All Comments on 'The Worst Gift'

The best story today not in Randi's event, for sure.

5⭐ Great story. thanks.

For a first story I think that you did VERY well! Congratulations and Kudos for getting out into the writing world. Very decent story and told rather well. Thanks

What a great first story. No nonsense and a realistic ending. Well done and an easy 5 from me.

The twist in the tail was nice !

Well written.

Wow... a deep dive into the staleness of selfishness, lack of respect, lack of love and heartache.

A woman who does not measure consequences to have a child, who continues her sordid affair for a decade and in the end still blames others for her "misfortune".

The presumption that Scott was Angus's made her expose all her dirt, along with Darren's supposed "friend" and godfather.

Scott's attitude towards his Mother did not seem to me to be exaggerated, quite the contrary. He did not fail to give his support, but he put his "non-biological father" in the first place. She will always be his Mother... Although, at times Scott may feel sick because of that.

Conception by the sperm donor, when discarded, put Angus in his rightful place, mainly for its fallacy, for Darren, at the time of the last confrontation.

There may be those who will say that Darren should forgive his cheating wife and be friendly since Scott was his entire son... In my view this should never be called into question.

She deserves everything she is getting, for her selfish, disrespectful and vile behavior.

The writing that followed the text, in my poor understanding, was clear and if there was any grammatical flaw, it didn't bother me, because I didn't even notice.

As your first job proposal, I offered 4 stars. It wasn't one more, because I'd rather traitors suffer a little longer. Maybe not physically, but emotionally and financially.

I made it to follow the author and not lose sight of him. Waiting for the next works.

But that's just my opinion

I question any stories that has a son take his father's side in a situation such as this. It just does not happen if the mother had been at all a good mother. Maybe children are different in UK.

Very good story, great first story. As an American, I enjoy reading English English stories (British english?) But sometimes lose a little in the translation. No problem with this story. You had the twist I hoped for with the true father of Scott being the MC.

LW staff didn't do you any favors ( or should I say favours ) by releasing your first story with all the established author's in a contest but it is a great read. Thank you.

Decently written little story that. If it's your first effort it is very good. You have picked a day to appear alongside some of the very best in literotica which probably and sadly means this won't stand out as well as it should. I liked it, thank you.

Thank you for a well-written and believable story. I liked it that Scott really was his son as well. Thank you for posting it.

Like the ending. The cheaters will die alone.

Smooth

Very Good 1st submission. thank you please continue to write. Angus has to have been one of biggest traitorous slime balls ever.

A pretty good story for your 1st effort. Keep writing. 4****

Seriously good for the first attempt!!

Very nice initial effort. 5 stars to encourage you to write some more.

Love this story.

Good story. One can only wish, to have kids as loyal and reasonable as Scott and Rhian.

Good story with some twists. Nice one. Thanks

Good first story!

What a horrible wife. How does a man go so long eating someone's cream pie and not notice it, though? I don't get that.

Great read. Character portrayal very consistent with trend throughout story. Fotst DNA report wrong? Scott and Angus kids acted like ( I hope). mine could. Thanks for sharing.

Congratulations on your first story…a 5* effort in my opinion.

Daft or deft? That was my QuickMagazine question, in that I was certain the DNA test had shown that Scott wasn't Darren's, only for it to turn out on page 3 that he wasn't Angus', he really was Darren's. So thinking that this was a major continuity error, I re-read page 1 - and lo and behold, found that Corny1974 was deft, not daft, after all! But you can understand my confusion - which goes to show that this rookie is one clever fellow. So it's a 5 star debut for him. Sure, this isn't exactly new LW territory. But as I've noted elsewhere, what is? The plot and attendant actions were spot on, and justice was done. Within reason, of course. Caz isn't burned to the ground, she has sustaining income, but she's frigid and alone. Serves her right. While Angus sits in Spain drinking, abandoned by most of his former family. Serves him right. While Darrren lands with a lovely new wife in Abigail, sharing the joys of a grand-daughter with Kate. The good people (including Scott and Rhian) wind up happy, the bad ones not so much. If that isn't a 5, then I don't know what is!

