All Comments on 'The World Made Yonder Pt. 05'

great ending to a great story

A great story. At times it felt like you were watching a car crash, but you couldn’t look away.

Would love to know what happens in 10 years time!

Last chapter was really blah - take it back and rewrite it - so many things left open.

So many twists, so conflicted. I really enjoyed this story, thank you.

And finishing it from Stephen's point, to demonstrate how all this struggle reflected on him was a great decision. I'd really like to read more from you, LW lacks stories that open characters as good as Celia and Joey were opened here

Well done! Quite the story arc, and top-notch descriptive writing in my view. I never thought i'd think this way during earlier chapters, but i actually came to the conclusion that Celia and Jey could have a future together. Although it might have been more fitting if they'd separated/divorced and dated anew, minus the influence of Jackie and others. I suppose prison did serve as a separation but that wasn't the type i had in mind. Celia was clearly a bit messed up/manipulated for a long time, however as Joey admitted to himself these character flaws were never hidden. It's almost as if it took the decade after uni for Celia to properly grow up. As an aside, i found Stephen just a tad annoying for some reason. lol

P.S. I wouldn't be completely averse to a short follow-up exploring how Celia and Joey renewed their relationship after prison.

this is one of the best stories ever posted on LW

Excellent. You really have a flair for storytelling. Please keep writing.

nice job!

My only unanswered question.... did Lorna truly quit? And does Stephen have a good relationship now with Josie?

Great work. Thanks for sticking to your guns on the plot and not following the conventional LW route.

Doesn't work for me. The series overall was intriguing, but I hate the pussy-ass copout ending. "Oh no, he got Lorna pregnant, so whatever the bitch does is justified retroactively!" Nope. Doesn't work like that. The selfish cunt should've been left in the dust in the first part of this series.

Well done, dude with the coolest name in the universe!!!

Quite a tale you wove here and wrapped up with a nice neat bow.

I have read hundreds of stories on this site that have been great tales but handled the epilogue terribly. Your ending was unbelievably well told - simply outstanding! While I still have questions on how the story played out in the between years, it's only because you drew me into their world so thoroughly. 5+*

Heck of a job. Just a fantastic story all around.

Very well done. Far more insight and depth than the vast majority of what you see in LW. Giving this a 5 doesn't do it justice. I hope you continue writing. This site needs more quality.

Now for a quibble. I wish authors here would not have characters written as highly educated speak as follows:

"'Not yet,' said Celia. 'Joey and me plan to discuss it tonight.' "

Suddenly Celia sounds as if she is a low IQ Chav.

Superb writing.

Wow. So, the writing is spectacular. Top notch and professional. I think you cover every emotion possible and so well.

I will have to go back and read the earlier chapters and I am still not sure why she cheated at the birthday party. In this chapter is explains how her friend had it all set up and I forget why she cheated but her explanation in this chapter where she blames her husband has me at a loss. Also, I thought I had read where in an earlier chapter Lorna was being devious and was after the company. She wasn't really in love with him. Here you have Lorna in love.

Lastly, you make Celia very mean and bitchy. Each time our main guy decides he loves her and will make it work she does something so mean he has had enough. The last fight in the bed room when he explains he may have gotten Lorna pregnant the things she said would for me have torn out any heart I had left and I would have seen an evil shrew before me. I would go forward with the divorce and easily get full custody. Screw her fathers threats. I really do not see why or how these two are together and if I read it correctly their son Steven says his mum ad dad LIKE each other. Did not say love and in fact now that I think of it they don't have another child together. I wonder if they are just room mates for the sake of Stephen and now will divorce?

I gave you full marks but I'm confused about the ages at the end. Stephen was 6 or so when Joey had his affair with Lorna. Was the little girl the product of a continuing relationship or should Stephen have been considerably younger when he discovered that?

Too convoluted of an ending.

The original plot was good. But how it wound up was…..dissatisfying.

