The Unlikely Quarterback Ch. 13

"Remember what I said," I heard her saying to the kids.

"I'm not your auntie today. We're going to play a joke and we need you to go along with it. Can you handle that?" she asked, and they all giggled and laughed, happy to be included in the joke.

We lived in Huntington Beach but the part of the beach with the fire pits was miles down the road and we did not want to have to trek three miles with five kids and a cooler. The trip was short and once I found parking near the lifeguard tower Laura and Gary said they would be at; I opened the back and grabbed the cooler.

"You go on ahead," Lorry said, as she was still fidgeting with her things. "Luke, can you grab the canopy? The rest of you grab the towels..." I heard her saying as I left them behind.

The cooler was heavy and bulky. Although it had wheels on it, once I got to the sand, they were useless, so I had to carry it from there. I kept looking back to see if my kids were behind me and I wondered why they had not caught up. If I knew Lorry well enough, she was up to something.

I spied Laura and her family. Laura was playing with her kids while Gary was on his smartphone doing something important like watching the latest Pornhub video I imagined. I just didn't understand why you'd even come to the beach just to do something on your phone.

Laura stood up when I arrived with the cooler and she looked amazing. She had on a turquoise bikini that tastefully covered her but still showed off an amazing and sexy body.

I was surprised the way she looked at me - with desire. I guess I did look pretty good though. I had on some blue and white colored Hawaiian board shorts that had little pictures of waves and palm trees in its design. I was a little self-conscious about my pale white skin, but Lorry insisted I go shirtless. When I looked over at Gary though I looked like a bronzed god in contrast. I mean I did get a little sun here and there, but I didn't lay out or anything, it was mainly from runs in the mornings.

I took off my sunglasses so I could get a better look and made a comment.

"Damn, you are such a freakin' liar," I started, and yes, I said freakin' there were kids present.

"Me? What did I lie about?" she asked angrily.

"You said your body was all messed up after your pregnancy. Something about stretch marks and saggy t... boobs (I corrected). But you look FINE, Damn you're smokin' hot!" I said, to which she blushed a crimson red until Gary spoiled the mood with his laugh.

"Oh, they're there," he said.

"Yeah? I'm looking at this gorgeous woman standing here in a bikini putting most college bikini models to shame and you're what busting out a magnifying glass Gary?"

"Ptttp, you don't have to sleep with her," was his response.

I was about to punch the douche in the mouth when my sister appeared sucking all the oxygen from the fire. She was obviously with me because all five children were following her like she was the Pied Piper.

Immediately I saw jealousy in Laura's eyes, so I turned to introduce her to Lorry.

"Laura. I'd like you to meet..." I began but was immediately interrupted.

"Angela. Angela Turnbow," Lorry introduced approaching Laura to shake her hand.

Gary immediately dropped his phone once he finally looked up from whatever porn he was probably watching and his eyes nearly bugged out of his head. He practically jumped out of his seat rushing over to shake her hand.

"Hi," he tried to say smoothly, and pointed at himself saying, "I'm Gary. Nice to meet you Angel," and yes he said "Angel" right in front of his wife and kids. In my eyes he was now a total and complete jackass, sometimes your instincts about a person are right on the money.

"Hi, uh, Angela is it?" Laura asked, ignoring her husband. "How do you know Mike?"

"She's his new girlfriend," little Lillian threw in, teasing me like she was on the playground.

Lorry, AKA Angela, interjected, "We've been on a few dates," she said, "I wouldn't exactly say we were exclusive - yet."

I was not planning on lying to Laura and I hated deceiving her, but this was Lorry's show. I did not know where Lorry was going with this and it is not like we conspired together and got our stories straight beforehand. This was more like improv and I was no actor. I think Lorry just wanted to see how long she could get away with her ruse before someone cracked.

The thing about Lorry was, she was not cruel to be cruel. She had a plan; she did her research; she investigated everything. If I were to call Simone and ask her, I bet I would find out that Lorry grilled her on everything she knew about Laura. She probably even hired private detectives and knew more about Gary than I did.