Nicely done. And nice twist at the end with Scott. Thanks.

Good first story. Glad that Scott turned out to be his son after all and it was simply seeing the packaging for the DNA test that got the cheating wife to confess. 5 stars

Great story

Very well written for your first story here. I thank you for not picking up all the bad habits other Literotica author use here. The hyper Punctuations and dot dot dots are so annoying. Very satisfying to read a good story. Will be following you with big hopes! 5 BIG ASS FUCKING FLAMING NOVA STARS! Thank you!

So amazing that women like this have no clue how terrible breaking trust really is. The seem to be able to compartmentalize in order to justify betrayal.. Caz earned what she received and then some. I think both she and Angus actually got off quite easily. Nicely done.

First rate story

Congratulations on publishing your first story! I look forward to reading what you post next.

4 stars for the twist with the DNA and a well written story.

That was a really good story, and I liked the twist with him actually being the father.

You also got the self-centred arrogance of a woman that commits paternity fraud just right. The amount of emotional damage it does to a betrayed husband... these evil bitches should do hard time.

I loved it. 5 stars!

A great explanation - she was trying to get pregnant... Over and over again. So many years. Probably, the situation would look more absurd if it turned out that she also secretly tied tubes.

Excellent first story!

First story is a gem so you've set the bar pretty high. I sure hope you have a flash drive full of others ready to go. Yeah, five star worthy!

Great work. Please keep this up.

DOL

Great first story! Opened with a third round knockout!

Good work.

Okay story but as I continue to say, they all end the same hubby comes out smelling like a rose with new hot wife and wife has nothing and alone with a cat. Never going to happen except in a fantasy.

Excellent first story!

Great first story! Hopefully there will be many many more! 5+

Nice, loved the gotcha moment with the phone app.

Great story!!! Well done!

Good first story!

5

But the same story from a different perspective. Not bad for the first time.

First effort gets you a "5"...

...VERY well done !

EastCoaster

How many marriages have been destroyed and infidelities exposed due to the genealogy sites?

Loved the twist that Caz confessed before the DNA results were actually known.

Very powerful and though it’s a well used precept you managed to make it your own , so well in fact that I was spellbound page after page . You have talent my friend and it shows ! Great first story- a 5 plus a standing ovation

Nice story. I was thinking that Rhian and Scott are half-siblings, so they should just go for it. But turns out they aren’t so problem solved.

Why do they so often cheat with a close friend or even a family member? Not only do they damage or destroy their own marriage, but destroy their husband's relationship with the other man.

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"He knew that you felt you were letting me down." - When did he ever say that?

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What is it with women that they think a fuck is a proper "Thank you" gift?

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If Angus is such a baby-maker, why doesn't he have more of his own? Snipped? I thought that Darren might be the father.

Good First Story!!!

Very good first story. Looking forward to your next offering.

Great 1st story. Keep it up … I really like the sense of right and wrong in your writing. Give us more. 5/5

Great fist story! Do keep writing.

The timetable seems to be WAY wrong! Hubby has his DNA ancestry done years before he provides Scott with one. Since Hubby has been getting notices as new distant relatives join the Ancestry DNA, it is fairly safe to imagine that Scott’s kit was that same group. But Scott does not live in his childhood home with his parents … Scott has his own flat … probably same or very close to Mom & ‘Dad/Darren.’ Darren mails the kit, but how the results get delivered to Mom is odd! Also curious is that Darren had no reason to include another sample of his own! And the DNA group has no reason to send anything about Scott’s biology to Darren some months later! How could Mom get the idea that her secret was compromised? If one accepts that Hubby is actually Dad, then that should have been clear immediately as Darren looks at the results….BEFORE Sweetie begins her ‘confession!

