All Comments on 'The Shift That Changed My Life'

I gave this story 5 stars because of its realistic approach to a fucked up situation. This story reflected how real life human beings react to difficult situations. Granted, the cop/husband was very understanding, more so than I could have been; however, who knows how they would respond to a situation until you experience it personally.

A very good first story for you mate well done.After what Lisa was getting up to behind husbands back ,you did very well to build up sympathy for her.I must admit through I don’t think I could of overlooked her actions like MC did ,it was just to much but I definitely wouldn’t do a btb either she was clearly broken .I know those videos you were inspired by I’m pretty sure they are staged but even so they do get you thinking what if …

Good story especially for a first time writer. I do like how the story changed from what could have been a BTB to a more sympathetic RAAC. Not sure how many people could do that, I couldn't but that's me.

Excellent story, very well done.

I've no problem at all understanding the understanding that our MC showed in the face of mental illness. Mental illness is like any other, nobody asks for it, nobody deserves it, it is the most painful and unwelcome visitor, I've suffered it so I speak from long experience.

Personally I understand the causes in my own case and am grateful for the support I've had over the years. I've met many people who will never understand it, I tell them I hope they never do as the only way they will is to experience it.

Keep writing, thank you for a well told story.

Congratulations and thank you. A well crafted story and I echo the comments of others regarding the reality of mental illness . Fortunately we are becoming more open to talking about such things and your story is a contribution to that. I look forward to reading more of your work.

This is a good story and believable in context. It is only quite short but you make your main characters more than just "cardboard cutouts", which is not easy to do, and you handle a complex situation sympathetically. Thank you for posting it.

Good first story. You should consider developing the internal feelings of the MC as he first discovers the infidelity and then after accessing her phone and the additional revelations contained therein. I fould it unbelievable that a police officer would not have anger issues after catching his wife in this situation. Keep up the good work.

Very enjoyable. Plus, it’s funny that this story is more real than the videos you referenced.

Good first story. I appreciate the author sharing with us.

Way too simplistic on them staying together. Oh, you were depressed that's why you cheated on me multiple times? It's ok honey, I love you let's get you some help. ... even in a fictional story that's not realistic or believable.

I doubt I could be as understanding as the MC. Nice clue in checking app downloads. I hadn't seen that in a story before

A VERY understanding husband. She still kept secrets about the guy.

a little stereotypical but I think you did well for a first attempt. Some readers will have a problem with the cheating and ease at which he took her back.

suggestions, up the drama of the cheating actions a little (maybe a little description, such as he hadn't noticed there was a woman in the car until he saw her head come up from the driver's lap after he flashed his lights to pull them over) , fill in some gaps like a bit of the counselling to show they are on the way to reconciliation, have the husband be able to get his "pound of flesh" even if it is just verbal, show the wife has true remorse. All of that before the child services visit. that visit had maybe too much drama and with her mental./depression issues, it will tough to convince a reader that they'd be able to foster and/or adopt children. Maybe they simply adopt the same children later and the parent's deaths are their backstory.

Not bad. Keep trying!

good story for a first time

I liked the rationality and care of the husband. A very humane person. And someone who clearly has Aristotlean virtue.

Great first story.. Hope to read more from you in the future. One question though. Since when do stories in Loving Wives leave one somewhat choked up..... 5*

Original -- I like original.5*

His forgiveness was a little too quick. She not only went off the deep end with the cheating, but immediately ran to the guy. That is a bit much to swallow. The cheating was bad enough you did not have to compound it.

The story was well written though so 4 stars.

Decent story with a fairly unique plot. I'll have to look up those YouTube videos. However, I felt the husband was too unemotional over all this. You could have delved into that a lot more. Still, a good story. 4*

Good job great first story.

Excellent first story. 5*

This had a great premise I thought, but the execution of the story was awful. Fiction is by definition, not real, but this isn't science fiction or fantasy. People are supposed to act in some general sense the way they would in reality. No explanation was offered why the husband would stay w/ this serial cheater, other than "he really loved her". Trust is a key element of any loving relationship (just read almost any other story on this website). She cheated b/c she didn't feel her husband would love her if she couldn't get pregnant? The ending part about taking in children was not too bad from a technical standpoint, as children services will look for "kinship" placements, especially if such facilitates keeping sibs together. However, that part is unnecessary as one must put aside that this couple's relationship seems doomed as she is not a trustworthy partner.

The start was good and original. But then...

