There Must Be A Mistake Ch. 18

"Nurse Constance, I am naked."

"Not as naked as you're going to be in three minutes. Turnover onto your stomach please, and the games will begin."

"It sounds like you really enjoy your work."

"I surely do doctor. You should see me in leather on the weekends."

Jennifer laughed and evil laugh as I heard the electric shaver start. Nurse Constance was as good as her machine. She even pried open the crack of my ass to get the tiny hairs between them. I must admit I objected to this procedure. From ankle to shoulder took her no time at all. She smacked my rump and told me to turn over.

I knew I was in trouble because Jennifer had her hand over her mouth covering her laugh.

Nurse Constance's eyes were aglow. "Now for the fun part, Doctor Luck." She grabbed my left ankle and pulled it off the bed leaving me totally exposed. She went after my right leg as if I was a turkey and just she approached my balls, my hands went there to protect them.

She turned off her machine. "Doctor Luck if you do that one more time I will tie your hands to the bed."

That was it for Jennifer; she ran out of the room laughing.

I yelled, "TRAITOR!"

I grabbed onto the side rails as Nurse Constance proceeded to denude me of hair. Everything was done except for my dangling bits, and for that she put the huge lawnmower back into its case and took out the 'Death Ray.'

Constance put me at ease. "Don't worry about the smell Doctor Luck. It will not be your testicles burning, we think, it should only be the hair."

Before I could respond I could smell whatever was burning. It smelled like flesh. Once you smell burning flesh you never forget it.

"All finished, clean as a new born baby. You will have to stand up now Doctor so we can blow you."

Jennifer was beside me in a flash. "What did you say Constance?"

"We have to blow the hair off him with a blow dryer. What did you think I meant?"

You said, "You have to stand up now Doctor so we can blow you. I told you that piece of equipment was mine, and I meant it."

"Jennifer, we say that to all the patients. It's all in fun, it gets them to relax. It's not meant to get the spouses in a tizzy."

"I guess I overreacted."

"It's okay, do you want to blow him, with the dryer!"

"No, if I get too close to certain parts of him, I may not use the dryer. I'll just hold his hand instead."

At 6:30 AM the gurney arrived, and things went into high gear. The patches for the electrocardiogram were placed everywhere from my ankles to my neck and back. Three bags of solution were hung on the tree and the nurse put one IV needle into my hand and another into my arm. The solutions went into two different blue regulators, and as soon as everything started to flow properly we were off to Pre-op.

They didn't put me into a room. As Doctor Nu said on the first day, "I was a rock star, and I was getting the royal treatment."

The anesthesiologist came over to me and told me everything he was going to be doing over the next nine hours or more depending on how things went. He told me everyone had rehearsed this operation yesterday in anticipation of today's event. Everyone knew exactly what to do, and how it was to be done. Every eventuality has been thought of, and anticipated. Every senior hospital surgeon was on call just in case something unexpected went wrong. He assured me that I was in the best hands and in the best hospital in the world for this type of operation and I would come out of it fine. He would meet me in the operating room in 10 minutes, and would appreciate an invitation to the launching of my spacecraft in a few years.

I said, "Thank you Doctor, give my wife one of your cards, and you will get an invitation as soon as they're made out."

"Thanks Doctor Luck, I'll look forward to it."

Jennifer signed page after page of permission slips and after that was completed we started our journey to the operating theater. That's exactly what it was, a theater. Above me I could see rows and rows of people sitting in stadium style seating looking down at me. I could only assume they were students and/or other doctors who were going to watch this operation.

Jennifer was looking around also. She was frightened.

"Jen, they are only here to learn and to get better at their craft. It's the same way I taught Gray and Gordon. Concentrate on me, love me, and everything will come out fine."

"Even, how can you be so damn calm at a moment like this?"

"I have the love of my life standing beside me. I have everything in this world to live for; and the best team of doctors in the world prepared to take care of me. Why would I be nervous?"

"Even Luck, you are the craziest person I have ever met. I don't know how I would live without you."

"Don't worry your little head over it, because you're not going to have to live without me. I'm going to be beside you for a long time."

"Do you promise Even?"

"I won't leave you, until you are ready to let me go."

The doors opened, and nurses walked in, followed by doctors in their green garb, covered with plastic sheeting.

Doctor Bradley approached me and asked, "Are you ready for today Doctor?"

"You're here, I'm here, and I have nothing else on my schedule for today. I'd hate to disappoint the people in the viewing gallery by showing them a rerun of a previous surgery. So let me kiss my wife good night, and get this damn tumor out of me so I can get back to work."

"Mrs. Luck very few people enter this operation with this attitude. It's very refreshing to hear."

"Everyone tells me my husband is crazy Doctor. He is the sanest man you'll ever meet."

"George are you ready?"

"I'm ready Brad."

"Mrs. Luck, kiss your husband good night. You will see him tomorrow morning."

"Good night Even, I'm not letting you go."

"You can't, because I'm not going anywhere."

"Go ahead George."

I could feel Jennifer's lips on mine, and then a sudden burning sensation in my left hand. Then there was nothing, nothing at all. I could not feel anything. The pain in my hand was gone. Everything went black, as black as starless space.

I Did Not Dream. I was lost; Lost between Time and Space.

The End