The Shared Drive

"So you'll do it?"

"Dear God, you never let up do you. Are you related to my Mother?"

"She always gets her own way?"

"Yup!"

"Then yes, I'm your long lost cousin David. Look you can phone me anytime and we can talk through anything that comes up which you feel you can't deal with, OK?"

"You got me cornered Doc, OK! As long as you're available as my backstop I'll do it. Can I tell Ezz? I don't want her out of the loop, or Claire either."

"One of the things I always push is clarity, truth and trust."

"Where do I sign?"

"Ha! It's not that complicated, I'll just make it clear on her notes that you are her facilitator and that you can contact me anytime twenty-four / seven. Here can I have your phone and I'll put my number in."

I handed it over, unlocked and he quickly entered himself in my contacts. He shook my hand and said he had a ton of "stuff" to do, then he showed me the visitor room and I stretched out on a sofa and shut my eyes. He promised to let reception know I was here if Ezz came looking for me.

A hand shook me, I came too, opening my eyes, I saw Ezz kneeling next to me by the sofa a quirky grin on her face. Her face was an open book and I could see the happiness in her heart, a sparkle in her eyes and hear the uplift in her voice. She sat down as I straightened up. I yawned and she laughed out loud, a merry tinkling laugh, like a summer brook over stones. I smiled back at her. Apparently it was lunchtime and they wouldn't let her stay whilst they busied themselves attending to Claire.

She explained that Claire had a series of patient interviews and tests, and they suggested she leave and come back after seven, when the ward was closing for the night. She'd have an hour with her mum at best, but she said her mum was really tired already. I suggested lunch and she looked at me with a desire I only saw in teenagers when free food was offered. My kids had been the same, shopping no way, add a meal, and it was when do we start.

We left the hospital and I winced at the car park charges, when I paid for my ticket. Might try street parking later, although I knew that would probably be just as expensive. I headed out of town and found a nice Italian in a quiet corner of a little village south of where we lived. The building was an old pub which had been renovated a few years ago, retaining the outside benches and seating for the summer trade. The old pub sign has been replaced with the name of the restaurant in bold rainbow colours, as though painted by a large artists brush as a signature.

Inside it bore all the hallmarks of a traditional trattoria and we were led to a small table in the window. Since I was driving and Ezz was under age, we declined the wine menu and settled for bottled water and a large cola. Ezz was looking at the menu with a baffled quizzical eye. I waited a while and then looked at her as she lifted her eyes up.

"I've never done Italian before, I don't know what to have."

"What do you like. Tomatoey stuff, or sauce type dishes, with wine or cream? Are you into meat, or vegetarian food, do you fancy fish?"

"Yes, all that, it depends on my mood."

"What's your mood like now?"

"Starving!"

"Yeah, that helps, what do you fancy?"

"I like meatballs, do they do meatballs?"

"Number Twenty three, meatballs in a creamy tomato sauce, with herbs and garlic, served with a green salad."

"Where?"

"Ezz, it's on the other bit of paper, you're looking at the days specials."

"Sorry," She picked up the other slip of paper and after reading the description settled on the meatballs.

"You're OK. So twenty three and a fifteen."

"Fifteen, Osso Bucco? What's that?"

"Braised Veal Shanks, haven't had it..." I stopped; a tear flickered in the corner of my eye. I glanced away and sniffed. Finding my hankie, I coughed to cover myself trying to stifle a sob. Ezz looked at me with a worried frown.

"Jim are you OK? "

"Yeah, I sort got a bit emotional there. I haven't had it since my wife died. It was one of Molly's specialities, I saw it and forgot. How could I forget that?" I worried my lip with my tooth.

I sniffed again, then felt Ezz's hand hold mine. Suddenly I felt a little less hopeless, squeezing her hand back gently. The waiter came over and we ordered. The drinks arrived and the waiter poured my water, popped the cap on Ezz's cola then poured about a third of it into a pint glass filled with ice. Whilst we waited for the main course, they brought over a small board with different pieces of bread on it, some olive oil, balsamic vinegar and a few olives. Ezz grabbed a piece of bread and fed herself enthusiastically. I laughed and she grinned, her cheeks full of bread. She swallowed and jammed the glass of cola into her mouth, sucking down a good gulp. She sat back and I waited for the inevitable. Her eyes lit up and she belched loudly, rubbing her tummy and giggling.

