All Comments on 'The Tale of Frank Vandenberg'

Just like the writer

There but for the deaf ears it will fall upon.

5*

A really really bad downer, man.

It's throw-up time!!!

Only two women in the story, and you mix their names up at the end? Proofread, my friend!

I'm dazed and I think the author is confused - this story is fragmented beyond belief. Not much of a beginning, a confusing middle and a stupid end.

How the FUCK could you have gotten the mother and daughter's names mixed up at the end? .... Smart move... not letting us vote.

Remember that time you mixed up a couple of names in your stories? Oh, that's right. You don't write stories. You don't contribute a thing to this site except bitching and moaning about the stories that others write for you -- for free.

FYI, I resubmitted an edited version of this story with the corrected names the day after this was published. The admins have been sitting on it for eight days and counting.

Stick to what they can do best, and writing isn't what you do best. My opinion.

Meh...ONE *

to be truthful your story is stupid your comments are dumb and you make no sensr so do this site a favor and shut up.

What an incomplete piece of shit that story was!! When you went to school didn't you learn that a story has a beginning ..a middle ...and ending! Yours has no middle... And besides flesh out the characters will you...You lead us on with how things supposedly happened and then Luanne comes in at the end and everything changes. Learn how to write or stop. Your story gave me indigestion!!

A depressing waste of time, I don't know why the author turned of ratings, probably to sucker people into giving this story a chance.

If there had been ratings I expect it would have been low enough for me to be warned away.

You must be new here.

LOL.

I don't get it, why get married if your going to run away when shit hits the fan. I mean your wife is getting fucked and she justifies it by saying in her mind the marriage was over. Why not end it for real before you cheat? Just another cheater trying to justify the BS of it all.

Yet another one who commented on this story without reading it. This may be my favorite story now just because of the comments it generated.

It's not about the overt subject, it's about deeply closeted gay men hiding their homosexuality even from themselves, by hiding their concentration on the cocks of the story behind a convenient beard.

We're all waiting...

A good story.....no winners, no losers. Just life at its worst.

It was an interesting experience.

It seems to me that Joe started with an idea that continued his on-going battle with formulaic Loving Wives stories. He then added the twist of giving some characters names that were recognisably similar to a few other authors who have written stories that conform to the formula.

Unless I am misreading the situation, the idea for the story came first and making the reference to the other authors was secondary -- a not-so-subtle dig. It was not the primary purpose of the story.

In response, Vandemonium and Blackrandi have now launched a broadside. Where I thought Joe started with the story and added the names as a joke, it seems to me that Van and Randi started with the felt need to retaliate and wrote stories to suit.

I thought Joe's story was clever. If it had used neutral names for its characters, and if Joe had enabled scoring, it may have scored quite highly.

I didn't think either of the other two stories was clever. I doubt they would have scored highly if they had used neutral names. I thought it was sad that two accomplished authors did what they did.

Lue

Luedon, you win the prize of the day! Congratulations for being one of the few (only?) people on the planet who actually understood this story! Not only did you get it, but you nailed the creative thought process behind it as well.

I don't blame Randi or Vandy for taking offense that I used their names (or similar-sounding names) in this story, and I think it's adorable how they teamed up yesterday. I just wish they had executed it better. Show a little imagination. Tickle our funny bone instead of whacking it with a hammer. And if you're going to satirize something, your satirical character should have some resemblance to the object of your ridicule. I mean...the "loser in mom's basement?" So lame. If you're gonna tarnish your reputation as a writer, at least put some effort into it!

it takes a whore to understand a cuck... normal people won't even try.

in da house of crapy twat and share da fat meat cigar with JOEDAFAGG

As has been mentioned before, you don't just fall in love. It takes a concerted effort, looking to find time for one another, seeking common ground. It's actually a choice that has to be made and this bitch made hers. She violated her commitment to the institute of marriage. She had a problem with her husband, she should have divorced him and cleared the decks before moving on to number 2.

And by the way, what happened to the marriage of the dickhead?

The marriage of the dickhead never took place. Remember when Walt said Frank had a way of making up stories? Dickhead was just a story. Frank is a metaphor for a good number of the writers here in LW. The fact that you couldn't grasp that is just PERFECT. Perhaps the most fitting end to the story.

