Therapy yes no Maybe

Arriving back at the complex, I decided on digging around and seeing what I could find. It seemed everybody but the kitchen staff and cleaners were in the session. I peeked in the window to see Maria and Evelyn leading some sort of group therapy.

It was the kitchen staff I was interested in. There had to be a phone in there somewhere. All the other offices and buildings were locked, if I could just sneak in and grab a phone.

There was no way in, there was always somebody coming or going. Defeated I wandered back to my room. Stretching out I let sleep overtake me. I suppose it was the after affects of the sedatives, combined with a poor nights sleep, I crashed, slipping into the dark realms of sleep.

I jumped, startled and wide awake. The feeling of somebody's hand on my forehead woke me instantly. Sitting on the side of the bed was Evelyn. Her hand softly caressing my face. I think she jumped as much as me. We sat staring at each other.

"Ashley my love, this just won't do. You have to attend the sessions, or we can't help you."

"Evelyn, I am not interested. You can keep me prisoner here, but you cannot make me do anything. Not while I'm awake anyway."

"Ashley, you are here, you cannot return until the session is complete. You may as well join in. What possible harm could there be in joining in. Over a thousand couples have been through this course, and every single one of them has reconciled. They are all living in wonderful loving relationships. You could be the same."

Her hand rubbed my shoulders comfortingly. "My dear, in speaking to your mother, I saw that your relationship with Kent was a wonderful caring, loving marriage. You were always happy in it. You were getting ready too start a family. Don't you want to go back to that?"

"No Evelyn, I don't. Sometimes, you can't go back. I have already decided. I am moving on with my life. I have a new partner, I am in love."

She snorted derisively. "That's not true Ashley my love. I spoke to your mother, she said you haven't dated since your separation. She said you were sad and alone. You pined for a return to your marriage."

"My mother, doesn't know everything about my life. Some things I keep to myself."

"You are being silly my love. You are just saying that to hide from your true feelings. It's nearly dinner time. Come down and eat with us all. Talk to the others. Learn from their experiences."

She got up and walked to the door. "Dinner is in half an hour. There is a happy hour first, everybody is there enjoying a drink. Come down and join in."

I wandered down and yes they were all there in the restaurant hall. Large groups of attendees. I elected not to have a drink, I didn't trust what would be in it. I accepted only sealed bottled water.

Walking in was much like the morning, the conversation suddenly hushed and everybody stared at me. Kent stood with a group of men talking. His eyes fixed on me, I felt his gaze follow me everywhere. It creeped me out feeling spied on.

I again sat in a corner by myself, I watched the interactions and even eavesdropped on a couple of conversations. They were all so positive, everybody seemed entranced. As I sat drinking my water Maria came and sat with me. "Are you feeling better now? We missed you at the sessions today. We can make it up tomorrow though."

"Not with me you won't."

"Ashley please reconsider. Don't squander this opportunity."

I leaned closer, my mouth drawn back in a vicious snarl. "I am being held prisoner against my will. I am being tormented by a man who is under court instruction to stay more than five hundred metres away from me. He is breaking those conditions right here. Don't you understand, he is going to jail, and so are you. In fact, you are probably more liable than him. You are in charge."

Her face dropped and she gritted her teeth. "You need to stop talking like that. It is not helping. Go and talk to the other couples, let them give you confidence. Look around you Ashley, do you see worried anxious expressions? No you don't, they are committed to rebuilding their marriages."

I shrugged. "Good luck to them. I wish them well."

We were interrupted by the dinner bell. I stood up quickly. "Excuse me, I think I will get something to eat."

A cue had already formed and I fell in with them. A rather chatty woman turned to me. "Hello, I'm Nadia." Her hand reached out and we shook hands. She smiled and I could see she wanted to talk. "You seem very tense, was your separation difficult?"

"Yes, you could say that. He had an ongoing affair with my best friend."

She frowned. "Oh dear, I'm so sorry. That sounds terrible."

"Why are you here?" I asked.

She grimaced. "I did a terrible thing, I cheated on Glenn, my husband. But, we're here and trying to repair the damage."

I sneered. "Well, good luck with that."

She picked up on my disinterest. "We are trying to be positive, to work on the good things. Glenn has been amazing. Why aren't you joining in. Kent seems so distraught, he seems so enthusiastic, and prepared to give it a go."

