The Unique Mouse Ch. 03 - FINAL!

One week before graduation day, they were just fixing their clothes and returning to the front seats, after their 'orgasm exchange', when Keegan asked:

"Listen, my friend gave me two tickets to the movies, as his girlfriend got the stomach flu, and they can't go. Would you care to go with me?"

His voice was a bit strained, unsure. As if he felt that it was something other than just being "orgasm buddy" with Darien.

Darien opened his mouth, wanting to say yes, but he suddenly hesitated.

Two weeks ago he would have taken this opportunity without the slightest apprehension, but after their conversation that took place at the Byrne residence, he felt as if it could be a bad idea to go even deeper with Keegan. They were about to part very soon for the whole summer break, and what would happen after?

What would their 'relationship' status even be at the beginning of freshman year?

Keegan would soon start his college life and meet all the hot girls on the UCLA campus.

It would surely end in heartbreak for Darien. He didn't want to be kicked aside.

He went silent for a long time, and the question kinda hung between them.

After about a minute Keegan looked at him with some weird sadness and started the engine. As the car started moving, the silence was still there.

Darien decided finally to speak.

"Keegan, I know that you would never treat me as more than an "orgasm buddy" so I'm at a loss as to why you would invite me to... a movie as if on a date?"

Keegan stopped the car abruptly, before they entered the traffic on the road.

He squeezed the wheel so much, his knuckles went white.

"And why would you say something like that, Darien?!"

Darien swallowed hard. He could clearly hear hurt in Keegan's voice, but somehow he could not shake himself from what he was about to say:

"Can't you see yourself in the mirror? And who am I? Just some little Mouse. We are obviously mismatched!"

Keegan's lips were tightened, his eyes full of shock.

He did not say anything for about half a minute.

"Darien... I would not ask you out if I didn't want to. Believe me."

Darien snorted. He was too far gone to stop now.

"But for what purpose? It's not like we would ever be boyfriends or something..."

"We would never be boyfriends?" Keegan repeated, his face reddened, his eyes full of disbelief.

"C'mon! How would that be even possible? You are out of my league, I don't want to have my heart broken and my ass kicked when you finally find the beautiful miss right or... mister right."

Keegan was pale now; he looked almost crushed, his hands slightly trembling.

Finally, he tried to smile, but it looked rueful.

"Don't you think it's me who decides who I want to date? And what do you mean 'my league'? Seriously? Relationships do not work like that. What are you even talking about? It's so stupid, I can't even address that." He looked aside, avoiding Darien's eyes, his face pale and tense.

Darien was also trembling a bit. The conversation went out of control. It did not go like he wanted. Total catastrophe. So, he only pursed his lips.

"If it's so stupid, let's just leave the topic, okay? Leave the situation as it is."

"Fine," Keegan snapped.

Darien was so angry now he could not think straight, the muscles in his jaw twitched. He wanted to even up the game, say something more, something stupidly destructive...

"And we should also stop doing that!" Darien pointed to the back seats.

Keegan's face went even more pale, he almost gnashed his teeth.

"Fine! Whatever you want!"

"You don't have to pick me up..."

Keegan closed his eyes, as fighting with himself.

"No. Stop. I will. That one thing needs to stay like it is. It's for your safety, Darien."

"You don't have to pretend you care!"

"I'm not pretending! I do care!"

They sat for a whole minute in absolute silence.

Darien's heart was almost in physical pain. He even bent a bit.

"Fine, we can go together. But no more sexual things. It is pointless."

Keegan looked like somebody hit him in the head, with a steel rod, but he only nodded.

He started the engine again and the car soon entered onto the main road. Darien was absolutely still, his whole body squirming in pain. He did not know what just happened. It was crazy and childish. He had to fight back the stupid tears that threatened to flood his eyes.

How could this discussion go so wrong?

In the parking lot, they just got out of the car and went to school in silence.

Darien felt so bad, that he actually wanted to vomit, but fought through it.

He was devastated, absolutely devastated.

***

The last week of school was the worst.

Keegan kept his promise to pick Darien up on his way to school every day in front of Darien's house.