And moving forward in time to “wrap it up” from Stephen’s POV just did not work, because it robbed the reader of the emotional catharsis between Celia and Joey when tne came to their decision to, apparently, stay married.

3*** for this chapter. 4**** for the whole piece.

Very nice.

You actually saved this entire series with the last 10% of the writing. I saw the RAAC coming, the twist of it actually being his kid was good, I thought he was an idiot with Lana -- but I get the story line. His wife was a train wreck. Why do people keep hanging around venom spewing friends? If you can't accept my husband, why do I hang around you? But this trope of many LW stories -- the angelic wife being led astray by the feminist friend -- is so overused. The wives just seem brain dead. But the in the last story with Stephen, you saved it all. We didn't see all RAAC hand wringing, all useless stilted dialog. You tied up the story with a nice little bow and left her friend there with a tickle of Son's repeat Dad's mistakes. Only thing I don't see is that the Son lost respect for his parents, I would respect the hell out of the thought they could deal with such issues. But overall it took too long to publish, but it was a good story.

Oh take your 5*

Really good story till the very end. Joey had a half sister that his parents were never going to tell him about? The little girl had a half brother she never heard about? Other than that I thought the whole story was really good.

I’m a Stephen whose DNA did not pan out as well. Thank you for ending this with my deepest wishes: parents who overcame their betrayals and remained close. I had a few minutes of a happy ending. Sadly, real life is not as gracious.

This series was easily your best work, but you really hurt your readership by going so long between chapters.

Hooked

And maybe not knowing exactly what transpired for the next several months/years with Celia, Lorna, et al is okay. Still would like to have had Jackie fleshed out a bit after the knock on the noggin. Obviously Joey/Celia are more than okay. However, part of me wants to know. And I think Stephen is just being immature, because after all, he is only 21. I would like to think that Joey and Celia would have sat him down and explained in detail how F'ed up their lives were until they got on track and how complicated married life can be.

I do wonder how long until someone writes an Alternative ending to this saga? I can see a myriad of possibilities!

Thank you FTC

Wow, complicated. It was like changing keys and using the entire circle of 5ths to get there. Still no reason to take her back, and no reason to not. Just kind of a case of neither one of them worth getting to know.

Nice job, good serial, I think it tied up nicely. YOu will get some heat from the hardcore BTB's but both parties had warts and this was a fair, even treatment.

Good story as I read them all. i thought it was well written and maintained a flow throughout the five chapters.

15 yrs she 14 or15, mom go back, how this play at home? There are more hanging none answers. LOVE slap hapy papy #9

First of all, you can tell how GREAT a story is by the level of negativity and vitriol from ANON and The Usual Suspects. So, great job! I loved the entire series, and I think it would be a great serialized film or TV adaptation. Excellent work, especially the level of detail and the way you explore the mental aspects and thought processes of the characters.

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Far from creating the absolutist, black-and-white, zero-tolerance ANON craves, you told a story with depth, nuance and the foibles of the imperfect human who lives inside us all.

.

Thanks again for the great work. Your toil was worth it.

Very well written. I saw the page amounts and thought "Oh God another one who cant get enough of their own writing". That didnt end up being the case, I enjoyed every page. I did have a few issues here and there but nothing that would ruin the story.

Not a huge fan of the jump in time at the end, but it didnt ruin it just not usually my thing.

Well Done!!

5 stars. Had me firmly entrenched in this story the whole way through. Even sold me on the reconciliation. The end bit with a grown up Stephen was nice as well although I'm surprised about the loss of respect part. Had his dad just acted how most people would he would have grown up with a divorced family. Look forward your next work.

This deserves a much better score.

Well you put together a great ending for an excellent series of stories. Giving the final words to Stephen was brilliant story telling, and something novel in LW. Having Celia clock Jackie with a bottle was a great idea, after all the upheaval that damn bitch caused. Bursting the balloon about the great Bjorn was needed to bring everything together. Long story about a lot of mistakes, but you wrapped it up very nicely.

