The Things You Make Me Feel Ch. 10

"And what will we do then? Huh, Mom? I love him, and I'm not gonna hide it. I can't. "

"We'll figure it out. Like a family."

"Mo—"

"Baby, I said no, and I don't wanna hear any more of it."

Dan, Dave, and Kara joined them round the table while Michela and Jack served spicy wings and mini burgers for first course.

"Ellie, go call him," Alice instructed as she took her seat. "If you must."

Ellie scowled at her mother before cutting her eyes at the pool, where her boyfriend was soaking alone. She walked up to him while taking off her summer dress. She sat on the edge of the pool and submerged her legs while Oliver waded to her.

She looked so beautiful, he thought, in the sexy grey bikini they'd purchased earlier. Her body was lean, tanned, and as flawless as ever. Her belly was the size of a melon, and her jugs were enormous in her top, looking disproportionate to the rest of her. What a sight she was.

The blue in her eyes sparkled with life as he got closer. "Hey, you."

He forced a smile back. "Hey."

A frown creased her forehead when she saw how far he was standing from her. "Come closer."

He glanced timidly at their family, who were carefully observing. "Maybe I shouldn't."

Her soft expression turned somber. "Oliver, come here. Now."

He nodded and took a timid step or tw—

Ellie hooked her heels on his lower back and pulled him to her determinedly until he was standing between her legs as close as her pregnant state allowed. "That's better," she cooed with a loving grin.

It infuriated Ellie, the cold shoulder Oliver was receiving from them, so she was definitely not going to ease them into it, the way she'd initially planned. If they weren't willing to at least pretend, then neither would she.

Oliver wasn't as brazen as his sister, and this was bound to aggravate them, so he tried keeping some distance between them, but Ellie simply crossed her feet around his back and locked him to her belly, giving him no way out.

He glanced at the table and instantly knew he shouldn't have. "Ellie, maybe it's better if—"

"Fuck them. If they have a problem with it, they can look away."

Oliver stole another peek at his displeased parents, his stomach roiling.

"Sweetheart?"

"Fuck it," he muttered and snaked his arms around her, knowing he was only making it worse, for this was a very intimate pose, certainly unsuitable for siblings.

"There you go," Ellie purred before she pushed her bottom lip out. "I was beginning to feel unloved..."

"My bad. Won't happen again."

She stroked his damp hair back. "I'm really sorry."

"Sorry? What about?"

Ellie hated his smile now. It felt so bogus and insincere. "Don't do that; not with me."

Her brother gave a nod, and his smile went away.

"It's brutal, I know, but they'll come around."

"I'm sure they will."

"I told you not to do that."

"Sorry," he murmured with a sheepish smile, incapable of fooling his observant sister. "It is sort of hostile out here, isn't it?"

"If I'd known they would do that, we would've just stayed home."

"No, I'm glad we came. You needed this, and so did Michela. I'll just have to suck it up to the end."

The blonde wrapped her arms around his neck and locked their foreheads together. "You're amazing. Did you know that?"

"Do you really think that, Ellie?"

Ellie's smile wore off. She hated how insecure he seemed all of a sudden. "Oliver, you're the most amazing person that I know."

He fastened his arms around her and surveyed her blue eyes. "Can I ask you a question? And you have to promise to give me a genuine answer."

She nodded, her feet still crossed around him. "Of course, my love."

"In hindsight, if you could have avoided it... would you?"

"If I could've avoided falling for you?"

He bobbed his head.

"It's a good question."

"Thank you."

She took a moment to reflect on it, noting how tense he seemed. "I can say today that, knowing what I know, had I had the chance to escape it, I would've definitely... not."

"Was it really necessary? That pause there at the end?"

Ellie giggled, loving the fear in his eyes.

She liked it when he was vulnerable, but only when it came to her. And she could reduce him to nothing if chose to.

"I was just toying with you a little. I am your big sister after all. It's my birthright."

"That's nice," he retorted. "Perfect timing by the way."

"Yeah, I thought so, too."

They laughed, holding each other so intimately in defiance of the judgmental eyes of their family.

"Seriously though, gorgeous, if you could've avoided all the pain and drama, would you have still...?"

The expression on his face slew her pretty grin in an instant. "Why? You wouldn't?"

"It's not about me."

"Oh my god, you'd better give me an answer now before I—" She smacked him playfully when he began guffawing. She was feigning ire, though his laughter was replenishing her with joy. "You can be such a mean boyfriend."