I sighed theatrically but was laughing anyway. Robbie, my son, had perfected the long belch and he knew how irritated it made me, as well as embarrassing his mother. Louise meanwhile would be trying not to laugh out loud, her hand over her mouth, eyes wide and sparkling. Little things, I thought remembering the rhyme my mother had used when we misbehaved. Little things please little minds, little trousers fit little behinds. I used the wooden picks to spear an olive and chewed round the stone, Ezz gave me a filthy look and pulled a face.

"Not a fan Ezz?"

"Yuk!"

"Got it,"

"Good."

I speared another, she grabbed a piece of bread and stuffed it into her mouth, her eyes sparkling, as she reached for her cola.

"Don't!"

"Why?"

"You're embarrassing yourself." I said looking at her, staring her out.

"No Jim! I'm embarrassing you." She swigged the cola and waited staring back at me, an amused smile on her face. Then she erupted, it was a huge belch that came bursting out of her mouth, ten times louder than the first one. She grabbed her nose as the force of the blast expelled the air from her nostrils, tears flecked her eyes. I laughed at her discomfort, she reddened, and looked round to see if anyone else had heard. Luckily we were the only customers, but the waiters at the bar were smiling and whispering to each other.

"Oh My God! Jim I am so sorry, that was really embarrassing, as well as painful. Sorry, I won't do it again." She looked down at the tablecloth, which meant I could see even her ears were red.

We were saved from any further embarrassment by the arrival of the meals. I looked at my plate and felt my tummy rumble, my mouth actually watered. Ezz, looked at her plate in wonderment, eyes grazing over the plate. Picking up her knife and fork she stabbed a meatball and cut it in half, using her knife to ladle some of the sauce onto it. She popped it into her mouth and closed her eyes. Chewing slowly she savoured the portion. Her eyes opened and she flashed her lashes at me.

"Delicious," was all she said before returning her gaze to the plate and selecting some of the creamed spinach that accompanied it. Again she cut a small portion and popped it it, savouring the taste and feel of the vegetable. Nodding to herself she returned to her meatballs and prodded the remains of the one she had already eaten half of. Taking it up she again ladled the sauce onto it and slowly placed it in her mouth. I finally tried some of my Osso Bucco, which was very, very good. We remained silent as we demolished the meal on our plates. Finally, running her knife through what remained of the sauce, she placed it in her mouth and put it down and added her fork in the approved manner. Placing her hands in her lap she sat back with a contented look.

"Did you enjoy that?"

"Mmmm. It was gorgeous. Best meatballs ever."

"Good, well when they come to take the plates, shall we ask to see the dessert menu?"

"I don't think I can manage anything else Jim. My waistband's so tight." She patted her stomach gently and blew out her cheeks.

"OK, well we'll say no to dessert and just pick up the bill and head back home. Do you need to do any washing or pick anything up from your place?"

"I'll need to pick up some more clothes and I'll stick a load on at home. Won't take long."

"OK then, let's get the bill." I signalled the waiter and got the check. Five minutes later, after a loo break we headed out across the car park of the restaurant. I drove back home, passing fields and farm buildings, crossing the motorway that drove through our county east to west. Arriving back I parked on the drive and Ezz was out with her key in hand. Pausing at the front door to wave, she went inside.

I opened my door collected the post and sorted it as I went in, most would be going straight in the recycling box. I pottered around, tidying up and generally just using up time. Eventually after about forty minutes I settled down with my book and zoned out. I was really beginning to pick up the threads of the story when the bell chimed. I wandered out to the door and languidly opened it.

"Yes?"

"Any old rags mister?"

I looked at Ezz and laughed, she had on a boating hat and carried a duffel bag, which looked heavy.

"I'm collecting for the aged, no wait, do you want to have a look see if there's anything you might want?"

"Get in you towrag," I laughed as she skipped past me with the bag over her shoulder.

"I took you at your word Jim, I've got a weeks worth here is that OK?"

"Of course, now here's a thought, do you want to grab anything for Claire, sorry your Mum?"

"Oh! Yeah, that would be good, so like, toothbrush, toothpaste, clean undies, nightdress, slippers, a jumper, Her book..."

"Whoah, whoah, easy tiger. Yes clean nightdress, bathroom stuff, a jumper, slippers, some socks perhaps. Err, ladies things, you know."

"OK on it, see you shortly,"

"Don't call me shorty!"

