The Trade: Elswyth

"What are you up to?" he demanded. "What are you hiding?"

"What? Nothing! What would I hide?"

"You are acting... strangely. As if you are trying to hide something from me."

"Like what?"

"If I knew I would not ask, would I?" He stood looking down at her a moment, then turned and went back into her room, looking around.

"What are you doing?" she demanded, terrified. "Get out!"

"What are you hiding? Are you trying to find a way to get away?" he growled, looking around. He yanked her bedclothes off her bed, tossed her pillows aside, threw the book aside without even looking at it, then upended the mattress before going to the dresser and the empty drawers. He opened her bags and dumped them on the floor as she stared in shock. She could see the book laying out on the floor, plain as day, but he hadn't even looked at it. He had passed it by as unimportant.

"You are cleaning all of that up!" she yelled as he dumped her last bag.

"You should have unpacked by now anyway! What are you hiding?"

"Nothing! You startled me! I was reading and didn't know what time it was!" she cried, picking up the book she had set by the door and throwing it at him.

He caught it, then bulled up. "What did I tell you about raising a hand to harm me?" he asked quietly. Dangerously.

"I didn't! That's a book! And I wasn't trying to hurt you or I would have thrown it harder! I was just showing you, you big mean ape! You are going to pick all of that up and fold everything like I had it!"

He cocked his head as his eyes took her in, then slowly stalked towards her. She stood her ground right up until the last two steps and her nerve left her. She fluttered back into the hub and up, out of his reach.

"I have warned you against flying," he whispered darkly.

"You cannot force me to be what I am not! And you said I couldn't fly in the cavern, not here! I would not forbid you to use your feet or your translocation!"

"If I must retrieve you from there, you will not leave your room or see your tree for a month!"

Elswyth dropped to the floor, glaring up at him as he stalked up to her and grabbed her arm.

"You will not run from me!"

"Then stop trying to scare me into running!"

"Tell me what you are hiding from me!"

"Me! I am hiding me from you! You frighten me and I knew it was you! I did not wish to see you! I never wish to see you!"

He growled and shoved her away from him, then turned and stormed away.

Elswyth did not follow, instead she went back to her room and began picking up, putting her clothes away and making her bed.

He returned shortly with an older woman. "This is her. I wish you to bind her wings so she cannot fly," he told the woman.

"No!" Elswyth cried, backing against the wall fearfully. "Please! You cannot do this! I came down when you said to and I promised not to fly in the cavern! Please don't do this!"

She fled from the woman and shot into the air, trying to get passed Azazel to the door, but he snatched her ankle and yanked her down to the floor and pinned her beneath him.

"Please!" she begged, sobbing hysterically. "I will do all you ask, you cannot do this thing! My wings are part of me!"

He said nothing, only rolled her to her stomach and held her down while the woman knelt and put hands on her wings.

Elswyth screamed in loss as she felt the binding settle in place and her wings paralyzed. She couldn't even feel them.

The woman stood and left, then he stood, releasing her, but she stayed on the floor sobbing. He left her there, slamming her door shut and locking it.

When he returned that night, she was still there on the floor, staring unseeing at the stone.

"Get up!" he demanded. "I brought you food, you will get up and eat!"

She did not answer or move.

"I said get up!" he yelled, yanking her up off the floor and setting her in a chair.

She still did not move, even to save herself as she tumbled off the chair as she slid to the side. He barely caught her and saved her skull from cracking on the stone.

"What is wrong with you? Get up and eat! You'll not be unbound until you tell me the truth of what you were planning! Elswyth!" He shook her as he yelled at her, but she didn't even flinch or blink. She stared unseeing through his shoulder as her head hung limply. He laid her across the end of the bed and paced, working himself and his anger up.

"Zay?" Bela called softly from the door. "What has happened?"

"She is impossible! I cannot control her!"

"Then do not try, Zay. Let her be who she is?"

"I cannot! She is being false with me and I cannot abide that!"

"Elswyth? El? Zay, what is wrong with her? I cannot even sense her mind?"

"She is angry with me and will not respond to me."

"It is more, Zay! She is full of despair! What have you done to her?!?"

"Bound her wings until she tells me the truth. I do not like her flitting about and running from me."