They did talk, but about ordinary school stuff, never mentioning what was between them before. Every time they passed by the warehouse, Darien felt the surge of painful energy inside him. He turned his head aside and pretended that he didn't see the building - a sad reminder of the pleasure he used to receive behind it.

But he kind of noticed that Keegan also glanced at the warehouse every time they were passing by.

They saw each other the last time before the summer break on Graduation Day.

As they both were good students, there was a cheerful atmosphere and congratulations from everyone. Darien did not feel as elated as he probably should; he was leaving the place where he was bullied, but on the other hand not only bad things happened here...

As he and his family walked toward the crowded parking lot, he noticed Keegan's parents heading toward them.

They exchanged some congratulations-and-small-talks, and Darien stood there, and Keegan stood there also, looking at each other with tense faces.

Finally, Darien decided to make a move.

He stepped closer and said in a polite and official way:

"Congratulations, Keegan. I hope your... expedition to Greenland will be all that you could ever dream of."

"Thank you. I hope it will be cool. Not literally, though it probably will be rather cool."

"Take some warm clothes with you."

"Sure, I will."

The moment of silence.

"So... see you in class... in college." Darien finished with an unsure tone of voice.

"Yeah. See you..."

Keegan looked like he wanted to add something, but could not formulate it quickly enough before Darien took a step back.

"So... good luck, bye."

And that was it.

Both families went to their own cars and... Darien caught one last glance from Keegan. Their cars passed each other joining the traffic and then Darien saw something...

Keegan almost plastered his face on the window and his lips said something that Darien obviously could not hear.

But he understood.

"I miss you."

Darien could feel a painful stab in his heart, but could not respond in any way, as the cars were already driving apart, farther and farther away.

***

Part II

***

The summer break was rather boring for Darien. He was trying to do responsible things, like reading some books that he knew he would need during the upcoming semester.

He also tried to work out a bit, as he did not want to be the smallest, most scrawny kid on campus; unfortunately, it did not do much for him, as his body was naturally petite and did not want to develop big muscles.

Darien, however, knew he would probably need professional help and advice with that.

So, he restricted himself only to regular jogging, as it made him a bit more cheerful and helped him burn his excess energy.

For the first two weeks of summer break he struggled with what he should do about the Keegan situation, thinking about the last moments with him and the "I miss you" whisper.

What did it mean? Was Keegan just missing Darien's nipples or actually missing Darien himself?

He was rolling on his bed day after day like an eel, from one side to another, going through their memorable conversation in his head, over and over again.

What was Keegan trying to say to him? Maybe he did not want to offend Darien by stating he was "talking stupid things", but something entirely different. And he still cared for Darien's safety. Darien remembered Keegan's face, full of pain and torment as they spoke in the car.

Had Darien's own insecurities and low self-esteem gotten the best of him?

He closed his eyes and recalled the moment... when he was beaten and scared, lying on the side of the road.

Yet all his fear vanished the second he saw Keegan's face, felt his gentle touch, and realized his obvious care for Darien's well-being. Darien's throat was almost permanently squeezed every time he brought to mind the moment they stood in Keegan's room, and the bigger boy held him in his arms.

Darien felt pain and anger, and he had a constant feeling of a loss.

He was stupid... So very, very stupid.

Finally, the decision formulated in his head. He needed to take the risk.

Jumping to his feet, he was energized, and ran toward his laptop. He opened Gmail and decided to write a letter.

Hello, Keegan.

I hope you are having the time of your life, surrounded by the vast snow-lands. I wanted to ask how you are doing?

Darien

Just a short letter, but Darien struggled a bit, before he pressed the "send" button.

He knew that Keegan would not always have an internet connection there, maybe for many days, even weeks. But he needed to do this.

After five days of nail-biting, the answer finally came.

Hello Darien,

I was pleasantly surprised by your letter. Thank you. Yes, I'm having the adventure of my life, but not everything is as it is supposed to be. But it's not a story for an email...

The rest of the mail described Keegan's last two weeks and the activity of the scientists group that he traveled with, and there were a bunch of pictures attached that Darien studied with great interest. Keegan looked so good, tanned by the arctic sun, dressed up in polar clothes. Darien stared at his handsome face, again feeling this intense squeezing in his heart.