Really pretty good, Really. . .,

but it suffers from sequential plot wandering. Its obvious you didn't know where this story was going until you almost finished it. But your dialogue had loaded your story with motives and behaviors that your plot later made irrelevant, even contradictory.

The wife states pretty clearly and emphatically that she wanted Bjorn's child, that she had complete contempt for her husband and his seed, and that she would have never married her husband, and would have readily divorced him, if she could have Bjorn. But when you decide to abandon that plot trail you have her claim that all that contempt and disrespect was "going out in a blaze of glory"? Hmmmm . . . , so being Bjorn's slut was glorious, then when the plot changes, falsely claiming to be Bjorn's slut is glorious? This is just one example of your tedious and cheap character morphing.

When the father is lecturing the daughter he has complete contempt for her. Then later he is threatening his son-in-law for reacting too harshly to how his daughter cuckolded and ridiculed him? I guess the whore's father would have been OK if his son-in-law also committed suicide? I don't even understand what the father's preposterous contradictory sentiment added to the story. What was the point?

I did like the son winding up the story, but I was surprised he didn't remember that he had already been told his biological father was different from his live in father. As many times as he watched Hercules, and for what reason, you expect us to believe that Stephen "forgot" that when he was 6 years old he was told he was a bastard? And lived for weeks thinking his parents were getting a divorce? So the whole drama of learning of his step sister when he was 18 fell flat. And why didn't his girl friend ask what happened to his half sister? I mean his Mom knew, his Dad knew, now he knows. Did Lorna and Josie just disappear?

Whatever. I guess as long as it took to wrap this up we should not be too critical if the wrapping looks like scrap newspaper. The contents were promising, just an opportunity missed. I hope you try again, and maybe write the entire story in a logical and reasonable continuum, start to finish. I had to reread the entire series every time I started the next installment for it to make sense. What does that tell you?

Thanks for the effort.

This is the kind of quality writing that makes wading through the Loving Wives swamp worthwhile.

I think the best chapter was the first. The rest was convoluted and lacked a focus in the plot.

Applause my friend. You had my attention through it all, had me waiting for the 27th of each month when Freddie would release and you have done due diligence. I support RAAC but only if both partners get even and this is by far the best RAAC story i've ever read. My only wish is that someone would read this, have enough money, take your permission and make it into a movie.

Lastly you are an excellent writer. Thank you for your efforts in providing entertaining literature. Looking forward to the next.

It was very well written and an interesting story with lots of twists.

My one major criticism was the decision to tell the epilogue from Stephen's point of view. Introducing a new character (Jenni) as a love interest in the epilogue is never a good idea. The reader has no emotional investment in that character because we know nothing about her.

'And that's when your mother told you about the Swedish guy?'

Celia already told him that Joey wasn't his father. The kid was traumatised by that news! Later, they must have sat him down and said that Joey actually was his daddy, but there's no way Stephen would forget all that drama.

The biggest problem with telling the epilogue from Stephen's perspective, was that we never really got to see Celia broken and humbled by her experiences. You wrote her as a cruel cold-hearted feminist bitch, and it would've been tremendously satisfying to see her tamed into a doting Stepford wife. Joey deserved that after all the shit she put him through. Him getting Celia pregnant again, and seeing how much she wanted him to be the father, would've been a better way of showing her character growth (And probably would've got her a reduced sentence if she was knocked up).

Good story, just a shame the ending fell a bit flat.

Not one likable character in this story.

You touched a lot of issues very well.

Good writing.

Cheers

This should be the go to story for those authors who want to learn how to create characters the have not one redeeming feature and that includes the child.

'Because I knew it would hurt you! Because I blamed you for what happened!'

'You blamed me for your cheating?'

'Yes! I thought that if you had made me happy in the marriage, I wouldn't have wanted to cheat.'

'Do you know how fucked up that sounds?'

'Of course I do!'

