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Click hereThe food was finished. Elle held her cup with both hands, as if she were warming them.
"Well?"
"Well, what?"
"What do you think about what I said last night?'"
"Which part?"
"The part where you're my boyfriend and where I move in with you. That part"
"What about your parents?"
"They both love you. You already know that. You're the son my dad never had. Always watching baseball and going fishing with him. Hell, he'd marry you himself."
"I don't know. Can you ever forgive me for sleeping with your sister and Jade? I mean, you did leave without so much as a good-bye."
"If I had said good-bye to you, I never would have left. Every time that I was having a shitty time at school, I thought about that night after Jade's party. It always cheered me up. And as far as Jade goes, fuck her. She texted me as soon as see saw me leaving here. I knew what she'd do. I just thought that you'd play harder to get."
I reached to my night table and picked up my phone. 2 minutes later, the video of Jade telling the world about us fucking had finished. Elle didn't look happy, but she knew why I'd done it.
"You should have fucked her in the ass."
"I'm saving that for your beautiful ass."
My lips found their way to her neck.
"Keep that up and I swear we're staying in this bed all day."
"Do you honestly think that I have a problem with that?"
- COMMENTS
Anonymous5 days agoGreat story, but I honestly started wishing the author had actually gone with the Jade-redemption arc instead of Elle romance. Would've really liked to see MC putting that baby in Jade's belly as she was promising. Instead that entire plot was dropped like a hot potato and never mentioned again. Would've make for some fucking amazing story, tbh.
I feel that this is where the story fails. Such an amazing opportunity to redeem a bitch and involve her in a love story with her victim that would make her grow up and become a good member of society and make up to MC by giving him a lifetime of love and devotion. Hell, it could've worked even as a spin-off from this story.
Instead, their dalliance just peters out as she finds a guy her age without saying anything and just stops coming by. Real downer.
For some reason the author can't keep the ages of the MC and some girls straight. MC changes ages during the present-time-period like 2 or 3 times, going from 29 to 27 and then even to 26, finishing at 28. Youngest neighbor daughter goes from 13 to 16 in a single day. Either this story was written over such a long span that the author forgot the details when he got back to it or what, I don't know.
One last issue I had with the story is the unexplained and irrational part at the start where media and others hound and attack MC for BEING THE VICTIM of police fuck-up. His wife and unborn child had died, were murdered by the cops and MSM harrass him instead. He had no gun while he himself was shot as well, witnesses confirmed they'd been on a date and apparently he's treated as the killer of his wife. I mean, wtf?! Makes no fucking sense. I get that the author wanted him to be target of Jade's harrasment, but should've worked more on the how and why.
Great story with a LOT of wasted potential.
Marklynda22 months agoWow what a way to break a dry spell a girl of your dreams and two virgins! A very well thought out and written story. I definitely look forward to reading more of your work. I appreciate your and your Muse's imagination and abilities to bring it to your story. Thank you for sharing your vision and talents.
Anonymous11 months ago“ there was remnants of Elle and I on the sheets. “
Remnants is a plural word. Should be: there WERE remnants.
There were remnants of Elle on the sheets. There were remnants of me on the sheets. Put together, should read: There were remnants of Elle and ME on the sheets.
I’m sure those who came for a stroke were pleased but those of us who want a well-written story are definitely disappointed.