Unless police lied in their supporting affidavits, no judge would issue a search warrant just so a cop could identify who his wife ran off with. There is no crime. Nor could police break into a person’s apartment merely because a cop’s wife decided to visit.

The explanation for the wife cheating makes no sense, even for a deluded individual.

Foster story is a bit fairly-tale.

Congratulations on submitting your first story. Coming up with an original tale in LW is not easy. I have seen a couple of the cop videos catching the cheating wife, had to be hard for the guy to remain professional. The mental illness angle complicates his response, let’s hope she doesn’t have continuing problems.

Good first story. Hope to see more from you in the future.

Not bad for a first effort. It did feal a bit like a paint by numbers story IMHO.

Thanks for posting.

Keep 'em coming.

Giving this 5 stars. I went through a major depression after losing my son (stillbirth). I became extremely self destructive, mainly just to feel something other than utter despair. Wonderfully written story!

Okay, I thought as I started to read that I would be torn as to whether or not the M/C should keep her or lose her. Then the story took a twist. and what a twist, The Bear loves it. 6 stars, because even I write better than this. (Sorry) But I love happy endings. And you hit it on the head. Stand-up guy, woman remorseful, new kids, redemption. Perfect Christmas Story. Great first shot. And in the big leagues!! ("Loving Wives"- if you can make it here, you can make it anywhere.) Welcome, friend. More, please. Keep writing, and work on your style. The Bear approves.

The BEAR

Pretty good for a first timer, something I'm on the threshold of doing. Thanks for the inspiration! Now I'm going to be thinking that there's one guy sitting at a bar somewhere with some friends of his saying, "Guys, you're not going to believe this but.....

Good job for your first story. Well written, good dialogue and good pace.

Looking forward to seeing more from you.

Good job on your first post. I have the story a 3. While I thought the story was well crafted, I'm not a fan of instant reconciliation.

well done

Good first story!

5

5 4 u

1. The police officer pulls over a car and speaks to the driver, followed by

"As he is getting that together I notice the woman sitting beside him. She looks a bit nervous and is looking away. She sort of looks familiar. I ask if she is OK and she nods.

I take the paperwork back to my car and run him one more time through the system. He is still clean. As I am about to get out of the car, I realise where I know the woman from."

He sees a woman that looks familiar, then a minute later realizes where he recognizes her from. It is his wife?????????????

This strikes me as simply lying to the reader. Nowhere has it said he didn't get a good look at the woman, just that she looked familiar. I think this is a mistake on the part of the author.

The chances of being permitted to foster a year after Lisa's dangerous behaviour seems to me to be essentially zero.

I made the error of not checking the tags before reading, likely as so many writers don't tag or at least accurately tag their stories. I absolutely hate instant reconciliations, could see these circumstances leading to a very surprising reconciliation 6 months or a year down the road if everything fell perfectly into place but as it is this one makes no sense to me. On the hand, you will always find an audience on this site for RAAC stories and to your credit you correctly tagged it.

So the wimp forgives the crazy wife and then compounds his problems by adding kids to the mix. Not in my world. 1*

I would say way better than average for a first story. Please keep writing and, if I were you, I wouldn't be concerned about the lack of sex in your stories. Most times, it's pretty poorly written without doing much to help the story. I feel that the implication is actually better.

Decent writing, husband accepted shocking behaviour from wife with scarcely a whimper. Highly implausible....

Reconciliation is the most difficult task in Literotica. The loving wife crowd is very judgmental. However, I liked the story and the drama and I thought the explanations were reasonable. The fact that you have so many comments is a good sign that you can become a good writer. Fix the logical inconsistencies and slow down the tempo a bit and I think your writing will improve.

I loved the ending 5 stars

What a cuck

A worthy first effort.

As with many LW stories several convenient events conspire to make the story..

Would a police department react to a "missing person" situation as robustly as portrayed.

Good job for a first story, keep up the good work.

You might have an easier time with writing if you picked subjects and surroundings you had some understanding of.

It was well written, but the MC is a moron. There's alot more there than to calmly send her on her way, initially, with her date and what he found on her phone would call for a mental and drug eval, not sending her home with sister and calling it a night. I don't know any officer, or man for that matter, who would react to a cheating slut like this one did.

Good concept for a story. As a writer, the story to my eye needs a little more building as to characters, the way Lisa slips away from her sisters, etc it was a little superficially written over. Some places it is a little confusing too as the story skips along at a pace that easily can confuse the reader. For a first attempt an plot you get a 5 star from me.

