The Undoing of Emma

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My mother and I sat on one side of our table. Asmodeus sat on the other, flanked by two guards. Mom was clearly pissed at the lack of respect, but did her best to remain collected. It was morning and Sun filtered into the room. But our shared demeanor was far from sunny.

"So, my Lord, what can we assist you with? Your meeting request referred to breaches of regulations, but was not more informative. I am a busy woman and I would like to get this over with. What is it that you believe my daughter has done?"

Asmodeus smiled his most oleaginous smile, which, it had to be said, was pretty fucking oleaginous. "Well, my Lady, the law is quite clear, as you will know as well as anyone. Shall we say, fraternizing, between Pleasure Demons and anyone outside your esteemed Coterie is frowned on. A silly law maybe. I have often thought so myself."

At this point his gaze turned from Mom to me. I thought I detected him licking his lips just a little and shuddered inwardly.

He turned back to Mom. "Silly, perhaps. But still the law. And who are we to question that?"

Mom's voice was steely. "Go on. I feel you have a point that you are going to eventually get to."

"A point? Ah yes. Well. Let's take the hypothetical situation where a senior demon, maybe even a member of The Coterie, had a progeny. Let's assume a daughter, given the circumstances. Who flouted this -- admittedly archaic -- regulation. And did so not once, in a momentary lapse, but many times. Many, many times. Is it not feasible that the justice system might want to make an example of her? You know, to prove no one is above the law. It could mean The Pits. With the right, I mean of course, the wrong, jury."

Asmodeus leaned back in his chair and smiled.

My mother remained calm. "I see, my Lord. Shall we move past the hypotheticals? May I know the alleged infraction? And perhaps the nature of the testimony to it?"

"Of course, my Lady. This is meant to be an informal discussion between friends. But I am more than happy to commence discovery if you would prefer."

Asmodeus collected himself, a slight smirk on his face. He was clearly enjoying the situation immensely. I felt sick.

"The charge is your daughter being in breach of the law as it applies to Pleasure Demons and sexual relationships outside of The Coterie. A serious matter for any Pleasure Demon, much more so for the daughter of a Coterie member."

He paused. "There is also the issue of divided loyalty. A senior demon putting the needs of a family member above the rules that have governed our society for eons."

Mom's face was wooden. "And the evidence?"

"I think you will find it most compelling."

Asmodeus retrieved a sheaf of bound parchments from his bag and tossed it onto the table. I saw the moving images on the top folio. Images of a naked, black-haired woman. A woman in chains, being whipped.

Mom lowered her eyes. I could sense something had broken in her. Maybe she simply saw the futility of the situation. To me, it felt like the floor of the room had disappeared and left me dangling over a void.

Naamah's voice had lost its normal authority. "Most compelling evidence, I agree Lord Asmodeus. I will make sure she is disciplined, of course."

Our visitor laughed out loud. "My Lady, it has gone beyond that. Far beyond that. It's The Pits for her. Unless..."

Mom looked up. "Unless?"

His voice became saccharine. "Unless there is another way... Unless the person truly responsible for their wayward and uncontrolled daughter were too..."

I felt panic rise rapidly in me. I had been prepared to be hauled over the coals, literally, not figuratively, demons don't fuck about with punishments. But Mom?

She bowed her head once more in submission and sorrow. "Name your terms."

I screamed, "Mom, no!" And suddenly the room went dark.

When I came to, Asmodeus and his henchmen had departed. Mom was cradling me, tears running down her beautiful face.

"Mom! What did you do?"

"I gave the worm what he wanted. It's done. Don't try to argue about it." Her blackening eyes told me there would be no reasoning with her, not now at least.

"I am... so... so sorry, Mom." The words felt useless. I had betrayed her. And she has warned me, begged me not to trust that lying piece of...

Calmer again, she smiled sadly at me and stroked my cheek. "You followed your heart, my sweetness. I can't blame you for that. The true fault is with those who abused your trust."

