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"Today's behavior was unjustifiable; tomorrow I will get my stuff from the storage and dress decently and behave decently again. All this slut façade is getting into my brain. It needs to end now. Well tomorrow, just one final stunt and I'll be free to be me again."
She slept for an hour and then took a shower and dressed in the less slutty clothes that she could find. A denim cut-offs shorts and a t-shirt, and Tina's flip flops. She then marched to her photo session.
PART 4.
The photo session.
Lillian checked once more the paper sheet with the address that Megan gave her. This was definitely the place. Lillian looked at the elegant glass building in front of her. She felt intimidated. She knew that Megan was an event organizer for a marketing firm, but she didn't know that her office was in the business district and that it would be so upscale. She had expected that Megan worked for a more informal firm, after all, she had been a porn model.
Lillian approached the building door for the third time, she felt so inadequately dressed to enter the building that she chickened out the first two times. The cutoffs denim shorts barely covered the curve of her ass, and the t-shirt left her navel uncovered, not to mention that it was tight enough to make obvious that she wasn't wearing a bra. And the flipflops completed a very trashy ensemble.
Contemplating her image on the glass door just feed her insecurity and hesitation. She bit her lower lip and looked around with apprehension. It was almost her appointment time, so she breathed deeply and reuniting all her courage, she entered the building.
The building lobby was really big; it was mostly empty space, but it was designed to impress the visitor thanks to the high ceiling and the expensive materials. The luxurious furniture was scarce, just the reception desk and several groups of sits scattered here and there. Some of them were occupied by neatly dressed young men and women. Almost every man was dressed in elegant suits, and most women were wearing blazers and slacks or modest skirts.
Lillian walked to the reception desk. The loud noise that her cheap flip flops made on the marble floor echoed along the big lobby drawing unwanted attention to herself. She was blushing and looking at the floor. She felt so small and self-conscious; everybody else looked so professional and she looked so trashy and so slutty. She wasn't even wearing underwear, and it was easily noted, especially because her hard nipples were poking through her sheer top. She was trying her best to reduce the noise of her steps but only managed to look more insecure and out of place. The security guard was eyeing her from afar, probably waiting for the best time to throw her out of the building.
When she reached the reception desk, she leaned on the desk and stood on her toes trying to get as closer to the receptionist as possible. She tried to talk but only managed to mumble something, her insecurity overwhelming her. The receptionist didn't understand her so she asked politely,
"How can I help you ma'am?"
Lillian should have fell reassured by the kind and respectful treatment but her mind was blocked, overwhelmed by a myriad of emotions, she pulled down her shorts trying to cover her ass better. The cut-offs were so short that barely covered her ass when she was standing normally but standing on her toes and leaning forward as she was, she felt that an inch or more of her ass was on display, increasing her shame; once again she babbled some incoherent words in an almost inaudible voice; she felt the stares of everybody in the large room. The security guard was slowly approaching her and she knew she must say something or the guard would guide her to the exit.
She was bright red and felt like a shy little girl. Normally she would be delighted to be in an office like that. She had always dreamed to have an office in the business district and often had pictured herself entering confidently in buildings not so different from this one, but now she felt simply afraid. She wanted to run to Megan's apartment or to Tina or even to her trashy cleaning girl job.
She controlled her urge to run away, but it seemed to take all of her will, and her voice escaped her. She tried to think but couldn't come with anything coherent to say. Fortunately, the kind receptionist came to her rescue.
"Oh, you must be Lilly. Megan told me you were coming. Don't worry, it is ok for a young high school girl like you to feel intimidated by this office setting. You will feel more comfortable once you are with Megan. You may sit over there, I will call her now."
Then she made a discrete gesture to the security guard who hadn't yet reached the reception desk, and he retired back to his place near the elevators.
Lillian remained sat, constantly fidgeting like a nervous little girl. She did not dare to take her sight from the floor. She didn't want the idea of crossing sights with anybody in the room. She felt so inferior and so stupid.
"They must think I am some kind of bimbo. I dress like a slut and show the intelligence of a rock." She thought shamefully.
