Thin Line Between

I went to my first classes with an optimistic attitude, hoping for the best, enjoying the new chapter of my life, not bothered by the past.

As I sat down in the corner, I heard light footsteps coming my way. Somebody sat next to me, and I felt a familiar, sweet scent. So intoxicating... I literally trembled.

I jerked my head up, and my eyes met a pair of hazel eyes peeking from behind glasses. She was dressed very modestly, in a dark jacket, a brown scarf around her neck, a long, dark brown skirt. Her hair was tied in a simple ponytail, and it seemed longer than before.

"R...Rain?" I stuttered in shock.

"Hi, Braxton. I can see you are surprised to see me." Her smile was a bit rueful.

"Yyyy.... More than surprised. I actually thought... I would never see you again." My tone was more official than I would have wished.

She blinked and swallowed, eyeing me. "Was that something you wished?"

"No, Rain. But I came to the conclusion that what we had was not... healthy. We really didn't know each other. And it all had very... real consequences. The thin line was crossed beyond our control. Almost tragically. It was a life lesson for me."

She stared at me for a while, her lips trembling a bit, while other students were slowly gathering in the lecture hall.

"It was a life lesson for me too, believe me, Braxton. And it cured me of these stupid fantasies. They are not even exciting anymore, just terrifying. When something like that really happened, all I felt was horror and shock. Nothing more. No sexual arousal at all. Fantasies... are not reality. Reality is not an arranged, planned, safe scenario. That's the truth. Rape is a terrible thing, not to be taken lightly."

I didn't know what to say. Well, she certainly felt sexual excitement with me then, but I didn't mention it, as the rest of what she said was basically true. The reality hit her too, and most likely made her reevaluate her sexual fantasies. Which was probably for the best, regarding her safety in the future.

"I'm sorry... that happened to you. I felt guilty for being a part of it in a way..." I murmured, avoiding her gaze.

But her small hand found mine, and she squeezed my fingers.

"Braxton, you were the brightest part of it. The only one worth remembering..."

For some reason, her touch was so... well. I was taken aback for a few seconds, having trouble with taking a deeper breath.

I glanced at her, stunned by her words. She smiled softly.

"Thanks... But what... are you doing here, Rain? You attend another college, from what I remember."

"Then your memory is not up-to-date, as I changed my college already a couple of months ago because they offer more courses that I wanted to participate in."

"Seriously? I didn't know." I felt stupid, and to be honest, confused.

"I'm majoring in Applied Mathematics, just like you, but I have a minor in Software Engineering while you have one in Data Science, am I correct?"

I stared at her dumbfounded. She sighed.

"Are you angry? Uncomfortable that I'm here?"

I could see a hint of fear on her face. Her pretty, pink lips trembled.

"No," I lied, as I surely felt uncomfortable. I couldn't wrap my head around her being here. What did she want? I thought we were done. I had a surge of confusion mixed with some strange joy, but diminished by one thought!

I had to ask...

"Is your mom aware I'm here?"

She sighed. "She doesn't matter, Braxton. I know you were hurt by her terribly and unfairly. Alicia and Leona told me what she said, how she treated you. I... was in shock. Will you forgive me?"

I closed my eyes. "Rain, it's not you who treated me like that. You don't have to apologize..."

"She reacted so strongly as she was... angry that... we slept together. It was her main problem, I guess. She just couldn't let it go. Please, can you forget about her? She is irrelevant. I... would want us to be friends, as you'd suggested in your letter. Nothing more. Is there a chance for it?"

I could see how much that meant to her. She stared at me with her lips trembling, and I remembered how they tasted when I kissed her. The memory was still so vivid...

My dick probably responded instead of me.

"Okay, friends then," I replied and forced an awkward smile.

The professor went into the lecture hall, and we were unable to continue the conversation. After the lecture, she invited me to the student cafeteria, and we discussed the courses we had decided to take. She took a lot of the same courses as I did...

During the first days of our college experience, I felt a bit weird and kept my distance. To be honest, we didn't know each other, Rain and I. We were never friends before. We barely spoke in high school.

So, it was interesting how she was... almost like any newly met student. We talked about various topics, avoiding, of course, the situation that brought us together in the past. We just talked, like normal college acquaintances.

For some reason, I decided to take the slow path with Rain this time. If we were to have any future together, we should get to know each other.