"Cozbi, the fucking bitch! I'll dismember her."

"Emmoreth, she is gone. Not to be found anywhere. Asmodeus has what he needs, the documentary evidence. Who knows what is happening with her. She may be lying low, awaiting her reward. Or Asmodeus may have taken a more robust approach to covering his tracks. Anything is possible with that man. It is much more important to focus on what happens next."

"OK, Mom. I'll try. I let you down. I'll never forgive myself."

"Hush, child. What is done is done. We must prepare ourselves."

I nodded, brushing away my own tears. "What's going to happen?"

"First, I am going to see Lucy. To tell her that you were acting under my instructions. Trying to gather intelligence about Asmodeus. I'll throw myself at her mercy. Not that Satan is renowned for her mercy."

She smiled to herself. Even at the worst of times, Mom had a sense of humor. "And then I'm going to surrender myself to Asmodeus. At the very least, I will be stripped of my powers, thrown out of The Coterie. I hope -- given the years of service I have rendered her -- that Lucy may deem solitary confinement sufficient. Then there is the possibility of The Pits."

I shivered at her mention of the most severe punishment meted out to the treasonous. "Will it come to that? Lucy is your friend."

She cut me off. "Lucy is The Unholy of Unholies. Friendship does not come into it. She will do what is necessary to be done."

I didn't argue. I knew it self-centered, but I found myself asking nevertheless. "And me? What's going to happen to me?"

My mother touched my cheek. "I hope very little, my dear. Asmodeus isn't interested in you. I was always the target. Worst case, you are demoted. Some powers revoked. Allocated to less salubrious duties."

"But that's so unfair. It was my error. My lack of restraint and judgement. Why should you be punished?"

"Because Asmodeus desires it of course. And because he is right. It is ultimately my responsibility, as both your mother and your superior. And I'm meant to know better. I have let The Coterie down. Let Lucy down. Opened her up to Asmodeus's machinations. I will pay the debt for my lack of oversight, my lack of wisdom."

I was sobbing now. Even after what I had done to her, Mom was putting me first. "Be brave, my daughter. This too will pass."

I hugged her. As I did, I knew that I couldn't let this happen to her. Couldn't let my stupidity bring her down. There was something I could do. And I was going to do it.

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That evening. I stood outside Asmodeus's hall. Awaiting admittance. A cloak pulled around me, its hood masking my face. Though it was dark, I craved anonymity. A manservant appeared and I stated my business. He bade me wait in an antechamber. Mere minutes later, he returned and signaled that I follow him.

We entered a cavernous room. Flaming brands, hung from soaring pillars, lit it dimly. At the far end was a monumental crepidoma, flanked by two more engraved columns, and topped by a throne. Behind this, an eldritch sphere hung. It's surface flowing balefully with an ever-shifting and pallid iridescence. The place reeked of male insecurity.

And in the throne, the angles of his aquiline face accentuated by the mercurial light, sat Asmodeus. His finger tips joined in front of his eyes. A rictus smile on his face. The spider that had caught a long-desired and juicy fly.

I threw back my hood and stood proudly. Trying to project a confidence I did not feel. "Greetings, my Lord. Thank you for granting me an audience."

His false smile grew even broader. "But of course, my dear. For the daughter of Naamah, anything. But it is warm in here, surely you do not need your cloak."

I clasped the heavy cloth closer to me. Trying to suppress my shivering. "I am here to request clemency. Not for me, for my mother. Any fault in this sad affair is mine. I am willing to accept any punishment. But I ask you, most gracious Lord, to have mercy on Naamah."

I felt emotions surge as I spoke. Tears welling in my eyes.

Asmodeus sat back in his chair and clapped. "Well done my pretty actress, well done. I can see why so many of Lucy's hangers on enjoy role playing with you. But my hands are tied. A feeling I know you are familiar with." He seemed to be amusing himself.

