All Comments on 'The Succubae Seduction Ch. 20'

lolz ive read and favorited all your chapters 1 - 20 ur the bomb an my favorite chapter is the one where angela gets her true form back it was and still is awesome

I find myself favoring various characters in each chapter (a sign that you're doing a good job with them), but my favorite overall is Brooke. Keep it up!

i can't think of single character i have not just loved.

But Areth is probably my favorite mostly for what happened at the end of the last

chapter.

Please keep it up it just gets better & better.

Dravin_Black

Love the story and can't really say I have a favorite they all have great interactions with everyone. I can also say with the last couple chapters your doing better at not leaving the story on edge. Well done and can't wait for more.

hmm , of the minor characters I do like Jenifer, that combination of saucy banter and hidden vulnerability is rather endearing.

Of the major characters, maybe Angela, good personality and the ability to change appearance is practical in bedroom and beyond

A few sword related comments

1. Muramasa and Masamune were swordsmiths and made dozen's of blades each

2. Katana's don't have pommels, pommels are weights added to the bottom of the hilt to balance the blade.

your story is amazing and i love seeing a new chapter when i jump on here i cant seem to choose a favorite character they are all awesome i think if i had to choose id lean toward angela but im loving the story and the best thing about it is your bringing out chapters regularly keep it up awesome work

When she was sent to kill Lyden and his parents, she was in her current form correct? Its also stated they are Childhood friends. That brings me to my question.

How did Lyden get raised? Did she drop him off at someones door step? And how would being childhood friends work? Since its not like she can change her appearance to that of a child. Or did she get involved in his life when he hit teenage years?

If its already explained, I must of forgot. But I don't think it was.

And if I had to pick a character... Lyden, Brook, Angela and Areth.

@Anon: In chapter 1, it says that Lyden was raised in foster care until 16 when he went out on his own and that Brooke watched over him along the way.

I have enjoyed reading this story so far and I look forward to the rest of the adventures

I can't decide who my favorite is, but I'm VERY partial to mermaids, so much so that I wouldn't mind being a merman myself...that trick with the gills out in air so she can keep him down her throat without suffocating was neat, very neat.

The detail I find annoying is when the girls swallow Lyden's cock, it should not be going down her trachea, which is the windpipe, it should go down the eusophagus, or swallow pipe! The epiglottis closes off the trachea when food is swallowed to prevent choking or damage to the vocal cords.

The girls are all cool, Lyden is the worst character. I hate his whiny retarded ass.

I would have to say that I like Areth the most, she has such spunk and some real sas to her aswell as being nice and ctue at the same time. Lyden is still a tad, lame, if that's the right word. He just needs to open a can of whoopass and that might sort him out lol

JC

Like I said before, Muramasa is awesome especially the sword fighting, I just love swords. Areth is still my favourite, she fits my type frankly, personality and looks.

JC

Aerith, Angila and Lisa are my favorite.

.

I adore areth, she gives the story levity

i hate one line on the next page but this story is a great story with twist and turn hope to see more

Angella, Areth & Becky are my favorites.

basically because I am disappointed, not in the story, but in two instances in the story that are, well, I can't even define them.

The first is the use of 'social finger'. This is actually the second time it has been used by the author. At least this time it was in context and not knowing what it meant didn't make you wonder what DB's Bro was talking about.

So I Googled it to find out WTF. The prominent citation was urban dictionary, which immediately makes it's use suspect. Then find out it is being used incorrectly?

From the Urban Dictionary: "The middle finger, when used to flip someone off."

Neither time 'social finger' has been used was it in context of flipping someone off. In Ch 20, it is used to describe Becky's use of her fingers to itemize points in a discussion, as in: 'she held up her index finger and yada ya, then she held up her social finger and...'

This is amateurish and beneath your talent. An on the ball editor shouldn't have let it pass. ( This is not the first indication you need a better editor, but I'm going to discuss that with you privately.')

The second issue, and the one that put me over the top in frustration is "Her hymen has grown back. I wonder if it takes seven years for mermaids like it does for humans?"

Yes, you are writing in SciFi/Fantasy, but there is a reason it's called SCIENCE Fiction. You don't get to make shit up and just drop it. Especially when it is as misogynist as saying 'like it does for humans' in reference to a hymen growing back. As if it's common knowledge and if you don't know this fact, you're an idiot and if you are a women who hasn't had sex in seven, you are inferior because your hymen didn't regenerate!

This is such rank amateur crap, it's disgusting. It degrades your talent and should embarrass you. Given that no one has commented on it, I have to ask, "WTF were you commenters reading?"