Frank was an abusive, insecure, asshole who got really depressed after his dad died and Luanne tried her best but fell in love with another guy (she couldn't help it) but absolutely never acted upon it until the divorce. Also, the fact that she fell in love with another man while married and then went on to be with that man had nothing to do with the divorce, obviously. The kid who liked Bitter Frank is miserable and alone and the kid who defends the mother is happy with his wife and kids. C'mon man.

Luanne good, Frank bad. This is about as cartoonish as any tale you've ever lobbed that criticism at Joe and consequently it's your worst story. Any claim that you had some sort of message to deliver with this one is bogus.

I do really like your swinging/open marriage stories and the emotions and particulars involved in those lifestyles.

Couldn't wrap my head around this one, so I read other reviews. Didn't help. Very queer (using that word old school way) story line. Can't suggest or not suggest fellow fans of "Loving Wives" read it. I can't rate it bad or good because it's just different. Story line is easy to follow and perhaps I will re-read it later, but... mmmmm.

In your story there was no indication that this character was delusional so you could say anything and to your discredit you did! Through most of the story after he found her cheating Walt kept him from killing the cheaters. Then you switch at the end that he lost his mind. Still his two daughters are fucked up by what their mother did to their family by falling in love while still married. Imagine if things were so bad nobody knew but the cheating wife. You need to rewrite this mess of mixed up stories together they don't match!

Not normal to twist and make your main character a dilutions old man. You also had the poor taste to take away any dignity he had. He was only partially correct about the children the daughter did hate the mom. Hell you really could have wrenched the tail around by having the daughter Love her mother.

Your half effort gets a 2 and a overall 1.

Terrible story! Please don't insult old men for that matter us men any age! ★ WOOF!

while the avenging angel seeks retribution

SirThopas

FTFY

Nothing has changed and my previous comments remain the same this time. Your story was not rewritten so the rating remains low as well.

Joe, I picked this story because Luanne mentioned it in Bebop's story comments. I made a mistake. I usually like your stories, but this was a slap at my people. I am firmly in the BTB, no cheating without consequences group. I do like reconciliation with sufficient penance. But it's a big no, never, to cucking, swinging, and unpunished cheating. It wasn't hard to see your intent here. Color me offended. The comment wars here were great, as usual. You hurt me, but I'll be back.

This was a horrible story, The husband caught her cheating, But in the end she never cheated while she was married to him. Yet she left him and her children to marry her new love? Was this the ramblings of a demented man? It doesn't paint a pretty picture of the mom either, No mother would abandon her children to a demented man just to marry her new love. Just like a suicide it just leaves more questions than answers. Nothing in the title applies to this story. Horrible!! Makes me question your own thought process. If you had turned something like this in an English Literature class You would have been sent back to Elementary to re-learn the whole thing. All your stories I've read so far are so horribly written to where they don't make any sense, I guess you just don't have the knack to write a story that will grab your readers.

🤮💩

Good writing - kinda (no spelling or basic grammar mistakes). Lousy message.

I’m glad she could stay true until she had her exit strategy lined up.

Jane should have spat in Luanne face and frog hopped her out the door of the funeral home never allowing Luanne next to the casket... Serves her right !!!

"You've finally found peace."

Coming from his ex-wife, that sounds like witch's cackle as she cursing someone.

Why do you have great stories with shitty endings?

yours, theirs, and the truth. good read, thought provocking, LOVE slap hapy papy #9

wat a shitty story ending. No Stars

Great story!!!!

so there was no btb

no cheating

no revenge

So why use those tags?

The revenge was in his head. He didn't burn the bitch and its possible she didn't even cheat. The Tale was of a sad man who we don't even know if was a victim of a crap wife or his own failures, a depressing read about a depressing person with a equally depressing death. I understand trying something different from the usual revenge/btb stories but that was thoroughly unsatisfying.

zerozerozero. the most pathetic miserable piece of drivel I ever read....

From some of the comments, I'd say you were casting pearls before swine. Great story.

Worth coming online and trawling some crap just to find this gem. Nicely done. TC Ireland.