"That's because he's a cheating arsehole. Why wouldn't he want to fix his own shit."

Nadia quickly turned away.

Collecting my food I wanted to find a table by myself, but it seemed the tables had all been arranged so there were people seated at all the tables. I decided immediately to take my food out to the outside area away from all the others. I found a table by the tennis courts.

Evelyn walked out. "Ashley my dear. It is very rude to turn your back on the other guests. Please come back inside, it's a chance for you to get a feel for the group. See and hear about their issues. Some of the group are in a similar position to you."

"No thanks, I hate cheaters. The thought of listening to them try and justify their actions disgusts me."

"You are being very judgemental."

"Perhaps I am, but, it is a free country."

"Ashley, please come inside and join in. I implore you."

When she saw she was wasting her time she got up and left.

I went back in to pick up some bottles of water. Walking out through the main lobby, I found a small library. Most of the books were rubbish, self help garbage, but there were a couple of good novels amongst the dross. Choosing one of the better ones, I headed back to my room.

It must have been about eight when Evelyn walked in, this time she was accompanied by Kent. He gave me a warm if nervous smile. "Hello Ashley."

I had been laying on the bed reading. I sat bolt upright, "What are you doing here Kent, you know you're not allowed near me."

Evelyn jumped in before he could speak. "Ashley, this is actually Kent's room as well. They are couples rooms."

"We are not a couple."

Kent muttered. "We are still legally married Ash."

"Not for much longer thankfully."

I turned my attention back to Evelyn. "You realise you are assisting somebody in breaking the law. I have told you, there is a legal protection order preventing him from being around, or contacting me."

"Ashley my dear, this isn't helping. I had hoped that if we could just sit together and talk. We might find a way to get past this animosity."

I was sick of listening to her, sick of hearing the same thing over and over. Was this how they broke down attendees resistance? I screamed, I yelled louder than I have ever yelled in my life. With my voice screeching I shrieked. "Help, please somebody save me, help. My life is in danger. Help me, please."

Evelyn was shocked, Kent jumped on top of me and tried to put his hand over my mouth to shut me up. I bit his hand, digging my teeth into the fleshy part of his palm. "Help me, please help me. He is hurting me."

I heard the people milling around outside my room. Kent sat up letting me go as he wrung his hand. I got some satisfaction in seeing blood.

Evelyn stood up and moved away. "Kent, I think we should leave her tonight. Hopefully by the morning she will have calmed down."

They left and I listened to them as they tried to placate the people milling around outside.

They left and I regathered my senses. I walked outside as Evelyn tried to get them to move away. "They drugged me you know." I yelled loudly, stopping everybody. "Anybody who just accepts this is aiding in a kidnapping. I am begging you, help me get away from these dangerous people."

The crowd stood rooted to the spot, nobody knowing what to do. In hysterics I screamed again. "Aren't you listening to me. I have been kidnapped. These people are evil."

When nobody stepped forward I shrieked. "You're all going to jail. Do you understand, you're all breaking the law by doing nothing."

Disgusted by their lack of caring I walked back inside and slammed the door behind me.

Frustrated and worried. I burst into tears and cried myself to sleep. I was worried, because, they surely wouldn't let me go. Once I was released I was going to the police.

The next morning was a repeat of the day before. I went in for breakfast. Evelyn brought Kent to my table, the moment they approached I screamed again, loudly. My voice echoed around the room. Everything stopped and I jumped up. "Don't you people understand, I am being kidnapped. My life is in danger."

The glares around the room were nervous, disquiet was evident in their faces. Evelyn tried to get me to shut up, but I screamed again, an ear splitting shriek befitting a person in extreme danger.

Maria came running. "Ashley, would you like a sedative?"

"They're trying to drug me again. Help me please, I want to leave, I need to get home to my family. I need to let people know I am still alive."

Evelyn took control and shovelled me outside. "Ashley, you're creating a scene. You are in no danger. We are trying to help you."

"If that's true then give me my phone, and let me out of this hell hole."

"Goodness me, hell hole indeed. This is a four star facility. People are cued up to attend our wellness sessions."

I walked away, straight back to my room. God I wished I could lock the damn door.

