The Trade: Elswyth

To her shock, it was not her room that they appeared in. There was a bed, but it was not her own and she immediately felt Him. Her tree.

Azazel held her pinned under him, but she was frozen, no longer fighting as she tried to fathom where she was. Her tree was there... but there was another. More than one. There were four trees now and...

She tried to move to see, but Azazel had her pinned hard. His elbow in her back hurt badly, but she wasn't focused on that. She felt around her with her gift and then she knew.

She was inside of Him. Her tree. Inside of Him and three others that had been planted and grown to make a small little house.

She closed her eyes and Spoke to Him.

'What happened?'

'Brother. Sisters. Melded. For you, treesister. The Lifegiver. Created.'

She went completely still as she panted. "Azazel?"

"You do not get to speak my name!" he cried, grief in his voice.

"Let me up."

"No!"

"I will not fly, let me up."

"I will not! And I will not allow you to censure my family! If you must blame someone, it will be me alone!"

"Azazel, let me up, you are hurting me."

"Good! If I am to be condemned, there will be reason!"

"Azazel, stop being so dramatic and let me up!"

"I. Will. Not!"

"At least allow me to turn and look at you!"

"So you can bite me again?"

"I didn't hurt you! And you are hurting me much worse! Let me up or I will make you!"

He snorted derisively.

Elswyth let out a sigh, then closed her eyes. She reached out to Him and the others.

Seconds later, Azazel was forced off of her bodily and he grunted.

She pushed up off the bed and turned to sit up. She could see him out in the water looking confused from the little opening in the large hollow inside the four trees. He looked up to the trees, then translocated back into the hollow, standing in front of her.

"What did you do?!?"

"I told you to let me up," she answered calmly. "You are wet. Sit over there and we will speak."

He went still, his hands clenched into fists, but he finally sat in one of the two chairs at the small table.

"You did this," she said softly, looking around the small room. Perfectly sized for her, but not so small that he couldn't fit. "You did this and you made it in such a way that I could live here. Thank you."

He scowled and crossed his arms.

"He says you made the opening above larger when you brought the others down, but you also blocked it off with... something?"

"He?"

"My tree."

"The sun still shines in, but you cannot escape."

"So you do mean for me to live here. This is a more than reasonable accommodation. I would also ask for books, a small garden and..."

"Are you really making demands of me?" he snarled, standing in outrage.

"I am asking. Your family said you would make accommodation for me in order to belay a trial. As I said, this is acceptable, but I would also ask for a garden, books in a constant rotation, and the bed will have to be larger, which means the room will have to be a bit larger as well."

"Why do you need a larger bed?" he demanded. "It is already larger than you are!"

"It needs to be large enough to fit you as well."

He went still again, confusion flitting across his features. "Why?"

"Did your mother not just demand that I share a bed with you?"

"You... realize that is not what she meant?"

"Of course it is. She said it outright, I must allow you to my bed. I will, but first you must make it larger. I also would like a..."

"Elswyth! You act as though you didn't just scream at my family and threaten them!"

She looked up at him, then stood, clasping her hands in front of her. "This place... is calming. I like it here. I meant what I said to your family though... they allowed you to treat me as you did. They stood by and allowed it to happen. Only one of them helped me."

"Two of them, in case you were keeping count," he sneered. "I did not allow for you to be given books. He did that on his own."

"Two of them, then. You act as though I am reaching above myself, Azazel. All I have said is true. It is not so much to want to be treated as a person and not your personal outlet for all of your pent up anger. If you think it is, put yourself in my shoes. Imagine if I had locked you away with no one to see and nothing at all around you that you cared for. Hurt you and upset you and just locked you in a hole."

"My home is not a hole! Stop calling it that! And you are now in a literal hole and it makes you happy to be here."

She rolled her eyes. "Stop being obtuse! Anyway... I am sorry I lost my temper with your mother, but I am serious about what I said. I know she meant well, but it isn't right that they allowed you to do as you did. It isn't right what you did. I am sorry for hurting your feelings, but you have to also apologize to me for what you did."

He bulled up angrily.