"I give as good as I get, Sis."

"Are we talking about between the sheets now? Because you definitely give there as good or better."

They chuckled before they locked eyes, so lost in one another.

Ellie cupped his cheek and felt his smooth shave with her thumb. "Oliver, my love, I would've done it over and over, and that's the painful truth. The things you make me feel... I have never felt this way before; I didn't even know it was possible. I'm crazy about you, like... clinically."

Her brother smiled, yet this time genuine, feeling a hell of a lot better now. "Fuck them. Fuck everyone. I'm so in love with you, Ellie. You're worth everything."

Ellie curled her arms around his neck and propped her forehead against his. "Ditto."

He sighed, reveling in her sweet breath glancing off his lips. "I really feel like kissing you now."

"What's stopping you?" she whispered back.

"Shit. Are you serious?"

"Dead serious."

"They'll hate me. Like... even more than they do now."

"Oliver, you've been inside me, spilled your seed in me. You put your baby inside me. You've done much worse things to me. I think they can handle a kiss. Unless you haven't got the balls for—"

Before she could even finish, her lips absorbed his meaningful suck. She smirked mid kiss, so proud of him. An angry murmur hissed from afar, but neither cared. They kept sucking on each other, even if no tongue was brave enough to make the round trip.

"Now what do you say we go eat something?" Ellie whispered after breaking their beautiful kiss. "And maybe after, we can give them a few more reasons to hate you?"

Her brother chuckled. "Works for me."

***

July

"Morning, Mom."

"Morning, baby. How did you sleep?"

"So-so." Ellie stroked her hair back and sat by the kitchen island. "The little guy or gal have been acting up."

Alice rose with a knowing laugh. "Tea?"

"Actually"—she palmed her mouth as she yawned—"coffee would be great. Strong."

"Coming right up."

Ellie had spent the night at her folks'. Oliver was taking Michela to a day of fun at the amusement park, and Ellie had thought it to be a good opportunity to spend some time with her mother, the way they'd used to before she'd taken up spreading her legs for her baby brother.

"So, what do you feel like doing today, Mom? Shopping? Movies?"

"As long as I have you for the whole day, we can do whatever you want." She served her daughter her coffee and kissed the top of her head. "I was thinking that we should take a few days off work and go somewhere, like a nice resort."

Ellie carefully sipped the steaming coffee. "What, like... just the two of us?"

Alice sat beside her and stroked the length of her daughter's magnificent golden hair. "Yeah. If you want, we can take Gena with us, too. What do you say? Just three of us girls, unwinding, no guy in sight..."

Ellie giggled, her hands clasping the hot mug. "Yeah, I don't think so, Mom."

"What? Why not?"

"Because... well, what about Michela?"

"I'd love for her to come! If you could convince him."

Oliver was no longer called by his Christian name by his mother. He'd lost that privilege the second he'd entered her daughter.

"Yeah, good luck with that. And even if I somehow managed to convince him, she wouldn't wanna go without him. You know how they are."

"Okay. Then take a break from them for a few days."

"Mom, I really appreciate the offer, but I'm gonna have to pass."

Alice withdrew her fingers from Ellie's disheveled mane, frustrated. "You know, Ellie, I have only one daughter, and I miss her. I miss my best friend."

Ellie gave her mother a smile and lovingly stroked her arm. "I miss you, too, Mom."

"Then do this for me! Let's go somewhere, anywhere you want; my treat! We'll get one of those full-body massages, and we'll—"

"Mom, I can't. I really can't."

"Why?!"

Ellie crossed her long, slim legs and brought the mug to her lips. "I can't leave Oliver. Okay?"

"What do you mean you can't leave him? He's a grown man. I'm sure he can handle a few days—"

"It's not that..."

"What is it then?!"

"Mom, Oliver... he really needs me now."

"Needs you?" Alice echoed in puzzlement. "What do you mean by that?"

"Well... I'll tell you, but you can't say anything to him."

"Baby, I barely talk to him; you know that."

Ellie gritted her teeth in reply, her nostrils flaring.

Alice only meant to sound trustworthy, but it stung Ellie, because her family was still holding grudge against her boyfriend.

"Ellie?"

Ellie chugged her coffee and shuffled to her irate mother. "Okay, so... Oliver isn't handling the pregnancy very well. He's really scared, and as the weeks go by, it's getting worse to the point of... phobia."

