All Comments on 'This Old House'

... he had actually been there and pulled the trigger... would have been a much better story.

To say that I despise the wife is an understatement and nothing she does at the end redeems her. That said, it was an excellent story told very well. It was dark to be sure, but excellent. Well done!

She can't buy her way out of hell, Too bad her ex didn't pull the trigger.

Some random, incoherent ramblings from someone I've never heard of.

I HATE when cheaters win.

Be better if George got to shoot Ron every night.

However your cut and paste of the love scenes distracted from your story.

.....Please, this is not entertaining nor artistic.

"George never remarried, nor even dated anyone"

He lived like a pitiful recluse for the rest of his life, so George might as well have just shot Ron and his cruel bitch of an ex-wife.

1* because the cunt basically got rewarded for becoming a corporate whore, betraying her husband, and stealing his daughter.

I came this close to pulling a trigger many years ago. When you loose your wife, kids and home. It still hurts 35 years later. The kids and residual love I had in me saved the day for them.

Very touching story. The sadness and pain of growing old.

Why didn't he fight for his daughter?

Interesting take on their lives. Interesting that the wife can reminisce about the sex with good old Ronnie quite vividly. What a bitch - so she organises care for him when he's dying, after completely fucking up his life. Big deal. Cancer is too much of an easy way out for her.

So sad, but many times it is true to life.

seems she was a gold digger and lost everything, lol

Imagine being George:

• Cuckolded throughout the last two years of his marriage, if not longer (although, given how explicit Caroline was during her talk with Beverly, I'm pretty sure she would have mention it if she was always unfaithful to him)

• Eventually dumped by his worthless wife for the true love of her life (not even debatable - she not only stayed married to Ron way longer, but also never cheated on him, correct? 'Nuff said...)

• Lost his only child in the process (some would say that he actually turned his back to Barbara when she wanted to re-start their relationship... but an argument can be made that, at 14 years old, choosing to hang out with your mom's rich new boyfriend instead of staying with your dad show you to be as opportunistic as your mother, and therefore not worth caring about...)

• And, ultimately, lost himself into the pain of it all, without ever finding an exit to his misery.

Honestly... 'Rather be dead than to ever be that poor sap.

What a miserable existence the MC forced himself to live - yes, what happened to him was painful, no doubt about it, but he seems to have gone out of his way to punish HIMSELF over the crime of losing the two most important women of his life, when those lost had very little to do with him. Man, being him, if I felt I wasn't good enough to live, or at least try to live, a happy life, I would just blow my head up with that deer rifle and be done with it. Why would I want to prolong my torment?

All this is already bad enough... still, the worst is yet to come.

But before I go on about it, a question directly related to it:

George may not have been rich, but he was far from being destitute: he had an above-average job, with a high-middle class salary, which gave him annual bonuses; after his divorce, he not only paid no money whatsoever to his ex, but kept most of their accumulated wealth (yeah, yeah, Caroline had her secret account, but I seriously doubt it was worth more than their savings, the cars and the house put together); he probably spent only the bare minimum on his divorce; as far as the author told us, the man didn't waste any of his money on anything, didn't gamble or drink it away, didn't even use it to get pussies (!!!); he worked until his retirement, which means he got SS coming in, plus Medicare, on top of all the unused wealth he amassed since his divorce; furthermore, his in-laws, who were themselves well off, and loved him like a son, probably gave him a good chunk of their estate when they passed away, especially given that they disowned their own daughter over her leaving him; and lastly, the fact that he sold most of his assets, and ended up buying the cheapest house he could find, not because of its price, but for its convenience.

So... all of this force us to ask the most obvious question about this story:

Why the fuck did Caroline had to step up to help out George during his later years?

This makes no sense. He doesn't need her pity, her money, nothing whatsoever from her... An apology would be nice, but that's about it! Why does he needs a trust fund to sustain himself? Why can't he paid himself for a plumber, if he needs a new flush valve for his toilet? WHERE DID ALL OF HIS MONEY WENT?

