All Comments on 'Thorne Ch. 04'

Again, a fine work of art. This is getting good. Although it is still early, the possibilities are limitless. The hunters in the Emerald club, and Barb's proliferation to "show off" should cause both families anxiety to rise. Barb doesn't and probably never will get it. Olivia intrigues me.

Thank you,

M1

Hmm... this chapter was full of surprises. As usual, Barb really stepped into it. First off she failed to listen to Adrianna, then she invaded Noel's space. All these things could have potentially put her life in danger. And still, Barb remains clueless.

What has really piqued my interest is those eyes in the portait. They seem to be the dominate theme in the chapter. Barb feels thoses eyes are familar. Then when Noel is introduce to Juliette, her eyes seems to draw him him. Could Wanda possibly be Noel's mate?

When I read the part about Harry and the scar it had me wondering about Nadine because they said she was living with a vampire and Hans found her. I wonder if she is the one he is looking for. I also find myself wondering Olivia could be Joseph's mate. I'm not sure why that thought struck me but it did. I think it would be interesting to see her battle her hatred of vampires because of being a mate to one.

Its also pretty obvious that one of Juliette's daughters is the mate to Noel but which one? Celeste could grow to be very strong and might be able to help him through the ordeal of remembering but she may be to empathic for that. I also found it interesting that Noel and Leon liked each other especially when they share the same name in reverse. I just realized spelling each name backwards is the others name. I wonder if that was intentional.

More drama

I am almost certain the vampire hunters is the family that turned Nadine and left for dead. This meet up between the Sinclaires and the hunters shall be interesting. Both Leon and Hans will be out for blood regarding Nadine.

On another note I am absolutely tired of Barb! I keep routing for a change of heart in her and Thorne but I dont even know how that would work. She is freaking miserable and just hard to even try to like at this point.

Keep up the good work Kal!

Why do I feel that it is Celeste's eyes that Noel is painting?

I always had a feeling Noel painted the eyes of one of Juliette's girls but I figured they were too young to be his mate. I'm not going to rule it out and wait because Kalamazoo707 always has twists in these stories when I thought I have it figured out.

I too think it's Celeste's eyes that Noel painted. So exciting!

I am glad you were able to give us some Chistmas cheer with this update. You open so many doors and leave so many possibilities for different things to happen!! I can't wait for Chapter 5. Happy New Year~

Her family loves and supports her yet she chooses to be an ass. It's annoying. She has the potential to be kind, but she stubbornly holds onto this misguided notion that because she didn't have a bunch of material things growing up that her life is so disadvantaged.

I've been rooting for her to grow up, now I just want her to grow up. I feel for this kid, because the child already knows that he/she isn't wanted by their mother. That is awful. Her mother never did that to her. So, so selfish.

Since Barbara now has money, maybe she should buy a clue!

OMIGOSH!! Noel's painting has got to be that of Celeste! OMG!! I totally screamed when I figured it out lol, haha.

I freaking love how you put your plots together Kala, simply awesome!

Great chapter! But I want to smack Barb every other sentence. However it makes for a fantastic story.

Thorne has been an absolute self-described bastard since day one and hasn't changed for the better since. He and his friend used Barb like a total whore without any consideration for the possibility of pregnancy or warning about the consequence of immortality. He treated Michelle even worse for falling in love with him, despite his high-handed preaching to Barb about loving and loving back. He has repeatedly violated the terms of his own contract, adding new stipulations any time he feels its acceptable as if he were some sort of retarded alpha werewolf rather than someone bound by his own contract. He talks about loving his kid and giving the kid a stable environment, yet won't make any attempt to bond with the woman who is necessary to providing that environment, guaranteeing that the child can never have it. He honestly thinks that by paying someone to care for a child, that will somehow make them love it. He talks about how he kisses her as a show of respect, yet he has made it absolutely clear that he has NO respect for her, has outright called her a whore, and treats her as nothing more than a sex object to be bullied around.