He already knew what he had to do.

He could not leave this situation like that!

It was his responsibility to make everything right, as he was the one who broke their arrangement.

With a clenched jaw, he opened 'new mail' and wrote:

Thank you for the pictures, Keegan. You look very good. I'm so glad you are having such a great time, I hope you're making the most of this opportunity.

I know it is not the place to talk, but I need to tell you one thing:

I'm sorry, Keegan. I behaved like a dick - I wasn't thinking, I didn't give you a chance to explain what you truly meant. Not only that, but I regretted breaking our arrangements the moment I finished my sentence. And I regret that I acted in such a childish way. I always had giant insecurities and I constantly tried to protect myself by... pushing other people as far as I could. I really hope we can talk after you go back, and I really hope you forgive my... irrationality. And... I miss you too! So much, you don't even know.

Darien.

This time Darien didn't hesitate, but sent the message right away.

Keegan deserved an apology, that one thing was certain. Darien laid on a bed, looking at the ceiling. Was he stupid to regain some of his weird hopes again?

Or was he stupid to lose them in the first place?

Days went by, and Darien's hope started to slowly but surely come back. He believed he could repair their friendship, he really could... he somehow needed this faith to breathe.

Also, his thoughts started to go to new places.

He began to consider different scenarios. What if Keegan forgave him?

Would they be boyfriends in college?

Could things... become serious?

Or would they only be... friends with benefits?

The next mail came after two weeks. Darien was not anxious as Keegan explained earlier that they did not always have easy access to the internet.

I'm pleasantly surprised by your letter, I truly thought you didn't want to know me anymore. I also look forward to meeting with you. Definitely, we have stuff to talk about. Keegan.

Only this. Nothing more.

Maybe he did not have time, having only limited minutes on the internet? Darien decided not to give in to the bad mood again and not to begin to allow his childish fears and insecurities to get into his mind.

It could not bring him any good.

Keegan wanted to talk and it was a start. Darien was determined to make this right.

***

The beginning of his first semester in college was about to start in one week. His parents were not rich enough to rent him an apartment, as Keegan's parents did, but they managed to get him a single occupancy room.

He knew Keegan would be home for a few days before orientation day at college, but Darien's parents pressured him to leave home a couple of days before that, so he could get around campus, and see to his student duties.

So, Darien finally left his home with both his parents in a car, as they drove him to Los Angeles, to the UCLA housing dormitories... without meeting Keegan.

Darien was a bit anxious and uneasy, but he hoped he would see him at orientation day....

But... he did not.

He could not spot Keegan among the other freshmen.

However, Darien was a bit afraid to write to the bigger boy again, not to bother him too much, and not to seem too desperate.

The day his classes started he found a seat at the back of the lecture hall as he didn't know any students around him. He dropped his head over his backpack, pretending to search for something, only to avoid gazes from people sitting in his vicinity. They probably wanted just to say hi to their new classmate, but Darien was not a very social person.

He could not find Keegan among them, so he lost hope and was almost sure something happened. He decided he would call him after the lecture.

But as he was searching for his pen, he suddenly felt something.

Snapping his head up, he caught the familiar sight. The tall posture of Keegan was marching in his direction, his face with a rather mysterious grimace. Their eyes met.

Darien totally stopped his breathing for a moment.

He was mesmerized by the sight of this handsome face that he had come to adore so much.

He swallowed hard, feeling treacherous tears gathering under his eyelids.

Keegan was... so perfect. Darien realized he missed him so much, even more than he thought, as the pain in his stomach intensified, to the point he almost fainted.

He wanted more than just a good 'orgasm exchange' thing. He wanted so much... more! He wanted Keegan's hands on his body, on his face, his lips saying sweet words to him... kissing him. Fuck! He was so lost.

Keegan stopped just before Darien's seat.

Darien stared at him dumbfoundedly. And then in the next second - Keegan leaned down and... kissed him on the lips. The smaller boy totally froze, and other students sitting around him also looked a bit shocked by such a public display of affection.