How do I know this? Because she has done it before; she is VERY protective of me. Not only does she love me but with the amount of money I had she made it her mission that no one would take advantage of me. Whatever she was playing at, it was not to belittle Laura or even make her feel bad.

Laura wandered up to me and leaned in and whispered into my ear, "Is that true?"

"Technically, yes, we have been on dates and no we are not exclusive," I whispered back.

Lorry knew I could not lie so she carefully crafted her words so that they were true but deceitful. I said it before, she is the smartest person I know, and I am a genius who studied with and worked with other geniuses.

Laura looked like she wanted to say more but I held up my hand and said, "Look, let me get the kids situated and we'll talk later."

"Fine," she said, angrily.

I really did not understand the anger, but I knew that Lorry probably did.

I had Luke and Leia lay out the beach towels while I set up the canopy. Once the cooler was under the shade, I offered water and sodas to whoever was thirsty.

"Who wants to go in the water?" I asked.

To which all of the kids quickly chorused with a cacophony of "I do, I do,"s.

I pulled out four sets of inflatable arm floats and said, "OK, for those of you that haven't had swimming lessons put these on."

"Luke, Leia, Mike," I called my kids. "You've all had lessons, so I expect you to show them what you've learned."

Junior looked excited about it, but Luke and Leia merely shrugged, "OK dad."

Once the kids were in the water, I turned back towards the adults.

"So, Mike. Did you know that Gary here owns a surf shop?" Lorry asked.

I knew right away that she was leading me up to something. We both were what you would call casual surfers. When either of us needed to blow off some steam, we would make the time to go surfing together. Neither one of us was any good really and it was hard to find a good beach. Huntington was black balled most days during the summer, so the surfer did not run over the swimmers. The only time you could surf was early in the morning or at night.

I considered buying a surf shop at one point, but the profit margin was so low that I turned away from it immediately.

"Yeah, according to him, he made close to a half a million dollars last year. We must be in the wrong business."

I looked over at Laura and she rolled her eyes at me. "Oh really, Gary?"

"Oh yeah, man. I've got my own shop and we even offer surfing lessons every day during the summer," he bragged, not realizing that he was setting himself up for a fall.

In a way I felt sorry for him, Lorry did not suffer fools very well, especially con men. Gary was either lying or was washing money for a cartel because there was no way he was pulling in that much money, I investigated it.

"That's funny right Mike?" she asked. "You were looking into opening your own shop and with the overhead and profit margins your analyst said that on a good year you might barely make a hundred thousand, but most stores go out of business within a couple of years."

"Yeah, that's right. It's too bad too, I always wanted to own a service business like that. What's your secret Gary?" I asked, acting like I was interested.

He seemed a little flustered that I was asking about his business but tried to play it off.

"Well you know, our little store really doesn't pull in that much business, but we get a lot of business off of the internet," he tried to defend.

Lorry looked at me and smiled and let me take the lead.

"Oh really? What's your web address so I can check it out. You must have some great prices to compete with all the wholesalers online."

Laura answered for him since he was reluctant to say anything and acted like he forgot his own domain's name.

"I think it's BossFrogsSurfshop dot com," she rattled off quickly. She was staring at him like she suspected him of something.

"That's your site? You know I've been on that site before and they don't even have a shopping cart. It just has some outdated sales for the shop on it," I said, pulling up his website on his phone. "I mean look at it, it's not even formatted for mobile media so how do you make any money off of it?"

He started stuttering, mumbling and stumbling over his words like a thief caught in the act.

"Yeah, Honey," Laura asked, "How did you make that money?"

"Ohhh, ohhh, I know," an excited Lorry blurted out like she knew the answer to the question teacher was asking.

Laura looked at Lorraine and her eyes narrowed in suspicion.

"How would you know?" she asked tentatively.

"I am very protective of my brother," she said, seriously. "When I called Simone the other day and she said there were sparks flying from him like she hadn't seen since Candy... Well I had my PIs investigate you."

"Wait, you're his sister?" she asked, surprised.

"Hi, the name's Lorraine, Mike's older sister," she said holding out her hand. "You can call me Lorry."

Gary slunk off while everyone was still focused on each other and once Laura noticed she yelled, "What the fuck, Gary! Get your ass back over here!" which just caused him to run all that much faster.

