her tongue and the passion that pushed it. She inhaled a little sharply, and as Eli closed his eyes and rubbed her buttocks she reached down for his dick, finally, warming it with her hand. And now her desire was on the table, plainly stated. Just holding each other was not going to be enough, and Eli felt that now he could put his desire on her. So as she moved her leg around him, Eli swung himself on top of her.

He ground his pelvis in, and Marie sucked in her breath. Their lips found each other, found each others' necks, and as she traced all her fingers down his back, and he wound all his fingers through her hair.

Marie begged, pleaded with her body, and Eli understood how much she needed him to make love to her by the way she pressed against him. His dick was getting coated by their rocking, first gently, now more insistent, and his pre-cum was almost dripping down, hanging by a thread. He thought about grabbing a condom from the dresser across the room, but he could not bring himself to break the moment. At the same time, they had always used protection up to this point, so he could not bring himself to place his dick inside her yet.

Marie was on birth control—because her mother had children young, Marie was very cautious. Eli, too, was not ready for a child, so they used condoms as an extra layer of protection. The feeling of her skin on his, however, was overpowering, and Eli's desire grew until it eclipsed the warnings from somewhere else in his mind.

Now they were in a stalemate. Both Eli and Marie wanted something, to put it in raw, to take just a bit of a risk, to step up the game one more level, but neither knew what the other would want, or how to bring it up. Normally they talked a little while fucking, clarified what felt good and what needed adjusting, and always the option was there for one of them to say 'stop,' but tonight they were both silent. Neither one could be the one to propose this change out loud, to voice such a desire, and raise the risk of being shot down.

So Eli moved his hand down, to pose the question to her with touch.

He grabbed his dick, and rubbed it up and down her slit. She whimpered, and he heard her want and encouragement, and she wet his tip with the liquid coming from deep in her. She opened herself, and as he pulled his hips away and aligned his dick with her body, she answered by bringing her hips forward, enclosing the head, now signaling her desire, still not telling him in words, but no longer leaving doubt.

Eli understood, though. They were in this together. Their desire, they now discovered, was mutual, and it filled them completely, and pushed out any thought of stopping. The only thing that was, the thing they shared, was a drive to go inside, inside, to get him in her, so Eli slid his body down hers, moved his penis up, and placed the head in again, connecting them physically.

He couldn't believe the feeling. He was going to be all the way in her, with no condom in the way; nothing to interfere with their union. And sometime soon they were going to have to decide if he was going to cum inside her like that— but again, to avoid making the responsible decision, they did not address it.

As Eli patiently worked his way inside her, Marie's mouth opened silently with the feeling of her stretching insides, and it stayed open, poised to make a sound but struck silent. Slowly and gently he advanced; the one thing he did not want now was to kill the mood by moving hastily, and hurting Marie right in this moment where she was so vulnerable with him.

Finally, he bottomed out, and placed his forehead against hers as their hips aligned. They were closer than they had every been.

Her pussy walls holding his dick were astonishing. It nearly forced the breath out of his chest when she squeezed her walls on him, and he knew he hit home as Marie brought her legs around his back and let out a sigh of relief. With his arms wrapped around her, squeezing and loving her, and with his face now tucked against the side of hers, and as they both inhaled in each other's ears, he began to pull back just as gently as he arrived.

Eli's mind was dark, clouded entirely with his need, to be inside, to be as deep as he could be inside her and to put himself there over and over again. After a few minutes of getting adjusted, he began to picture their sex, indistinct at first. In his mind he saw her hips as he pressed himself back against them, and he saw his dick, naked, fully inside her, pushing it's way in, and then pulling back.

On they went, slowly, painfully slow. In, out, and together they silently agreed on different angles to place their hips, so that he rubbed her walls in different ways, so that he pressed himself against her clitoris. Normally, he would have taken his time with her clit, eating her out for as long as she could take it. Eli loved eating her, driving her wild, getting lost to everything and existing in a world of heat, of wetness, and her desire, a world made small by how her squeezing thighs blocked out sound, and her hands grasping his hair urged him on.

But she needed something different tonight, and Eli did too. Quiet, slow, close, hot. Neither one could speak and break the spell as their bodies rolled on.

Eli grabbed her neck with his mouth, a gentle nip, and brought his hands back to her buttocks. At first, so excited by their risky, quiet consensus to fuck bareback, he had to hold himself quite still for fear of ending early. Now though, he tilted her hips with his hands, and moved his body a little further down, so that he could put himself further inside her, deep, pushing himself as deep as he could go, and now with more force, all while rubbing himself against her clit.

Marie's mouth opened again, and her breathing quickened. To Eli, her need was clear. Their desire, shared, was to bring him deep, deeper, to pull him inwards. They kissed, hard, devouring each other's mouths as Eli's thrusts became more forceful. Could he come inside of her like this? Would she want that?

Her body answered. Yes, she would want that. Yes, she needed it. She wanted his cum inside of her, and she moaned her plea. Marie's legs held tight against his back, her body tightening under him, and Eli could feel her rolling, bucking against him, and he knew that he was hitting just the right spot. He could feel a tingling from the bottom of his spine, the beginning of the end, but as he drove himself towards it he held something back, trying to make sure she got there with him.

Marie's voice broke out of her throat, uncontainable, as she accelerated towards her peak. It was not quite a word, but it was a rallying cry for Eli. He met her hips with his, grinding, and his dick filled her and filled her, over and over.

Faster now, faster, till there was nothing left, no images, nothing but the inward drive of their action, and the feeling that poured outward. The world was just heat and motion and desire, no wider than their bodies, and it flowed like a fountain from the point where they joined. Harder and faster, still even harder, both of them driving in to her center, until Marie's voice, quiet and low at first, began it's characteristic step by step ascent. Her moans came out tighter and quicker until finally her body locked, and with her arms, and her legs, and her chin on his shoulder she pulled him with everything she had into herself.

Eli didn't stop, and continued to press on as Marie began to crest, quickly finding himself approaching the same point. As her first great moan flew out, and her body began to shudder and thunder, Eli felt his world, in image, sound, and feeling, burst open in an explosion of white.

His insides boiled out, his head swam, and his cum shot once, twice, three times, and then already an uncountable number, over and over, as the world collapsed into shapes and shards and piles, and he let out a gasp over Marie's lips as he brought his face close to hers again. His cum filled her, they had done it, and the warmth now came from within, as his seed slowly seeped into her.

His eyes opened to find hers staring back, right across the tiny space between them, looking surprised, spent, and then suddenly full of love. Her open mouth quivered into a smile at the corners, and they kissed and kissed, and pressed themselves together with a gentle force, unwilling to leave the moment, as elation made its way through their hearts and minds.

She was as full as she needed to be, she was as full as he needed her to be, and Eli and Marie slowly came back from that world of motion and pleasure to the dark room.

In the darkness, one could not tell where Eli ended and Marie began; they appeared as a single, indistinct shape.