Prime example of how people blame someone else for everything that goes wrong with their lives. Instead of accepting responsibility for their own lives and the decisions they make they blame shift while comfortably wrapping themselves in that security blanket of victim-hood.

Its your own life...good, bad or indifferent....Own it.

I don't know why some here seem to think that the quality of a story somehow involves having at least one "likeable" character. What is needed are INTERESTING characters, and this author has created several. While it's always possible to quibble about "this" or "that", this is a very fine piece of imaginative writing in a category that seldom sees true creativity and intelligent character development.

They were two messed up people. The two kids, Stephen and Josie had screwed up childhoods because of it. I hope Steve reached out to his little sister and bonded with her. She was innocent. Jackie got what she deserved. Should have stopped her hateful meddling in others' lives. Celia and Joy stayed together because no one else would want these damaged people.

One of the best series I've ever read on this site. Great insight into human nature in all it's complexity.

Excellent!

Very interesting, I enjoyed it.

I particularly liked the fact that all the characters were flawed and that as the story progressed Celia's transgression became

less egregious compared with her husband's' particularly as she was set up by her 'friend'. Enough was made of the

minor characters that we could imagine what Jeremy thought of his partner's boffing the payroll and what Celia's father felt

about his son-in-law's inexcusable behavior. What an asshole the husband was to his new girlfriend.

It was generally well-written too. I liked the ending with the self-righteous son. Pity about 'discretely'-if you don't know how

to spell it don't use it!

I sure hope you get paroled soon. You really are trying to fill the time. This was a well written story without a single redeeming character including the victims. Even the girlfriends pause on hearing his statement speaks volumes of what kind of life he has to look forward to with her.........just a matter of time.

I guess that the camel in your name is justified. You can go on and on and on and never reach a resolution that anyone with a backbone or sense of responsibility would accept or tolerate.

You should really call this story Joey and Celia a bi polar journey

What a sad bunch of characters, not many redeeming features at all for any of them.

However, that being said this chapter was the best of the story, and gave the tale purpose and meaning. It was fitting they stayed together.

Scores 4/5

Interesting and well written. While I didn't really like either of the characters, they were interesting.

Didn't quite like your ending - not the content so much but how you presented it.

A fabulous story. Rich, complicated, intense, suspenseful, beautifully written. Absolutely one of the most compelling things I have read on Lit. Congratulations on a truly splendid success.

Thanks, ohio

Bloody hell ! What a brilliantly written story; so many beliefs explored, wild swings in the characters emotions and actions that came as surprise and a denoument that was hard to predict. One of the very best of this genre.

Thank you.

Most times complicated stories get too hard to follow and stay interesting. This story definetly held my interest and covered many deep issues. My favorite read in months. Thank you for your work

Fuck you're good...5*

Only moan is that I had to re read all the parts before reading part 5 as I had forgotten much of thr build up.

I do think she had changed but I'm not sure they should have stayed together. What she did was stone cold and I find it difficult to believe that part of her wouldn't resurface. Still a really well written story so I gave 5 stars

Truly impressive story.

Meh. Boring, long-winded and barely a likeable character to be found. Joey constantly making excuses for other people's shitty behavior got old real quick, as did Celia being a goddamn sociopath and never being called on it.

Honestly couldn't be bothered to care about anything or anyone presented here. I admit I skimmed the whole thing, but I guarantee I missed nothing of merit.

I liked the complexity but the ending seemed contrived.

Good twists and turns in this story. The characters were believable, had realistic reactions to news, made mistakes, and no one was a Mary Sue. The fact that you had Celia only begun respecting Joey when he became a dominant man who took what he wanted and would not fall for her machinations was classic female behavior. That was the instant that solidified the relationship because women will never stay faithful with a man who they don’t respect as a man. Sadly the qualities women respect in men are often not the qualities of a virtuous and righteous man rather they are of a man who is a domineering, can be amorous at times, and often has little respect for her own feelings. In other words, women do not respect a man who treats her like a Queen because no woman wants a doormat who acts as her servant.

Overall it was a good story, 5 stars.

