All Comments on 'The Swap'

Until you stop using present tense. It simply doesn't work. That is the unvarnished truth

Holy cow, the king of writing is here to forbid the usage of an entire tense! Who will break the news to Charles Dickens and Alice Munro?

I don't think anything will become of your writing until you have a story to tell. No way this a story.

Coupled with thoroughly unlikable characters adds up to an ugly story.

1 star

Cuckoldry as a fetish is always willing, but thanks for being so nasty and dismissive about other people’s kinks. And, as always, if you don’t like flash fiction or morally complex characters, read something else! It’s shitty to downvote something just because it doesn’t cater to your specific tastes. Not every piece of art is for everybody and that’s okay.

Was this a piece I art? Did I miss something?

I have no problem with present tense in fiction when done properly. This isn’t it.

Work on your writing and grammar. Stick to one tense. Work on basics like sentence structure.

All are important to writing.

I had no problem with the swapping.

You're goddamn right it is! All that's required for art is intent, and you should be gracious to the writers on this site who are providing you with free content instead of sneering out of some inflated sense of self importance. You don't have to like anyone's work, but stripping it of its status as art is somehow both pretentious and ignorant at the same time.

Listen up folks! If you don't like my writing, then my writing is not for you. I know that can be a tough pill for some people to swallow, but I truly don't care if a bunch of internet bros like my work. I'm not changing my style for you. If you don't like flash fiction or present tense or unlikable characters, then you're shit out of luck. Because that's what I write. Save yourself the headache and read something else.

Hi Hydrangeal. Just read a few of your stories and I like them all. I will read more and I like your style. Mike H

I like the way it happens and that they share the same room..it's so stupid to go separate ways or rooms and then each can't enjoy and watch their spouses get pleasured...