The Unlikely Quarterback Ch. 13

"You'll be my dental assistant," she said, and I looked doubtful. "You see, I go down there and fix teeth all day long every Friday. Most of the homeless can't afford a dentist, so I help them as best I can. Most of the time I'm pulling teeth. A lot of them have rotten teeth, abscesses and all kinds or nasty things going on. Most of the time they come to me because they are in pain and just need someone to take their pain away.

"Some of them are ex-shitheads* but the problem is that not all of them are ex. Meth has a tendency to rot teeth, but Meth addicts can also become belligerent and even violent."

*Shithead is another name for a Meth or Coke addict.

"Wow!" I said, seeing her in an all new light. "What do you need me for?"

"Most of the homeless are mentally ill and sometimes they can get violent. I have a blackbelt in Judo and can handle myself, but I'd rather have you around as a deterrent. I've been sucker punched a few times and I'd rather not come home with another black eye."

"I see... so I'll be your bodyguard then... your hired muscle? Count me in!" I grinned.

"Great! I like to get there bright and early so I can get in as many as possible. How about after our run tomorrow we carpool there?"

The fact that she threw in that our runs were now a regular and expected occurrence did not slip past me.

"Sounds good, except I have to drop my kids off at their youth summer camp. It's right down the street but it shouldn't take more than 15 minutes."

"No problem, I've got to do the same thing with my kids. Just having you around will save me a lot of time. They will more likely listen to me with you staring them down. Meet me in front of my house when you get back."

*

The next morning, I got up and we did another six-mile run. I got the kids up, took a shower, and Linda had breakfast waiting for us. She made us breakfast burritos, so the kids could eat them in the car.

I had a Cadillac Escalade, which was nice because it had third row seating which was perfect for when I needed to drive my kids and their friends around. When I was not driving my kids around, I had my Challenger Hellcat. I am not usually a car guy, but since buying the Challenger I have been coming around.

I dropped them off at the pool and stowed the car in the garage and headed over to Laura's. I guess I was a little faster than her because nobody was home when I rang the doorbell. I was just about to head back home when I heard a car beep at me. I turned to see Laura grinning at me while she pulled her BMW 328i around. She had her shades on so I could not see where she was looking but I felt like I was being inspected once again.

I hopped in her car and the first thing that hit me was the freshly washed shampoo smell from her still damp hair. The thing that really got to me though, was that it was the same shampoo that Candy used to use. I suddenly found myself hard as a rock and despite all the tricks I used to keep myself from getting hard my cock embarrassingly grew down my pant leg. I knew that there was no hiding it in the tight jeans I was wearing, yet I was silently praying that she would not notice.

I am a tall guy, so when I got in my knees were practically pressed into her glove compartment.

"Wow, you're big," she said, turning me red thinking that she meant something else. "You can slide the seat back some, maybe that will help."

I felt a sense of relief as I hit the button that slowly moved the seat back to its farthest position. It did help but my knees were still uncomfortably close to the console. That is when she noticed what was really bothering me.

"Oh my! You're VERY big. You've got nothing on my husband," she laughed.

"Sorry," I apologize. "I usually can control myself around hot women. It's..."

"You think I'm hot?" she interrupted.

"Are you kidding me? Have you seen you?" I asked, incredulously. "You're by far the hottest woman I've known not counting my wife."

"Oh," was all she responded.

"Candy couldn't wear heavy perfumes because of Ryan's aversion to strong smells. But she soon found out that all she needed was to take a shower and I would be all over her. She used to joke that all she needed to do was dab a little shampoo behind her ear and I'd come running and have her bent over the nearest furniture that would support her weight..." I said, and Laura looked flustered. "She wasn't wrong," I grinned. "Anyways, you don't need to worry about me, it'll go down eventually."

"I'm just glad I can still affect a hot guy that way," she said. "If you'd seen what was under these clothes you wouldn't be saying I was hot."

"Really? I've seen enough to know that you have a great body. You probably have guys falling all over themselves with that hourglass shape of yours. I could just imagine the riots you cause when you get in a bikini."