To the previous anonymous commenter:

Yes, I've used social finger to describe the middle finger. It is a term I use on a regular basis, but not just to describe flipping someone the bird. I'm sorry this little quirk in my own speech has bothered you so much. It is something easily fixed, even in the published versions.

As for your other issue, I was taught in high school health class from a woman, that the hymen will grow back in approximately 7 years, if a woman stays abstinent for that long. Now I never claimed to be a genius, but I never thought to fact check what I was taught in school. Considering the decline of the American education system, I guess I'm wrong for not doing that.

Now, if I may make a suggestion... I love to get feedback. I prefer to get constructive criticism vs. Outright insults. I see no reason for you to be so rude. I will take what you've said, & fix my story.

Thank you.

Hey, DBs_Bro,

I can't say much on the social finger aspect, as I have not heard that before. But before you go changing anything, about the hymen "growing back" your source isn't incorrect; it just may not be an "exact" amount of time for every woman, nothing like 7 years to the day or anything. But yes, the hymen stretches--it doesn't "pop" or "break," but it can rip/tear, just like any thin piece of skin pulled too tight, too quickly--and then it heals and adjusts to repeated stretching. If there's no repeated stretching, it can retighten and become "virgin-tight" again after enough time has passed. In fact, did you know that, generally, if a girl bleeds the first time....you both went too fast without enough preparation. ;)

If you would like a visual demonstration (G-rated) and would like to hear some "mythbusting" about this mystical of female tidbits, I highly recommend the lovely Laci Green: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9qFojO8WkpA

She's helpful, optimistic, and pretty. :) She has other "sex positive" videos, too.

@Etaski

Thank you. I'll definitely check out that link when I get home.

There is an endearing aspect to each of these women, but Angela has and always will be my favorite.

The comments about the social finger and the hymen say more about the person making the comments than they do about your writing style, knowledge and editor. They went from possibly constructive to being insulting and rude. I think that was unnecessary.

Jennifer!!

So I was very hesitant on starting this story because it is so long. I really enjoy fae storys and succubus! So I decided to give it a try! I've been reading storys on here for a few months now and this is by far the best I've read! So thank you! And my fav. would probably be areth!!

Thank you! Areth has been a lot of fun to write!

Many thanks to you and your editor

Your ability to depict these characters has allowed my imagination to create them all, I am a glutton for punishment, give me the Amazon / Angelica, and I would die a happy man lol.

Roo

An Aussie Larrikin

I’ve been keeping up with the twins’ book for a while now, and thought I’d get around to reading the first Succubae Seduction. The second is making much more sense now. But I am glad I started with it and not this, because every time you mention hymens in this I want to smash my face against the keyboard.

Pain and/or blood = you haven’t warmed her up enough. Which I think you now know thanks to some of your kind commenters here. It’s commonly spread misinformation, so don’t feel bad about it. It certainly didn’t necessitate the abuse you received. Just a polite stating of the facts would have sufficed. It’s a shame Literotica doesn’t have an edit feature so authors can fix any mistakes after publishing. There’s really no need for people to be rude. All the authors and editors here do this voluntarily and are constantly improving. If people want professionally produced erotica, they can go pay for it.

My favourite character is Angela. And I think you’ve really nailed Lyden. I agree with some of the other commenters that he’s not particularly strong and alpha, but I think that’s wonderful. Those guys come off as arrogant and douchey. Lyden was shy to begin with, so the confidence he’s built is a good amount. Anymore would be unbelievable. And he’s had this crazy stuff thrust upon him suddenly, so of course he’s going to be confused, overwhelmed and unsure. It would be unrealistic for him to be a cocky assured leader and know exactly what to do. No one is confident when they have no idea what’s going on. Contrary to what Hollywood likes to portray, you don’t have to be alpha to be a leader, and Men do have feelings. It’s good to show that. It gives the character depth.

Favorite character is Angela. Great story.

I shall have to go with my gut at this point (because as several have pointed out they are all quite good and I am sure my "favorite" has changed and will change again soon enough): Sheila. I look forward to her further development. I also like Areth Miranda and AnnaBelle much.

I like Lyden, Guess I'm the sympathetic type. I was abused as a child and now have PTSD from it. I did a career in the Air Force with no issues, then my Father passed and I got hit with repressed memories and it gave me Depression form PTSD. I must take a pill each day to avoid it. Was very glad to see the ladies were not actually killed. Good story, Keep it up.

@Ramjet57

I'm terribly sorry you went through that. I hope your future holds many great things & thanks for the comments.

Well said " AutumnsBreath " . Below .

MY favorite character is Areth, though all of your characters are interesting and well developed.