All Comments on 'The Weekend'

What possessed you to attempt to write a story in the third person? That's like a giant, all seeing eye in the sky reporting what is going on. It's impossible. Then trying to change the POV to her view again was not completed as you kept reporting from the giant all seeing eye again.

Then, with no explanation, your husband just magically disappears at the bar/restaurant and, finally, at the end, it's implied that perhaps it was all set up for you to experience one of your fantasies. He asks if it was what you expected.

Don't stop writing but it would be far better to attempt writing from the point of view of one person. Only then can you write about what they are thinking. The above story was just a mess.

Have you ever read Stephen King's The Stand? In it, King spends a paragraph mocking one antagonist because he writes fiction in the second person.

There’s only one thing to say about writing stories. In the second person, don’t! You proved one of the reasons by getting confused at the end and moving to third person. It just doesn’t sit comfortably with the reader, and makes it difficult to get to the end. Pity, because the story would have been fun, and you have some good ideas. 3 stars for that.

Tastefully written, I believe all women should get to experience their sexuality like this at least once in their life

Third person does not work for me

This POV guarantees a broken story and a low rating. Big mistake.

Best part about this is the commenters who don't know the difference between 2nd and 3rd person. The story? Total shit.

Would be interesting to rewrite this losing the second person perspective which is hugely difficult to write and to read. The storyline is sound, and you’ve developed as a writer since, so I think it would be good.