"My clothes hide my imperfections. My tits are saggy from having two kids, I have stretch marks that no amount of sit ups will get rid of and..."

"Whoah, whoah, whoah. First of all, I think saggy tits are sexy as hell. And stretch marks? Never bothered me. You forget, Candy had four kids. You don't think after breast feeding four kids her tits didn't sag or that she didn't have stretch marks? If anything, they turned me on," I said.

"Yeah right," she said unbelieving. "My husband thinks they are disgusting. He won't even have sex with me with the lights on... that is if it is one of those rare times when he could get it up in the first place!" she exclaimed, bitterly.

"Sorry to hear that," I said, sincerely. "But I'm not him."

"No, you're not," was all she said, and she seemed to be lost in her own head.

*

We drove down to PCH to the traffic circle in Long Beach then made our way over to Lillian's. When we arrived, I found out how much the place had changed since I had been there last. Laura parked on the street and grabbed a large leather bag out of the trunk.

"Can you grab that?" she asked, pointing to a large plastic box in the trunk. "Sure."

Once we got to the front door, we saw that it was still locked and looked as if no one was there yet.

"Sometimes Simone is late getting here. It usually has something to do with her kids. We might be here a while," she said, resigned to wait outside.

"I don't know about you, but I've got a key," I said grinning, and proceeded to unlock the door. "You can wait out here if you want," I said sarcastically.

"You brat," she laughed and surprised me by pinching my butt. "Thanks. Now I can set up and be ready by the time the line starts," she said.

"If you are going to do this every week, I don't see why you don't have your own set of keys. I'll have someone make you one. I know Simone can be a control freak but you're a dentist with your own practice. I think we can trust you," I said.

I tried not to sound annoyed at Simone after all she was busting her ass keeping this place running and being a mom to her kids.

Lillian's was a large building. It had a storage area for food and clothes. A loading dock for local donations. A large men's and women's changing rooms like a gym with plenty of toilet and shower stalls where the homeless could clean themselves before they ate.

We had a trade system going, where the homeless could either drop their clothes off to be washed and picked up later that week or they could trade their dirty clothes for some clean donations. We had some industrial sized washers and dryers like what you might find at a hotel or hospital to clean massive amounts of clothes at once, so all of this was done on premises. Each person's clothes were placed in a netting type bag to keep them separated from each other.

Of course, it also had a restaurant sized kitchen and had a full-time chef that cooked meals for hundreds of homeless every night. To help our chef cook for so many people every day there was a constant rotation of student cooks from culinary schools all around LA and Orange County. They interned there to get in practice hours they needed; it was the easiest way to get experience if you did not have a job already.

The newest thing I noticed was the small little office that was obviously added on to the building recently. The office, it turned out to be a room with a dental chair in it. There were French doors leading outside. The way Laura explained it to me, the homeless men waited in a queue outside hoping to be seen. Most of the people that showed up were there to see her only because they were in a lot of pain and she was their only option. Preventative maintenance was not an option for a lot of these people, the way that they lived.

"I have to bring in my own tools and supplies each time I come here. I can't leave them here or they would be stolen and sold for drugs," she explained, as she opened up the box that I was carrying.

"Don't they pay you for your expenses?" I asked.

"No. I'm sure they would if I asked but I can afford to spend a little money on supplies," she said. "It's one of my ways of giving back."

She was a freaking saint. The more that I got to know her the more unworthy I felt. I guess the fact that she was not available really allowed me to be her friend. In friendships it is much easier to try to live up to their standards but if she were a romantic interest I'd probably shy away.

I looked at her and said, "And you wonder why I would find you attractive."

She looked at me like she was going to say something when something from behind me distracted her.

Wham! Something him my side enveloping me up in a tangle.

"Mikey!" Simone squealed as she kissed me repeatedly all over my face.

She started doing the Minnie Mouse kisses after seeing Stephanie do them to me so often and never stopped.

"What're you doing here, Mike? You finally decide to run off with me somewhere?" she asked sultrily.

I tried to stammer out a response as I blushed furiously.

"Ahhh," she addressed Laura. "Look at him! He's sooo easy. That's why I'll always love him," she said.

