The Trade: Elswyth

He blinked in confusion and canted his head, the anger slipping away for a moment. "You aren't lying," he whispered, truly shocked.

"Of course I'm not. I told you that you were beautiful and you dismissed me as if I were pandering. I was not. I don't know why you think you are not, but don't you own a mirror? You are like some beautiful dark god. But that doesn't matter... I came to say I was sorry for what I said to you. Ask you to please forgive me."

"Why? What do you want? Freedom? Your tree?"

"Just you to forgive me," she shrugged. "And maybe come back and see me again. If you still want to."

"Who led you here?"

"You said hallways were attuned to want or need. Could it not be that I just wanted to see you badly enough?"

"Pretty words, El, but no. I had you bound to that hive. Someone, one of my kind, had to breach it."

"Say that is so, we spoke once about how a girl sometimes has to have her secrets? I needed to see you, to apologize to you and here I am. The how does not matter. I will give you time to think and if you decide you can forgive me, I will be in my room. I hope I will see you soon?"

"You cannot leave. You are still bound and can go nowhere without an escort."

"I see. I will sit quietly until you are done then and you can put me back."

"I will take you now," he snapped. He jerked up his bundle of clothes and stormed out, leaving her to follow him. She flew to catch up and stayed right behind him as he stormed down the hall to their hub.

He rounded on her in front of her door. "No matter who comes, you will not leave here again unless I come for you personally, do you understand?"

"Yes," she answered softly.

He turned and started down another hall.

"Azazel?" she called quickly.

"What, Elswyth?" he demanded, not looking at her.

"Will you come later? To see me? Speak to me?"

He stood still for a moment, looking down, then walked away without answering.

She sighed and went to her room. In the hopes that he might show up, she sat and fixed her hair, put on her only dress and tried to look as presentable as she was able. She went out to the hub with a book to wait for him and he was already there. He was leaning on the far wall, watching her door.

He stood off the wall when she came out and she looked at him in surprise, then smiled. "You came!"

"Are you truly sorry or do you only wish your freedom again?" he demanded.

"I am truly sorry, Azazel. Of course I wish my freedom again, but that is not why I am sorry. I said a horrible thing to hurt you and it did. We have both been hurtful to each other and I wish to remedy that. I wish to come to know you. Speak to you and spend time with you so we may come to an understanding and an agreement."

"Agreement," he spat. "More of your bargaining? Trading kisses for things you want?"

"No, Azazel. I... I don't understand what it is you want from me, but I understand that my offer of a kiss offended you. It seemed a fair trade to me at the time, but it upset you and... I would like to understand why. That is why I wish to come to know you. To understand you and to come together in our understanding of each other. I truly thought you would wish a kiss..."

"A kiss is to be freely given by two people who care for each other, it is not to be bartered with!"

"As you said... but you still wish a kiss although we have no care for each other?"

He recoiled, looking upset again.

"Didn't you? Did I misunderstand that? That even though you do not like me so much, you still wished to kiss me?"

He canted his head again as if trying to read her. "You understand nothing," he snarled angrily.

"So explain it! Please! That is why I wished to speak to you, I wish to understand you! I am asking you, please, to explain it to me. We are so very different, you and I! If you would only just explain things to me..."

"I should not have to explain what should be understood by anyone!"

"Azazel! We are so different! Please stop being angry that I do not understand you and just tell me?"

He crossed the room in three long strides to look down at her, his face a mask of anger as the black mist spread and swirled on his face. "You are my WIFE," he hissed. "I should not have to explain to you what the duties of a wife are! That I should not have to trade for kisses or... anything else!"

Elswyth stepped back, blushing. "And yet you have not come to me in a tender and loving way to act as a husband should either. You have not offered me a groomsgift or taken me to the heights to declare your intentions before the sun and moon in the treetops. You have not offered me a bough of your lineage to meld with a bough of my own. You have done NONE of these things that it is KNOWN a husband should do for his new bride and I have not held it against you. Because I KNOW that our ways are not your ways. As you should know that your ways are not my ways! I cannot know if you do not tell me!" she cried, then turned and fled to her room, sobbing.