For the next two weeks, we met during lectures and labs and treated each other as just casual friends. She didn't ask for anything more, nor did she suggest that she wanted more than just a regular friendship. I was glad it was like that. I was so confused and unsure that it was probably for the best.

What quickly brought us closer together was our shared interest in mathematics and a sincere passion for learning and delving into the subject. We spent many hours quizzing each other and working on mathematical problems. Those were... pleasant moments, I have to admit.

We got to know each other gradually during the first weeks of the college semester.

Since we were the only people here who knew each other from before, we spent a LOT of time together. My only separate activity was going to the gym, as Rain hated working out. The only activities she liked were long walks and occasional swimming.

Even as we got to know new people, they became our "common" friends. We didn't have separate groups of colleagues. We went everywhere together - I even carried books for her. We had lunches and breakfasts together.

We studied together and helped each other with assignments. Soon, other students, as I suspected, started to regard us as a couple anyway.

It was weird, very weird, but neither of us denied it.

One time, while we were in the cafeteria, another student joined us. We were discussing a pop quiz when suddenly a girl named Jenny asked, "I heard you're good at chess, Rain. We have a chess club here, did you know?"

"I heard about it, yes," Rain murmured, lowering herself over her tray.

"Are you planning on joining them?" Jenny narrowed her eyes.

"I will see, but... I'm not that interested."

The girl smiled and added with a wink, "You don't want to be separated from your boyfriend even for two hours?"

Rain stiffened slightly. Jenny probably didn't notice, but I knew Rain well enough to see it.

"Kind of," she murmured.

What? I blinked in shock, but decided not to say anything. I knew it would be awkward if I denied it after she basically confirmed we were together. I didn't want her to feel embarrassed.

As we were heading to our dorms (hers was just next to mine, but we spent most of our time in my room anyway - studying, playing games, and watching movies together), there was a weird silence between us.

"Do you want to watch some movies today? I'm a bit too tired to play," I finally asked her, and she nodded.

So, we went to my room, and I played some superhero movie. We were always sitting on the bed together but separated by a pile of pillows. It was just like that, from the first day she came to my room to watch movies with me, almost two months before already.

We had this silent agreement, I guess. No touching, no discussing sex, no alluding to sexual topics. We were behaving as strictly friends, keeping it very consistent.

As the movie started, I just could not focus. My mind was full of swirling thoughts. Why did she not deny we were together? Why did she present it as if we were dating? I glanced at her profile. She was sitting curled up, biting her pink lips, looking a bit nervous. Finally, I could not focus anymore. So I stopped the movie abruptly, and the silence crept up on us.

"Okay, let's have it. Are we, Rain? Boyfriend and girlfriend? Why did you say this?" I snapped out.

She closed her eyes and sighed quietly. "I'm sorry, Braxton. I shouldn't have said that. I was just... kinda jealous. Jenny has been checking you out for a while now, I caught her doing that a couple of times on that..."

Rolling my eyes, I snorted. "I'm not interested in her, Rain," I murmured, staring at the wall.

"Why? She's pretty."

I rolled my eyes AGAIN. "Well, how to say it tactfully? There's probably no other way to put it. She most likely has too small of a clit to get me interested..."

Rain's cheeks went fiery red, and when I say fiery, I mean it.

Even her forehead was crimson!

The silence continued for a while, and I could feel how on edge she was. "So... Are you interested in someone else?" she asked cautiously. "Someone with a much bigger clit?"

I snorted impatiently and rolled my eyes. "You may say that. But I really don't know how to proceed. We started kinda weird, and I just can't... find a way to go beyond that."

I kept staring at the wall, but soon I was forced to glance at her and... with some shock, I discovered she had tears on her cheeks!

She obviously knew who was I referring too.

"Does it mean... there is no chance for us anymore?" she asked in a shaky voice.

Wow. Really? I felt stupid. I had no idea what to do now...

"I didn't say that. I'm just lost, Rain."

"I'm also lost..." she whispered.

"This whole situation was so... scary and intense that it made me question what I did to you in the first place. Did I cross the thin line? I feel disgusted by my actions. Ashamed, that I enjoyed it. And you also said you are cured of these, and I quote: 'stupid fantasies,' so I'm not sure how to proceed... I'm afraid I'm forever tainted for you, associated with the trauma..."