"He's here with me," Laura said, answering for me since I was still tongue tied. "He's my neighbor and I asked him to come with me."

"You know, Doc. I hired security for you," Simone said and as if on cue a 6'7 Samoan who was probably more that 300lbs ducked under the door frame and entered.

"This is Neha," she started, "short for Nehemiah," she whispered. "He's a great guy, and if anyone gives you any problems, Neha will be there to squash them - uh your problems that is."

"Oh, well that was very thoughtful of you," she said, looking over at me with a disappointed look.

"Yeah, can you believe he's even studying to be a dental hygienist? He might even be able to assist you..."

"Hi," Neha said, holding out his hand to shake.

When Laura shook his hand, it enveloped her hand so completely that it looked like her hand was swallowed up by his arm.

"I'll go setup outside," he said.

Laura looked over at Simone and Simone answered her unasked question.

"I've been training him all week," she said.

"I appreciate that," Laura responded.

"Hey, you're doing us and the community a favor by doing this. The least we can do is make sure our guests are well behaved. Besides, not every volunteer would come back after what you went through. We were lucky you didn't sue us."

"So, Mikey. Picking up the married chicks now?" Simone laughed, and Laura looked a little pissed.

"I'm just playing," she said, but I was used to her coarse humor. "He's the one that got away, you know," she said, addressing Laura.

"No! He's THE guy. The one you always go on and on about?" Laura asked, surprised and this time it was Simone's turn to blush.

"What have you been saying about me?" I asked, not sure if I should be insulted or not.

"Only the truth," she said.

"He's the one with the..." Laura asked.

"Uh huh. And he could go for hours. Hell, he had two of us at one point and we still couldn't satisfy him."

Laura was staring at me like I was a piece of meat for almost a minute, but she snapped out of it and looked away.

"Yep. I know what you're thinking. He's out of my league, but there was a time when I was pretty hot stuff," she stroked her own ego.

"You still are," I said, pinching her ass. "I guess I'll go make myself useful, while you ladies' gossip."

It was going to be a hot day that day, so I decided to make some batches of lemonade for the guys waiting in line. That was something I knew I could do and not screw up.

"Oh good. Thanks Mikey. Why don't you set that up outside? We already have a line wrapped around the building," she said.

"OK. I guess I'll be your lackey for the day Simi."

"Ohhh, Christmas has come early," she teased.

When lunch time came around, I ordered some food from Baja Sonora and borrowed Laura's car to pick it up. When I got back Laura, Simone and I all took a break and sat down at the cafeteria style tables and ate our lunch.

Laura was all business, but she looked like she was getting tired.

"You're looking peaked. Everything alright in there?" I asked.

"Everything's great. It's all working like clockwork. Neha is a real godsend, and everyone is really cooperative today, even the crazy ones. The problem is... I'm working my ass off! But I've already doubled the number of patients I saw last time and I'm only halfway through."

"Isn't she the best?" Simone asked and I merely nodded smiling.

At the end of the day Laura looked completely out of it. I had been an errand boy for Simone all day, but what I did, did not compare to the grueling marathon she went through.

She looked at me wearily and said, "I actually saw everyone in line today. That was a first."

"Give me the keys, I'm driving," I said, and she did not protest, as she plopped the key fob into my hand.

On the way home, we hit Friday night traffic. Most of the traffic was going the other way, but after ten minutes of driving I looked over to see a passed-out Laura, completely leaned back in her seat, head tilted to the side, softly snoring. My heart hurt at the sight. I had not felt anything for anyone other than my family for so long, it felt foreign.

The traffic made the twenty-minute ride closer to an hour, and when I pulled into our little island neighborhood, she was still fast asleep in her seat. I clicked her garage door opener and parked her car next to what I assumed to be her husband's Porsche.

I do not know if it was just my feelings for her clouding my judgements but the first thing that came to mind was "What a douche." I mean who owns a two-seater Porsche as a second car when you have two kids and a wife? That meant that she was the one that had to pick up the kids every day and drop them off. I did not get it, but then again, I did not know him very well, so I decided not to judge.