She had tried! She had tried to be kind and reason with him and he was just so angry! He was just angry and hateful and wanted to be miserable! He wanted her to be miserable too!

She cried until she had no tears left, then she lay sniffling as she hugged herself.

Her bed moved ever so slightly and she froze. She felt him, moving on her bed next to her, but not touching her. She lifted her head and looked over her shoulder and she could see he was sitting up on the other side of the bed, his feet propped up. She didn't turn enough to see his face, she turned back the way she had been facing and laid her head back down.

"What I speak of is universal, Elswyth."

"You assume that to be so, yet it must not be as I do not know it."

"Even for your kind... though perhaps not to you. You are... a different creature. Your fellow was very different from you, he had been with several women. I assumed that because your kind are well versed, you would be as well. I should have realized you might not be since... you retain your innocence where no one else had. "

"When I called you a creature, you took great offence, yet I am not to take the same offence when you say it of me?"

"I did not mean it in a derisive way and we both know it. Do not change the subject. I am speaking of sex, Elswyth. Passion, lovemaking, sealing our bond. A thing that is universal to all of our kind, even if you do not wish to consider it. You blush when I say the word and your heart races... you are so ashamed of it. A kiss is not a thing to trade when you are bound. It is natural that I would want what should be given freely from you... That I would want to share that with you... It is natural that I would want to share a great deal more with you than a kiss, Elswyth."

She squeezed her eyes shut, her face heating with horror and shame.

He was quiet for a moment, then he put a hand on her shoulder to try and turn her to face him.

She curled up into a ball, whimpering in fear.

He moved slightly, stretching out and turning to lay on his side, trying to coax her into turning to face him.

She covered her face and balled up even smaller, shaking her head fearfully.

"You said you wished us to come to an understanding. Turn to me, El. I would have a kiss from you, if you meant what you said. I wish to show you what I want from my wife."

"Please..." she whispered. "I wanted to talk! Not... more!"

"Turn and look at me," he coaxed, pulling her shoulder and forcing her to face him. He was not being rough, but she could not get out of his grip either. He was strong and unyielding as he pressed her shoulder to the bed and pried her arms away from her head. "Look at me," he chided gently.

It was the fact that he wasn't angry that made her peek at him.

He looked... sad. He ached with need and it had more to do with acceptance than actually doing the things he had spoken of.

"Azazel!" she whispered. "Please... For tonight... for now... can it just be a kiss and not more? I am afraid! And... please? Could you just hold me against you and stay with me? I am not ready for more yet... but I want you to be close? Would that be alright? Please?"

He was still for a long time, then he finally laid next to her and pulled her against him without a word. He did not try to kiss her, he only put his massive arms around her and hugged her to his chest.

She closed her eyes and let out a slow breath, then slowly let herself relax. After a moment, she opened her eyes and looked over the tattoos on his chest. She slid her hand up and traced the whirling pattern with her finger and let herself relax even more. His hand moved to her hair and his fingers dug into it, holding and stroking and clutching as he took in deep breaths of it and her.

"Why do you do that?" she asked softly. "You always smell my hair."

"It... is where your smell is strongest. When you think things, imagine things... I can smell it in your hair. When you dream of things, I can smell what you dream. The sunshine, the outside, your happiness. It is stronger in you than it has ever been on anyone."

"Is that why you chose me?"

"One of the reasons?"

"The other being that I have never... done the things you spoke of. You knew that, yet got angry that I did not understand those things and do not want them? That makes little sense."

"I wish you to want them with your husband," he admitted haltingly. "As any wife should."

"I... will be ready at some point... I just..."

"I am not the bird boy," he grated.

Elswyth blushed. "Even if it had been Wren, I would be afraid with him too."

"Yet you would have allowed him to take you and show you."

"You don't know that!"

"I do. He has not taken the water girl yet, but only because he cannot. They are not... compatible in that way. They can never bear children. Only water, fire and shadow can procreate with a water female. He thinks he saved her, but in reality he doomed her to a life with nothing. No love, no children to bear, no family. She is alone and has nothing. At least with fire she would have borne him many children and been happy with them. Instead, he will take another to his bed and leave the water girl alone in her small pond with nothing. He will end her soon. She is among my lists."