Rain jumped at me and grabbed my hand, squeezing it hard.

"No, Braxton! You got it all wrong! You saved me, all you gave me before was my dream come true. You balanced on that thin line perfectly! IT was my REAL dream, don't you see? Not what I unfortunately had to experience. Not the real brutalization. I wanted a playful game, nothing more... I'm much more vanilla than I ever suspected, and I loved... I loved what we had. I was so excited, waiting for you to show up and snatch me... But I want to be safe! Perfect, safe scenario. I wanted to be treated gently, I wanted to... orgasm. And you gave me all that..."

I stared at her, not sure how to respond.

"I have to ask. Do you blame me for... answering him? He found my IP, and one thing led to another... he found you. It was my stupidity..."

Rain chuckled and shook her head.

"Braxton! I blame no one but myself. Without you, I would unblock my DM's the first day and talk to him anyway! And I would be lost. Really raped and beaten! Maybe dead! But you distracted me and I lost interest in this forum. And to be honest... it was me who was stupid and wrote that naive post in a dangerous forum infested with hackers! I was putting myself in a dangerous situation! I was pushing the thin line. You were actually my savior... You pulled me out of it!"

I fell silent, pondering her words. I never thought she could see it that way. I was somehow convinced that she blamed me for it, even unconsciously. I suspected that she might share her mother's attitude and that was why I distanced myself from her in the first place... And I was wrong. She didn't resent me, and she actually liked it...

Wow.

Our eyes met.

"What would... you wish for us?" I asked, a bit shocked by what I heard, but it made me happy and weirdly lightheaded.

Rain closed her eyes for a second. "I miss... your touch, Braxton... I felt special, the way you seemed to genuinely love my body... I never suspected I could find a person who would like me as I am... I thought everyone would be ashamed of me!"

"Ashamed? Why the pessimistic approach? People like different... things. There is always somebody for... somebody."

She snorted. "I mean, at the beginning, I was hopeful, I wanted a boyfriend, love, romance. Be treated like a princess... One guy from our high school... I liked him... He finally agreed to meet with me. When I visited him at his home, he said to me with contempt, 'You can suck me, Rain, but I could never have a girlfriend like you. Most people regard trans as just a trend. They would laugh at me that I'm in a relationship with some crazy TikTok-tranny..."

"You're not on TikTok, are you?" I raised my eyebrows in fearful suspicion.

"I'm not," she smirked, seeing my frightened expression, "I'm an old-fashioned transgirl. He was just... generalizing! Unfairly..."

"What happened with you and him?"

Rain lowered her head. "After he said it, I stood up and left. I felt so... humiliated. It was like a slap in my face."

"I'm sorry. Do I know him?" I asked, having some weird suspicion...

"Probably. It's Adam Durden."

Fuck, I was correct. I rolled my eyes. The guy was a jock, playing in a football team. I felt weird relief, however, as I regarded myself as better looking than him, and for sure I had a better build! For some reason, it... made me satisfied.

"Oh, God. He is such a jerk. What happened then?"

"He was angry I denied him blowjobs. He became mean and snarky. That situation triggered my depression. His rejection of even the possibility we could be... together... was a blow to my confidence."

"You didn't try to find anyone else?"

"I tried to talk with people online. But it wasn't much better. I just received a bunch of dick pics and very explicit propositions. My following fantasies had their source in my self-esteem spiraling down. I thought it's all I deserved. Being somebody's cum-dump, or fetish, a sexual slave. Never an equal. I couldn't hope for more, so I started to immerse myself in fantasies of... the limited possibilities that seemed within my reach. I was bitter and desperate. And stupid. But there's always a silver lining in... every situation. Thanks to all that mess... I got to know you."

She went silent.

We looked each other in the eyes. I analyzed her face, maybe for the first time, for real. She wasn't pretty; she still looked very boyish, with strong lines of eyebrows, a rather pronounced nose, and big, nerdy glasses. The sweetest part of her face were her soft, full lips, that I ogled for a while. With her curly, always slightly rumpled hair, she looked a bit wild.

But she had something about herself. Some... strange innocence, almost vulnerability. I lowered my gaze to her breasts, that I missed so much. I could see two pretty mounds under her humble, dark gray sweater. I remembered vividly how beautiful and sexy they were.