Yeah, both of these pair really need to grow up. They're so unnecessarily antagonistic towards each other that Olivia and the gang might as well off both of the idiots and put them out of the child's misery. Kid doesn't deserve an apathetic bitch of a money-grubber for a mother, and a vicious woman-hating bastard for a father. I think the only female he's shown any real respect to so far is Gretchen, and the creepy bitch uses mind-control on people like it's any better than the manipulative bullshit that Barb pulls.

You can't even create a facade of a loving environment with a child being exposed to that on a daily basis.

Thorne has never lied about who or what he is. Michelle knew it and even admits that she was hoping that she could get him to change. The night that he and Allen used barb... he gave her several chances to leave. Her family begged her to leave, he warned her that he wasn't a nice man. Bond with what? a money hungry bitch who keeps putting her wants and needs above that of her self-respect and her child? barb even admits that the baby is a means to an end and everything she has done has an ulterior motive. Why did she choose Adrianna? she thought that she could get over on her. Why was she going to be nice to grant? because she thought that she could sway him to her side. Thorne is honest enough to admit that he fucked up, but barb isn't. And... Thorne has never kissed Barb. He was explaining the kiss to her. He tells her that he will never kiss her like that. My hope is that they two of them will come to some understanding so that they can raise this baby together even if they never come to love each other.

As always. You weave your stories so well!! I love it when you update! Well done Kala!!

Like previous commentor i cant wait till barb grows up and gets bitch slapped in the face by reality

Ummm.... Barb is a total bitch!

The drivers behind Barb's behavior have been well established. I truly enjoy your stories and feel like you have done great work around character development. Barb, as a character, cannot continue with the exact same behavior all the time. She has to evolve. Please do so sooner rather than later. She can still be a selfish bitch while "getting a clue" about her new life. I love your writing, and hope you consider this suggestion.

Why do people insist on telling a writer how to write his/ her characters? i've noticed this trend in other writers' storiees too. The character is the creation of the writer and whether they change them or not is at their discretion and nor that of the readers. Idk if anyone has noticed, but Barb is trying to be more subtle. Did she not sit down with Adrianna? Too sudden of a turnaround would come off as unrealistic and as one person said... not everyone changes nor do they want to. If the writer decides to keep barb as she is then so be it

Anon ITA! Kal keeping writing your stories your way.

Throne you got to luv him. Great update please continue.

Or at least I hope I do. Noel has a wonderful mate. I'm so happy!

Barb I really want Barb to die, but first she must have the baby and then I want her non-existing heart cut out and her head cut off. That woman makes my teeth itch!! I wonder who Noel's mate is? Could she be her daughter Wands since the eyes are similar? I so love your stories, you are so amazing Kal!!

I had hoped her beginning to bond with the baby would do it, but it seems like more of a like a meal ticket to her than a precious treasure. It's sad that she wants what the others have, but is not willing to do what the others do to get it. Eternity is a long time to be stuck in a loveless marriage.

I don't hate her. I think her less than perfect character is sometimes refreshing to the syrupy-sweet personalities of most of the women that have become cliche in these types of stories. Her "edge" is not off putting; its the way that she treats people. Especially those who go out of their way to be nice to her. Maybe Thorne should treat her worse or maybe he should take a lover. Nothing like the potential of being replaced to make someone value what they have.

I'm sorry to say it, but something terrible is going to have to happen to Barb in order for her to get a clue. I thought how Thorne had treated her when they first met would do it, but I guess it wasn't terrible enough. Maybe one of the hunters (perhaps Harry) will go after her. Maybe losing the baby. Louise has already sensed that the baby is sad, maybe it will decide that it does not want to be born to her as a mother. I can think of nothing more humbling that realizing that not even your own baby wants you.

Kal, you do it every time. I figured that the eyes in the painting would be of Celeste. However, it could be Wanda's. Leon is the man and Thorne is "da bomb". Noel let the other side of him show when he needed to. Also, I too thought about Nadine when you mentioned about how Harry obtained his scar. This is already a wonderful story but, if possible, it is getting better. anxiously but patiently waiting on an update. Have a very happy New Year.