"I love you and didn't want to lose you so when I found out I couldn't have kids I started fucking around because that was the best way I came up with not to lose you." I'm sure all the "enlighten" folks will love this "rescue" story, but hubby is an idiot and she's nothing more than a cheating skank slut. What will she do when life gets tough again? Maybe an all out gangbang next time? She's a whore and he's a sissy wimp cuck.

No not for me

Couldn't really feel sympathy for her, sorry, she purposely went back to her abuser, that was on her, she never thought to speak to her husband. Communication is key, but having extramarital relationships is not, the fact she texted her abuser just said it all. Rather than staying with the sister and explaining things, then maybe, but she purposely went back to Tim, not really worth it, in my opinion.

I usually like a good BTB ending but then thought about the "in sickness and in health" in our wedding vows. Mental or physical, illness will put a strain on a relationship. How far down the path can you go before it gets to be too much? I hope I never have to find out.

A good story, made me think about "what if"

Excellent first effort! Truly a well woven storyline!

Thank you for your efforts!

🌟🌟🌟🌟

Real good story. Reconciliation like this will piss off the BTB children, but they’re horrible people anyway.

Very well done. Also, very believable.

Yeah. Not buying the reconciliation but interesting plot device.

I've seen those videos too but I doubt they had a glossed over RAAC like this as a result.

A simple, good story. Four stars is not enough. Five.

JPB

Nope

No way. No, no way. She’s just a slut who is not being honest.

Solid story. Looks like a mix of Youtube videos, as mentioned, and a subplot of the tv show, The Rookie. Good story, good pacing and character development. I liked the fact that the MC got family involved to help with the crisis. Ut was a practical and realistic touch. I look forward to other stories.

"She sort of looks familiar." - His WIFE "sort if looks familiar?"

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"And frankly he is just an innocent party on a date." - I like this. So many stories want to beat on the other guy, when he wasn't the cheater.

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"Based on their messages, it was the first date." - Yet they were going back to the guy's place.

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"they did a couple of things that Lisa and I had only talked about doing, but Lisa had shot down." - Sigh. Why do cheaters not only do things with the lovers that they don't do with their husbands, but that they WON'T do with them.

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"Because I deserved it..." - She might have deserved the abuse, but why did she do the things that brought on the abuse.

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When they rescued Lisa, what follows, "The Paramedic said," is dialog, and should be in quotes. Then you narrated asking Mary to go with her, then repeated it as dialog.

Thank you, very good for a first time.

One's mind is a very powerful thing, and let's you often act irrationally, and only a clear-headed third party can often put one back onto the 'right' path

Couples counseling?? Seriously? She was the one who lied, deceived her husband, and cheated. Then runs away from all help to the guy who abuses her. And her husband accepts all that? "It's okay, honey, for cheating on me and getting your kicks and lumps from another, putting me in danger of getting an STD, and wrecking our marriage. You were depressed." No way and no how. A solid 3.

5 little gold pointy things for a job well done - especially for a first timer.

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I noticed after reading through the other comments that some people focus on the forsaking all others part but overlook the in sickness and in health part of the vows. In this case the protagonist is definitely a good guy looking to solve the problem, not just looking to get rid of her.

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OG46

A good first attempt

You write well. This story idea was good. However….the plot moved too fast. The explanations for Lisa’s behavior were too thinly presented. And hubby’s ability to get past it all was too easy.

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That said — good job and please keep at it!

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4 ****

A lot happens in a very short period of time. 5***** but you might think about slowing down a little.

There is a middle ground between RAAC and BTB. Wife got off too easy. Note this does not mean I wanted her sold to a Mexican whore house.

You write VERY well. Keep going.

The husband had to have been a saint. I found this a bit hard to swallow.

Good first effort. Beginner's 5.

?

That was one understanding man. He accepted her excuses and the RAAC was much to quick and easy.

That was rough...she cheated on him at least 4x. Then gets caught and does a runner to her liver and still he took her back. Yikes...can you say doormat?

It's good. Not going to lie you need an editor. Your story is nice it just doesn't flow.

Okay, your writing is not too bad, will get better and better I predict. Now the premise, that love conquers all is not so good. And the counselling trap is just that. Counsellors don't seem to want to get to the seat of the problem for any reason but to find excuses why the actor did what they did and help the to see that it was alright for them to do because they were either pre-destined to do it or it is their partner's fault for some reason. The fact that the wife wouldn't talk to her husband and actually did a runner on him shows me that she was pre-destined to do what she did. Or was really fucked up and needed to be as single as she could possibly be.