"I can see where you look..." she mumbled, nibbling on her lip. "Sometimes I catch you staring at them when you think I don't see it..."

Snorting and rolling my eyes, I responded, "Because I wasn't lying then, Rain. It wasn't just a game inspired by your post. Your body is a perfection to me. You are my type. A perfect fit. Five minutes after I saw your pictures, I downloaded them to my phone and rushed to the bathroom to rub one off."

I opened my phone and found the pictures. I raised my hand and showed them to her.

She fixed her eyes on the screen.

"They're not... up to date, you know?"

"What do you mean?" I got a little worried.

She chuckled. "I've put on a few pounds, probably about ten or more. I was eating my stress away.. Haven't you noticed? I know I don't wear skin-tight clothes, but I was sure you could tell."

I checked her out again. "I just thought you were wearing those stupid padded bras I hate so much. I think you would look great in just a lacey bra."

She hooded her eyes. "But I wear lacey bras, Braxton..."

"You do...?" I whispered, a little breathless.

"Yep. I told you I gained ten pounds..." I watched her face intently, she nibbled at her lip. "They are just bigger..."

I swallowed and kept my eyes on her chest. "Would you... consider showing me the updated version?"

She tilted her head. "I don't know. Just show...?"

I responded with a smirk. "If you gained a few pounds, your ass is probably slightly more... round and plump now. I would want to check it also."

Rain bit her lower lip. "Are you sure it's a good idea?"

"I'm... a very curious type of person. If you say something has changed, I just... would want to inspect that. You know how I feel about thorough inspections?"

"I remember... But where could this lead us?"

"We'll see, Rain. We have to start with... something."

"Okay..." She finally nodded.

Crawling on my knees toward her, I overcame the stack of pillows and sat right next to her.

We looked into each other's eyes. She smiled shyly. I raised my hand and gently brushed her cheek, and she closed her eyes.

"I missed moments like these so much, you know?"

"Me too, Rain. Sometimes I wanted so much to dig into them, beneath all the mess, to feel that same fun again..."

"Exactly... dig up what we... buried..."

I took a deep breath.

She lowered her eyes to my hands. Definitely, now it was time to dig up what we had buried. And so I slowly grabbed the edge of her sweater and pulled it over her head.

And there they were.

She had a white lacey bra on her breasts. I had already forgotten how fragile and small she was. Narrow, delicate shoulders, smooth collarbones, pure white skin, and her tits so clearly visible under the thin, transparent lace.

They were bigger than the last time, for sure! The pink, swollen, unusually large nipples were just under the sheer fabric, pushing against it, almost stretching it.

I almost stopped breathing.

Finally I exhaled, "Wow, they are so squashed, you need a bigger bra for sure...they look like they are suffering in such a tight confinement".

My dick immediately sprang to life, and since I was wearing sweatpants, it quickly became obvious what I thought of her breasts.

She looked down and chuckled. "Well, I take it as a compliment..."

"It sure is, the most honest part of my body. It just... can't lie, Rain."

I slowly reached out my hand and brushed over the flawless skin of her shoulder and neck. Rain made a small gasp.

"Let me see them directly... with nothing between us," I whispered, staring intently at her puffy nipples.

Rain put her hands on her back and unhooked her bra. She slowly took it off, revealing her delicate breasts with large nipples sitting on the white bases like pink mushroom caps.

I just stared at them for a while and she blushed.

"Why are they so pretty?" I asked in amazement.

"I don't know if they would be pretty... for a general opinion, but it makes me happy... you find them attractive. That's all that matters to me," she whispered.

I moved a little to be closer to her and raised my eyes to meet hers. Slowly, I put my hand on her back and pulled her toward me so that her breasts were resting on my chest and our faces were in front of each other. (her tits nicely bulged up in the process, but that's not the point... or was it?)

There was a moment of silence.

"I want you, Rain. I want to have sex with you again," I said honestly, looking into her dilated pupils.

"Okay," she just whispered breathlessly.

Wow... what a wonderful "okay", the best word in the world.

So I slowly lowered myself over her and our lips got very close. I could feel her accelerated breath on my chin. So I closed the distance and left the softest of nibbles on her full lower lip, then on her upper lip, while my fingers skimmed the tendons of her neck.