Alice's scowl-made wrinkles softened, and before she knew it, her mature, blue eyes succumbed to empathy. It plucked at her heartstrings to think of what he'd gone through and must be going through now, and a sudden wave of motherly compassion swept over her, to the point that her resentment toward him muddled considerably. He may have wronged and hurt her, but he was still her son, her baby boy.

She stared down at an insignificant coffee stain on the countertop before she gave her thumb a suck and started obsessively scouring it off, her eyes glistening and thoughtful. "What do you mean by phobia?"

Ellie teared up at the quiver in her mother's murmur. She could tell that this was immensely paining her. "He dragged me down to the hospital in the middle of the night, three times this month, because he thought I looked sickly, or anemic, or... I can't show, even a hint of discomfort around him; it will send him stressing. He's been having problems sleeping. He'd be getting up at night and go for a run, and sometimes, he wouldn't come back till sunrise; other times, he would watch me sleeping the whole night just to make sure that everything was okay with me. He's been calling me nonstop at work; he's been moody; he doesn't eat well—or at all—sometimes for days... it's really getting bad, Mom."

Alice swallowed as she kept absently scrutinizing the long-perished coffee smudge, her head bobbing, almost robotically. She swallowed again, her throat smothered with tears. "What do you think we"—she cleared her throat—"um, you should do?"

"I don't know," Ellie muttered achingly. "I wanna help him so badly, but he's not letting me. He won't even admit there's a problem."

Alice jerked her head toward her daughter, almost glowering. "So you have tried talking to him."

Ellie nodded. "It's pointless. Oliver... he doesn't talk about his fears or his pain, especially not with me, never with me. He thinks it makes him weak, like he's... not man enough."

Alice nodded, all too aware of what her daughter was taking about. "Your father is the same. He never lets me worry, about anything."

"So I can't leave him, Mom; it would drive him nuts. He needs to be able to monitor me. That's the only thing that seems to help him. It gives him a fake sense of control."

"My god," Alice sighed and pulled her hair back as she looked out through the glass patio door. "He must be so scared."

"He's terrified. He won't admit it, but... I worry about him, Mom. I didn't sleep all that great last tonight, but it wasn't because of the baby. He kept me up for half the night on the phone."

Alice fretted her bottom lip, feeling for her son. "He doesn't trust you're safe with me?"

"It's not you. He doesn't trust anyone. Not when it comes to me."

Roaring silence fell as the two women brooded some more.

Finally, Alice dropped her palm on the countertop and lurched off her stool, a look of resolution on her face. "Get dressed. I've got just the thing for us to do today."

***

"Are you sure it's okay that we spend the night?" Oliver whispered in his girlfriend's ear, his daughter sleeping in his arms. "And in the same room?"

Late in the evening, Alice opened the front door and invited them in while standing patiently in the doorway.

Ellie smiled at her brother and strutted in.

Oliver glanced at his mother. She had that unmistakable look on her face that was both soft and maternal. Growing up, it was an expression she made whenever he'd worried her. He didn't know what to make of it, but it was oodles better than the glower she'd been giving him ever since she learned about him and Ellie. He flashed a nervous smile at her, almost imperceptible, and followed Ellie while shrouded in his sleeping daughter.

Alice and Ellie had surprised Michela by joining them at the amusement park. Oliver had been a simmering cauldron of relief and anxiety when the two blondes approached them by the carousel. A burden lifted off his shoulders now that Ellie was there. He'd been worried sick about her, and for no apparent reason; on the other hand, he hadn't been on his mother's good side for quite a while. In fact, his family had been openly hostile towards him, so something was definitely up.

"Baby, let me," Ellie said softly, offering to carry Michela up the stairs to their room.

"Are you nuts? There's no—"

"Oliver, let me. It won't hurt me or the baby, I promise." She kept her arms extended forth. "Please."

Ellie could see the conflict in his eyes, so she reached for Michela, and her brother only relented when his daughter was sleeping awkwardly between them. His eyes followed his sister's backside in distinct consternation, as if she were about to tumble down the stairs any second.

"Pour me some ice tea while I tuck her in."

He nodded but didn't stir until she reached upstairs safely. He started toward the kitchen, but his paces slowed when he noticed his mother. She was seated by the island, almost expecting him. He swiftly averted his eyes and opened the fridge to fetch the bottle of ice—

"Oliver."