She felt so out of place, and so scared; she realized that she would be more at ease in her crappy job or commuting in the subway or in Megan's apartment. She immediately regretted her thoughts and feelings, but they were very real.
It was just a few minutes after closing time, and to Lillian's embarrassment, a lot of people came out of the elevators. Many took a peek at her, most of them with surprise, but some also with lust or despise. She concentrated her sight on the floor even further. She could hear some giggles, that she didn't dare to verify if they were because of her. She had read the building directory and she knew that several firms shared the building, one of them sounded as a recruiting firm, and she felt scared that some college classmate could be an intern there.
"What if somebody sees me wearing this? What if somebody recognizes me later when I ask for a job?" she thought with anguish.
Still, if some classmates had seen this slutty girl, dressed as a daisy dukes wannabe, with her hair tied in a childish ponytail, they wouldn't easily identify her as the always smartly dressed and carefully made up Lillian.
Lillian felt relieved when she finally saw Megan, exiting one elevator. She had been humbly waiting for maybe 20 minutes.
Megan greeted her warmly and soon they were in the elevator traveling up to the 11th floor.
Lillian managed to calm herself during the elevator ride and was relieved to arrive at an empty office. Megan guided her through the cubicle maze to a meeting room. There were three neatly folded outfits over the meeting table. Megan handed her a bag with underwear.
"Lilly. Peter is getting the studio ready for the shoot. He will photograph you first for the publicity proof of concept. Please wear the jeans outfit first, not quite your style but I bet you will still look very good. Once you are dressed, knock on the next door, there is Johanna, she will do your makeup and hair."
Lillian looked at the outfit with great satisfaction. There were designer brand black jeans and a blue shirt that looked equally expensive and not so different in quality from the casual clothes that she had confined in the storage facility, she longed to put them on, her eyes shining with hope. She knew she will look casual and a bit juvenile but she will be a lot better dressed than any day in the last few weeks. Her thoughts were interrupted by Megan
"And Lilly... don't forget to put on the underwear."
Lillian blushed at the comment.
"Megan must think that I am a total slut. She hadn't seen the real me," she thought to reassure herself, although she wasn't so sure by then who was the real Lillian.
Half an hour later she was entering the photo studio. She felt more confident now. Johanna had done her makeup in a washed face style, just a light pink lipstick and a little bit of black mascara on her eyelashes. The lipstick color wouldn't have been her choice as it made her look like a young tease, but otherwise, she felt satisfied, especially with her hair. Johanna had made a great job styling her long red hair. It was a casual look but it looked wavy, almost like a shampoo commercial. All in all, she looked great, like a high school dream girl, she looked beautiful, innocent, but in spite of the modest attire, she emanated some kind of restrained sexiness.
"Hi," said Peter. "So you are Lilly, let me tell you that you look just great for the ads!"
Lillian blushed at the compliment. Peter was a forty-something white man. He wore khaki pants and an informal black t-shirt. His clothes looked casual but expensive. He was a photography artist and looked relaxed and a little bit hipster. He wore his hair in a ponytail in spite of his balding forehead and portrayed a three days beard. He was smiling and was carrying a professional camera.
Lillian felt nervous, he looked really respectable, like an art professor (which indeed he was), and she felt ashamed that in an hour or so, she will be posing nude for him and Megan. She tried to push aside the idea that he most probably had seen the shameful Powerpoint presentation that she made the previous day.
Megan had told Lillian that he once worked for the porno industry but he had successfully switched to marketing photography and thanks to him she got the job at the marketing firm in spite of her "artistic" past. Still, it was hard to believe, he was far away from the lecherous stereotype of the porno photographer that she had in her mind.
Peter sensed her nervousness and started making small talk, talking about the weather, music, and even sport teams, while softly reassuring Lillian with nice compliments. He was tactful and respectful and little by little Lillian started to relax and feel her self-confidence return. She hadn't felt this good and this level of respect since all this mess started. After all, she was for once neatly dressed and was being treated with respect by Peter.