"Let him go," Lorry said. "Really, it's for the best."

"Did you know about this?" Laura asked me.

"This?" I said swirly my finger around in a circle. "No."

"I think he just wanted me here to make you jealous or something. No this was all my doing, and I'm sorry but you've got to know what's going on. Your husband put your family in danger."

"What? Danger? How?" she fired off in rapid succession.

"Well first know that your family is safe. That is if your husband runs and hides like I think he will."

"Whoah, why does he need to hide?" Laura asked worriedly.

Lorry held up her hands to placate Laura and waited until she calmed down.

"Let me start off by saying that your husband has been laundering money for some very bad people. Lucky for you, he has at least kept his business separate from yours. You even filed your taxes separately so you should be pretty safe if this ever blows up."

I pulled out one of the camping chairs and set it down so she could sit down. We all sat down under the canopy and angled our chairs so we could watch the kids while we talked. I sat next to Laura and held her hand while Lorry continued.

"You gotta know, the guys your husband is mixed up with are very bad guys. Lucky for you Amazon has had to deal with some of the cartels in the past and I was able to contact one of their lawyers."

"Cartels?! Oh god! My babies!" she sobbed.

"Calm down. Like I said, your babies are safe. Your husband on the other hand not so much. You see I told the lawyer just how stupid he was on how he almost exposed their operation with his incompetence. There's no way my PI's should have been able to find evidence of money laundering in so quick of a time, but that's just how stupid you husband is."

"Should we contact the FBI or something?" Laura asked.

"No! Absolutely not! Your kids are safe because ultimately your husband didn't lose any of their money. As far as business goes, they made money and cleaned millions in cash through his business. If you get the FBI involved... let's just say that would be bad."

"OK, what should I do?" she asked.

"Exactly what you already started doing," she said. "You had him filed with divorce papers last night, right?"

I looked over at her curious and she blushed.

"Yes," she answered softly, "That's why I needed you to watch the kids for me. I have been trying to get him to go to counseling for years. He's cheated on me over and over again. If not for the kids I would have left him years ago... How did you know that?"

"My guys are good," she said, "Sorry but they illegally bugged your house."

"What?!" Laura exclaimed, frightened.

"I know, I know. But it was for your protection. After what we found out, well that was it the gloves were off. Right now, a team of lawyers are waiting for your husband. Some of them are his lawyers and some of them are Mikes lawyers."

I looked over at Lorry and narrowed my eyes, not sure if I should be mad at her. Technically she was my lawyer too and she had power of attorney over most of my dealings. That is how much I trusted her. I would be screwed if she ever got really pissed at me.

"All the paperwork to complete his divorce and sell his business are ready for his signatures. Mike is buying up his business and transferring ownership to him for the cost of his inventory."

"Why am I buying that business? I thought you said it wouldn't make me any money," I said.

"Yeah, probably not, but you should be able to recoup most of your investment if you liquidate. Besides, this isn't about you making any money. This is about getting rid of Gary once and for all. He just needs the proper motivation to sign the paperwork."

"OK, you're going to have to explain that to me," Laura said, "I don't even know why Mike has to be involved."

"It's complicated," Lorry said, "But let me break down the finer points. Gary has been siphoning out a big chunk of your marital assets for years. We found out about them, and unfortunately the cartel he was working for cleaned out the stolen assets along with all of their money."

Laura turned pale and looked very worried.

Lorry continued, "Fortunately, we were able to gather all the evidence against him and we can use the fact that he hid hundreds of thousands of dollars in marital assets by committing fraud. We can use those assets in the split of assets in the divorce. Meaning rather than you having to pay him hundreds of thousands in the divorce, he will be awarded the money that went into those accounts instead, even though they are now gone."

"OK, so why are we buying his business?" I asked.

"Simple, he's a proud man and he has no money. He's likely to risk his family's safety just to fight for some of the assets. To him being broke is just as good as being dead."

"What you're saying is... that by Mike buying out his business, you are able to get him to sign whatever you want him to," Laura said, comprehending.