Got the gall to stop being such a pussy and sign up. Woo. Now, I have to say.. I've read your stories.. followed you from the beginning and you just make things so real for me. This story.. is mesmerizing.

He knew exactly the type of woman Barb was, because of his severe mommy issues, yet he slept with her anyways? This character is full of it. If he "could see right through Barb", then he should of avoided her. LOL sucks to be him. So now he's taking out his anger his one night stand because he ignored his self-awareness of using a gold digger. Looks like that bit him square on the ass.

Btw, he's not a real mate if he's keeps barking about protecting the baby, while he's neglected to fill Barb in on the sexually disgusting predators who raped innocent women for 500 years, who just happened to be married to Barb's sister. Family loyalty my arse! LOL! I stilll didn't know that being an immature, self absorded gold digger was worse than being angry serial rapists like Patrick and Ethan, their brothers, daddy, and granddaddy, who stopped raping AFTER 500 YEARS. So during the 500 years, they were monsters who didn't give a damm who they hurt. 500 years of raping women, even in some cases their mates like Ethan and Patrick.

Every single mate of the Yancy's told them about the monsterous rape history, except Thorne. But he's such a "strong" man. PFFT? The best time to tell Barb was after the meeting. But no, Thorne once again shows he's incompetent or just plain sadistic. I'm not sure. But he's not getting a pass because he keeps putting Barb in what he thinks is her place.

I'm wondering if Thorne is as emotionally damaged as his brother Noel. If Wanda or Celeste is his mate, there as desperate as their aunts. Seems like a theme to settle as long as the guys are rich in this storyline.

And Barb, her character has gone from sugar to crap. She went from a gold digger with an edge to a gold digger with no backbone or brains. Then again, if her sisters can accept the LONG 500 year rape history of the Sinclairs without revulsion, then Barb has her lack of backbone honestly seeing how easily her siblings rolled over for sexually predatory rapists who learned the lesson of sexually assautling innocent women centuries later. It is amazing what some women will accept and call it "strength".

Perhaps Barb should gain 120lbs of extra weight in order to garner sympathy for her lack of backbone. After all, it's worked for her sisters.

^meant Ethan and Martin raped their own mates, and the cherry on top was Jesse raping and killing his mate, then cowardly himself. That is when the Sinclairs "decided" to take action. After 500 HUNDRED YEARS!

Barb is evil incarnate worthy of death, NOT!! Most rich men do marry gold diggers and trophy wives anyways, and no one says boo about it. Perhaps she should blame her gold digging ways on "genetics" or "because she was so poor", and become a black widow for 500 years. After 500 years of giving not one f*ck for her victims, because apparentlly rape can be justified if the guys says oops, sorry, my bad, didn't mean it, i'm changed because I didn't recognize true love of my mate. After all, it's worked so well for Ethan, Patrick, and Martin. Barb could get away with it like her brothers-in-laws did.

I agree150%. No one in this story is a good guy. Thorne is a bully. Not some great guy that should be praised. He's horrible.

Happy New Year!

Glad I'm not the only one that's not hyping this Thorne character up as someone he's clearly not. I was Team Barb and looking forward to this spinoff, but it's been a very disappointing continuation of the last boring disney princess spinoff.

All these dissertations on character development? Why? It's. A. STORY. It's not real; these are not real people. It's for entertainment purposes only. Let's all calm down, and if we can't just enjoy ourselves then maybe we should find new stories to read.

That said, I hate Barb, I hate Thorne, but I'm really looking forward to what happens in the story with the Yancys and Sinclairs. And Celeste and Noel?!? Write faster please ;)

I have laughed so hard. ScorpMoon, you are crazy but...... TRUTHFUL and REALISTIC. It's crazy that I thought I was alone with thinking the exact same thing. How in the hell! Great story but lacks invention and development. Scorpmoon we should kick it

Elmo and posters like you indirectly calling me out for having an issue with this storyline can have a stadium full of seats. Reading fictional stories are about reading about the characters and, wait for it, THEIR. CHARACTER.DEVELOPMENT. WITHIN.A.STORY. You and others disagreeing with me can be lazy minded all you like, just don't drag yourself to me without having all the facts, available to you, clear? Stick to reading stories and keep that ghetto psycho analysis to yourself. My unfavorable opinions against certain characters in this spinoff does not equate with my "struggling with reality", Einstein, hence my previous post explaining why I found Thorne and the rest of the CHARACTERS disappointing. Cease with the desperate overreach. How about this, you and others having a problem with contrary opinions made by me can stay all the way in your lane where you belong, exercise impulse control, and ignore my posts if you don't like them. In the meantime, doing me in 2013.