3 stars.

It took three attempts to finally get through this story.

I had a very hard time trying to understand why the wife had such a thing for a totally useless cad 'the swede'.

She finally had the temerity to just flaunt her infidelity right in her husband's face.

Then the husband was just a wimp/cuck and that was beyond ridiculous.

After chapter 1 I was ready to be done with this series. Glad I stuck it out. One of the more complex and we'll written series I've read on this site.

Personally I would have liked to see how their relationship played out rather than a brief synopsis from Stephen's point of view.

It's too bad by time they actually learned to like each other as well as love each other that they missed their chance to have another child together.

Freddie the Camel is a writer! That was almost poetic. Well written, and interesting. Five stars.Top Notch.

A masterful piece of literature. Fraught with emotion and nuance. And what a delightful coda as told by Stephen.

Surely you are working on a sequel or two. Joey and Celia. Joey, Lorna and Celia. Stephan and Jenni. Surely your muse is whispering in _your_ ear about further happenings of these characters.

An obvious 5-star effort and a "favorate story" rating from this fan.

I read this for the Loving Wives story. But a writer of your skill has induced me to explore your other offerings.

Great overall story!

Excellent plot twists and refusal to give in.

I'm really glad I stuck it out. It was rough going there for awhile but overall a really good story.

wow u need to proof read ur stories man that was messy and work on ur tenses and ur to, too, two. u wrote celia as a perfect example of bipolarism. every character needs help badly. no one is likable even the kid who has whatever his mother has. also sounds like what her father has. joey needs to run fast and far that family is crazy lol. it was a bit hard to enjoy with almost every other sentence had an error in it and some sentence that made no sense, broken sentences. i did enjoy the plot

sort of cheated the ending there wonder what happen to the loran joey relationship

It seems they never told Stephen that Joey actually was his birth father in the story. Also I would have thought a 6 yo would retain those memories of his parents telling him that Joey wasnt his daddy, unless he repressed the memory.

A very talented writer and a riveting story. A total 5 with great dialog and plot. However, the ending was rushed and the story of Celia and Joey was glossed over. The eighteen year old wuss who saw his father with a woman and a"little girl" was not what this story was all about. It was about the dynamic of Celia and Joey. If the little girl was indeed the result of that weekend escapade, she would be about twelve years old. There was so much more story to be told. Too bad it wasn't.

Amazing. Great imagination.

Wow, a great story with many twists and turns. Well written, great dialogue between characters.

5* at least.

Quite an intense story that I was not able to stop reading. Wonderful writing and many twists. Wow, wow, wow. Thanks very very much for the wonderful contribution. I didn’t think that I would ever have any sympathy for Celia, but at the end I wanted to give her a big hug.

That had everything, a great character build up, no unbelievable bollocks, real people with real failings. I do hope you write more of this quality, and look forward to everything you produce. Thanks for a great read.

Very good story. Characters were developed the best i have ever read on this site. If you believe Stephen's description,morality seems to have skipped a generation. He sounds like his grandfather's character. Good for him The girlfriend's comment about why tell Joe would have me heading for the nearest exit..... Also if I were to generalize a theme it would be "Can't live with him/her and can't live without her. Laura ? What did she get out of her stupidity? Jackie is a typical maniputative Troll whose fat ass is used for a brain and a conscious. One last thought.... I have never met a true fem in the throw of a male female sex orgaism...

Wow. Wonderful all the way through.

LWlurker

Well done.

Loved it

This is by far your best story,actually one of the best on this site. Well written and REALISTIC which made it Believable.That alone makes it a success.

Your characters as developed stayed true to form as the tale unfolded. Story line smoothly moved along. No repetitive self justifying ongoing explanations from the lead characters. Even the huge gap with Lornas' life,the gap felt appropriate/acceptable with the way you filled it in by explaining it in a few paragraphs involving Stephens life. That is Good Writing. JZK

Enjoyed story plenty to turn each corner. Shame there as not a bit more about how he stuck with her thru the arrest and cemented there trust and future love rather than the abrupt end to there story. But non the less very good I enjoyed the happy ending

FACT The ONLY reason why the wife came back to the marriage was because she found out that her so called her best friend set up the wife and lied about the entire situation with the Swedish guy all those years ago. .

