All Comments on 'The Twelve Zenati Pt. 17'

He said she could have control for two weeks, no complaints from him. He couldn’t even follow that through for one day. In the morning, she should go to him and tell him he broke his part of the deal with the spanking by taking control and he has to leave and let her go. Either that, or he has to let her be in control until she’s done not matter how much she teases him. That was the deal from the getgo. Either put up or shut up.

Since you know my taste, you have to realize how much I enjoy this series. Very well done Ellie!

said the spider to the fly...

Clever Noah! What a good plan...

Silly Marcie! She's been pushing and pushing Noah in revenge. She wanted him to lose control...

Excellent Ellie! This is such a good chapter. You've managed each character, keeping each one true, while providing such a good and amusing read as their "battle" really gets underway.

Thank you.

Jules

Noah is a lying ass, no better than any other of the controlling jerks.

Run, Marcella.

Yaaaaayyyyyy!!!!! Thank you! Thank You!! Thank YOUUUU!!!!!!!!

Damn!

That's it. Speechless...and horny!

Since he spanked her while she was in control, she gets to spark him while he’s in charge? Because the this goes both ways thing needs to include that too.

Since I first found your work out here I have appreciated every chapter of every story. Until this one. You are a creative and imaginative author expressing challenging relationships with ease. Even when I disagreed with what you wrote (like the ending of Bella, to which I still think she is with the wrong man), I never felt such disagreement with the actions of your characters in one chapter being diametrically opposite of the persona you built for them in all the previous chapters.

A little preface, I have been waiting for you to write a story with a strong lead female. Now before I get beat up over that one, YES I agree that every lead female character, including Peri and Bella are strong women. As strong and intelligent and passionate and capable as the man/men you have the fall in love with. BUT, in these stories specifically, there has never been a female led relationship - across 12 families through tens of generations - NOT ONE (ok that we know of). Hell there isn’t even on single gay or lesbian member of these families which over all those generations must be thousands of people deep.

And then in this story there finally was one. And maybe not too unlike another commentator, E35, am VERY disappointed in Noah. What the hell is it about the men in these families that drives their constant need to force their will on others or to constantly express their machismo that these base needs simply overrides their sanity? Here is the easy question...why couldn’t Noah ride out two weeks doing as he promised, and perform that to which he contractually agreed? Why couldn’t he stay in character for even a few hours when he was trying to show the woman he loves that he can and will do these things for her? Why did he need to assert his dominance and resort to violence (I’ll explain in the next paragraph) when what was required was for him to simply enjoy the tease, warn her that payback was his in a mere two weeks, and let the rest fall where it may.

But unlike all the other commentators, I am more than just a little bit disappointed in the way Noah’s actions were written. Why? (here come the hard questions) We know Noah read her file. He knows her past. And even if, we as readers, only had this one chapter to go on, we all - us and Noah - know that she is a physically and mentally scarred woman to has suffered spankings, beatings, whippings, and abuse at the hands of he loving father when she acted like a petulant little child. And Noah’s reaction to hear petulant teasing is to turn into her father?!?!?! Or worse the rapist uncle who molested her constantly. Why is Noah acting like this?

I had thought up to this point he was trying to win her love, to be earning her trust. To maybe even show her that her surrender to him could be pleasurable (hell even the most strict of dominants can go switch once in a while), and maybe exactly that type of trust, love and comfort is just what she needs. And yet while his words expressed those sentiments, when the rubber hits the road like when his “table based” manhood is challenged by her by simple teasing, his true self appears and the contract he wrote with her lawyer to lawyer is breached, the promise he made to her is broken, and he simply acts like every other man in her past who broke her trust, who hurt her, who abused her and that sure as hell isn’t love. What happened to Noah?

I know we have to suspend disbelief, but how are we to accept this act as an erotic event when the blatant facts highlight he did nothing short of push everything she asked of him aside and openly prove to her that he will alway assert his dominant and violent needs first and foremost over anything she may want or need from him in their relationship.

And beyond my problems with Noah’s changes this chapter, why does Marcella accept it? That’s not the “her” that we’ve encountered in all the other chapters. There is no answer for that anywhere in this chapter. We know all of the things that she has done to overcome her past, and knowing that we also know that nothing like this would have ever been tolerated. And especially when she chooses to give him anther chance, knowing how badly he burned the first one. And she writes out the details of her needs and expectations in a contract that he signs. Then, she rightly tests him one little time within moments of that momentous signing, only to have him respond with with lies and breaching the agreement, why does she allow such betrayal let alone deep erotica excitement from someone who has proven himself to be just another one of those guys?