"Your lists?"

"Of souls."

"You will kill her?!?"

"He will end her. I will be there to guide her soul to a new host. It is what we do."

"There is no way to stop it from happening?"

"With fire she would have had her anger, and then her children to love. Now she has nothing. He did not save her, he ended her and he does not even care. He will take another to his bed and will take her as a wife once the water girl is gone, after he poisons her."

"You truly know all of this?"

"Yes... the lists. And I see a great deal of everything when I am reaping souls."

"That is how you knew so much of everyone... you have seen everyone because you reap souls. Did you see me?"

"No. I pay little attention to those who live when I am above. I had special reason to watch that one."

"So that you could tell me that he isn't all I had hoped he would be?"

"For another reason, but it does not matter. You think it is that reason and you will not be convinced otherwise. Do not flare your anger at me."

"I didn't!"

"I can smell it."

"I can't help what I think, but I didn't act on it! If you want me to smell like you want, then talk of something else! You like the sun and outside so much, talk about that!"

"I will speak of something else. Of the kiss I intend to have from you... tasting your lips and feeling their soft sweetness against mine own. Sliding my hands over your bare skin and feeling every trembling shiver as I make you cry out for me..."

"Azazel!"

"There is shame... but I also smell more," he breathed. "Excitement, desire, yearning. You want me to show you. You want to explore me as I explore you and taste me as I taste you."

"Stop!" she pleaded as his hands made tight fists in her hair and he curled around her to breathe all of her in.

"I can smell your real excitement! The flow of juices between your thighs that will welcome me as I take you! The way you burn and ache for me... I can... Elswyth!"

"STOP!" she wailed, making him jerk, then let her go, his hands springing away in surprise.

"El?" he asked breathlessly, thumbing away her tears.

She pulled away from him and rolled with her back to him as she trembled and sobbed. "I didn't like that! You were too rough and you hurt me!"

He knew he had, he had strands of her hair caught in his hands from where he had pulled too hard. He had lost control completely for a moment when the scent had captured him and assaulted him. It had been heady and intoxicating.

He hesitantly touched her shoulder and she flinched away. He calmly tried to coax her back to his arms, but gave up after a moment. It was probably for the best anyway.

He slipped out, leaving her alone in her room, smelling of wild fear and confusion.

Elswyth lay alone and shivering, trying to sort her feelings and calm herself.

Why couldn't she have just been allowed to stay with her trees? She bothered no one, did nothing wrong! Why did they have to come and take her away and allow her to be taken to this horrible place?

She sobbed, not wanting to be forced into solitude again, but too afraid to allow him to do as he wished with her. If it had to be one or the other, she would rather be alone.

Wouldn't she?

A gentle hand woke her, but she still flinched away from it.

"Come and eat," Azazel spoke softly.

She sat up and rubbed her eyes, looking at him in confusion. "I can leave here?"

"Come," he repeated, catching her arm lightly and nudging her gently, as if he were being especially careful of her today.

She allowed him to guide her out of her room and to the main hub as she tried to bring order to her tangled curls.

Everyone stopped and stared at her and Bela stood, looking down at her in shock. "Zay! She looks so... pale and sick! Malnourished and wan! You must take her above your next trip up, she needs the sunlight!"

"Not the next trip," he said quickly, anxiously.

"Yes, Azazel!" Damon told him with a scowl. "You cannot keep her down here and never allow her above! She will sicken and perish. She needs the sun and fresh air."

"Father..."

"No arguments! She will go with you tomorrow."

Azazel grimaced, but said nothing else as he led Elswyth to her chair, still piled high with cushions.

"El..." Bela said soothingly, stroking her hair in a motherly way. "Are you well? You must not say horrible things to him, he has such a temper. Please say you will not anger him again?"

"I... why should I only beware his temper and not he mine? Are we not equals? I hate this place where I am expected to defer to him because he is male! It is unfair and imbalanced! On a whim he can punish me after being horrible to me, and I am expected to crawl and beg his forgiveness and he does not have to apologize to me for the horrible way he treated me and hurt me! I still carry bruises I did not earn that he has not apologized for and you come to me and tell me I need to tread more carefully?!?"