"But great Lord Asmodeus. Surely a man of your power and influence. Such a man can do anything."

He now laughed out loud. "Oh that's precious. Flattery. Flattery will get you everywhere. But sadly not with me. Not today. Today I have other things on my mind."

I knew it would come to this. There was never any doubt in my mind. Still I sought some other escape route. A rat frantically traversing a maze. But I knew there was none. I had only one more card to play.

I bowed my head and focused on crystalline patterns in the granite floor. And as I did, I slowly undid my cloak, eased it off my shoulders, and let it fall to the floor.

I took two deep breaths, and raised my eyes to meet my tormentor's. He had seen me naked before, but not like this. Displaying myself to him. Showing him the merchandise before contracts were exchanged. Even at twenty paces, I heard his sharp inhalation. I took bitter comfort in the knowledge that my body affected him. Affected him as it did -- in my experience -- any being with a pulse.

Maybe this would work. I was ready to pay the price, if he would only agree the terms of the deal.

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I collected my cloak and shoes from the floor. I told myself that it had been the right thing to do. That I owed it to my mother to clean up the mess I had created. The taste of him in my mouth, the smell of his sweat in my nostrils, and his secretions still oozing out of me, I took my leave and headed home. Sex, no matter how extreme it had sometimes been with Coterie members, had always been a good thing. A precious thing. Now I felt nauseated. I consoled myself with the thought of telling Mom that I had fixed things.

As I approached the house, a cold dagger pierced my heart. Something was wrong? Terribly wrong. The lights were out. And a guard bearing the insignia of Asmodeus's office stood barring the entry. I approached him. "I live here. What is going on? Where is my mother?"

The yeoman replied politely. "I am sorry, Miss. Lady Naamah was detained earlier. I understand there was an extraordinary judicial session, and a verdict was reached."

"Where... where have they taken her?"

"She is imprisoned, awaiting sentencing. I'm sorry, Miss."

I curtly acknowledged the stranger's unexpected kindness and retraced my steps to the hall I had just left. Fire raging in my heart, I returned to him.

"What the fuck, you lying scum!"

Asmodeus grinned at me. "And she returns so soon. Could it be that you are forming an attachment to me? Perhaps round two?"

"My mother! You promised to spare her."

"Did I? Hmm... my recollection is that I said I would do everything in my power to save her. Turns out, with a signed confession, my powers could do very little. Sorry about that."

"You knew. You knew already. And you still fucked me."

"I did. And it was memorable. We should do it again sometime."

My anger consumed me and I screamed, throwing my arms in his direction, flames blasting towards his hateful visage.

He deflected my puellile attack with a twitch of his eyebrow. Another twitch and I was flying backwards, crashing into a pillar. Broken masonry raining onto me as I writhed in agony on the floor.

Asmodeus left the throne and walked to stand over my crumpled form. Leaning down, he put a hand under my chin and raised my bloody face up.

"Let me speak plainly little one. Get... the... fuck... out! Before I rape you and leave your pretty little head on a spike above my entrance. And a tip for you. It might help when you are assigned to janitorial duties. Try to be a little less naïve... OK?"

He patted my cheek and left me, a broken pile on his floor.

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I reached the Chambers of Justice. I had expected that gaining admittance would be hard, but -- maybe taking pity on my bruised and lacerated face -- the guard led me immediately to her cell.

"Oh, Mom."

"My child! What has happened to you?"

I told her everything, sobbing as I did. She extended her hand through the bars and touched my face. I felt a little calmer.

Reaching forward with her other hand, my mother cupped my face. No word passed her lips, but I still heard her voice. "Emmoreth. Do not give up. Not all is as it seems. There is hope. But I need you to be safe. This is not your battle, not now at least. I need to know you are secure. Away from harm."

I had no idea what Mom was saying. But I nodded nevertheless. Ignoring her advice had got us both into this nightmare. Again her words filled my head.

"Go now. But two things. First never let a man do that to you again. Whatever your motivation. Nothing is worth that. Not me, nothing."