Good job on your first story! Congratulations!! BRB

I have not seen those YouTube videos, so that line-"Have a good time and if you could do me a favour, please

make sure my wife gets home safely after your date" really shocked me and was not expecting that situation at all.

I hope the 2 MCs are able to love each other and learn to love and parent those two little babies-eye twinkles

all around.

Good effort CP....

dare

Afraid depression is not just cause for her actions. No need for revenge. She will die a slow death.

Nice change on the cheating wife category. Hope to read more of your stories in the future.

Structurally and grammatically well done, especially for a first effort. Unfortunately the premise is fucking utterly ridiculous. The wife's actions are of such a hateful nature any love or compassion would be destroyed. The writer having the cop husband declare unconditional love for this hateful destructive bitch is just not believable. Social services doesn't give children to mentally unstable people.

I loved the story. Happy ending for all involved….except for the drug abusers.

Excellent first story, 10 stars! Could another chapter be in order to tell how their lives came out?

So he is a saint and they let women with mental health issues foster children?

Too much fantasy for me.

the premise was good. I spent 20 years in the navy and I do know that not all men would dump her have seen some stay with the wife because "they really love her". everyone looks at situations differently depending on the variables

Very enjoyable. I thought the ending a bit abrupt but that did not detract from a good story.

Thank you all for the feedback. I am reading each and every comment. The complements, encouragement and criticism are very appreciated. I have a couple of stories in the pipe. will take your feedback to heart as I work on them.

Very nice. Welcome aboard!

Sorry but she cheated. End of story. BTB and get rid of her. Absolutely no cause for a RAAC. Of course, this would kill off the rest of your story. But that's just how I feel about it. 100% Cheaters are scum and ALWAYS need to be treated as such. 2*

It was a beautiful story.

Full of love and forgiveness.

Just the ending, it dropped off abruptky.

Could have added a lovely scene of the family happy together.

/

Thank u @CurrentParameter.

Well, for a first effort it wasn't bad. Good potential with this author .... but .....

I like a believable story, whether a burn or a reconciliation, but there is absolutely NO earned forgiveness in this tale. She did nothing to warrant absolution, and in fact, the author did not elicit much empathy for either character, so it lacks believability.

The author started on a very high note, the discovery was excellent and set up some great intrigue, but then it went south into auto-forgiveness.... no real explanation or exploration.

Don't take this as a slam, I'm hoping to provide some constructive criticism. Keep writing.

Decent report but not much of a story

Good yarn and I gave you 4*

Your prose is a little list-like and a bit mechanical - but in a first story that is nit-picking… the 4* are real.

I'm not sure I'd be able to do like the m/c did. 1 guy short term maybe, but 5 guys over months? she was depressed? she needed to feel a connection? she made a choice no matter the reason. it's not a mistake it takes direct actions to go on an app and meet 5 guys. a guy cheated and said it was because he was depressed the world would agree when the wife kicks him out and takes everything, but a woman is depressed and its a pass.

The husband was a saint. The wife recovered and lapsed too quickly but then I considered the story was well told and didn't [pontificate or doddle. The next story use the same direst approach, but give some more interesting background on the M/C's

Who would be stupid enough to stay with that used up hoe, maybe your father

Wow, she suffers mental illness and the state thinks she's an OK foster and adoptive parent? Does that tell you how fucked up the government is at running things?

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She pursued men for sex, gets caught fucking around, and abandons her husband and her marriage so she can hook up with a drug addict who physically abuses her. All because she discovers she can't naturally birth children; boo fuckin' hoo. And this mental dysfunction is cured with some counseling? Too absurd to even discuss intelligently. Anyone who thinks this is a heart warming story has shit for brains, and deserves the fucked up lives they most likely live.

You write very well so keep writing.

Reconciliation was a bit too easy but at least I didn't see 'And my cock grew hard as I thought about her with the guy.'

Gave ya a 5 just to start you.

Well done on posting your first story. Don't worry too much about the 'mistakes'... When I think of all the mistakes I made in my first story - Groan .. If I can offer one bit of advice don't mix your tenses.

They have been married for 18 months, she's a bit unhappy about not being able to have any kids so she goes out with 5 different men and one of them knocked her about a bit but there's nothing a bit of councilling won't cure. What a load of bollocks.

You need to put a cuck tag so we don’t waste our time reading. Maybe the MC can pick out better dating apps for his wife. Then he can clean her up when she gets home the next afternoon.

Although I like retribution, I also appreciate kindness. compassion for her cheating is probably beyond my ability, but this is a story about someone else - and it's well written. Thank you.