"Elswyth!" Azazel snapped, his cheeks red. "She was only trying to be kind, please sit down. I did not mean to hurt you last night, I did not do it purposefully and you well know it! She was speaking of before, and yes, Elswyth, I WILL punish you as I see fit for your abominable behavior! It astounds me that you are so dim as to think I would bring you out here and allow you to make such a scene and hurl angry words at my mother as if she has done something wrong!"

"Hasn't she? Haven't all of you? Allowing a man to torture a girl so? They all knew you had me buried in that room all alone and none but one lifted a finger! They all know your temper and your strength and yet they call ME to account as if I could possibly truly harm you! Do what you will, Azazel, punish me again for speaking up, but I call you ALL to account for this treatment! I am the royal line of Redwood and I have been treated worse than a prisoner or lowest slave! I call you ALL to account! Would you deny my trial? Would you flout law so boldly? Take me before the keepers, it is my right to demand it."

Daman laughed low in his throat. "You think they will help you, girl? When they have not helped any in the history of the Trade? What do you hope to gain by this?"

"You are wrong. I have had time to do nothing but read. They WILL help me, do you know why? I am the last of my line, the last of the tree speakers and there will be no more unless I bear them."

There were surprised murmurs then.

"Your fellow is of royal line and he took a wife," Azazel said, but he sounded strained and surprised.

"And you know she will bear him no forest line. It cannot be so. Look at the lineage and how they work! Only I can produce forest heir, and only with another Forest, Flora, and one other. They will not allow you to destroy the royal line by torturing me and allowing me to die. I call you ALL to account and I will have my trial!"

"You will not," Bela scowled, her lips tightening to a thin line. "Death is the other who will allow you heirs."

"Not if he kills me first!"

"He will not. Azazel has already promised to take you above to see you healthier and promised to treat you with more care."

"Too little too late! I call for a trial."

"I call for the trial to be tabled," Damon growled, his eyes going black. "Until such a time as we have seen to your accommodations. You have to allow us to right your accusations, it is in the prescripts."

"As it is also in the prescripts for you to allow your husband to your bed," Bela snapped, her eyes also black. "Giving yourself freely to him and trying to accommodate HIM. It is not all about giving you everything you wish, girl."

"Everything I wish? You horrible, ugly, witch! I want not to be tortured and harmed! That is not asking too much!" Elswyth raged "That is not above and beyond expectation! Reasonable accommodation and..."

"Enough!" Azazel yelled. "This was your trick, Elswyth?" he asked, his entire face black with rage. "To come to me and pretend contrition so that you could do this?"

"No! No, Azazel, it was not! I was sorry for what I said and for hurting you, and I had every intention of trying to make things work as you wished, but coming out here... coming out here and being told that I must behave for you and not upset you after the way you hurt me last night! It was more than I could bear! You have them all fooled into thinking that I am the one who hurt you and they all think you innocent! Like you have not been torturing me! Like you did not bind my wings and shove me in a hole for weeks! Like simply taking me from the world above isn't its own torture! I HATE it here, Azazel! I can feel nothing here! No life, no trees, no sun, no living thing at all! Just the cold stone of this tomb! So go ahead. See to my accommodations all you wish, I will still call for the trial! I will call for a trial and free myself from you and this place and you horrible monsters! And YES, you ARE monsters! Not because of who you are, but because of what you do! How you treat people and how you expect them..."

Azazel grabbed her face, his hand over her mouth and yanked her close to him by his grip on her. She held his wrist and glared up at him, tears streaming down her face.

"That is enough," he hissed.

"I have no wish to see her in here ever again," Bela cried, going to Damon's arms as if her feelings had been hurt.

Elswyth bit into Azazel's hand, shocking him enough to let her go and she flew. "No one is fooled you old hag! You are not hurt, you are angry! Angry that I dared speak truth to you and call you out to tell you what you really are! A monster! Allowing another monster to torture and hurt without repercussion! You will ALL be taken to account!" she screamed, even as Azazel appeared and snatched her from the air.