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The wife doesnt REALLY regret her actions! If Jackie had not also fucked the Swedish guy and lied about it then the wife would be happy the marriage ended .

THESE ARE TWO MESSED UP PEOPLE!! -- Only they are not.

.

The only person here who is truly messed up from the beginning of the story the cunt whore wife. The husband Joey made have been kind of conventional and ordinary but HE was not full full of deceit. He REALLY loved his wife er It wasn't a deception and a fraud like she was. The Husband only went Goofy and started doing crazy stuff ONLY because of the contempt and hatred and disgust his wife had for him. He just found out that the son isn't his and that the entire marriage has been a complete sham. Of course he is going to react.

A nice twist at the end.

All of those words... And no ending to a very convoluted story. 3 stars

5*. Thank God (and the author) for a complex, nuanced story, in addition to being vwell written and edited. I'm sure there are a lot of readers looking for a one page, black and white, good guys bad guys story but I'm not one of them. Thanks.

Guy had a shit or get off the toilet moment and he choose the 3rd option and shat on myself

This story had more twists than a pretzel. It made soap operas look like kiddie shows. Good read!

Spectacularly well written story, one of the two or three best that I have read on Literotica. 5*****

Remarkable gem of a story, What hectare states below echoes my thoughts entierly, complex, nuanced and reflective of complex real world relationships.

Cuck shit.