Once more I nodded.

"Second. And this is important. You will meet a stranger. It will be soon. Listen to him. Listen to him well. He speaks for me."

I put my own hands over hers on my cheeks and squeezed, tears flowing down my face.

"And Emmoreth, I know your anger with Cozbi is deep, justifiably so. But promise me this. Promise that you won't shut your heart. Don't let her do that to you. To love is divine. Just please try to be more careful."

Finally, she spoke aloud. "Go now, my daughter. Go and try to forget about me."

The same guard told me my time was up and ushered me out of the building. My body broken, my eyes still blinded by my tears.

I returned to our home. There was shock in the guard's face when he saw my battered appearance. He stepped aside and wordlessly allowed me to enter.

I needed a bath. I needed to tend to my wounds. I needed to think. But, more than anything, I needed to sleep. I collapsed on my bed, caring little for the blood staining my sheets.

I slept I know not how long. Many hours. Then woke with a start. There was a presence in the room. What fresh torture was this?

"Don't be scared, my dear. I think Naamah told you about me. I'm Clarence."

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My knowledge of the other place was not extensive. My role in demon society didn't necessitate it. But I had heard of him, one of Oúriēl's guys. Amongst other things, in charge of guardian angels.

He spoke for a long time. Opened my eyes to many hidden things. Treachery, intrigue, potential civil war, the true motivations of different actors. And collaboration between Heaven and Hell. Who would have guessed? Even so, I suspected that Clarence was holding back, telling me only what I needed to know. It was plain that other things were happening under the surface. I found most of it incredible, but my mother's earnest plea for me to listen still rang in my ears. I listened, I believed.

I also said I would do as he asked. As she wanted. I wouldn't appeal my conviction. I would accept my punishment. And -- when the time was right -- I would take the other steps he mentioned. Clarence told me that this was the path to safety that my mother had outlined to him. I would honor her wishes without question. It was the least I could do.

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When the verdict was read out. I said nothing. When they described the sentence, I stayed mute. When they asked about an appeal, I shook my head. Naamah's face floated before my eyes through it all.

In the correctional room, I was stripped and told to kneel. Told to unfurl my wings. The sword was raised and fell twice. Cutting sinew, severing bone. And my wings flapped bloodily on the marble floor, as the most excruciating agony claimed my senses.

Then he held out his hand, speaking words in the ancient tongue. I knew I would change, my low-rank role demanded it. To take the form of my new charge. No job for a pure-blood, unless they had fallen as far from grace as I had. Eyes closed, I felt myself shrink, flatten, become like her.

At least the process had reduced the searing pain in my shoulders. Made me whole again. They left me. And slowly I stood. A mirror in the corner of the room revealed the new and diminished me. It was worse than I had imagined.

Short. Waif-like. Flat-chested. And blonde. Why did she have to be blonde? My previously fearsome eyes were now baby blue. My flawless pink skin was now an insipid hue and -- the horror -- covered in freckles. I thought bitterly that losing my wings had been less traumatic.

Then a door opened behind me. I turned and at first thought that there was a second mirror standing there. It was me. Or rather what I had become.

The newcomer spoke and her voice sounded like the tinkling of tiny bells.

"Hi, I'm Lily. It's Emmoreth, right? Are we going to be friends?"

Clarence's words flitted across my mind. My mother's face appeared to me again.

"Friends? Sure. But it's Emma. Emmoreth has gone."

THE END

Endnotes

• Thank you to my good friend, Djmac1031, for reading as I wrote. Please check out his take on our shared Angels & Demons universe.

• Cozbi, Asmodeus and Clarence are all Djmac1031's creations. Thanks to him for trusting me to write them.

• There are many minor, and a few major, inconsistencies between my A&D universe and Djmacs1031's. Our collaboration evolved organically and we both had stories out there before we tried to link them up. View it as two different oral traditions that have grown out of the same events.