"Zay! You cannot treat your wife this way! Would you allow your father to treat me so? Look at her! Her life force is draining from her! If you do not fix this, she will be gone by morning!"

"She must listen to me! I cannot relent and let her have her way!"

"This is NOT some tantrum, Azazel! This girl dies as you watch! Will you allow it to happen? Are you so stubborn that you would let her die for this perceived slight?"

"It is not perceived! She lied to me! To my face! I know she did!"

"And it is such an important thing she lied about?"

"I... I don't know. She will not tell me."

"Azazel! You... you were given a gift with this girl, a true and rare and wondrous gift... and you would throw it away for an unknown fib? Why do you assume she lied to you? What makes you so sure?"

"She was upset, her heart racing and she was acting guilty when I came in this morning. I asked her why and she lied."

"What did she say?"

"She was reading."

"Was she?"

"She had a book in her hand, but she had been doing something else, something she was hiding!"

Bela let out a breath, then almost laughed. "What book was it? Zay... she was probably reading a love story and did not want you to know! If she were reading something... exciting and you startled her, she would be embarrassed. Too embarrassed to tell you. You... you are truly torturing your wife for this, my Zay?"

"I am not torturing her, I bound her wings so she could not run from me!"

"For her, that is torture. Undo it, Zay. Call Beatrix in and have her release the binding, please? Or this girl will be gone before morning. Her will is waning completely. If you have any care for her at all, you will do it now."

Azazel let out an angry breath, then disappeared.

Elswyth blinked up at the sky. The real sky.

She was in the cavern, near the tree. Her tree. There was a small cot next to it and a pillow and blanket that she was laying on. She sat up and immediately felt her wings as they fluttered. Excitement rushed through her as she lifted off the bed slightly, but she didn't fly. She didn't know where Azazel was, but she had sworn not to fly here. She moved to the bowl near her and picked up an apple as she sat next to the tree to say hello.

She spent several quiet hours there with her tree, not talking the whole time, just being close. She even pulled the cot closer and fell back to sleep with her hand against the trunk.

In a half dream, half vision, she saw Azazel walk up to her cot and look down at her, then kneel and touch her hair. Her hair held a fascination to him and he leaned in close to breathe her in. She smelled like sunlight and carefree afternoons in summer. She saw him stroke her hair through the trees eyes even as she felt it happening. It was a strange thing to both watch him and feel him.

He lifted her free hand to his face and closed his eyes, pressing her fingers to his cheek. He longed to be touched that way... to be cared for and wanted.

He was not something or someone who could be wanted and he was not someone who was able to want. His senses... they were not like other peoples.

He wanted desperately for Elswyth to care for him, but he was also terrified that she would. She would care and he would make her his wife in truth and then she would be ruined. He would not be able to be near her ever again without being repulsed by her.

He did not know if it was so, he had never been with a woman so he did not know if his own seed would rot in her womb and reek of death to his senses, he only knew what he sensed from other males on women. He was afraid it would be true though, and he did not want to spoil her, even as much as he wanted to feel her hands on his skin.

Elswyth forced herself to wake, not liking all of these intruding thoughts.

As soon as she opened her eyes, he released her hand and sat up as if he had not been touching her. "You are awake," he snapped coldly.

"Thank you for giving me my wings back and bringing me here. Letting me stay here as you did."

He blushed and gave her a minute nod.

"I did not fly at all when I woke, as I said I would not. I would like to ask permission though, to fly for just a moment? Spread my wings and reach his top? I will come right back."

He scowled, but stood up and stepped back, giving her room. "Only this once and not too long. Come down if I say it is long enough."

She only nodded and took off, zipping up the height of the cavern and circling the top of the tree before slowing and taking hold near the top so she could look down and show him how beautiful the view was looking down. The crystalline waters, the lighted cavern, it was all so beautiful.

Pleasure exuded from the oak and she smiled and slowly lowered herself back to the ground, brushing his limbs as she passed through. She spied the cot and thought of Wren and she got an idea.

"Azazel?"

"I told you that you may call me Zay."

"You can make a thing grow, like the tree, can you only make it grow, or can you shape it?"

"Why do you ask?"

"I wanted to ask a favor of you. I wish a sort of nest in the tree, down low here. A hollow in which to sit and perhaps snuggle in to read a book."