And several months seem to pass before Hubby shows his ‘Bestest’ friend. And how did Angus get different results?

3*. The concept was bitter-sweet, but it just looks flawed.

You are a good writer. I really enjoyed the plot...You have a good imagination and you are good at story telling. I see this is your first...I hope there will be more...

Great first story. Five stars

Goodness gracious. Hysterical and over the top. Overly dramatic; oh the angst. ! Caz was certainly wrong, but what a drama Queen the mc is. And a bore.

Saw it coming but still enjoyed it. Great story.

Wonderful first story. Thank you.

Really? For a first timer, this is really good. Caz was really written as a heartless, evil, selfish bitch and I fond it hard to believe that a son that loves his dad and the family life he had would continue a relationship with the person solely responsible for destroying that. Rhian's reaction is absolutely spot on. That's just the reaction a real person would have given the situation. That's the mark of greatness, being able to create realness in a fictional character. BRAVO!!!!!

Enjoyed reading this story again. I particularly liked reading the comments. I noticed a few readers could not understand why the MC would give Scott the DNA test after he did his own a few years before. The reason is simple- Scott would have his mother's side of the family now. His mother did not like the idea so she would not have submitted the sample herself.

I enjoyed that. You earned 4* for your first release. Would have been even better if he had actually let his ex-boyfriend know what he thought of him!

It was a tad predictable but still good, for a first story I would say a fantastic start. Most of the dialogue was believable, I think that is as important if not more than the plot. nice.

Excellent…really enjoyed it.

Great story. For your initial post, it’s better than great. I’ve seen the plot before, but never done better.

4 stars + 1 for your 1st story, congrats.

Masturbation daily does not a healthy prostate guarantee... trust me

In the UK you can still divorce on grounds of adultery and the adulterer will be penalised in the settlement. Though we do now have no fault divorces, you don't have to wait 2 years for irreconcilable differences.

So I surmise that Darren was a decent guy even in the face of all that betrayal, not something I could do.

Excellent 1st story thanks for sharing

You will therefor be subjected to a wide range of positive and negative comments, and you won't be able to strike back, comment-shame, or sic The Pack on someone who dares to express a counter LW culture opinion. I would say that takes courage, entering the public Forum and allowing all comers to show their brilliance or their ass. In this day and age we all need much more experience and practice discerning the brilliant from the asses; the asses appear to be running the asylum.

Which begs the question of why Darren was so completely deceived by his wife and his supposed best friend, for over 20 years? You gave us the answer in the beginning of your story: "She had a terrible temper and could be selfish, but she was perfect for me." Selfishness and temper tantrums, sounds like the character of a spoiled arrogant child. And that was perfect for him? And of course she knew that in her husband's head and heart she could do no wrong, so why not increase the possibility of getting what SHE wanted, even if it meant betraying her husband, her vows, his trust and faith in her? So you kind of set poor Darren up as a deaf dumb and blind fool. Hell, he couldn't even discern the treachery of his two best and closest friends, as they fucked occasionally for years, but were often socially together . . . without the slightest vibe of an awkward or inappropriate familiarity, camaraderie, puzzling level of comfort and closeness? Its not very surprising or dramatic when a fool gets fooled, so all the suspense and drama gets diluted by the ignorance and naivety. Darren got what he married, Caz was completely true to her self-centered values and ethics, so how can he complain that he was wronged? Perfection, in a spouse? He played a fool's game, and got a fool's prize.

And you portrayed that very very well. It was painful to read, but somebody has to occupy that end of the bell-shaped curve. Thanks for the effort.

Well done 👍

Bupid stitch

Good story! Keep writing!

Well told, and really well written. Nice to see English properly written for a change. Look forward to the next one!

Love the story but in my opinion you got carried away with the whole I hate my mother I want to beat up thing that was just ridiculous.

pig

Very good first story.

Nice twist with him being the bio dad. looking forward to your next one.