I'm starting to get the picture.. all your stories are slow, boring snooze fests and the husbands have no mimd of their own or backbone and balls... I ahev a alot of problems with this story.. the first is the length of the story.. I skipped a few chapters as I was already bored. The 2nd is the husband seem to be lacking balls, spine and any self respect. Which is a problem for me. This is the second story I've read of yours and the second husband that stayed in a fuck'd up ass relationship . Celias declaration that she wanted to have bjour child should've really been enough for a divorce, I mean wtf can you do with that? Why would you want to stay with a woman that has no love and respect for you?. Why would any sane person with balls that actually hangs to the ground, stay married ro a woman who purposely deceived him for 6yrs? She believed bjour was Steven's father and was elated, kept it from him as he played the fool, making him raise her lovers love child. The most pathetic part of this story(apart from the wimp husband lack of balls of course) is the slit wasn't even sorry! Wasn't even remorseful. .. what irked me about this story is the MC wimpiness. Is there a reason why he allows people to treat/talk to him crazy? I ask because his father in law had some fucking nerves to threatened him, bit the wimp just stood there... I would've told him about his slut daughter, asked him where did she learn it's OK to have another man's baby and try to pass it off as her husbands? I would've then proceeded to tell him maybe had he raised his little ungrateful slut right and taught her morals, respect, fidelity, vows! HE wouldn't be hell right now.. fuck him, his fake outrage, and his self righteous and his disrespectful gutter cum slut of a daughter.. than throw his worthless ass out of my house.. just who in the fuck did dude think he was talking to? He has no right to be angry at the MC, his daughter is the one who did this. I'm confused as to what type of man with any balls and self respect would allow this man(father I'm law or not) to talk to him like he's crazy? His ass would've been thrown the fuck out of my house.. I just don't understand this MC.. he didn't get angry, he just cried, ran away and threw pity parties. Maybe that's why Celia was fucking bjour(whatever the fuck his name is) she saw him as a wimp😂😂😂.. I agree with her perception...the author tried to give him some balls in the end by having him actually in fact fathering Lorna (I think) baby. It just fell flat.. I still saw him as a wimp cuck who stayed witha. Slut he should've divorced that night in the room when she looked him in the eye and told him she wanted to have her ex boyfriend/livers kid.. he will FOREVER be a wimp.. is this story suppose to be some type of warp romance? It's not. There's nothing romantic or loving about this relationship.. Celia attacking Jackie just made me wonder did she do it cause Jackie was putting down joey(the wimp hubby) or did she do cause she found out her bestfriend, the woman that's been helping her ruin her marriage, is nothing but a two bit miserable slut who has been banging bjour? 🤔... do I think her attacking Jackie is enough reason to not go through with a divorce? FUCK NO!. she STILL cheated.. she still disrespected him and their marriage.. why would anyone stay married to such a person? Love?😂😂😂😂😂 this is not love.. this is about a man who is indecisive, he spends a lot of time whining instead doing something.. I don't understand why this story was so many chapters. 😕... the reconciliation (which we all saw coming) could've been done in chapter 3.. this story was long winded and drawn out.. it was also a fucking bore. It was a lot of, oh poor me my wife cheated on me and told me she wanted her lovers baby. Told him he wasn't good enough to be the father to her kid, what am I gonna do? Give me a fucking break... the decision was simple and easy.. Dump the slut and move the fuck on with your pathetic life.. he couldn't decide what to do about the tramp he's married to or the tramp he slept with.. 😭😭😭😭😭.. I would've cheated on him too.😭😭😭.. nothing worse than a man that can't make hard decisions. How is he a business owner? He's too fible and indecisive... the other thing that bugged me was the writer never really explained how the wifes DNAtest showed her lover to be thw father but his showed him to bw the father? All it said was there was a glitch... no dice... most sane people would've asked the test be run more than once to be sure.. so i think the author just pulled the husbands DNA test, proving he's the father out of his ass. as an excuse for reconciliation 🤷🏽‍♀️. the only people that's going to love this trash are the cuck wimps who enjoys cucklodry. They believe it's OK for a wife to not only cheat but to bring them home bastard babies from their lovers. They believe yes, staying in a marriage for kids(😭😭). .they believe a woman such as this deserve a second chance. Failing to realize she's had multiple chances. In the 6yrs she knew she cheated and it wasn't his kid, she had hundreds of chances. Then when she speaks to her stupid slut friend, her weak minded ass listens to the slut tell her it's OK to screw her husband in the divorce, make him pay for a kid that isn't his.. yeah, she's a keeper😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 NOT!. This woman shouldn't be married. She's easily influenced, easily manipulated. She's a grown woman who have no mind of her own. The cuck and the slut are actually perfect together..

A melodrama worthy of the bard, although I’m not sure if it leans to the tragedy or comedy. Maybe if you killed off Jackie! Actually, this reminds me, albeit quite loosely, of the 2000 tragicomic film ‘Sordid Lives’ set in a small town in Texas, in which a morally bankrupt extended family navigate through a scandalous matriarch’s funeral with outrageous results. Not the same, or even similar plot, but the same types of reckless, mean spirited characters stumbling through their foibles and missteps and somehow emerging intact on the other side with their humanity bruised but intact (except for Jackie, of course - hehehe!). Very entertaining indeed.

This is amazing. I don't have the words to express how impressed I am with your writing. I found myself rooting for all of these people, as flawed examples of real humanity. Impressive. You are at the top among the writers on this site.

Thanks I enjoyed this.

Messed up? Oh hell yes, but well told.

Have too wonder why Stephen has no full blood sibling/s though...

Great story and a very clever way of ending it.

What a messy, nasty, insane pile of crapolla... just like many peoples' real life... a well written, complex, and entertaining story... and the ending that has no ending?... the finality of all naive, dysfuctional, and manipulative people who haven't a clue. 5*****

What a great story, top 10 LW for sure.

I love the story, it's compelling and very well done, but Celia is a horrible narcissist at best, outright evil at worst. Joey is a damned fool for not dropping her at once, to get her and her psychotic father out of his life as much as is possible given Stephen's existence. Neither of these two lunatics have any respect for him, and they never will. It's no surprise there's no second child.