Lillian was then escorted to the first set, it was just some patch of natural grass surrounded by two walls of green screen. Peter would replace the green screen with some landscape later.
"Ok. You may sit on the grass. Imagine that you are on the high school football field, near the bleaches and you are reading this biology textbook because you have a test the next morning."
Seeing Lillian's tension returning, Peter reassured her, "You can do this Lilly, just relax and forget about the camera, you only need to imagine that you are in some park studying for your next biology exam," them he thought
Lillian breathed, she had never imagined herself as a model. She always considered models as stupid girls that couldn't do a real job and a real drag for the feminism. But now she decided to try her best, partly because she wanted to get this over as soon as possible, and partly because suddenly it seemed too important to her to get Peter's approval and to really satisfy Peter's expectations.
While she was reflexing, Peter was thinking,
"Maybe remembering school could be painful for a dropout,"
So he said. "Lilly, just imagine that you are the best student there, everybody looks up to you and you are both admired and envied."
That completed the spell for Lillian. She quickly remembered her very successful high school and her self-confidence seemed to be growing by the minute.
Peter started shooting at random from several angles. In the beginning, Lillian constantly turned to see him, but little by little she immersed herself completely in the activity and the make-believe. She felt very happy; she even tried to learn something from the book but it seemed that her attention span was really short these days.
Peter captured her concentrated look, alternated with her constant distractions. Her face and gestures were very important for the shooting. The motto of the campaign that he had planned for the makeup for teenagers was "Emotions," he wanted to say that this makeup didn't hide the personality of the young girls behind a heavy mascara, instead, it only remarked their natural beauty while letting their vivid emotions shine thru. His plan was to capture Lillian's emotions in real teenager's situations and then contrast her photos with mannequins wearing heavy makeup and portrayed in the same situations. The mannequins, of course, will look all the same one from each other and from one situation to another.
Peter was delighted, Lillian could be a dropout but she seemed to be a good actress because in spite of her distractions she seemed genuinely interested in the textbook.
"Ok," Peter thought, "Enough of that emotion, let's go for another one," and then he said,
"Very good Lilly, Now I need you to imagine that I am a boy that you have a crush on. Look at me"
Lilly turned to see him, but with his incipient baldness and his slight beer belly, the photographer wasn't really her type. So her sight didn't show much emotion.
That didn't go unnoticed by Peter who tried to get more expression from Lillian,
"Come on Lilly, use your imagination."
Then Megan, who had been taking photos from other angles, intervened for the first time, "Lilly, Just think about the last guy that you made love with."
Megan was probably thinking of Mr. Palmer, but Lillian's mind traveled to the subway station earlier that day, images of herself shamelessly sucking Tony's cock invaded her mind making her feel both ashamed and aroused. She looked at Peter, blushed slightly and cast her eyes down in a way that Peter camera expertly captured as the shy flirtation of an infatuated girl.
"Perfect," he said.
She then was sent to change into the next outfit. She put the short pleated skirt, the white blouse, and the comfort black shoes. The whole outfit was made to remind the classical school girl uniform but was not so obviously close to the stereotype. It could pass as something an authentic high school girl could wear to school. For example, she wasn't wearing any socks, the skirt was of a solid dark blue color and wasn't really that short, it got around mid tight, and the shoes were black but were not so dorky and got a couple of inches heals.
Lillian looked at the mirror as Johanna refreshed her makeup. She knew she would have never dressed like this to go to school, still, she felt not so uncomfortable in those clothes. There was still a vast improvement from the clothes that she wore at her arrival. She admitted she felt satisfaction by finally looking sexy without looking cheap.
She returned to the studio. This time the green panels and the grass matt had been removed and in the place was arranged to simulate a classroom. There were a few student desks, a teacher desk, and even a blackboard.
The room really reminded Lillian of her own classrooms back in high school.
"OK. Lillian, you look great again. Now stand next to the blackboard and copy this math problem from the textbook."