Nobody came to see me, at lunch time I went back to the restaurant. Evelyn did try. She came and sat with me. "Ashley, this isn't working is it. You are wasting a golden opportunity. Look at poor Kent. He is devastated. He wants to rescue your marriage. He loves you so much."

"Evelyn, he is looking so grim, because he now knows he's going to jail. He is rightfully frightened. As should you all be." I spoke loudly enough so everybody heard.

Evelyn flinched. I think my anger was making her think the same thing. I focused on eating my lunch before rushing out.

Dinner was a repeat, except this time I again tried to scare somebody into helping. I broke down in a hysterical crying tantrum, begging for help.

The next morning, I got my food and found my usual table. I sat alone until a man appeared beside me. "Do you mind, if I sit with you?"

I shrugged and he sat down across the table. "Hi, I'm Glenn, you met my wife Nadia yesterday."

I nodded, taking a quick glance at Nadia I saw her staring anxiously at us. "Ashley, you seem incredibly upset, can I help?"

"Not unless you can get me off this hell hole. Haven't you been listening. I was drugged and abducted. God knows what they have planned for me."

He whispered softly. "Evelyn said, they had to sedate you to get you here. They want to help you and Kent rebuild your marriage."

"Glenn, I have no marriage. We are separated, the divorce will be final in a few months. The reason I didn't want to come here was because of their methods. They are brainwashing you."

He nodded. "Yeah, I think you're right. Meet me at lunchtime. I will give you my phone."

I couldn't hold back my shock. "Really, oh god thank you so much. I will tell the police you were the one who helped me."

"Thanks."

With a feeling of hope settling over me I asked. "What happened to you? Why are you here?"

He cringed. "I caught Nadia out. She was cheating on me with a bloke she worked with. I walked out, but she convinced me, against my better judgement to come here and try this."

"And? How's that working out for you?"

"Badly, I hate it. Seeing you hasn't helped. Maybe if it wasn't for you, maybe I might have bought into it. Now I think I see it for what it is. Everything is aimed at forgiving the cheating. They treat it like it was nothing. I want to get out as well. I've had enough."

After we finished I headed back to my room. With a light feeling of hope, I took stock of why I was in this position.

As I walked back to my room, I contemplated the reasons for this. I caught Kent and my best friend Faith having sex in our bed. It was a shock. Kent and I both work, on that fateful day. I came home from work at lunchtime, feeling unwell. I was shocked to find his car parked in the driveway, but not as shocked as I was when I walked into the bedroom to find him fucking her.

They were naked, panting and moaning passionately as they consummated their lust.

I remember it as clearly as it was happening right now. I screamed, "What the hell!"

They both jumped in shock, both fumbling for sheets to cover themselves. He of course started trying to quell my anger.

Faith who cried out over and over. "Sorry Ash, I'm so sorry."

I couldn't stop crying, the tears flowed, like water. I couldn't believe it. Kent jumped out of bed naked to wrap his arms around me. "Babe, I'm sorry, I don't know what to say."

"Slapping his arms away like an out of control helicopter, I started shrieking. "Get out, get out both of you. Get out now."

Faith to her credit didn't even wait to get dressed, she ran. Kent stood in front of me. "Ash, it meant nothing. It was just sex."

"It meant something to me arsehole, now get out, get out." I couldn't believe how loud my voice was. He collected his clothes and sighed. "We'll talk about this later, once you've had a chance to calm down."

I just stared at him, my face a cold contemptuous mask. "Don't you dare come back to this house. Just stay the hell away. The next time I see you, I hope I'm holding a knife."

He pulled on his clothes and disappeared. I heard his car start and reverse out the drive.

I wanted to lie down, my stomach twisted nastily, I was already feeling lousy. Now I felt worse, and I couldn't even lie down in my own bed.

I walked into the spare room and curled up in a tight ball and cried. Never in my life, not even when my pet cat died, had I ever cried like that. My whole life had just dissolved.

Much later I called my mother and she came straight over. She found me still coiled up in the spare room. She embraced me tightly, her arms soft and loving. Her soft words somehow made it better as I explained what happened.

Like a mother would. She made us both a cup of tea. As I drank mine she got up and stripped the linen from our bedroom and took it straight out to the trash. She didn't even wash it.

She came back via the kitchen after making us some cheese and crackers. "You will have to eat pumpkin."