"What! I don't get it?"

"You've never seen Airplane, or Police Squad have you?"

"What? Is that like in black and white?"

"Go get your Mum's stuff!"

I heard her giggling as she left to go back to her house, shutting the door and shaking my head. Ezz was back in ten minutes a small zip bag in her hands. I raised an eyebrow, she pulled her fingers across her lips and threw the imaginary zip away. Her eyes had mischief in them and she was smiling. It was a positive change from yesterday, long may it continue. After the lunch we had, neither of us felt hungry so at around six fifteen we left for the hospital. Traffic was lighter compared to this morning and we made good time.

A a lot of people were leaving, as visiting hours were drawing to a close. We found the ward and were buzzed in. I let Ezz go into Claire and stood by the nurses station, waiting for the gap in their conversations then told them I would be in the visitors room waiting for Ezz. They all seemed to know who I was and why I was here. I wandered along and sat going through my mail on my phone. There was a message from Robbie, asking if I wanted to come up in a fortnights time. I answered yes but said I needed to talk to him. I had an idea to take Claire and Ezz, to get them away from their problems for a few days. Somewhere different. Robbie lived on the edge of the Malvern hills and it was glorious scenery around there.

After about fifteen minutes, Ezz appeared and asked me to go and see Claire, apparently she wanted to talk to me. I went along with a sense of trepidation. Inside the room Claire appeared brighter, she was sitting up and her complexion was certainly better than twenty four hours ago. She had obviously had a shower and her hair had been washed, she had on a nightdress and a cardigan. Her shoulder length brunette hair was held up in a simple ponytail by a rainbow scrunchy. Her smile was beautiful, her mouth opening as it reached the far corners of her face. Her eyes were a deep lustrous blue and there was a sparkle in them.

"Jim, or should I say Clark Kent?"

"Shhh! No one must know, it's our secret Lois," I winked and sat down at her bedside. She laughed a proper heartfelt laugh, full of joy and happiness. Wow this was a total turnaround from the lifeless body we had found forty eight hours ago. As she let the laugh go, she reached forward and held my hand,

"Thanks Jim, you're really a lifesaver," She smiled and every puddle in the area must have dried up with the heat and light she gave out. I sat back her hand in mine. I fussed over her knuckles, rubbing them gently with the pads of my fingers.

"You really need to thank your daughter, she called the ambulance and asked me to help."

"Some people would have turned away Jim." Her face went from light to dark, happy to sad. I held her hand tightly.

"I'm sure if the situation was reversed you'd do exactly the same for me. It's what neighbours are for."

"I thought they were there to throw the balls back?" Ezz said from behind me.

"Quiet, grown ups talking."

Ezz blew a raspberry, very loudly we all laughed.

"Ezz behave," Claire rebuked mildly.

"Yeah behave, shorty,"

Ezz gasped and punched me on the arm, I grimaced and held the other arm, "That hurt," I said pretending to cry. Claire gripped my hand.

"Both of you behave!" She said firmly, trying not to laugh. Ezz and I didn't even try not to laugh. Claire smiled and holding my hand, lay back her arm resting on the bed cover.

"You make me tired just watching you," she sighed.

"Claire, I need to ask you this; Ezz is staying with me, are you all right with that, I mean do you feel safe knowing where she is?"

"Jim, that's not a problem at all. I feel better knowing that she's with you. We don't know each other very well, but you always come across as a nice guy. I couldn't feel better than knowing you're there for her."

"I'm here for you too you know. I understand you come as a package and I want to do whatever I can to get you home with your wonderful daughter, as soon as it can be arranged."

"Thank you, thank you very much. I know I have a lot of problems Jim and I'm in a strange place at the moment. Things may go up or down, but at least I know Esme is safe and I can concentrate on getting well again."

"That's all you need to concentrate on at the moment."

Her eyes, welled up and tears began to roll down her cheeks. I don't know why but I leaned forward and kissed her cheeks, almost as if I was trying to kiss the tears away. As I did so, Ezz gave a little gasp behind me then her small hand held my shoulder and she leaned in and held her head to my back. Claire's hand tightened on mine. I smiled and nodded slightly. Her hand drew mine back to her lap and she sighed.

"You're a good man Jim, I couldn't ask for a better neighbour."

"Careful what you wish for," I said, as Ezz eased away from me.