I don't mind his kid and his grandkids being a part of his life, helping him out (it's actually very bittersweet, given that they seem to have genuine loving feelings towards George, and he'll never know it...), but it truly piss me off that Caroline, a woman that essentially annihilated him, with very little remorse afterward, basically ends up being his caretaker or, at the very least, the money behind him being cared for. I mean... FUCK THAT! I bet you this: if George ever learned about this before she died, he'll, all of a sudden, find the strength to breathe and walk by himself, all the way to her hospital room... so he could finally CHOKE HER TO DEATH. This whole angle of this story is absolutely worst, in my book, then the cheating & breakup of the marriage - nothing worst than being help out by someone who had no respect for you and thought of you as below her standards.

Shit... once again, rather be dead than go through this!

Stories like these makes you seriously wonder whether or not dying young is a blessing... OK, definitely not young-young, but 'comes a time, around your 70's, that your quality of life is so poor, death seems like a blessing. I absolutely have no clue as to what keeps George wanting to live another day - why is it thankful for another day, when all of the people he cares about have been gone for so long? Sure, he has a lot of people around him that cares about him, but he's barely aware of it! So what's the point?

Sigh... 'truly gave us a depressing one there, author. It sadden me... angered me... made me think way too much about my own mortality. Not a fun read, but I still respect the spirit behind it... although I cannot help feeling that Caroline deserved much more suffering. Another tale about a lost soul that will make some think twice about giving their heart away to the first pretty face they meant.

All and all, a well written tragedy.

u feed my emotion machine man. lol damn ur good, im going to smoke a cig then go to sleep. u left me quite satisfied lol tyvm for the read. keep'em coming

The grandchildren should let George know who they are. It would bring some joy to him in his lonely life. He would be mad at them. Barbara should have mended the rift between them years ago. Caroline was a disgusting whore. Hopefully she will live on in great pain for many years yet.

to dry and unemotional

wife didnt suffer, daughter didnt suffer

aint got time to

And only the victim suffers

A bit disjointed. The ex-wife being so graphic to the social worker feels a bit surreal. But you known what? Five stars. Because it’s not everyone who understands that a good ending doesn’t have to be a happy one.

His problem is not diabetes, lungs or heart. You presented the whole story... Wrong Way.

You tried to add passion to it, but in the wrong sections.

Being able to write is not about great grammar, spelling or composition

(most people here are very wrong about it),

It is about making reader feel with a character.

That was missing in your story.

Well written though. Much better than the usual demented garbage on here.

They both lost their family. But her punishment was living knowing she had lost her family. He, however, unknowingly had the benefit of his family’s love, and his ex wife knew that as well. The ex wife is paying a terrible price for her mistake

On the one hand, we've got a lonely old man restricted to a wheelchair, suffering with severe memory loss in a house that's about as jaded as he is.

On the other, a callous, mostly unrepentant ex-wife who up and left with their only child to live the high life. Moreover, having been so emotionally manipulative and unashamedly deceptive during her marriage to George, the idea that she becomes this faithful and loving person for the next several decades is...far-fetched?

The only decent humans in the tale seem to be the medics and the grandchildren. Do they (Melody/Joshua) care so deeply for George because their mother's love was so easily bought?

While there was most definitely cheating. it could've been submitted to Non-Erotic IMO.

Poor George, all alone and not knowing that he is is being cared for by his estranged family, paid for by his cheating working-whore ex-wife. Sad, a little confusing until the facts emerged, but I liked it.

I understand that Loving Wives is about cheating spouses, but this character carried it way too far.

She's a cheating whore who's trying to buy her way into heaven. the daughter's just as bad, she was given a choice and she chose the cheater, so fuck her too. And the second husband was as faith as she knew. He probably had a few side chicks. But at least hell awaits her crusty old ass.

