All Comments on 'The Surprise'

Dont need no mo of that wimpy shit.

SCI-FI my friend. This is the big kids site. Your story was cute. But in the wrong place. Good luck on future stories.

... with the vampire garbage make sure you move it to the Non-Human category before he murders the husband or turns the wife. It was an ok story till that little reveal, then I lost interest in anything further.

Forget it.

And I am being kind, A load of rubbish

Don't follow it up!

This does work as a SCI-FI story but that is about all. I still think that if the wife has this immortal lover, and seemed to have many previous lives and all with the vampire, so why is she married to a human?

A monkey could write better and is a lot smarter then the idiot that wrote this crap.

please

Great set up and a great cliffhanger. You write very well King with just the right amount of dialogue, action and character development. I am very intrigued to see how you plan to spin this tale further between the three main characters...only two of which are human. The Solomon character could be fascinating to get to know better. Please continue!

The answer to your question is NO! ABSOLUTELY NO!

Unless you plan on having Ray slowly torture Solomon and his whore to death, forget it, as a matter of fact, eat shit and die.

One of them must have copied the idiot hall pass and passed it around... I vote but rarely comment; however, all the nasty ones persuaded me to let you know to ignore them. The story was well-written and I am interested in seeing where you take it. Keep going, please! :)

~ella

Total Crap---don`t write another like of this CRAP.

too bad ray did not wake up and cut Solomons balls off and shove them up his whores ass. Hoe she gets AID from Solomon and dies a sow lonely death

The wife is n awful selfish bitch, the om is an asshole.

The only way this could have been a good story is if Ray had caught them, killed Sol and made it look like the wife did it so she would go to prison. Stupid sluts cheating on husbands isn't erotic, it's just depressing crap.

I agree - who let the haters out. If you don't like this type of story then pick another category hypocrites and stop fooling yourselves. You liked it or you wouldn't have read it!

Just to clarify:

1. Not all stories about people who don't die (immortals) mean vampires.

2. Mia is not immortal nor does she have any clue that Solomon is at this point, nor will she become one.

3. This is a love story about someone who lives forever and recognizes the reincarnated soul of the one woman he could never forget.

To all the haters here: Thanks for nothing. Criticize my writing sure. Even recommend ways I could improve. Lord knows I've read stories on this site that could make an English teacher have a stroke. But don't call it rubbish and fail to back up the statement. I love how none of you have the balls to post hate outside of you Anonymous shell.

I'm sorry if my story didn't get you off or turn you on but some people actually like stories of cheating spouses and risky sex with the thrill of nearly being caught. If that doesn't turn you on then don't just insult me tell me what would be better. What kind of story would you rather see? As for the Non-Human stuff, if Solomon was a vampire I could see that this story would belong there but this story isn't about non-human with human sex or turning a human into a vampire or something stupid like that. This story is about three lovers in a star crossed triangle. Two of which have a long and powerful history together and one of which despite his best efforts cannot die.

Take your hate somewhere else I really don't know what I did to deserve it.

I love the twist at the end. I was wondering about the past lives bit. Maybe you will write more and we can see if Mia ever figures it out!!!

No monk, don't want to read more.

Awesome story. I loved the twist at the end; I only wish the story was longer. Forget the critics. Hope to see you publish some more.