Oblivion & Doubt Ch. 12

She thought about the dream and the sound of Miranda cumming. Remembered feeling of her dream self being between her thighs. Leethie was touching herself, she hadn't shaved in weeks, the soft hair of her bush was damp. The smell of fear filling her nose. She was weeping.

"That was your father, they're at the hotel. It sounds like everyone is there - including the Senator from Massachusetts."

She recognized the teasing tone in her mother's voice, but Leethie was distracted. She had been looking for clear adhesive gel pads, to protect her already injured heels from her new shoes, when she stumbled on her stash of Miranda-tapes. There were at least a dozen. Leethie stared at them. The love-worn tapes that traveled across the country and back with her, that she'd listened to so obsessively. Tucked along one edge of the box was Miranda's notes.

She touched them with a shaking finger, not needing to open them and look inside. She had memorized them all, could see the fine script in her mind's eye; the stabby little hearts.

"I love you so. Yours always, Punk Rock Beauty Queen." Read the one on top.

"He must be set to lay an egg!" Leethie's mother laughed behind her, too loud. She sounded nervous, her giddiness forced. Leethie looked down at her wrist, it had healed but still ached, the three vertical scars showed scarlet under her bracelets. She remembered her mother's howl, her father lifting her out of the tub. She remembered the shock of waking up in the hospital. She remembered the way her heart had leapt when her mother told her she had a VERY special visitor waiting to see her.

Leethie squeezed her eyes shut, willed the tears away, calmed her heart and breathing. She looked up and saw Bobbie looking at her; worry in her eyes. Bobbie, who had taken her in her arms when she arrived unexpectedly and in tears. Bobbie, who had hushed and comforted her without asking why or pressing for details. Bobbie, who had taken her on walks and fielded the calls from her mother. Bobbie, her great guardian. Why had she ever left Sea Ranch? Why had she come back to Texas? She forced herself to smile at her Godmother.

"He's like a schoolgirl," Leethie told her mother, without looking away from Bobbie.

Her father had been so excited and nervous about meeting the senator, aka "Uncle Dicky," it was practically all he had talked about for weeks. Leethie pushed the box back under the bed and pulled out another, still looking for the adhesive pads. She pictured her father in the hotel bar drinking whiskey with Dicky, and laughing at all his jokes. She forced herself to smile at her mother.

"I swear, it's as if this was the whole reason he's happy you're getting married!" Her mother said in mock disapproval.

Leethie found the box of pharmacy junk she was looking for and began rooting through it.

"Well it's going to be a long week if that's all he'll talk about," Leethie admitted, pulling out the little gel pads.

"Hey, everyone is waiting. Are you ladies almost ready?"

Leethie looked up to see Thom in the doorway. He was in a blazer and tie, he'd shaved. His close-cropped hair shone with some sort of product.

"Oh, Thom, you look wonderful!" Leethie's mother gushed. Leethie thought of his arrival shortly at the hospital, so obviously engineered with the help of her parents. How long had he been talking to them? She thought of his pursuit of her. She had given him nothing. Told him their game was over but he wouldn't quit, still wouldn't quit. Leethie fought back a black rage at the sight of him. She wanted to scream until there was nothing left. She saw Bobbie studying her. Leethie smiled. She watched herself getting up to hug him as if from great distance.

"Almost," she lied.