"You cannot live here, El," he told her, shaking his head.

"I know. I only mean for when I visit. You have duties, yes? Can you... bring me here before your duties and retrieve me after? If I promise to never leave the cavern and just stay with my tree?"

"These favors you ask... yet you will not tell me the truth if I ask it of you."

"The truth is it is none of your business," she told him, with no anger in her voice. "Some secrets are mine to keep if they do not harm you or have anything to do with you. It affects you in no way at all, I do promise you that. It is private. Leave it at that."

"Why could you not simply say that?"

"Why couldn't you let it go? Why did you have to embarrass me and get angry instead?" she asked, her temper flaring.

He let out an exasperated breath and threw up his hands. "You are impossible!"

"Will you do it or not?" she asked, her cheeks red with barely controlled anger.

"What do I get if I do?" he asked, crossing his arms.

She immediately thought of Ranger and the kiss he had wanted in trade and she blushed. "What do you want?"

He looked over her face as her anger dissolved into embarrassment and her cheeks suffused with a stunning blush. She had something on her mind and he wondered what it was.

"What is it worth to you?" he asked curiously.

"A great deal... coming every day, or at least the days you are gone. I... I would trade a kiss for every trip here."

"A kiss?" he asked, surprised. "You assume I would want that?"

She looked up at him in confused shock, and then embarrassment as she bulled up.

He moved on quickly. "Very well. For the tree? It is a lot of work to change something, even as large as it already is, shaping out a hollow for you... it might take several passes over several days to make it as you wish it."

"If not a kiss... than what?" she asked, her tiny hands balled into fists.

He looked her over and wondered how much a kiss meant to her. She seemed to set great store by it, offering such a small thing, usually freely given and often, as payment for something that was dear to her. Were her kind so... frigid? It was no wonder there were so few children among them. "We can speak of that later. I cannot do it now at any rate, I am about to go and see to my duties. Think on what you might like to trade for such an undertaking. For now... I wish you to return with me and have dinner with my family. They keep asking after you and you have not spent much time among them. They feel slighted by you."

"Did you tell them you have been keeping me locked in my room?" she demanded.

"I did. I told them you were acting abominably and were being punished like a child. Will you start behaving as you should? Or should I bring these comforts back with us since they will not be needed here?"

"Leave them!" she said quickly.

He nodded slightly, then paused. "And the other?"

"The other?"

"My payment. For bringing you?"

"Now?" she asked faintly.

"When else? Am I to tally them all up and collect them all at once at the end of the week?"

She blushed again, her face going bright red as she looked up at him. "You will either have to sit down or allow me to fly again," she barely whispered.

"You may fly, for a moment," he conceded, watching her.

She looked up at him, her wings barely moving as she clenched her fists. She took a deep breath, then darted up and pecked his cheek quickly before flitting away and landing several feet back, hugging herself.

"What was that?" he asked, confused.

"A kiss."

"That... was not a kiss."

"It was! I kissed your cheek!"

"No... El. A kiss as a wife to husband on the lips. A true kiss."

"You would force more of me?!? Truly? Are you so crass and..."

"What I am, El, is your husband. In case you have forgotten. Nevermind. I find I have no wish for that trade. Let's go," he snapped, taking her arm and translocating away with her to her room. "Change and clean up," he demanded. "I will wait outside."

"Azazel!" she cried fearfully. "Will you still take me to see him?"

He paused, glaring back at her. "You would still ask for favors from a husband you cannot bear to even kiss? A husband you would trade kisses to as if they are currency that you must give? A husband and wife should kiss on a whim, because they wish it, not because they are forced to or they wish something in return."

"Then why did you ask me what I would trade?!? I don't understand what you want from me?"

"Perhaps I only wanted an invitation to come with you sometimes. An invitation to sleep next to you in bed. An hour of your time without you flaring up at me as if I have done you a personal wrong."

"You have! You have done me a personal wrong, Azazel! I wished to bond another and he wished to bond me and you refused it! You stole me away to this hell instead!"

"It is not a wrong! I won the trade competition, I got to choose! You gave up your right to choose when you were summoned for the Trade and you know it! You knew that you would be bound to whoever won you!"