"Exactly, now you're seeing the big picture. The cartel doesn't want anything to do with that business any longer, they are out. They also want to tie up any loose ends, so they are likely to kill him unless he runs and hides and in that case they won't look very hard for him. But in order for him to run, he's going to need money."

"What exactly is going to happen with the divorce," she asked, "I don't want him coming back later and trying to get custody of my children."

"Your lawyer is going to have Gary give up all parental rights to his children. If he goes for it, which I think he will seeing as there are four hundred grand on the line if he doesn't, then you will have full and complete custody of your kids. You will not be able to claim child support, and neither will he, but he will be out of your lives for good."

"Do I need to contact my lawyer?" she asked.

"If you want, you can meet with him right now. Mikey and I will take care of the kids. You can meet us back here later when you are all finished."

Laura was crying and she even looked relieved. She hugged Laura and thanked her for her help.

She turned to me and said, "I'm sorry about yesterday, I just didn't want to break my vows until I at least got my separation started," she said.

"Now that it is... Can I have that kiss now?" I asked.

Her eyes turned from sad to hungry with desire in an instant. She practically leaped into my arms, kissing me with the fiercest kiss I'd ever gotten. When she was done, she turned to whisper in my ear.

"I promise you, if you are still interested, you'll see just how saggy these tits really are," finishing off by nibbling my ear.

"That was so hot," Lorry said, fanning her face. "You are sooo lucky he is my brother," she winked.

Laura grabbed her purse and rushed off toward her car. Before she made it fifty-feet, she turned to me and said, "Take care of my babies."

"As if they are my own," I promised, which made her smile and rush off.

Lorry and I sat there watching Laura walk off until she disappeared into the horizon. I kept looking at Lorry with her "cat got the cream" look on her face and I knew there was more.

"Out with it," I said.

"What?" she asked, trying to play innocent.

"Don't play with me, I'm not in the mood right now. I know you have more to say so say it."

"You're no fun," she smirked. "Fine, I'll tell you, but you might get upset by the news. Promise me you'll listen to this with an open mind."

"OK, but that's all I promise... wait why aren't you saying this in front of Laura."

"This has nothing to do with her - yet," she said, smiling.

She looked out into the ocean at the seven kids playing twenty feet from us.

"You see those beautiful kids out there?" she asked.

"Yeah, what about them?"

"Ever wonder why I don't have any kids?" she asked.

"Yes, and I hope you do someday. You'd be a beautiful mom," I smoozed.

"Ah, thanks," she said, sincerely. "I don't have any kids because I have so many nieces and nephews, I don't feel the need to make more..." she paused and saw me getting frustrated and smiled. "You see those five blonde kids out there?" I nodded. "They are all my nieces and nephews."

"Yeah, so? I love Stephanie's half-brothers and half-sisters like they were family too."

"I know you do. But I was being literal. You see you're their biological father," she said laughing like she just revealed the funniest joke.

"What the hell are you talking about Lorry? I haven't had sex with Simone since before I got married to Candy."

Lorry was still laughing, and said, "I swear your life is like an episode of the Jerry Springer Show!"

I was getting mad at her and was about to get up and walk away from her when she said, "Stay!" and I looked at her with my the angriest face I could give her (which was pretty tame to be honest).

"When I was interrogating Simone last night, I pretended I knew her secrets and guess what she filled me in on? The details of the secrets that I 'knew'. Apparently, Tom is completely sterile. He knows it and Simone knows it and the only way they can have children is through IVF using a sperm donor. The problem is Simone hated the idea of having kids with random strangers at a sperm bank. Not only that but she wanted all of her children to have the same biological father."

"OK, that's all well and good but I did not contribute any sperm to fertilize her eggs," I said.

"Oh, but you did," she said. "You just didn't know it. You see, Simone went to Candy with her little problem and Candy, bless her soul, agreed that you should be the father of her babies. She was even willing to allow you to have sex with Simone to do it. Hell, even Tom was willing to allow it. But they both knew that with your moral code, you could never betray Candy even if she asked you to."

I thought about it long and hard. What happened eight years ago? Candy was still alive and had not been diagnosed with cancer. Everything was great as far as I could tell and then I remembered.