"It's only fair and right! Bull headed moose!"

His face went indignant. "Insufferable brat!"

"Ox brained cretin!"

"Spoiled little prude!"

She gritted her teeth and leapt up to get in his face angrily, her wings fluttering furiously. "I am not... that!"

"You can't even say it!" He cried, his face trying to contain his amusement.

"Of course I can! Just because I don't speak as vulgarly as you..."

"So say it, El! Say something to prove it. Say sex. Lovemaking. Anything. See? Prude."

"And what if I am? You say it as if it is a bad thing!"

"You just denied it vehemently! Which is it? Are you and it's not a bad thing, or aren't you and you can say it out loud?"

"Oh, you! Go away!"

He actually laughed, amusement lighting his face as he sat down and laughed at her.

"Stop it! You aren't funny! Get out!"

He only shook his head as he stood, still chuckling. He reached out and sent the bed away, then disappeared, still smirking.

She glared around the empty room, then flew out to the cavern and around the trees to look them over. It was clever how he had planted them and then joined them where the hollow began and formed them together around it. There were two little windows and the small door. It was sized for her, as if he meant to translocate in and not use the door at all.

She flew up to the opening and looked over the fine metal wires that kept her in. A cage.

She was touching where the earth met with the metal when a hand closed around her arm and she swirled into the void and reappeared in the room. There was a much larger bed there now and it took up most of the room.

"Trying to escape already?" he asked her as she sat up.

"I was only looking! What is that metal? I have not seen it's like?"

"It comes from the mountain, do not worry over it. You cannot break it.or bend it. Here. These are the books from your room. The ones you have read, set on this side of the door and I will take them back with me when I leave. Your clothes are still there for now, until I manage to make this place larger and can move the chest."

"If... if you can help them grow, I can help in the shaping of the room?"

"It was the tree that yanked me off of you?" he asked.

She lifted her chin. "Don't hurt me and you never need worry over the trees coming to my defense."

He cocked his head. "I intend to hurt you a great deal here very soon," he promised, his eyes shining with an odd gleam.

"What?" she demanded fearfully, stepping back. "Why? You can't..."

"Silence. When you were told you must allow me to your bed, she meant as a husband to a wife. To complete our bond. My patience is coming to an end for this. I don't care how little you know or how afraid you are, the only cure will be having done with it and showing you. There will be pain for you, but it will not last. Resolve yourself to it and understand that the less you resist, the less it will hurt and the more pleasure there can be for both of us. I made your accommodations... you will make mine. Are we clear, Elswyth?" he asked darkly.

She swallowed hard, looking up at him in concern. He was so... cold. Distant. Holding himself away from her, his true self. She knew he was putting a wall up between them so that he could do what he thought needed to be done and not feel bad for it. What his mother told him must be done. If he gave her an heir, she could not complain about being the last of her line.

"You would do this to me?" she asked sorrowfully. "Because she told you you must?"

He canted his head slightly, his eyes blazing. "I would do this to you, Elswyth... because I wish it and you will not give it freely. You are my wife and refuse to act as such. I will see that you do whether you wish it or not."

"Can you not wait? I asked you once if we could speak to each other and come to know each other! Learn of each other and become closer!"

"I know what I need to about you, Elswyth," he told her sadly. "I know you will try and talk your way or accuse your way out of anything you do not wish to do. When I return here tonight, you will be ready for me, do you understand? I will have you as my wife."

Elswyth opened her mouth to object, or plead with him, but he disappeared.

She immediately fled up to the opening and tried to find a way out, but there was none. She explored the cavern, but there was no other way out at all.

She only had a single other hope.

She took her dress and ripped it, pulling a piece off and snagging it on the metal in the opening, then digging at the hard dirt to make the opening a little bigger. She hid the rest of the dress then covered herself in the dirt and clay in the bed of the small pond until no part of her skin showed, then nestled herself into a small crag up high in the wall. She wedged herself as deeply as she could and made sure she was covered, then let out a calming breath and stilled her racing heart. She closed her eyes and reached out to the trees and matched herself to the slowness of them. Her heart. Her breathing. Her mind.