"No! No I did not! I never agreed to the Trade and I did not know of it! I was forced to it, packed up and carried into it bound. Literally! They had to bind me to get them there! I did not want to be there and I was given no choice in the matter! My only hope, my single chance at happiness was taken from me by you! A creature who cheated and stole me!"

"A creature, is it?" he asked, trembling. "Very well, Elswyth."

He disappeared and she stood there, clutching her stomach. She knew she had said a horrible thing to him, but she refused to go and try to apologize. She wanted to go home! Or to be with Wren. Anywhere had to be better than this tomb!

She curled up on her bed and cried. Not just for her loss, but for how horribly she had treated Azazel and the look in his eyes before he had gone.

Her dreams that night were sad and fitful and she woke up still feeling tired. She hardly ate from her bowl of fruit, then paced a while before trying the door. It was locked as she knew it would be.

She read, then paced again, then slept and ate and did it all again. A few days passed and her bowl was empty. Did he mean to starve her out?

The fourth day, when she pounded on her door and tried it, it opened. There was a small table with a pitcher and a bowl of fruit, as well as bread and cheese. She tried to go to the main hall, but every single hall took her back to her own hub.

She knocked on his door, but there was no answer. Nor the other two doors and every door but hers was locked.

A week passed and she didn't see another soul. After another week, there was a stack of books on the table as well as food. She stayed out in the hub, hoping to see someone pass or see someone in the halls, but there was no one.

A slow month passed and she was miserable. She had taken to sleeping in the hub in the hopes of catching whoever was bringing the food and books, but she never did.

She was curled up on her side in her bed when Dabria poked her head in.

Elswyth sat up quickly, looking at her in shock. "Hi! Oh my gosh, I thought he was leaving me here to rot forever! Thank you for coming! What is happening? Can I come out now?"

Dabria smiled slightly and peeked back the way she had come, putting her finger to her lips. "He doesn't know I'm here, but... he is so miserable. I... someone had to come and check on you. Mother is afraid you might do yourself in soon. He is wretched with worry and just sick with what you said to him. He won't come see you... but... Are you sorry, El? For what you said to him?"

"Yes! Truly, I am, but he said some mean things too!"

"I believe it, but he is sick over you thinking him such a worthless creature because he isn't as beautiful as your topside brethren. We are death and hated by so many and it affects him more than most. We are not beautiful and full of light and life... but we are deserving of some love and respect, El."

"But... but he is beautiful! He is so handsome! You are all so beautiful! Doesn't he know that?"

"We know how we look to all of you above. Pale and gray and dark. Death is loved by none."

Elswyth shook her head, but she knew arguing would do her no good. "I am sorry I hurt him, truly I am. How can I tell him?"

"If you truly wish to go to him... I will take you... but you cannot tell him it was me!"

"I won't!"

"Come with me then," she whispered, leading Elswyth down the hall to another hub. It was different. There was only the single hall and one door in this hub. Dabria pointed, then turned and went back the way she had come.

Elswyth stood a moment and built her courage, then quickly tried to twist her curls into some sort of order, then finally went to the door and peeked in.

She knew the room, she had seen it in his memory dream. It was where he trained and he had met with Lilith. She stepped in and watched him as he seemed to dance. He punched and rolled and kicked at nothing, moving in a fluid motion that was obviously a pattern that he had practiced. He wore nothing but his loose pants and he was a true vision. She watched him for a long time, just standing there in awe, not speaking or interrupting.

It was him landing a jump facing her that made him finally aware of her. He stood up slowly, his eyes burning into her. He took a slow step towards her, then another and another.

"How did you get here?" he demanded.

"I... I wanted to see you. I wanted... I said a horrible thing to you, Azazel, a thing I did not mean. I was angry and I lashed out. I did not mean it. You... you are right. You won me and it was your right to choose. I was so focused on what I lost and what I wanted, I refused to see anything else. I'm sorry. I... just wanted to say that to you. I didn't mean what I said, not at all. You have been good to me in many ways, and kind. You even brought me to a special place when you did not have to... and... look at you, Azazel. You are a vision. So beautiful and dark and lovely... you are like a sculpture made of white marble. I thought that the first time I saw you up close, you were so perfect."