The Story of "Cue"

Brief pause, and I about hung up due to that tell-tale robocall type lag, but I could actually hear a deep breath being let out.

As I was getting ready to say "Hello" again, a woman's voice said, "Hi, Mick. This is Ally, Angela's daughter."

"Well hello, Ally. It's good to finally talk to you."

There was again a pause from her end so I offered, "It took some guts to make this call and if you've got guts, you're going to get through any other issues that may confront you in life just fine."

"Thanks," she replied in a way that left the conversation hanging again.

So I continued with, "I have a lot of care and respect for your mother and she seems to think us meeting is a good idea. So I'm happy to do so. But I want you to understand and agree that anything and everything that happens past that is because you and I want to do it, not anyone else. Including your mother."

"Can we agree on that?" I asked her.

"Very much so," she replied with what sounded like relief.

"Good," I continued, "The next thing is that there is zero obligation from either of us in this. You decide it's over, it's over. I decide the same. It's over. Are we good with that?"

"Absolutely," she replied with what sounded like even greater relief and some confidence.

"Great!" I said, "then I so look forward to meeting you simply because your mom is a great person and if you're anything like her we can at a minimum be friends and I'm happy to be a resource for you as you live out here."

"Let me ask you this," I forged on, "do you have a close relationship with a roommate, teammate or any other friend here on campus already?"

"I do," she answered, "my roommate Hannah has pretty much become my best friend."

"Perfect. My thought is this; for out first meeting why don't you bring Hannah along if she's willing and we'll just keep this more as a casual, hang-out type get together. Does that sound okay?"

"That sounds more than okay, Mick," she said, again with some relief in her voice, "Thank you for thinking of that and offering it. That definitely helps."

"What is your schedule," I asked, "do you know when you're free?"

"Well our season just ended last week and conditioning won't start up until after the New Year, so we're pretty much free whenever," she answered.

"Perfect, is seafood okay with you two? I've got a place I like that's pretty good so I'll get us a table for this Friday night. Not real fancy but it's not super casual either. So you'll probably feel more at ease if you dress up a little rather than down. Does that sound okay?"

"It all sounds great," Ally replied.

"Good. What I'd like you to do is confirm that Hannah's in and text me to let me know. I'll text you back my address. Let's plan on meeting at 7:00pm. I don't know if your mom told you but I live close to campus so it's walking distance in good weather. If the weather's bad, I'll come pick you up. Does that all sound good and doable?"

"It really does, Mick," she said, "Thanks. I'll get you Hannah's confirmation in just a few minutes."

"I look forward to it, Ally. I really do. Right now it's just the three of us going out for a good meal and hopefully we can have some laughs. Or at least you two can have some laughs at a broken down old man."

"Mom said that you were anything but "broken down", Mick. I'm sure it'll be fun and I look forward to meeting you," Ally finished with.

"Talk to you soon, Ally," I said and hung up.

Awww, crap. What all had Angela told her about me?

I had a reservation at a place down at the harbor for 8:15pm on Friday finalized before I got Ally's text confirming Hannah was in. I texted her back my address with the short note, "See you on Friday!"

The next two days leading up to our meeting were definitely weird for me. Feelings I've kept boxed up for years were now all being unpacked. And I'll never tell Angela this but they were reminiscent to the feelings, anxiety and nervousness that I felt in those days waiting on my first meeting with Marissa all those years ago.

Was this really happening? More importantly, did I even have it in me?

Strangely, I didn't feel haunted in any way by my memories of Mandy. I'd poured everything that I am into my love for her and the beauty of our time together is that she knew it. She knew that I was hers. Body, mind and spirit.

Even subsequent trysts with the salon owner and Angela never brought on any feelings of guilt in that regard...so I think I was good there.

No, I couldn't explain my nervousness or reticence. Was it the age thing? Was it that Ally had a connection to my past and Angela?

Shit. That thought didn't help. Because it did almost feel like I was maybe meeting some long, lost daughter that I didn't know I'd had and now I was going to try and take on some type of warped fatherly role to help her become a woman.