She was bonded to them when he came in already agitated. He had known she would hide. He searched for her, then spied the fluttering fabric on the metal and blinked up there to hold on to the metal as he looked at the spot she had dug away and the fabric.

He returned to the bottom and stood, looking around. "I know you are here, Elswyth, hiding yourself from me in some way. Your ploy did not fool me, it was too carefully done. Too carefully ripped, too carefully planted and the hole not near large enough. It did not smell of you at all, you never even tried to escape it. So you are here. We could be using this time to enjoy each other, work each other up to what is to come, but you chose this instead. How long will it work? A few hours? A day? How long until you need to eat? Until you cannot stand your cramped little space much longer? I will give you this one single chance, Elswyth. You can come down now, clean up in the waters and come to me and allow me to be gentle... or I will come to you and I will not be gentle."

Her mind tried to panic. He knew. He knew where she was! No. It was a bluff, it had to be! But wasn't he right? He could out-wait her. She was already hurting in this space and she had to relieve herself.

"One."

Her heart tried to pound in her chest and she tried to calm herself. He was bluffing! He couldn't stay forever and watch!

"Two."

He would have to work! Sleep! Go see his family, something! And there was no way he really knew she was still there, it was all a bluff.

"As you wish," he sighed.

She tensed, wondering what he was going to say now, but he said nothing. A hand closed around her hair and she just had time to open her mouth to scream when she twisted into the void. She came out, water filling her open mouth as she struggled and flailed, the hand in her hair holding her under water. She had a panicked moment to think he was going to drown her when he pulled her head out and grabbed her by the throat with his free hand.

She coughed and threw up water as she lost her connection with the trees, then her eyes rolled up and exhaustion took her, like she knew it would after staying connected to them all day.

She woke coughing, her chest burning as she tried to roll. She was in blankets and it was dark, she could see nothing. His hand in her hair made her remember where she was, her head pounding as she lay limply.

"This gets you out of nothing," he hissed, his face near hers in the darkness.

She was too sore and too tired to be afraid. Her hand fumbled for him as she coughed again and she found his broad chest in the darkness next to her. She turned to him and pressed her cold skin to his warm flesh. She slowly and feebly wriggled closer to him until he finally pulled her in tight and tucked the blankets around her. She let out a tired sigh and went limp against him again as she closed her eyes.

He would keep her warm. Safe.

That thought should have been laughable, since she knew he had every intention of hurting her, but in her core she knew. Just now, he would keep her safe.

She clutched at him with her hand and shivered as she burrowed into him. She let out a sigh and slept.

His movements woke her hours later and she winced and hid her face, burrowing into him even more than she already was.

"I will bring back something warm for you to eat," he told her, almost gently. "Then I must attend my duties. You are too sick to accompany me today, it will have to be another day."

"No... I want to go today. I... want to stay close," she managed, holding onto him more tightly. "Or... stay? Either. Keep me with you or stay with me? Just today? I will not be a burden to you, I just need you close?"

"Why?" he asked in an almost wounded whisper.

"I need you."

"Why?" he asked again, sounding tortured.

"Because you make me feel safe and... wanted. You want me and... I want you close to me as well. And I hurt so badly and I need you close to me. Your arms make it bearable."

His hand moved up and stroked her cheek, and as it did, the pain eased and flowed away as if it had never been.

She let out another sigh, this time of relief. "Thank you... but... I still want you to stay? Just this once? Please?"

"I will bring you with, but you must do as I say. It will not be as you imagine... you will not be there in body. And you must not interfere or impede me."

"I will not, just... do not let me go?"

"I must at several points in the day..."

"But only when you must?" she asked, her heart and soul still aching.

He seemed so torn and confused, unsure what to do. There was what he wanted, what he had promised, and what he had been bidden to do. None were the same and he was struggling with what he should do.

"Just today?" she asked in a whisper.

He let the struggle go, making up his mind. "Today," he agreed softly. "Tomorrow, though..."

"Yes. I understand, it will be as you say," she whispered, clutching him more closely.

He still seemed hesitant as he eased himself up and sat, looking down at her and her little hands clinging to him. "You must eat," he told her softly. "Sit up and I will return with something for you."

