All Comments on 'The Underclassman Ch. 15'

The Underclassman is one of those rare stories that has all the elements rolled into one: great characters, a great storyline, plenty of descriptive love scenes, and excellent writing. This latest chapter in this outstanding series is one of the best, and stands out in all areas. One can only look forward with anticipation of more excellence to come in future chapters as this compelling story continues to unfold. Five stars.

You're losing me with your efforts to use every synonym that you find in your thesaurus, while using other words incorrectly. In one paragraph, you used "you're" correctly twice, and "your" incorrectly. Calling breasts, melons, mangoes, papayas, or a cock, "petrified wood", and other odd terms in an attempt to use as many different descriptive terms as possible, is taxing. Your storyline is fantastic, and while utter repetition is boring, your attempts to blast us with dozens of odd words is possibly worse. Sometimes, the normal desriptive is the best descriptive. You are taking a fantastic idea and story, and lowering it's value with our effort to be verbose. Don't try to impress us with your vocabulary, but with your story!

I like your lead-ins to future events in future chapters, like the teaser with Sean and Gabrielle in the gym, and the outdoor intro of Kimberly and the early intro of Brenda which seems to be leading somewhere, but only our author knows when and where. Now Kimberly acknowledges that her virginal reticence to go all the way doesn't need to stop her from showing up for batting practice and making the play at first and second base. Will a coach eventually teach her that the game is all about scoring home runs?