Yeah, that thinking needed to be stored in a deep, dark place, real quick, or this experiment was NEVER going to happen.

When the doorbell rang Friday eve just a few minutes after 7:00, the first impression I had as I met and let the two ladies in made every other thought that had come before vanish.

I guess I don't know what I was expecting? Giggling teens? Acne? Taylor Swift t-shirts? That isn't what I was confronted with. At all.

First was just their physical presence. I was thinking of Angela and her 6 foot stature, which I thought fit well against my 6 foot 3 inch frame. But Ally and Hannah both were taller than me and neither were wearing high heels. Ally had on flats and Hanna a modest pump.

The second thing is that these weren't girls. The pair that walked in were athletes. Long, tone and lithe. Mature, female athletes. And as they were both wearing versions of the "little black dress", there was no doubt that they were also women.

I think I kept my jaw attached and in place. Interestingly enough, my next thought was about their walk across campus up to this overlooking ridgeline where my house was located. Why had I only thought of college girls making a quick walk across campus rather than young women dressed for an evening out schlepping across campus to get to me? Stupid, stupid, stupid. Thoughtless and stupid.

So I did what seemed right and apologized.

"Ally, Hanna," I began with a seriousness that got their attention, "I didn't put this together in my brain very well but if I had I wouldn't have asked you to walk across campus to get to me. I should have come to pick you up and for that I'm sorry."

It felt natural to offer up a little of my own vulnerability so I added, "I'm definitely out of practice in thinking of the needs of others so you'll have to be patient with me tonight as we go out and hopefully have some fun."

I ended it with a heartfelt smile and both of them were positively beaming. It even looked like Hannah had a tear welling up.

How were these girls being treated by boyfriends, or their friends in general, that a simple acknowledgement of an error and apology could have such an emotional impact? There may be a level of fragility here that I wasn't accounting for.

I had a lot to learn. Especially if I was to take this to the next level with Ally to try and help her out. This can't be about just the sex.

But that would make sense. Because it wasn't about just the sex for me when Marissa came into my life. I'd literally fled Ohio, running to the west coast in hopes of leaving a LOT of stuff behind. So maybe Ally was more like me that I thought. It certainly seemed to resonate with Hannah.

As the roommate, having approval and any form of alliance with her wouldn't hurt, so I'd definitely give her attention and keep tabs on her throughout the night.

As we made ready to leave, I couldn't help but notice Ally was built almost identical to her mother. ALL woman, just packed onto a 6 foot 5 inch body. It was as intimidating as it was impressive. With her short skirt, she offered what seemed like 6 feet worth of just legs. Miles of sexy roadway that was sleek, tone and tan. Holy hell.

The similarity didn't stop there. She also had a beautiful face. If asked, your first thought wouldn't be volleyball player, it would be model. She was that alluring.

Hannah didn't quite have Ally's curves but she was by no means a stick figure. Her features were a little more stretched but came together very well and she presented a little more classically. Interestingly though, even though Hannah was two years her senior, she actually looked younger physically than Ally. Maybe a spot of acne on her forehead buried under some make-up.

But without what appeared to be any make-up, Ally still seemed like the older of the two.

Based on our relative height and attire, I offered that we take the Range Rover over my Jag and the drive to the harbor only took about 15 minutes.

The talk was generic during our drive. We pointed out sites along the way, and they discussed what their school schedules would look like now that the season was over, but nothing very personal was broached.

When we were seated overlooking the harbor and had our drink order in, Ally finally asked, "What do you do?"

I laughed and replied truthfully, "Not much, anymore."

I gave a brief account of my working for, and retiring from, the company we took public and then described the world of being a "fractional" CFO and CPA, letting them know that I only take on and maintain a workload that keeps me occupied about half time.

Hannah came out with, "So you're rich?" Which drew some side eye from Ally.

When Ally returned her gaze to me, she found me looking at her. I winked at her then turned to Hannah and replied, "Well it's not Tesla/Twitter money, but we shouldn't have to do the dishes after our meal."