Lillian complied and Peter captured her confident, successful look. She was feeling quite good, and she even left the book aside and started solving the problem, she wanted to impress Peter and change his opinion about her, so he could see that she wasn't the stupid dropout that Megan had told him. But before she could finish, Peter interrupted her and said, "Very good Lillian, I have enough of that scene, now go to the teacher's desk and grab the paper on top, imagine that it is your last biology exam, go for it and then return to your desk. Imagine the rest of the desks are full with your classmates. Imagine yourself anxious to know how you did."
Lillian marched to the teacher's desk, she returned her mind to her high school days and imagined her march to the teacher's desk to pick her exam. She knew she had done well, she only needed to know if she was perfect or not. Still, she felt apprehension just by that. She picked the exam and saw with satisfaction that it was an A+, with a handwritten note "Excellent!" on top. She felt a wave of pride as she was living it all again. She flashed a proud smile and looked around as if she was letting her classmates know how well she went. She carried her "exam" carelessly as she did so many times in high school, trying that somebody noticed the grade and the teacher's note without showing it openly. She put the exam on her desk and reviewed it for a while, mostly to let her neighboring students see it, before storing it under the desk.
When she finished her little act, Peter exclaimed excited, "Wow, what a great performance! We are almost done."
Then Peter directed Lillian to portray the scene in the blackboard and the picking of the exam, this time thinking it was a failure. Unfortunately this time she couldn't get motivation from her own experiences and the acting was becoming fake. Peter was giving constant advice, but he was getting desperate. The photo shooting had been so smooth until then, and he needed the contrasts for this publicity sample to work.
Before things could get out of hand, Megan said, "You are doing great Lilly, we are almost over, wait for us here. Peter and I need to discuss something for a minute."
A puzzled Peter followed Megan to the next room, he didn't know what she had in mind but any help would be welcomed.
A few minutes later Megan and Peter returned. Megan walked to the blackboard and erased the solution to the problem that Lillian had started to write on the blackboard. She also replaced the fake exam with a "C" grade that Lillian was failing to act on.
Then she said, "OK Lilly, hand me your skirt and your panties!."
The phrase left Lillian speechless. She didn't expect it so soon. She wasn't ready for the porno photo session yet, especially not after dressing and behaving like her old... "real" self for the last hour or so. She had indeed put the idea of the nude photos out of her mind during the entire session, negating the reality that she was there for them and not really for this decent modeling job. She started babbling something, then she reunited her composure and said, "Are we already over with the publicity test session?"
Megan didn't answer, she simply extended her hand, "I am waiting, slut,"
Lillian blushed, ashamed that Megan called her that way in front of Peter. For a moment she tried to stand against Megan and regain some self-respect but she knew she needed the studio photos. Blushing she lowered the zipper of the skirt and then took it off along with her panties. Megan tossed the clothes aside and then said.
"OK. Lilly, You have three minutes to solve the problem on the blackboard, otherwise, the photo session is over."
"But why?" said Lillian that was all confused by this and still felt very ashamed to be half-naked in front of the respectable Peter.
"Your time is ticking," was Megan's only response. She was intently looking at her watch.
Lillian walked the blackboard, she felt very nervous and self-conscious of her bare ass and bald pussy on display. She tried to solve the problem, a few minutes ago she had thought it was an easy one, just basic algebra, but now her mind was blocked by the adrenalin. Images of herself being in a real classroom dressed as she was flooded her mind. She was becoming aroused, and her nervousness increased as she realized that she was losing precious time immersing herself in stupid sexual fantasies.
She started writing, but then she erased her attempt of a solution and restarted again, blushing at her own incompetence. She didn't know what to do, her mouth was partially opened, cutely reflecting her feelings of perplexity, and then Megan added to her nervousness saying, "1 minute left."
Lilly was in panic mode, she needed to solve the problem otherwise, she probably won't get the photo session. She bit her lower lip, and started dividing and multiplying numbers at random trying to find the answer by proof and error, all the while fantasies of herself half-naked in a real classroom, and being mocked by her classmates for her state of undress and her clumsiness invaded her mind, breaking her concentration, arousing her and further clouding her math abilities.