Okay I’m climbing down from my really big soapbox. I hope I have not offended you. It just seemed to me that in this chapter both of these characters were moved so violently off-persona, especially with his actions in this chapter being so damning that it will be very hard going forward to get them back on track. Look we all know this will end HEA and that I should just simply wait for the end before I judge. So I apologize. I just truly felt I love needed to express how much I felt the characters had changed in one chapter. I am in to the end and honestly look forward to how it all plays out.

You are an incredible incredible incredible author. Your ideas, the fluidity of the language, go beyond top shelf, truly one of the best on this site and worthy of any writing prize and publication out there. It's always your story and always how you want to proceed and write it. And of course I can stop reading it. I can but you you are a worthy drug. Each time you put these amazing strong characters, something new and fresh like Marcell, you snatch it away from us. Why didn't she elbowed him in the Nads? She should have froze realizing, this is it, it is all men even the ones that say they care, he's not different, she's nothing but an object, nothing but something to conquer and control. Maybe next he'll talk about children, babies, a guarantee that a woman is tied to some piece of shit that wants to take over her life, just like her mother. You are incredible I will finish the story. I wait, and reread for other things you've written. I search your lit page hoping to find something else. I just want once for the woman NOT to rollover. I don't need for the woman to be a dominatrix but just not ever buckle. Submitting in a scene, in a moment is part of the fantasy but to be "less" of herself daily... I just want one win.

I have an idea of why Marcella accepted it. She has had her body trained to love the pain, even in uncomfortable situations. She went to the Bataglia twice after all. Also, I think that this was her way of getting out of the contract. Personally, I think she did this on purpose. She’s a lawyer. She knows what a breach of contract is. She knows he signed that she would be in control until whatever she needed to do with Olivia was over. So as soon as he delivered that spanking, she has an out. He breached the contract. She can bide her time, letting him help her with Olivia, but when it comes to her sticking around for his time after that, she can say, “Bye, Felicia. You took control, so I don’t have to submit to you.” She is someone who always leaves an out. I hope she does, and he figures out just how much he has screwed this up over and over. Imelda told him straight up to pick her from the beginning of that day, and instead, he showed he he can’t be trusted. He has done it over and over. So unless he truly lets her top him through a good chunk of this relationship, I don’t really see this turning around.

In Twelve Tables, wasn’t Emilio gay? That is one reason the table killed him off. His gay lover got him mixed up with the Suebi.

Also, she was alright downright kidnapped by these people by having her keys and phone taken, so she would have to stay in the hospital. Vanessa could have told her up front that they wouldn’t let the Battaglia or Apollo take her. No one did. They just confiscated her stuff after she made it clear that she didn’t want to be there and expected her to toe the line. Then, Noah blackmails her into this relationship. Flat out blackmail. You can call the contract whatever you want, but telling her that he will tell everyone where she is, so she will be put in even a tighter prison and have less chance of helping her sister or taking his help is blackmail. Then, he breaks the contract. Unless we really see him change, I am rooting for her to get over Noah and find someone who will love her for herself. Even Apollo has been better to Marcella than Noah (even factoring letting her walk in front of a car.).

As for Apollo, this is just my speculation, but I think that on his birthday, she let him be the top, and on her birthday, she was. That was what Apollo was looking forward to.

Marcella needs not only Noah's strength and dominance but also his love and gentleness. Marcella will never truly respect a man that lets her top him. Noah is smart enough to know how to take control without being abusive or condescending.

I think that you're right that she has been conditioned, and all I could think about was Apollo's shower fantasy where it seemed like he was the top (so she wasn't completely opposed to the notion).

I hope part of this does involve your idea of a breach of contract and how much he did truly f up, but I think his admission to losing control around her is promising. It allows a mutual space for both of them to lose control without guilt or as much friction. And it's a situation she could use to her advantage if she so desires as he did in that instance where he was noting her reactions and behaviour, like resisting then initiating physical contact.

I was also just a little bit confused about her sudden change in reactions saying she wouldn't reciprocate his advances saying he could stroke himself, but then immediately after attempting to do it herself. Seemed a little contrary and indecisive which is not Marcella. I also don't know why his family couldn't just be honest and tell her what was going on with the Battaglia and Apollo? I don't feel any treat her with the respect she is due as an independent grown woman, which would reinforce her beliefs about Tables families.