Look, I'm no Don Juan or Casanova, but I knew the look I was getting from Hannah. I was being appraised and evaluated...but not for Ally's sake in the role of protective best friend. To her, it seemed like this evening was about also exploring answers for Hannah's needs more than just those of Ally.

I was going to have to clear that up. I was worried enough about attempting this for Angela and Ally's sake, I had no desire to get in the middle of anything else or cause problems in that way.

So I consciously put the bulk of my focus the remainder of the evening towards Ally. I didn't freeze Hannah out, but I definitely kept my attention on Ally.

When we got back to the campus I asked where they needed dropped off and they led me to their housing unit. It's amazing how much the campus had changed since I'd attended. I'd have been lost without their direction.

As I pulled up, I looked at Ally sitting up front with me and asked, "Can we talk for a minute?"

She gave a quick nod and said, "I'll be up in a minute, Han."

I got out, went around and opened Hanna's door. Once standing, I grabbed and gave her hand a quick squeeze and said, "Thanks for coming along. It was a pleasure meeting you and I hope to see you again."

Big smile from her then she smashed into me with a big hug.

"Thanks for dinner. Nice meeting you, Mick!" Then she said back into the open car door, "See you in a few, Al!"

I caught one backward glance from Hannah as she walked away but I was already getting back into my seat and pulling the door closed. I'd stopped on the curb at the walkway to their building so I asked, "Is it okay to pull into a parking spot there so we don't block traffic or draw any attention?"

"Sure," was all she said. so I pulled into the lot and shut off the vehicle.

There was about a two minute period of quiet while we both stared out the windshield. I finally broke the silence.

"Ally," I started, "your mom talked with me about meeting you but I want to hear it from you. What is this about? Why are you here with me?"

I paused for about ten seconds and then resumed with, "More important, what do YOU want and what can I do to actually help you?"

About a minute lapsed and then she said, "I don't know how to answer all of that, Mick. I'm lost...and I feel like I've been lost for years. Like I'm simply an object. Mom knows all this. About my history with it. And a couple of months ago she tells me a story about a young guy with the nickname "Cue". What he went through in high school. Then she talked about who he is now and the influence and events that helped change things for him."

There was enough light in the parking lot that I could see her lower lip start to tremble and there was a definite shine in her eyes with the tears welling.

I grabbed a pack of tissues from within the arm rest and set them out if she needed them...but I didn't say anything. This was her chance to be heard and I didn't want to interrupt it.

She grabbed the tissues and set them in her lap. The act brought my eyes down and I was treated with the view of an incredible amount of exposed thigh. Oh God. She was definitely an object and I didn't know if I was the right person to help her resolve that.

She surprised me by asking, "Did that older lady really help you or was that just a part of the maturation process that was going to naturally occur throughout your life?"

The question so caught me off guard that I said, "Give me just a sec to consider that before I try to answer you."

As I replayed her question in my head, she turned her body more toward me and settled in while pulling a tissue from the pack. I hadn't seen a tear fall and she didn't wipe her eyes, but maybe just having something tactile to worry over was comforting.

"For me, Ally, the time with Marissa completely changed my life. I was a hot mess. Zero confidence. Next to no self esteem. I mean, I could function socially. I had good enough friends, I could hang-out and participate and even really enjoyed the activities I was involved in. But a barrier toward intimacy, especially that of physical contact, had been built that I'm not sure I would've overcome without Marissa."

I paused there for a minute then blurted out as the thought crystallized in my head, "Without Marissa, I'm positive I would've NEVER had it in me to meet, engage and marry my wife...and I can't imagine my life without her."

There was a definite emotion in my voice as I spit that out. I looked down at my hands and made the conscious effort to relax them as they'd bunched-up tight during my revelation.

I thought Ally was handing me the tissues but instead, she reached over and took my hand closest to her. Just holding it gently across the console.

I took a deep breath and said, "But what I needed may not be what you need. That's not for me to say. I was immature and inexperienced, sure, but my "object" wasn't visible. It was the talk of the locker room and a whisper behind girls hands. You have to walk around with a very visible size and beauty that makes people awestruck. You can't hide it or run away from it."