I couldn't agree with you more.

My issue is that this is Kal's page and Kal's stories and the way you come on here and rip her apart is disrespectful. If you hate the stories so much stop reading them. But the way you come on and spew all this hatefulness is unnecessary. It seems like you've been reading all the stories and have disliked them all, so why come back? So that she'll change her style to suit you?

If the stories upset you so much then stop reading them; life is too short to spend your time over-analyzing a story on a website. I usually don't reply to people (and won't again, so may up some "witty" comeback if it makes you feel better about yourself), but I just wanted to stick up for Kal. There's a big difference between taking issue with grammar or plot lines, than ripping to shreds the basis of all the stories she's written.

Happy New Year.

Puhleeeeeeeezzzzzzz! Stop moanining abt how bad the story is! Just don't read it!!!! Seriously!! Do u realy need 2 b so agreesive in yo opinion! Geez! Calm down! Personaly I think kalamazoo is a great writer and should b commended 4 writing such good stories! So people,chilax!!! Ok

Again people, its a FICTIONAL story! If you don't like her stories, don't read them or better yet, since you think you can do better, SHUT UP and write your own! This is my opinion & if you don't like it, go get a life!

Barb is still arrogant and stupid, although I know a change has to come. But when? It might be after her stubbornness almost gets her killed. As for Thorn, he is who he is and I don't think he lied about that. Being nice to Barb thus far would not have gotten him anywhere, she's still in bitch mode. Something drastic has to happen to soften her attitude. A relationship that starts off this bad, shouldn't be too easy too soon. She has lessons to learn. Maybe she can learn some from that baby she's carrying. Maybe she could learn to love herself while she's learning to love the baby.

FYI, writers putting their work out to a public audience or seeking publishers, open themselves up to praise and accolades, including critiques of work presented by them as well. It's called Creative Writing 101. Inexplicably, these basic concepts continues to elude quite a few of posters such as yourself.

Come on with the bullshit, ok? Thorne's character haven't kept it real since his character was first introduced in Disney Princess Louise's series. My disdain for certain characters in this latest Ethan spinoff has nothing to do with personally attacking Kalamazoo. Please learn the definition of criticism and develop a thicker skin. It's no wonder my previous points made regarding character development, plot holes, inconsistencies, and contradictory themes flew clear over your head.

And based on reading this entire Sinclair series, my informed praises and critiques are both substative and valid, unlike your frivilous superficial responses.

Ta.

Its a fucking story!!! We fucking get it... you hate the Sinclair's. .. you love barb. Let it the fuck go already! !!!

A sign of a good story is when people are talking about it!! And my goodness are they talking. I like this story, it is complicated and thought provoking. By no means do I condone rape. This is a Vampire fantasy story, a culture completely made up(in case any one forgot) and the repercussions of some traditions. A VERY interesting read this whole series has been. Fun fiction fact: Not all the Vamps in this story have hurt women. Great writing Kalamazoo

ScorpMoon, I agree with Kalamazoo & others that if you don't like the story then don't read it. This whole back & forth between you and others is enough already. Yes, Kalamazoo put her story out there to be read and expected good comments or CONSTRUCTIVE CRITICISM. What she did not expect were for so called adults to lower themselves to childish behavior by emailing her or post calling her names or tearing down her stories. I know others that used to post on this site but don't any longer because of the way people acted and yes they still post but somewhere else.

Everyone who read Ethan knew what was going on in the series. There was no excuse for those that did not like it to continue reading the other stories. No one was holding a gun to their heads or any other forms of coercion.