I stood and released Claire's hand, sensing Ezz at my side. I reached for her and passed her hand to Claire's. As I slipped out of the chair, Ezz slid into the space, holding Claire's hand fiercely.

"Chairs lovely and warm Jim, what a hot..." I tousled her hair.

"Watch it junior," I admonished cutting through her words, but with no malice and a grin. Looking at Claire I winked,

"I'll see you later, after the kids have gone to bed." I ruffled Ezz's head again and exited the room to their tinkling laughter.

Dodge was outside, walking down the corridor, he slowed and stopped, his face a picture of relief and satisfaction.

"Jim, how are you doing?"

"Good Doc, really good; do you have five minutes?"

"For you, certainly, give me two ticks and I'll be all yours."

Striding away he went to the nurses station and had a conversation with a young nurse who was obviously keen to listen. A few minutes later he walked back and we made our way to the privacy of the relatives room.

"OK Jim, I'm all ears."

"Doc, I've been thinking about what you said. You know helping Claire and all that, I'll do it. You see I lost my wife a while back and to a large extent, I've been cutting myself off from the world, not wanting to take part in anything."

"You now feel ready to re-enter the fray?"

"Kind of; it's just she looks so lost and things aren't easy for her. I have time on my hands and... well I just want to help."

"Jim that's brilliant, you won't regret this, trust me. Claire knows that she needs help, but more than anything she needs a reason to continue with her life."

"I can see that, I don't want to see her or Ezz parted again. I need to do this, to help her recover, lead a normal life. I know she'll be fragile, for some while, possibly forever, but I want to do something to help; I need this. I don't know why but I want to do something positive with my life."

"Knight in shining armour syndrome?"

"Hah! Probably, thanks for listening Doc."

"You're welcome Jim, well you know where I am if you need me?"

"I sure do, by the way, do you know when Claire will be able to go home?"

"Funny you should mention that. We've a case conference for Claire later today. With your assistance I'll be recommending that she be allowed home at the Weekend, but she will need help for the following few days to re-establish herself. She's going to rely on you massively."

"I'm ready for that, Ezz will be so happy to have her mum home."

"Well on that point, what would you say if I asked that she stay with you for a couple of days, then ease back into living at home?"

"Well that's a surprise, but if she'll agree then OK, Ezz is already staying at my place, I have another room, or they can share the bed, it's up to them. Can I tell them?"

"OK, sure, I don't foresee a problem on release; that's settled then, it may be a bit weird at first, but I'm sure you can deal with it. Be upbeat for here, get her to tackle some of the little things she needs to settle, but support her if she's looking like she's not coping. Don't do it for her but get her to see another way of doing it. Give her confidence and just be there for her."

"No pressure then?"

"You'll ace it, I can tell."

"Thanks, I think?"

Dodge rose and clapped me on the shoulder, then ambled away in his easy gait. I stayed in the room for a while giving Ezz and Claire time. Finally with a deep sigh I stood and walked back to the room where they were. Inside Claire was talking in a low voice, urging Ezz to do something. I walked over and placed a hand on the chair back where Ezz sat.

"Mum wants me to go back to school, she thinks I'm missing too much."

"I agree with your mum, however, I think you'll concentrate better, if Claire were at home with you."

"Thanks Jim, I'd love to go home, but they're not saying anything about it at the moment. I feel so useless."

"Hey you're not useless, you just need a little rest and recuperation. Take your time, soon you'll be up and around. Shouting at Ezz to get up for school, washing clothes and cooking meals, you see."

"God you make it sound so easy and attractive."

"We both know that's not true, but at least we can imagine."

"I'm imagining lunch soon."

"Quiet child, or I'll make you eat..."

"Rice pudding," Claire said with a laugh.

"Really you don't like rice pudding?"

"I hate it, detest it, it's awful."

"Well then, I know what I'll be buying this week."

"Don't you dare Jim!"

"Stop it the pair of you, you're making my sides hurt." Claire had a smile on her face.

I knelt down by the bed, taking a hold of their clasped hands.

"Look it's not agreed yet, but there's a chance that you could be out by the weekend. If it does happen, I'd like you to stay at my place for a few days. Kind of ease you back in. Look on it as a mini break, with benefits. Free board and lodging, company, a ridiculously large bed in a stupidly small room. Your daughter for cuddling up to at night. Me to talk to, that sort of thing."

"Jim that sounds perfect. Are you sure you want the trouble?"