What was this? Everything in this story cancels everything. Waste of time.

At this point, I don't know whose story is true. I have to believe Dad's story since Mom deserted her children.

To fall in love with another person when you are married, does not just happen, one allows it to happen. Regardless of who is right or wrong, she is the one that committed adultery and thus it is her fault. Further to this, never trust a cheater they rose tint it to their way. Thus I favour his version. It also seems she traded up.

At first reading a very unique storyline. But if the reader does some analysis there are some unanswered issues.

If Frank was so abusive and drunk all the time, why didn’t Luanne get a restraining order against him to protect herself and the children rather than become romantically involved with Joe? Perhaps she could have gotten help for her husband as a condition of reconciliation.

The wording indicates that both Joe and Luanne got divorces meaning two marriages were destroyed by their affair not one. Further allowing yourself to become emotionally involved with a man outside of your marriage is still cheating.

Finally Luanne left her children for another man knowing her ex was emotionally disturbed and potentially violent. Nice mother!

If anything when Frank became a drunk, it was because he discovered Luann cheating. A man can prepare himself for a lot of things, but he is never really for a cheating life pardner. What I don't understand is why the business failed when Grandpa died. Frank should have been ready to take over, or obviously not.

XYZ

Well the usual shitty story ending with shifting the blame from the cheater.

⭐⭐⭐⭐ 2nd time through on this one. I think this is one of the saddest endings on this entire site. But, with this reading, several things become obvious.

Luanne is a lying, cheating slut. Her cheating caused Frank's drinking. She abandoned her children to a man she claimed was abusive and dangerous. A lie. She didn't give a damn about hubby nor the kids. Etc., etc., etc...

The saddest part is that he had no revenge at all. They lived in an apartment, she burned off. So, she paid no child support, no spousal maintenance, nothing.

The kids weren't even smart enough to ban her from the funeral. Her "paying respects" is the last indignity.

( ... and I guess Joe didn't stick around ... )

5☆ for the comments below. The story was well written, but left me cold. So 2☆ for the story.

A typical Swingerjoe story. Just plain awful.

Scores 1/5

Even if what she said was true about him becoming a bad husband and a bad father, 3 things still remain: (1) she claims she kept her vows but for better or worse only applies when she feels like it, (2) she abandoned her children with an abusive parent and (3) she is still an adulterer. Delusions, delusions, delusions.

Not what i expected. The ending was unexpected. Very different type of story. Gave it a 5.Very seldom do i give a 5. Unusual. I really enjoyed it.

Once again, the woman has no agency or accountability!

Heu, c'est quoi comme histoire ?

Not at all quite MY cup of tea! Very disappointed"

She also seems to have a creative side. When a marriage fails why is it one spouse feels entitled to run. Leave the kids? She left and he didn’t.

Not a fan of this pne.

Hahaha. Nice try 🐖

The unexpected end did it for me. Good tale.

Good but somewhat anticlimactic.

???

No rating

entonces dejo a sus hijos con un alcoholico peligroso?

es eso?

What a whire!!! Left her children under the care of a drunken and violent man. Who buys that bullshit?

AH, the implication being what will happen to a man who doesn't "work it out" with his wife.

So then, here is another: it is better to die on your feet than live on your knees.

She left her children high and dry with a brken man. Who does that except for a whore with no feelings! Why did you have the son left behind supporting her???

Just no.

Moral of the story is not to read anything written by cucks

Okay:

The writing (composition) is very well done, would meet or exceed expectations by Writers' Workshop instructors--so well done on that.

The plotline is ingenious and puts a spin on the cheating wife--revenging husband trope that actually has a "final conclusion" to the story. The problem for many readers is that they do not agree with that conclusion with regard to how things worked out for the ex-wife. I can't say that I agree with the ending either--but I can at least imagine that "some version" of that scenario might have possibly existed.

Regardless, you wrote an interesting "complete" story that has generated considerable discussion. Congratulations.

Please keep writing.

MLJ

Certainly reasonably up to a point. Weird though, that the underage kids would wind up with the apparently broke, alcoholic, and abusive father instead of the apparently totally normal mother who had left her husband for justified reasons for a non-scumbag lover.