She made a small noise of disagreement, but managed to start sitting up. As soon as she was no longer clinging to him, he translocated away.

She was sitting up and hugging herself, looking lost when he returned. She half lunged at him when he did, throwing her arms around his waist and clutching him, her eyes wide and hunted.

"What is wrong?" he asked gently, sitting down and setting their bowls down as he pried her off of him so he could look at her face. She smelled and felt... terrified and upset.

"Please hold me? Don't let me go?"

"El, you have to tell me..."

"It is just... it was bad dreams and... and I don't know what it is, Azazel! I feel as though something bad is coming and I..."

"I will let nothing bad happen to you."

"No... Azazel... It's you. I don't want anything bad to happen to you."

Some tension left him and he patted her arm gently. "I will have a care. Sit up and eat. Come. Sit up and eat, El, I will stay close. Eat for me, please?"

Elswyth held her bowl, but stayed pressed hard against him with her head on his arm as she stirred her oatmeal.

"You must eat, El, or you cannot come with me," he told her softly.

She quickly took a bite and he let out a small sigh. He was still holding out hope that he would find an excuse for her not to come today. He considered staying here today, passing off his duties to his brother, but knew it was too late for that. More notice was needed.

Sorrow and pain began rolling off of her and he let out another sigh. "El... you must stop. It was only bad dreams, you must bring yourself out of them."

"It wasn't that... I... I did have bad dreams, but it wasn't just that, Azazel."

"Zay, El."

"I like your whole name... I like it on my lips."

Truth rang in her words and it pleased him to hear it. He preferred the shortened familiar nickname, but now he not only didn't mind his whole name, he wanted to hear her say it again. "El," he whispered. "Look at me, please? Little El, you must stop fretting as you are. You are bleeding it onto me and making me upset as well. Hurry and eat and we will go, leave early so I can show you something. Would you like that, little El? For me to show you a beautiful place I know you will love?"

She pressed her face to his arm. "Another time, perhaps. Just now I only wish to be close to you and for you to hold me."

He let out a pleased sigh and pulled her close to him, up into his lap. She did not complain, or try and get away, for a wonder. Instead she pressed into him and held him as tightly as he held her. He held her that way until she finally began feeling less tense and upset, all of her worry slipping away and pleasant, warm comfort taking over. He almost didn't see it at first, it was so gradual and it surprised him. She smelled... content.

"It is time," he finally told her. "Lay your body down here."

She lay down on the large bed like he directed, looking a little afraid, but seconds later she was standing in a large, open field, facing the sunrise.

She felt... odd. She was there, standing with him and he was holding her hand, but she did not feel the warmth of the sun. She felt like a shadow of herself and when she had the thought, she knew it was true. She was here with her eyes and her thoughts, but her body was laying in her bed in her cubby with her trees. She was a reflection.

He led her to the small house behind them, then paused and let go of her hand as he slipped in. She peeked in the window and watched Azazel lean over the old man alone in his bed. He stroked fingers over the man's brow, whispering something and she saw. She saw the body of the old man seem to turn a gray color and the small light leave him. Azazel moved his hand around the light, then cupped it in both hands and closed his eyes, whispering something before opening his hands. The light was gone.

Azazel came back outside, leaving the gray husk in the bed and Elswyth could almost feel it... the light coming back into the world somewhere else. A child conceived.

It felt beautiful.

Azazel took her hand and she felt a little more at peace now as she went with him. She traveled with him from place to place, some places taking longer than others.

In the late afternoon, she knew why he had not wanted her to come this day when he brought her back to the forest realm. She felt anxious as she looked around and he gave her a gentle smile and left her near her old house as he slipped away. She didn't want to know where he was going.

She turned and looked around, then wandered up to the huge manse on the hill where Ranger lived with his father. She was surprised to find him there alone in the main room, leaning on a wall and staring out a window. She moved closer and looked where he was looking, then went warm all over. It was her tree. Her old tree where she had spent almost all of her time when she wasn't at home or attending to her duties. His look was sad and introspective.