I am really enjoying this story (so far my favourite by you!) and is really well-written and publishable (I would buy it!). I think it has the most interesting character development and back stories, and is more multi-faceted with the Suebi and Royce as a subplot that adds intrigue.

I also believe all of the women in the Table stories are strong. Don't forget the Seubi (spelling?) attacked the Mothers - not because they were weak and vulnerable but because they actually hold the power in the families. And last, in a D\s relationship, the D does not force the agenda, the sub actually has the power to chose whether or not to submit. It is all up to Marcella to chose.

@MLTR - Normally I could agree with you but in this case there is clearly a problem with Noah. Maybe intentionally placed there by the author, but only xEBx knows that.

So all of those things you wrote about need (especially in this relationship) to start with trust. But clearly there is none between Noah and Marcella. Case in point, he knows her past in all it's brutal colors. If fact the only reason he is here with her now is because he came looking for her to demonstrate that despite how all the other men in her life treated her, he was going to PROVE to her she could trust him. And remember these are lawyers so things like proof, precedent, contracts - should all matter on many levels.

And I believe he wanted to try, wanted to change. Hell, he even went so far as to use a fake persona that matched her alternate identity. I believe he thought that by allowing her to write a contract, which he would (and did) agree to and sign, would show her that he could place her needs first, that he would (for two weeks - he's still a table mannered man) surrender to her will. And I KNOW THAT HE KNEW she would test his resolve.

And we all know he FAILED. He failed her and her little test. A few hours of playful teasing by her alternate ego, shattered him and his over-conditioned "table manners" to such a degree that he broke character and immediately became Noah again. The play, fun, and trust vanished in two sentences. He was not playfully/erotically spanking the alter ego of the woman he "is destined to love" - he chose to beat Marcella (intentionally calling her by that name to reinforce the fact this wasn't playtime between the two alternate ego's who have no colored history) in the exact same manner her abusive father and molesting uncle did.

Noah is broken and so is their relationship.

@E35 - Well written. I will go back and re-read. I believe you are right about Emillo. As for Apollo, I do not have enough background on him to decide and I also believe we haven't seen the last of him yet. I do however think Noah needs some SERIOUS corrective action. Preferably a stint with the Battaglia. Marcella made it through there (more than once) so it might do Noah, and their relationship, some good for him to spend a few months of his free time there. Okay that's mostly sarcasm, because we all know that can't/won't happen but still for a man who clearly hears other voices in his head - he spends too damn long listening to his own voice/ego/table driven beliefs, when he should just heed the advice of others who words are actually filled with common sense.

Ellie, you are undoubtably a truely gifted writer spinning a wonderful plot web. Your characters and interactions keep me enthralled along with the always painfu wait to the next installment. You grace us with your wonderful gift. Please don't change in order to satisfy any disparaging comments posted on here, the plots are yours to take us wherever you wish. Keep up your wonderful work,

XXPJRXX

Mommylovestoread: I agree, there is a lot of power in submission. That implies consent. Without consent, you can never have true submission.

When Marcella wanted to get away from him, Noah physically held her down and made her listen. When she was in the hospital and knew it wasn’t the safest place for her psychologically , they took her keys and cell phone and made her stay somewhere she didn’t want to be. All she has ever known from the tables is being forcibly held places. So she runs. She can’t get out of the conversation with Noah, because again, he has taken away her consent. So she negotiates. She calls a spade a spade and says he’s blackmailing her. He doesn’t like that word, even though he is threatening her with a form of prison if she doesn’t do what he wants. Sounds like blackmail to me. So that is the obvious threat. The implied threat is also real. She is worried about her mother. She thought this assumed name would protect her mother. Now that Noah ruined the disguise, her mother is also in danger if Marcella doesn’t do what Noah wants. So with the threats hanging over her unless she submits, she has no where to go. That isn’t submission anymore. That is blackmail.

The contrast is Cat Vitali. She submits to the consequences and gets tied up, but when they threaten to go to the meeting with her in ropes, she safewords and they get her out immediately and work to make it up to her for crossing her lines. She really had the power in that relationship because she had the power to leave. In fact, leaving was the right thing to do for her when she went to Peri’s Gathering. So that is the difference between real submission and not having the ability to consent. Cat is powerful in her consenting submission.