I didn't like what Ethan and his family was doing but I decided to continue reading to see what happened. I stayed with it because I like the way the author writes. Plus how she get readers involved in the stories. As with any story people have their favorite character and have the right to say so. No one is wrong for either liking or disliking Barb, Thorn, Ethan, etc. This is fiction!

Damn if people can't keep a civil tongue about a fictional story I would hate to see how they act in real life circumstances. I won't be surprised if someone replies negatively to my post, but you know what, GO FOR IT. Happy 2013!!!

I hope you upload soon. Anyways i just love/hate Barbara, i thought being pregnant would change her. I hope it changes her behaviour, because strangely enough i really like her strength and determination. & Thorne that ASS needs to seriously kiss her or im going to DIE!!!! loool

Thanks for such a wonderful story!! x

Yes, this whole back and forth is ridiculous, and now you've decided to participate in this "childish" exchange. Take your lessons on civility to the other posters because last time I checked, I'm not arguing with myself. When you and others having problems with my comments address others for their comments in a similar direct manner within this childish exchange as you call it, then your post would have merit. Therefore, do not come at me as if you're some kind of objective peacemaker posting under the guise of neutrality. I'm not conceding and everything I've posted stands.

Ta.

I get that this story isn't what many people would like, and they feel free to sprout their disagreement with it. Bringing up plot points, grammar, spelling, etc to build a richer, more genuine story helps an author bring out the best of their talent. Name calling, and general shit talk is childish and does nothing but make the poster appear ignorant. If you do not like a story, plot line, or whatever, then do not make the effort to read it, let alone comment on it.

I wasn't going to say anything... but please stop fighting. To those of you who didn't like the story from the beginning... stop reading it. It's that simple. If you can't remember that this is a work of fiction- then stop reading it.If you can't get past one point in the story and ignore everything else in it- stop reading it. As I said in my bio page, I don't write to anger people...Scorpmoon... you know what? Never mind... It would be pointless for me to continue. All I ask is that people read, enjoy, like or dislike- whatever; but please no more fighting. Thanks

Happy New Year Kal,

Normally I like to stay pretty under the radar on this site. I read, vote and keep it moving. I just wanted to let you know that I am a big fan. Those of us who enjoy your work, will continue to read and appreciate your stories. I am an avid reader. I purchase lots of traditionally published work which I often do not find nearly as entertaining as your work. Sometimes I actually wish I could ask for my money back, lol! The truth is; those who can, do. Those who can't, critique!

To be fair people do have the right to their opinions. I really hope that all of "this" will not diminish your enjoyment of the process. I would really miss your stories if you decided not to post them here in the future. Based on the ratings for your stories clearly I'm not the only one who is a fan. I can't wait to see where you decide to take Barb and Thorne. Keep doing your thing, because as they say "haters gonna hate" ( I always wanted to say that:) lol!

Cheers,

Moon

p.s. Thank you for always finishing your stories. So many authors on this site do not.

Allow me to address the email harassment issue you've been experiencing recently. So you and I are very clear, and there is no further speculation, I, nor anyone else encouraged by me, have never, ever sent nasty harassing personal emails to you or anyone else in my entire history of using this site, period. Any and all praises or criticisms posted on this site by me are posted in the comment section.

Since you're a writer, responding to constructive criticism with,"if you don't like it, don't read it", hurts your credibility moreso than one providing said criticism of fictional work.

I never said that you sent me the email. Nor did I imply that you did. The if you don't like it attitude is a fact of life... at least mine anyway. If I don't like something, I simply don't do it. I have read books by well known authors. If I don't care for the subject matter or the book... I stop reading it. The point of my comment was to ask that the bickering stop. It wasn't to begin another round of arguments with you or anyone else. You are entitled to whatever opinions you have just as I and anyone else is. Thank you for reading what you have.