I finished softly with, "I can't imagine what that's meant for you. How it effects those around you. And I don't know if being with me, like I was with Marissa, is what will help you out...or maybe it hurts you more? I don't know. I don't want to hurt you."

She squeezed my hand at that point and said, "Mick, just knowing that helps me out."

Okay. I guess we were doing this. And now that the decision was made in my head I was going straight to Hell for my thoughts about what that body would look like sans clothing.

"Ally, from this point forward there are two rules. One, don't confuse any feelings of passion, happiness or love with actually being "in love". We stay rational in this. If it works, we may form a life long bond based on love and trust but we're not going to become a couple. Make sense?"

"It does," she said but then followed with, "Did you think you were falling in love with Marissa?"

"I did," I offered honestly, "but she reminded me constantly that she wasn't in love with me and if that was an issue we'd end it there. There were times if kind of hurt me, but I've always respected her for it. More so now as I look back on our time together."

"Will you remind me, Mick?" Ally asked.

I chuckled and replied, "Shit, Ally. You may be the one who needs to constantly remind me!"

With that, Ally laughed. It was the first time throughout the evening she'd actually full-on laughed and it was sexy. I suppose a shrink would have a field day with me, but her laugh reminded me that she really was still only a girl and that thought brought a twitch to my groin. Yep, straight to Hell.

"Second," I said, getting back into it as our laughter died down, "from this point forward, I don't report or answer to your mom. I answer to you. Your mom and I didn't discuss this, and I'm sure she's not going to like it, but this is between you and me. Your mom will only know what you tell her."

All signs of the previous laughter were now gone and the cabin of the vehicle was very still. Ally was boring holes in me with her stare and her eyes seemed to shine again. This was confirmed when she reached up quickly and wiped away a tear.

"Thank you, Mick," she said softly. "I love my mom. And as much as she knows about what led us to this point, it's got to stop somewhere. If we do this, I'd like it to be on my terms, and at my direction, as it relates to her."

"Perfect," I said, "because I do NOT want to talk with Angela about what I may or may not be doing to her daughter. This isn't the Twilight Zone...or Alabama."

We both had a small chuckle at that and then it got quiet again.

There was a bit of anxiousness in her voice when Ally asked, "So...what do we do next?"

I said, "Are you free tomorrow night?"

She nodded to indicate she was.

"Is that too soon to meet next?"

She shook her head side to side and said concurrently, "I guess no time like the present, huh?"

"Then tomorrow is casual and I'll pick you up here at 7:00pm", I said, "and if we do this right, by late evening, we'll have a whole new appreciation for who you really are and what you can do."

There was a twinkle in her eye and a bit of a smile as she gave me a quick little nod. With that, I got out and walked around to her door to let her out.

Dressed as she was tonight, watching her exit the vehicle sure as shit beat the results you'd expect from any defibrillator. I couldn't help but gawk and she simply smiled when we made eye contact.

I could tell right away that she was coming in for her hug and I knew that before she molded herself to my body that she was going to feel a bulge. She was barely taller than me and yet it still seemed like her large expanse of bare chest and cleavage was coming in about face high to me.

I swallowed the groan that made it to my throat once we made full contact. I was hoping to not freak her out with the erection forming so I didn't think groaning in her ear would be appropriate at this point either.

It was clear that the evening, and our talk, had relaxed Ally quite a bit. So much so, that when we parted and she started walking away she said over her shoulder, "I'll be sure to report to mom that "Cue" seemed DTF but that Mick was a perfect gentleman!"

Sexy chuckle and a brief wave then headed on to the door of her building.

Oh fuck. She really doesn't know who she is and what power she wields. If I could help her understand that, if I was LUCKY enough to help her learn that, then she was going to become a force of nature.

And I'd most likely die trying.

"Inside him, there's longing

this girl's an open page

Book marking, she's so close now

this girl is half his age."

From the song Don't Stand So Close to Me by The Police

I was surprised that I wasn't more nervous throughout the day leading up to meeting with Ally. I did receive a text from Angela that morning asking about our meeting and I replied simply, "Angela, you have an amazing, wonderful daughter. Past that, I won't break her trust, or yours."