He slowly pivoted to Alice. They may have spent the day together, but this was the first time his mother acknowledged him. Months of anger and detachment had claimed their toll, so the two kept quiet, their eyes measuring one another.

"How've you been?" Alice forced out.

"Okay. You?"

"With all things considered... okay."

They both knew what all things considered meant, but there wasn't a bitter note in his mother's voice. There was a glimpse of acceptance, a pinch of sadness, lots of pain, but... no bitterness.

"Dad?"

"He's... not so well."

Oliver nodded, the thought wringing his heart.

Again, this was a bitter-free reply, an abstract painting of the reality he and his sister had brought down on this family.

"Do you think he'll"—he swallowed, pouring his sister a glass of ice tea—"ever talk to me again?"

"At the moment, it's hard to tell." She took a deep breath through her nose. "This is very difficult for him. After all, he has only one daughter."

Her son bobbed his head again, his lips jutting out in a thoughtful yet aching frown.

"But maybe after the baby is born, he'll..."

Oliver gave his mother a soft, grateful smile. She was talking to him. She was making a genuine effort here.

Alice smiled back, a broader smile than her son had given her. "So, how are you?"

He propped his back against the fridge and crossed his feet. "I'm good. Great, actually."

"Oliver"—his mother bore into his eyes, no longer smiling—"I ask again: how are you?"

Oliver surveyed his mother's face, suspecting his sister had said something to her, before he forced out a grin. "Never been better."

Of all Alice's sons, her youngest was undoubtedly the hardest to read, practically a vault when he chose to. Nevertheless, he forgot one thing: he was her son. She'd carried him for almost ten months and raised him for over seventeen years. He may be a different man than that boy who'd left six years ago, but a mother knows. And Alice knew he was lying to her now; she didn't need Ellie to tell her that. He was putting on a show for her, she could tell, but she would break into that vault. She would tear his mask off, and in a matter of seconds.

She rose to her feet and walked up to him. "She'll be fine."

Oliver nodded. "I know."

She inched closer to him. "Every three seconds or so, a baby is born."

"I know."

She stood next him. "Nothing's going to happen to her."

"I know."

She cupped his left cheek, her eyes radiating warmth and compassion. "She'll be fine."

"I know."

There it was -- the first chink in the armor, Alice knew. Her son had replied thrice the same, but there had been a subtle quiver in his voice the fourth time, a quiver that hadn't been present in the first three.

"Oliver... she'll be fine."

Her son bobbed his head silently, as if afraid to give away the tears in his throat.

She stroked his cheek with her thumb while palming his chest. "She'll be fine."

Oliver let out a soft sigh, his eyes filling with tears.

Alice teared up herself, as though she could see the images running through his head. "She'll be fine."

His shoulders now heaved as he sighed. He shut his eyes, only briefly, and a single tear slowly trickled down his cheek when they opened. Alice's eyes mirrored his. She could never suffer either of her children hurting.

"You want to hear something funny?"

Judging by the pain in his low, husky murmur and the tremble that passed from his chest to the palm of her hand, Alice already knew that whatever her baby boy was going to say, funny -- it wouldn't be.

"While we waited outside, those were the exact words Antonio said to me: she'll be fine." He bit on his bottom lip, tears slowly coursing down from his eyes. "But that wasn't even the... the funny part. You see, the funny part was what I said."

"What did you say?"

"I know." He wiped off his tears and shrugged. "She was already gone by that time. Ha-ha. Joke's on me."

Alice sighed, his ache sending painful pangs within her. "Oliver, I may not understand everything there is to understand, and I certainly don't understand you and Ellie, but I understand your pain and doubt. And while God may not agree with what you two are doing... he wouldn't do that to you twice."

Her son snickered, his tears as bitter as his laugh. "Wouldn't he, Mom?"

"Sleeping like a..." Ellie trailed off as she entered the kitchen, her beautiful smile waning at the sight of her brother and mother standing by the fridge, obviously in the throes of a very difficult conversation.

Oliver wiped his tears away as quickly as possible and walked past his girlfriend. "I'm going for a walk. Don't wait up."

***

"Guess what? I'm at the house, and there's no you, no Michela, and no Mom."

"We're ten minutes away."

"I know that, but you're not moving."

"You're checking up on me on that app again? I swear, I'll turn off the GPS."

"Don't even joke about it."

"Baby, we stopped for coffee real quick. Get yourself a beer and kick back, okay? I love you."