She made more tea, passed me some pain killers, and asked. "So what happens next? Do you know how long they've been having this bloody affair?"

"I don't know mum. I just don't know. He's not coming in here. He can find somewhere else to live."

"Honey, I know you're angry, but it's his house as well. You brought it together."

"I don't care, he is not coming in here. If he does, I'll... I'll."

"You'll what darling. Let's be sensible. You can't stop him. Unless he has physically harmed you. You can't stop him."

"If he crosses that doorstep, I'll call the Police and say he beat me up."

"Oh honey, you wouldn't do that. You know better than that. You're angry, I understand. But you need to talk to him."

"Like hell I do. I don't care if that was the first time. I just want him gone. Once is too many."

"Pumpkin, I'm not defending him. I am playing devils advocate. He has legal rights."

"I don't care Mum. I just don't care."

She hugged me again before going in and making the bed. "It's all going to be okay pumpkin. You can sleep in your own bed tonight."

Shaking my head I muttered. "I will never sleep in that bed again. I would rather burn it."

That brought about another hug. "Let's go and get something to eat."

As we stood side by side, in the kitchen getting some food. I heard Kent's car pull up. "Mum, please. Tell him to go before he gets inside. If he walks in here right now, I don't know what will happen."

She didn't look happy, but quickly walked outside, pulling the door shut behind her. I heard them talking as I watched a very animated conversation out by his car. They both started yelling. Mum waving her finger at him like the enraged parent she was. I saw the neighbours gathering, listening. Kent seeing the crowd wilted and leaned back against his car.

I could see he was crying, and I watched as Mum walked up and pulled him into her arms. She rubbed his back as they embraced. He nodded his head, got in his car and drove away.

When she got back inside I asked. "What did he say?"

"He said, he will give you a few days to calm down, before he returns. Pumpkin, he wants to talk to you. He wants to say sorry. He said it was a huge mistake."

"It was a mistake all right. Slimy bastard. My best friend Mum, she was my best friend."

I fell back into her arms and we rocked to and fro as she held me tight. "Honey, he did a terrible thing, but he loves you, and I know you love him. I know you do, because you have told me a million times."

"So you think I should just forgive him?"

"Oh hell no. He needs to suffer. He needs to make amends, but he does love you. Never lose sight of that. God knows what he was thinking, but I think you do need to give him a chance to explain."

After we ate dinner, Mum left, and I went to bed. The morning came slowly. I rang in sick for work. I certainly didn't feel up to that. I walked around the house. Bloody hell, we had only brought it like eight months ago. We still had boxes we hadn't unpacked.

I sat down at the table and started going over my financial position. I couldn't afford the mortgage on my own. I realised now how silly it was to buy a house right at the top of our price range. I did love the house. The moment we walked in, it felt like our forever home. Kent wasn't so sure, it was only after I pleaded with him he relented and we brought it.

Looking back over our four year marriage. I felt a cold shiver run up my back. Our wedding day had been such a joyous occasion. Faith, my maid of honour had worked so hard to make it a special day.

Why, why did she do it? She was a beautiful woman, she could have any guy she wanted. Why steal mine?

Things started to fall into place. I knew I couldn't stay here. After seeing them in bed together. The fond memories, were now dead and buried. All I wanted was out.

I started ringing real estate agents. It took all day but I found an apartment that I could afford. I made arrangements to see it the next day.

Mum walked in while I was packing boxes. "Oh my god, what are you doing?"

Standing up I replied. "I'm leaving. I have found a place I can afford. I am going to see it tomorrow. If I like it. I can move right in. Kent can have this disgusting dump."

Mum flopped on the sofa totally confused. I made some tea and sat beside her.

As we sipped she said. "Honey, Kent came around home last night. We had a talk."

"What, why did you do that?"

"Honey he rang, he was distraught. He knows he made a mistake."

Between sips of her piping hot tea she said. "I'll tell you what. He was lucky to get out alive. I thought your father was going to kill him. It got very heated."

I smiled, thinking. "Thank you daddy."

Mum continued. "I asked him how long this had been going on and he said a couple of months. He didn't set out to do it, or too hurt you. It was just one of those drunken stupid things that grew into an affair. Honey he apologised over and over. He said it would never happen again. He will do whatever you want."