Marcella worked really hard to needle him until he gave in and spanked her. We know she wants to find a loophole to get her out of the return time when she wouldn’t be in charge. She just found it. He spanked her and took over. He is smirking because he is winning her game. I think she is smart enough to play the long game. Every time he takes over and wins during these two weeks, he actually loses because he shows her one more time that he will take what isn’t gladly given. So either when the tables go the other way, she actually gets to be in charge because he was during her turn, or she will say that she doesn’t have to follow him because he broke the contract. I hope he starts to truly value how smart she is. He sees now that sometimes she has good ideas, but he feels superior to her and always wants to come fix what he thinks she broke, but Marcella is brilliant. I can’t wait to see how she makes this work for herself.

Peri in the twelve tables showed that women can be amazing moms and strong women. They can also have lives and be mothers. Being a mother and bringing life into this world is one thing that men will never be able to do. I love that this series cherishes that. Whether Marcella chooses to be a mother or not, having babies makes us stronger as people instead of less. That is one thing I absolutely love about this series.

I agree with those who are disappointed in Noah and Marcella for the spanking scene. They both got into the contract not in good faith, but ultimately the biggest problem is the fact that she has been greatly abused by her family and by the Bataglia, and the guy who is supposed to be her one is just like them, choosing to spank her when he doesn't like what she did. This fundamentally abusive culture of the Tables with its mysogyny and its conditioning of children to become BDSMers from young age is so sad, I keep waiting for redemption but haven't seen it yet...

As always I am loving this series! Ty for taking your time to write fictional stories we can become engrossed in and read for free any time. Don't change what you do or how you write <3 . If people don't like it they can always read something else ;-)

Okay, I was late to the party, but now I GET Marcella. You are such a skillful writer that I had a visceral reaction to your portrayal of her feminist, ball-busting hellion side. Now that you peeled away the layers of her protective facade, I can see her as the lovable, resilient woman that she is at heart.

For those who are critical of Noah spanking her, I don't get it. By now, it should be common knowledge that BDSM is, well, the dominant lifestyle among those brought up in the Tables society. Also, based on Apollo's erotic memory of his last time with Chella, she is into pleasurable pain. And, her handling of Vinnie shows that she is VERY seasoned when it comes to kink. Not to mention her reaction to Noah's domination: she is ON fire. Something tells me that the next two weeks are going to be VERY interesting with these two. I. LOVE. IT.

I'm surprised by those criticizing the BDSM elements of this story. It is a BDSM story and that is clearly stated at the beginning of every chapter. It also says pretty clearly that it is about a traditional, male-dominated family.

To those complaining about the spanking scene: the character Marcella has been fully trained as a kept. She knows that to stop anything from happening to her in a scene all she has to do is say RED and the scene will end. She says in this chapter that she is, "caught up in the scene they were creating and aroused enough to wish that he would" treat her like a naughty tease. (pg. 4, paragraph ~54) She wanted Noah to spank her! Once she threw down the gauntlet he had to spank her or she would have lost all respect for him. Her own thoughts reveal that about her in earlier chapters.

For those saying he broke the contract with her--we don't even know what the contract says exactly. This is her time to be in control and she decides to test Noah here. She pushes him with her flirting and never once asks him to stop or tries to get away from him. Her arousal at being spanked showed a side of her that surprised Noah. He expected her to stop him and put an end to the game, but she didn't do that. She was in control the entire time!

I thoroughly loved this chapter and the way it showed the first steps of Marcella coming to terms with her submissive feelings and her need for a strong Dominant that she can truly trust. Watching these two learn to balance their needs within their relationship is going to be delightful, I'm sure! Well done, ellie!

I don’t think anyone here but me takes Noah’s choice to act out violently against Marcella with a spanking was an absolutely inappropriate response to her silly teasing. He had a million other options as a “well trained man of the tables”. Instead he chose to reinforce the beliefs Marcella holds about the violent/abusive tendencies that supposedly all the leading men of the tables hold. Even if, as some have noted, she has been trained to love the pain/act of the spanking...how does the fact that Noah, who KNOWS she violently hates those who do this, do this? Especially while trying to gain her trust, respect, and hopefully love? man who can’t handle this type of teasing from a grown woman. And what if she marries this man, will he abuse the daughter(s) she bears for him? Her father and uncle did! That is the reality that she knows. That is the reality that she tried to save her sisters from. That is the reality Noah is reinforcing with her when he is supposed to be doing the exact opposite and winning her trust.