Good job

Great first story! Hope you have more.

Very well done. Just about the best I've read at illustrating the negation of the experiences of thr past that come with such a betrayal. All the experiences become a lie.

The writing was quite good…with character development moving along as the story progressed. The actual plot is quite familiar, but your execution is well above average. Thanks!

Reading again after reading today’ (Dec 13) new excellent submission.

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“I won't lie, it did get better. After all I'd trained him up to do everything I liked.”

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Soooo…..it was NOT just about getting pregnant then, was it Slut?

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A huge measure of poetic Justice meted out to the Slut when she learned about asshole’s vasectomy. And did she ever learn that Scott was NOT the spawn of asshole?

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5 *****

Well done on a good story and a great start as a writer on here. Like you I read a lot on Lit but am not brave enough to have a go! Thanks for the hard work.

The wife and Angus deserved to get burned really bad. The incredible betrayal for so long. He deserved a major beatdown. Zero remorse by either party. Too weak of a response.

Well done. Thank you very much.

A good, enjoyable story. 5*

So nice the way Karma works out. The cheating wife is so sure Angus is the father that when she sees the genetic testing kit in the garbage she confess's all to our MC. If she'd have kept her mouth shut she might have still been married to him. I loved near the end when our MC showed her the results of the DNA test and it showed he was the biological father of his son and not Angus. Great the twist and the gift that keeps on giving. 5 stars

What a muddled up story.

Harsh, hysterical, miserable narrator. Oh well, it’s his (bitter) drama-queen-like life. Yawn 🥱

I lied the story. It was a good betrayal story full of ironic twists and turns. The only thing I would have liked to see would be some remorse for Caz’s actions on her part. A small amount of character development would have made her realize her own character flaw and would have increased her self loathing.

Does not have to be a great story. It was fun to read although after awhile I knew what was coming next. *****

A nice story, like it a lot. AAAAA++++

Nice story

Another excellent story. I was beginning to feel a bit sorry for Caz until her full confession but never sorry for Angus who as the story advanced was just a selfish horrid turd.

I can imagine forgiving the creation of a child resulting from distressing long term problems, but albeit she was duped, a decade long affair made Caz just another cheater. I don't doubt she genuinely loved her husband but so what? I'll never know what my feelings would be if it happened to me but I can see forgiveness in some circumstances, so I think this paragraph would be how I'd feel.

She ended up as cheaters deserve, at least 90% of the time and 100% for long term affairs.

I'll say it again, please keep writing.

A decade, she got what she deserved. Can’t believe he didn’t put Angus in the hospital.

This sentence pulled me from the story, until I was able to figure out what you were saying:

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"I kept the house and Caz had two of the buy to let flats."

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"I kept the house and Caz had two of the buy-to-let flats." That's how it should be.

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It makes much more sense this way; the reader can breeze straight through without pause, knowing those 3 words (buy to let), should essentially be read as 1 word.

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The rule is: "When you use a compound adjective before the noun, you should hyphenate. For example:

1. There's off-street parking here

2. Chocolate-covered raisins

3. This is a family-owned business

4. Small-town charm

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It makes it so much easier to read. You're a good writer and I'm NOT singling you out. We see it everywhere and I'm hoping maybe some authors will take note. You write great stories. This is the second time I've read this one and I hope you keep writing... with or without the hyphen rules. LOL

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Thanks for posting. 5 stars.

I kind of hate it when I'm rooting for the obvious twist, but you got me there for this story. Well done.

2nd read: still a very good full complete story... Impressive, keep this up and you're another Author to follow!

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6******, Hooyah, Salutes....

Five stars.

It read like a very painful, very personal experience.

Well done.

Keep writing..

I have read all 3 of your stories and I am going to make a very rare comment (for me). I have enjoyed each and every one of them immensely. You certainly have a writing talent....God bless.

Great tale, second read. Yup, we did know exactly where it was headed, but we still enjoyed the ride. Keep it up.