Keegan pressed his mouth a bit more and Darien gave up, opening his lips and feeling the touch of Keegan's tongue on his tongue.

He even managed to forget, just for a brief second, about the audience surrounding them, just giving himself to this pleasant feeling he craved so much.

And then Keegan straightened up and smiled. "Hi, Darien."

"Yyyyyy... Hi, Keegan," was all Darien could offer.

"Can I sit next to you?"

"Sure, sure..." Darien studiously ignored the stares of other students, as he was fumbling with his backpack and jacked clumsily, putting it aside to make a place for Keegan.

As the bigger boy sat down, their eyes met again. Darien swallowed and smiled shyly.

"I was afraid you weren't gonna show up at class today."

"Well I could not be at orientation day, I returned very late last night."

"So, how are you doing, Keegan?" Darien asked in a hushed voice, as the professor arrived at the lecture room.

"Now? Better." The bigger boy smiled lightly.

The professor started to explain the syllabus for that course, Darien had a bit of a problem with focusing on his words. He felt Keegan's hand moving closer and... closing on his hand. He lowered his gaze. Keegan clenched their fingers together. Darien's heart started to beat quicker.

"Darien..."

"Yes?"

Keegan's green eyes were looking at him intensely.

"You were wrong then. I want you to be my boyfriend. Would you agree to be mine?"

And Darien heard himself saying rapidly and without any hesitation:

"Okay!"

It was like his body answered quicker than he could even think. Like his heart did not want his mind to find any more excuses, and to spoil things for them again.

Keegan's eyes widened, and his face lit up.

He leaned down and kissed Darien again, but very quickly because the professor could see them. Darien had never understood what that idiom meant "to have butterflies in one's stomach". But sure enough, he was experiencing it now for himself.

The rest of the lecture he spent in a blissful state and the only thing he could think of was to be alone with Keegan.

He was glancing over at Keegan's muscular arm, and his beautiful profile, with full lips.

He could finally let his shy thoughts become more... bold.

During summer break he did not let himself dwell too deeply on the possibility of being boyfriends with Keegan, but sometimes he had these little visions that were giving him an instant hard-on, about going even further than only dick and nipples sucking.

He imagined what would happen if they went on to have full sex. These thoughts were sparse and shy, but now...?

The situation changed and new possibilities emerged.

As the lecture was over, Keegan did not let Darien's hand out of his grip.

They went out of the lecture hall - hand in hand and Darien didn't mind. Some students stared at them, but it was UCLA after all, so people were rather open-minded.

"Are we... gay now?" Darien asked with a confused, but simultaneously amused face, seeing some heads turn as they walked.

"Well, do you feel gay? I suspect I'm bisexual."

"I don't know. I never had sex before... with a man or a woman."

Keegan glanced at him. "Well, you don't have to have sex to know if you prefer men or women."

Darien cheeks flushed intensely. "I... prefer you."

The bigger boy stopped and turned to him with a grin.

"Well, I was with girls. But I also never had sex with a boy. Not even a kiss. You are my first."

They stared at each other.

Darien swallowed hard and said in a quiet voice:

"I'm so sorry Keegan, I wanted to say that to you personally. Can we... go back to the moment you asked me to the movies and pretend I just said yes, as I wanted, as I... wanted so much. I was so fucking scared, that you... that we..."

"Shh... I wasn't exactly without fault. I was too proud for my own sake. And yes, we can go there. We can go to the movies together. In LA, we will find as many of them as we want! So... why don't we start from this point on?"

Darien chuckled. "Sure, we can do that!"

And they took their cellphones out of their pockets to find the movie theater and choose the film.

During lunch they sat together in the cafeteria and Keegan told him interesting stories from his trip to Greenland, they talked and just could not stop talking.

As soon as their lectures were over for the day, they went to eat something quick at a bar and as Keegan had his car, they drove to the movie theater to watch one of the latest Marvel Comics movies as they both were fans of Marvel Cinematic Universe.

During the movie screening, they held hands and kissed a couple of times and Darien's thoughts again returned to the... new possibilities. Sex.

Was it on the table now? And how did Darien himself feel about that? He was not sure if he was ready, but also... he was curious.