The loving/cheating wife content, at least to me was an aside from. Being close to 70 myself, I identified with the physical frailties, he aptly described and the feelings that come along with it. Thank goodness, I'm not that ill yet, my only problems are my excruciatingly painful knees. I refuse to use a wheel chair and just put up with the pain, a couple days a week I take a small vacation from the pain, thanks to the miracles of modern chemistry. But I know it is just a matter of time before all the maladies he described befalls me. Growing old sucks. That's what the stories gets across, I barely noticed the infidelity. Maybe it's just people my age. You young'uns enjoy youth while you have it. Sometimes it just hurts when you think, there is just a little tiny bit of life ahead of you and a whole shitload behind you and there ain't shit you can do about it. Your not going to get better, your pains will be there with you till you die. If you injure yourself, you may heal, but you won't heal 100% you'll always have a little residual left, even after the Dr. says you are healed.

You wrote my sad biography. Only I didn't get to have children and I died after the operation - which happened to be a success, so I'm a ward of the medical industry.

Hope I don't lose my senses before I can work the trigger that puts me out of this misery.

Smokepole

Too much shit to digest! God Dam it sounds too much like real fucking life to be enjoyable. 1 star

About the story and the persons in it, fuck it if you dont agree write your own!

A little sad for Georg but he doesnt remember so its good for him. She does what a lot of wifes do only looking for a better life with a rich man. And you cant blame a twelve year old for her decision to go with her mother, which twelve year old has the look to see the future? I wish you had let Barbara tell her story. Maybe in a next chapter? And dont repeat the sex scene its ever the same do a little variety.

Would have got 5* if he pulled the trigger...

Well written, thought provoking, and the ending tugged at my heart.

Everything was predictable, but not in my face. Too bad the cheating wife realized, perhaps (you really didn't cover that, so I'm projecting), what she had so blithely discarded.

Very good for its length, this could be expanded to give the characters more depth. Good job!

The sad truth is that his daughter had as much choice as the luggage. My parents were in love with being married, not with their spouses. Mom 4 marriages, three divorces, Dad, 4 marriages and who knows how many common law wives. I lost count at 5. Women and men flowed through their houses like sunshine through a church window. All kinds of colors and as little permanence and impact as a shadow. Where did that leave my brother, sister and I? We were luggage, moved from house to house. I learned to cook, to do our laundry, and pay bills all by 9 years old. I kept the phone, lights, heat, mortgage all paid sometimes by stealing, mostly by charity (Mormons are better people than some people think, I could not work but I could "steal" or so I thought, I learned years later that they let me, I know, sounds weird but they did not want us in the loving arms of a government orphanage - reservation you know, and I was again not able to work they wanted me to finish school - I thank God for them all). Where were my parents? Hunting for the next spouse, I love them both, but they were imperfect people. I loved my dad, because he was my dad. You only really get one, but I could not talk to him for 10 years because he moved, we moved, just how it was. It did not mean I did no love him, I actually called the operator and asked for my dad, I was 5 or 6, so of course she asked me his name and I said "Dad!" in an indigent tone I recall to this day. It is easier today but who actually remembers peoples phone numbers today? The daughter was just trying to survive, the wife did not know what she had, and life goes on.

I live in the Memphis area. Not to be critical, but Methodist University Hospital was just Methodist Hospital until just a few years ago, and Memphis State has been renamed The University of Memphis since 1992. Hope that you’ll write another set in this area. A five star for me for the storyline, regardless.

Original story, very nicely told

Well written, but depressing as hell. If only he had pulled the trigger it would have been a great story.

but very dark. The wife deludes herself into thinking the grass is greener on the other side of the fence. She tears up the family, doing great psychic harm(which we dont read about) and then in a last inning fit of guilt arranges care for his ex.

Not an enjoyable story, but was compelled to finish it.

Enjoyed it but was hoping for George to have some degree of happiness.

I gave it a depressing four stars. Well written but sad.

Dark, depressing, but very well presented story. Much better had he pulled the trigger. Could you write a story based off him taking the shot.

He should've either killed them all or moved on with his life and had another family .then when they crawl back tell them he disowned them and they need to leave and not bother him again

The daughter would be saved but the the wife and old Ron would have been in a world of hurt... Maybe not, they'd never know what hit them, 30 caliber makes a good hole. If they are close together, maybe just one shot!! She deserved it and so didn't that wealthy asswipe.

How the fuck would you know? Come back from the other side have you?