I crept out of the car and went to knock on the door in the garage that led into the house. Before I could reach it, the door opened and out walked who I presumed to be her husband. It was not like we did not know each other at all; we met a few times at some neighborhood functions. I even was told his name at one point. At the time I was grieving so I kind of just went to these things in the hopes I could feel normal again. Sometimes I even went for my kids, I just sucked it up and pretended. But other than going to the events I could not tell you a single conversation I had with anyone.

"Mike?" he asked. "What are you doing driving my wife's car?"

"Sorry, man." Yeah, I used the safe word I used when I could not remember someone's name.

"Your wife and I carpooled down to the food shelter. She was pulling teeth all day and I think she overdid it."

He looked into the car and verified that his wife was truly dead to the world.

"Uh, I hate to ask, but I tweaked my back the other day. Could you - uh - maybe - carry her to the bedroom."

He was not walking around like someone with a tweaked back, my impression was that he was lazy. But I decided, what the hell, she could not weigh more than 120 lbs., it should be a piece of cake. So, I walked to the passenger side of her car and slowly opened it. Since she was leaning on the door, I had to do some acrobatics to keep her from spilling out of the car.

I gingerly picked her up into the bridegroom carry and she partly woke enough to lean her head into my chest. As I carried her into the house, her husband let me know that the Master bedroom was up the stairs two doors to the right. As I was passing the kitchen, I noticed some mail on the counter and saw his name on some junk mail - Gary Martin.

"Thanks Gary. I won't be a minute then I'll be out of your hair."

"Hey, no problem. Take your time. I'm just watching the game," he said, dismissing me.

"Take your time?" I whispered to myself. I'm about to drop his wife off in her bed and he says "take your time", definitely on the douche radar.

I had to do some crazy finagling to get the door open since Gary could not see fit to follow me upstairs and open the door. I somehow got it open without dropping her and opened the door by pushing it with my foot.

Having children, I was used to carrying unconscious bodies to bed and partially undressing them before putting them under the covers. It was a bit of a song and dance to do, and she is heavier than any of my kids, but somehow, I managed. I did not feel comfortable undressing her, but I did take her shoes and socks off before setting her head on the pillow and covering her with a sheet.

Before I got to leave, Laura drowsily grabbed my shoulder pulling me down to her and kissed me on the lips.

"Thanks, Honey," she said, before her head hit the pillow and she was out like a light once again.

It was a chaste kiss to be sure, but I felt guilty about it, like somehow, I took advantage of her. But I consoled myself with the fact that I had not actually done the kissing, she had, and besides, she'd never remember it.

When I got home, Luke and Leia rushed up to me giving me their daily hugs.

"Hey Dad." "Hey Dad." They both rattled off.

"Hey kiddos, how was your day?" I asked.

"Great!" Leia chirped.

"Look what they gave us," Luke said, holding up a certificate of completion of the swimming course they just completed.

"Danny says that when we turn sixteen, we can use this to get a job as junior lifeguards," Leia informed.

"As long as we get in our mandatory practice hours every year," Luke corrected.

"If you guys want to join a swim team then you get way more than your fair share of practice," I suggested.

"Can we?" they asked in unison.

They were not twins but they did act like it sometimes.

"Where's your brother?" I asked.

"He's in the living room pouting," Leia said. "They wouldn't give him an official certificate because he's too young."

"Oh, well, I'll go talk to him in a minute."

Linda was busy cooking dinner and I came in and gave her my customary side hug.

"Thanks for picking up the kids," I said, kissing her on the forehead. She pinched my ass yelling in Spanish about spanking me and shooed me out of the kitchen. "If you weren't married, Linda..." I threatened her with playful innuendo.

Linda was an older lady, in her late fifties. She was what I would call pleasantly plump and there was no real attraction there; she reminded me too much of my mom. Even if that were not the case, she was married and as a rule I do not mess with married women or people under my employ. Over the years she became part of the family. She worked for me for most of my kids' lives and to my kids she was like a second Mom. All her own kids were grown up and had kids of their own. Yet we both felt comfortable enough around each other where we could throw harmless banter back and forth and not think anything of it.