To me (one reader’s possibly misguided opinion), the point of the spanking is EllieB expressing yet another symptom of Noah’s “selfish disease”. His selfishness will not kill him but it can kill his chance for the life, happiness, and love all the others have found if he doesn’t cure it. So I believe it’s intentional that Noah screwed up...yet again. Noah was told by many family, friends, and advisors (including those that put voices into his head) EXACTLY what he was supposed to do. And the moment it doesn’t lead to Noah’s perfect scenario. He violent abandons it all and forcefully re-establishes himself as the be all and end all. The contract, the fun fake personas, the playful teasing, a moment of being a loving make believe couple in make believe land, the joy of being someone else FOR someone else, for two damn weeks simply because that special someone else NEEDS YOU to be someone else FOR THEM...BOOM...SHATTERED! Add his breach of contract. His misuse of consent. His continued practice of intentionally “ignoring” others trying to help him. And it becomes evident that something is wrong with Noah.

EllieN35 has very eloquently addressed the issue of consent and the manner in which Noah eliminated consent from their roles. ‘Nuff said here...

No one, including myself want EllieB to change how she writes or for her to change a single word of what she writes. She is an amazing author and it is beyond generous for her to share all these tangled characters, in this amazing society, perfectly balanced against the real world, with all of us...for free.

(And we get to comment on it...damn!)

But we also know that she doesn’t create an event like this without purpose. This was not some silly dream sequence that will fade away when everyone wakes up. His violent reaction is but a symptom of a disease he needs to cure...and seemingly on his own since he constantly rejects all other (personal, legal, medical) advice. My out on a limb thought...maybe he’s just afraid to be topped....maybe two Switches can get along...we’ll see...I hope... Anyways, no matter what, all that stuff before me going out on a limb, was intentionally written in to the story for a reason that EllieB will share with us soon.

And that is something that we can all agree we look forward too.

She would never let him spank her, because she is not trusting him. And why would she, he is constantly telling her lies.

I would be so happy when she found somebody who really cared about her. And when respect and trust is formed, than she might accept a spanking. This is the first time that you would compromise you're characters for a sexscene.

this is written by someone who doesn’t know the first thing about emotions en real life.

Why would any woman wants a man who doesn’t care about who you are and only sees you as a conquest and a way to scratch an itch. The new writer is a man or a young woman who lived a shallow, sheltered life. Such a shame that the fantastic character that Marcella was ends like this, an insecure woman who needs a strong man who takes over her life.

Great, second time reading the series and loving it all. Well rounded characters, good storyline and hot sex. :)

That after all is said and done that the families of the 12 Tables are so stereotyped that they are the BDSM equivalent of ‘Stepford Wives’, 99% are male dominant and whilst the majority females May appear as strong women they are without fail submissive sexually.

The following is one of Noah’s thoughts...

“He only had to deal with it for a week, possibly two, and then he could correct her thinking instead, he thought smugly.“

It’s a reference to her being in control of the operation to uncover the kink dungeon. The only thing he’s focused on is flipping the D/s roles. She isn’t worried about it because she isn’t planning on sticking around after she’s done what she needs to. I sincerely hope this doesn’t devolve into *and she realised her true role in life* it’s trite and demeaning. Is Noah going to be (rightly) horrified that she was forcibly trained as a *Kept* or is he going to rejoice that it won’t be such hard work to get what he wants? The concept of training women to be submissives is one that gets glossed over, we know exactly what they do but who do they do it for? Is it for any man in the families, just the single men??

Whilst I’ve enjoyed the underlying plots the concept of absolute male dominance is very off putting. What people want to do sexually is there own affairs, BDSM TPE with the M/f respectively is not a reasonable or sensible business model.

Tess (UK)

Honestly, I don’t understand the anonymous comments about a different writer or the misogyny of the character of Noah. I see him struggling to deal with someone who has survived severe trauma and as someone who works with people like that I feel this character is well realized and realistically drawn out. To call someone misogynistic because they love BDSM or that’s a part of who they are is odd to me, but at any rate, we know that that is the category the story is (BDSM) so why are you reading something if you don’t like the BDSM lifestyle? Read something else. Once again, the writer has captivated my imagination, and I can almost picture what happens next. Keep up the great work! I feel again that this is very realistic and true to what a strong woman who is willing to give over control to a partner in real life. You are an amazing world builder and I love everything you write. This series is just more proof that the 12 tables is a great world and I hope that you don’t allow anonymous comments make you feel badly about your phenomenal writing.