Peace,

Kal

I didn't read this story because I didn't like either main character. I'm commenting only to show support for Kal. I love the Sinclaire family stories and think that it shows what a wonderful writer Kal is that this story invoke such emotion from the readers. Kal obviously knows how to get and keep the attention of readers just by the fact that there are people that have a dislike of this particular story and continue to read. That is what a great writer is supposed to do- make us feel. I'm sure that when Kal was writing this story she knew that her readers and fans would feel some way about Barb and Thorne, yet she gave them to us so that we can see her true talent. Enjoy the feeling that you have and either continue to read knowing that this wonderful author will have you experiencing emotions that are real and tangible yet the characters are fictional. Embrace the fact that this talented person wants to show you that sometimes the characters are not always good and redeeming, that's just like some of us.

So Kal I want to thank you so much for writing and continuing to provide entertainment and wonder. Thank you for not limiting yourself and staying trapped in a writers box. Thank you for giving us characters that make us think about more than sex but make us feel.

I wait patiently for the next story- Barb and Thorn just work my nerves LOL.

this reminds me of how we all felt about Ethan. I still dont know how you manage to make us continue reading about such despicable characters!!!! I for one,find myself fantasizing about putting Barb headfirst into a meatgrinder at very slow speed!!!!!! And yet I find myself longing for an update sooner rather than later!

K, you have powers beyond my understanding!!!!

I am not sure where you are going with this character but I find it hard to see her any other way than as fragmented as she is. Her beliefs are her's and no matter how many of her siblings ask her she has convinced herself that she had been abused and rightfully should be queen of the world. There are people like this everywhere. I am not sure if it matters what happens to her because I believe only her child is of importance. I may be wrong, but sometimes folks are just the vessel or catalyst. They are not of value simply because they devalue themselves. This hatefulness of Barb is actually mind numbing. She is bound to get killed by some stray. I wonder if someone decides to kill her in childbirth? I could be totally wrong, but she sorta reminds us of the people who commit crimes and then want to blame it on the violent video games. They are never responsible for their lacking in better judgement. Ah but then again I could be wrong. I love your work Kal, it keeps us thinking.

Now is Celeste gonna be Noel's true mate? Hmmmm? She is always whispering. I wonder what might happen if they are all in a compound together and this turns out to be true. Noel will protect his mate and well I hope Barb isn't being mean to Celeste cause Thorne is not gonna be able to stop that carnage. LOL Just my musings. Olivia seems to be an enigma to me. Her posse is a bit demented and dangerous and may prove to be a catalyst themselves for a battle royal. We shall see. Can't tell if she will be friend or foe. This is so much fun. Happy New Year!!!

P.S. - Truly if you don't like the story then stop reading, just a thought. Different strokes for different folks. KEEP IT COMING KAL!!!!!

The intent of my last post, including this one to you, was not an opportunity to start an argument with you. However, if immature fans want to continue bickering with me, AFTER you requested for everyone to stop bickering, I'll be more than happy to oblige.

Thank you for actually proving my inital point of a stopping point example, especially with well known, successful writers, because that was my point of rightfully being disappointed with Thorne's highly anticipated spinoff in the first place. My personal stopping point as a reader is entirely up to me and incomparable to yours or anyone else's actions. Since I'm not reading auto-biographical material presented by you, your personal life philosophy isn't germane to me reading fictional stories for entertainment.

Also, your response initial statement, "don't like it, don't read it", then following up with a completely different statement of everyone else obviously are entitled to whatever their opinion sends mixed messages.

Lastly, thank you for taking the time to read and respond to the last post.

We'll agree to disagree. It is what it is.

Ta.

Does anyone else get the feeling that Noel's mate might not be Wanda or Celeste, but Victor? They did allude to him being gay, and he liked Leon's eyes. Just saying!

I am a complete stan for your work. Though Barb tries my patients i have faith that miracle will happen and she will join the human race. I and easier to find out who Noel's mate is this is going great.

I wish barb wasn't such a bitch and I hope thorne changes as well

It is a wonderful advantage to read your stories knowing the next, is just a click away.. The eyes are almost certainly Celeste. Leon will kill Harry. Barb "the stupid cunt", May or May not change. Her daughter will capture Thornes heart, and he will surpriseinly be an adoring father.... Let's read on