Minimize the sex scenes and you have something seriously impressive here. Sure you need them for LW but this story is much better than this site

He fucked up and married a gold digging whore but of such is drama made

This is another sad story that happens way too often in real life. It would be so much easier if we were all omniscient and could see this trauma coming before it was dumped in our laps, but we aren't and it is and we have to suck it up and move on. Some people, like George, can't or won't move on. That is probably the saddest story of all.

Several reviewers believe the sniper sequence really happened, rather than being an old man's recurring dream of revenge. They believe his inability to pull the trigger caused his mental breakdown. Baloney! You have to go back to the story to set the record straight.

First, there was no garden party either the day Caroline left George, or the day after. She, Ron and Barbara spent that night in the hotel suite, then departed for Palm Beach the next morning after breakfast. Prior to that, George didn't know Ron existed, much less his name, so there was neither need nor opportunity for revenge.

Second, Caroline was wearing the yellow chiffon dress she had described wearing at the garden party when she met George. (There was some confusion here, as George's earlier recollection of this party described the dress as blue. That was either an old man's faulty memory or a continuity error on the author's part.) Ron was not at that earlier party. Caroline didn't meet him until after she and George married.

George merely inserted his approximation of Ron, a man he had never met, into that memory for the purpose of mentally, not physically, exacting his vengeance.

Chicken soup for the soul.

As is often true in such dreams, he woke up before he could pull the trigger. That's the subconscious mind's way of telling us: "It's a nice dream, but we both know it isn't going to happen that way, don't we?"

How many times has that happened to any of us?

A 75 year grandma doesn’t describe sex as dropping to be knees to slurp his cock

Into her mouth. Cmon don’t ruin a great idea because you think you need graphic sex scenes

A powerful story, well written.

I agree with comments

on grandma's sex scenes.

That was in bad taste.

Not the worst I've seen from writers though.

Parents describing their sex life

to their children.

That must be the worst.

I wonder if the daughter turned

into a whore or a slut, as her mother.

It wouldn't surprise me.

Thankfully her father has forgotten her.

4 out of 5 from me.

I do agree with others that the sex scenes were unnecessary and detracted from the story, lessening its impact.

Where in the world do you Authors pull these spineless cucks from.

The wife is a prostitute ' again ',

dear ole hubby - clueless ' again ',

He finds out he could pursue legal avenues to at least get closure,

nahhh can’t do that, somebody might look at me.

Drivel pure and simple.

Should be a zero score option

As with all whores she deserves to die alone and in great pain, just saying.

Cold hearted woman! Plot was great. 5

Such a good story! There are layers and the reveals continue right to the very end. Thank you for sharing that. It was terrific!

Okay, so the wife 'wins'. She sleeps around for years, leaves her husband, gets stupid rich. And dies a wealthy woman. Her parents no longer talk to her, but she barely cares. Her daughter was essentially disowned by her ex husband, and she places the blame more so on him.

She tells this story to complain, not outta guilt. She even admits to feeling no guilt. She feels a little pissy here and there. But why did her ex never re-marry? Why is this such a tired cliche'? She clearly never loved him. Why does he remain faithful to this faithless cunt? Why punish his daughter her whole life?

Simply cannot help but agree with "Just_Words". A terrific story to be read and read again. LP

Depressing story and I hated it. Well written but why do you give the cheating wife's a happy ending and the poor husband's suffer for the rest of their lives? Even in your Starlight story, you still gave the cheating whore a happy ending.

A good story but I want to add my voice to those who have complained about the sex scenes. Graphic descriptions of sexual activities are only suitable for stroke stories; they invariably spoil stories of this type but the author has compounded that wrong by incorporating the sex scenes into the narration of an old woman telling her life story to a younger woman she is meeting for the first time. There is no way any woman, especially an old one would be using that kind of language, even one with such questionable morals as Caroline.

Wife is a slut bitch married an honest man and screwed him over. In her.mind taking care of him in old age makes up for it. She robbed him along with her cheater. Hell is too warm of a place for her

This was not a story that I found especially entertaining. The overwhelming emotion was one of dementia and depression. The sex scenes did nothing to alleviate these negative feelings in this reader