All Comments on 'The Tumble'

Delete the repeated part as it spoils the story

this story is a classic example of why a lazy author needs to proofread.

a turnoff

I think maybe you might ought to try something else to occupy your time. This just ain't it, Old Son! I could only manage to give it two stars.

I enjoyed reading this story except for the repeat. I hope you will continue this story & repost the first part with out the repeat.

I dont get why you would need a repeat unless its an error else i recommend you should delete that part.

I really enjoyed the story. The repeat was just a mistake, easily made. You did well to leave the ending open so that another chapter can be added. All in all, I think it was well written and very erotic. Thanks.

I thought it was fine and hope you continue it.

I feel really sorry that someone was not smart enough to realize that it was a duplicate second half, and not fast forward to the end.

And constructively telling someone what is wrong is great. but to be so stupid as to say you do not need to be writing is absurd.

And then to hide behind the name anonymous must mean they are ashamed.

I am waiting for the next part.

With tomscard. Be a man, and login if you use a flamethrower for a pen, at least then you can say you have balls. I rake people over the coals when I think its deserved, especially if they ignore constructive criticism as if it came from an anonymous sphincture muscle! I bruise their ego if I think they suck and don't listen to advice. People who write down the names of everyone who's speaking, as if writing a script, get that treatment, if I find it in every story, after being told how annoying it is, but I put my name to it. By the way, whatever problem they spoke of, I did not see, so it was probably a cut and paste problem. People who write, put a lot of time and effor into it, if they aren't a plagiarist, so cut them some slack, and give them a chance to correct their deficiencies. I write poetry, and I can tell you that some of it I think is great, whereas, other pieces I've written is pure shit, and it doesn't always get better, polish a turd and it remains a turd, and I speak of my own writing. I have several ideas for novels, but can't get past the first paragraphs because it sounds like shit to me, I am my own worst critic, but I know shit when I smell it.

I hope you write more about these 2 so we can see where it ends up.

I really enjoyed this. I think this is the first gynmast story I've read, and it's really a great theme to write on.

keep it up

WELLTHIS IS GREAT SO FAR I LIKE THE YOUR LINING THING UP FOR

THE NEXT CHAPTER NICE WORK,A GOOD 4 OUT OF 5 BUT IF IT KEEPS GOING THIS WAY YOUR GOOD FOR PERFECT POINTS ......................."R".......................

Glad you didnt listen to that one comment and "Wrote Ch2 and Ch3". You knocked those two chapters quickly. I cant wait to read them! Small breasts are sexyer to me than having huge knockers that get in the way. No offence to anyone, but thats my opinion. My X-girlfriend, 22, is 36C, and were 34B when we 1st met and they were PERFECT!!!

I made out with a gymnast or rather she took over.i never felt anything so strong in my life.she felt like a piece of steel.she rammed it a mile a minute.she yelled for more&i couldent go anymore she rammed it on my face screaming.she is a great girl.i love her.

Good story, stilted conversation. Does anyone really talk like that, with no conjunctions?