All Comments on 'Thoroughbred'

Story well written and well laid out. Have to agree with others below, was disappointed with both the Selective amnesia and therefore none communication. The whole thing could have been so much more. Also it feels unfinished, part 2 to come maybe?

3 stars. Selective amnesia would make you forget a person, sure, but you'd still see them in front of the TV and hear them yelling. She'd be a stranger, not a non entity, and any person who passed Psychology 2 would see through his ruse... Other than that, great story, but that's most of the story!

Huh?

A shit story line

Little sympothy for mc at least wife realized she was wrong storyline no good

she took ... she started ... she felt ... she looked ... she wouldn't ... she dressed ... she didn't ... she stepped ...

Dude, take some writing classes.

I completely enjoyed this story and gave it 5 stars. You could have had some fun with Audra dragging him to court and getting forced counseling. At least, that is fun for me to imagine.

wheres the ending it just kind of ends

Feel sorry for the MC to have his cunt wife and her cunt boss do something so scummy!!! To be treated like that it would be impossible for a man to stay married he would have to be dumb as fuck to stay married to a fucking cunt like that!!! Thank God he got his revenge on them both and they never realized he planned it!!!

5 Stars

Perfect story of revenge. Your wife ever cheats and you find out, your marriage is dead and only simps would stay with a unfaithful shithead wife.

Where is the "F---ing" ending? A reasonable tale became a jumble of words thrown together! Leaving a tale hanging is a sure sign of an incompetent author.

I enjoyed this story! Great author that left a great ending dont know why other people dont get it.

not bad. after Kurt left for Wyoming, it got a little stupid, did like how he treated his wife.

Crazy and outlandish but pretty imaginative and an original twist on the amnesia trope!

Very imaginative. I think this needs a part 2.

Good read, I think there is room for another chapter

If Kurt had a documented mental slip as you described he would never have been allowed to keep his job with a defense contractor. Particularly because he was working on weapons systems. Any mental health issue would trigger an immediate dismissal.

I think the author has forgotten the story and ended it stupidly.

It looks more like fictional / fantasy story from a child without any logic or direction.

5 stars. This definitely deserves another chapter, would love to see a further exploration of Kurt's mental condition and why Chet and apparently the horse had a similar indent on them.

Good yarn. She got off to lightly for something so ignorant. Of course it would be her ignorance that would allow her to think there would be a way back also.

Good story although dragged on a bit the wife was miserable and in the end got divorced got what she deserved

SCI-FI

2 stars

Loved it!!

I could understand amnesia, but not even seeing her as a living being? His mind somehow got so messed up he couldn't even see or hear her.

That is entirely fantasy.

Guess what BigTim, everything and I mean everything you experience is made up in your mind, what you see, hear, smell, taste, and touch anything you "sense" before entering your conscious mind they all go through your subconscious mind, and guess what? Your subconscious has filters, everything that makes it into your conscious mind has been filtered. If a substantial amount of information is missing "small amounts are missing all the time" those spots are filled by the pre-cognition part of the mind- it uses facts, what is known mixed with imagination to fill the parts of the thought in your brain. In other words the storyline having him block her out completely is possible and could happen, the bosses experience on the horse total fiction and overkill though not blameless the overwhelming majority of blame lies upon the cheating wife.

Cause you know, that's what you do to the one you love most.

Well written, and a very original story. The only problem I see, is that it is screaming for another chapter. But I'm not a writer. If you could add to it, well, I'd be first in line to read it. 5 stars from me. Thank you. S. F.

It's hard to say if Audra would throw it in her next husbands face and go cheat close by again. Maybe she would and maybe she wouldn't.

Not bad but I felt you got tired of writing and write rather than wrapping it up nicely. The laser thing was a bit obvious.... Would have liked better closure although the guy clearly got burned... Literally.

Fantasy so I'll overlook the idea he doesn't see or hear her, and gets to keep his defense job despite such a psychosis....

The only thing that really saved the story was the novelty of the condition. Otherwise, I'm soooo sick of these stories where all the husband does is run away.

Literally, hundreds upon hundreds of LW stories where all their respective authors could come up with is the husband running away and never dealing with anything. Don't even get me started on the stone husbands, where they simply shut down.

Reading those stories is boring. This story would have been mostly boring if not for the novelty of the condition.

Pretty sure they don't let people with clearly broken heads work at Northrob Grumen. Is that all any writer can come up with for husbands, they're either cowards like this guy and just run off or they come up with some convoluted and crazy tale of how they sued everyone. Some guys in the real world actually have backbones, and will actually stand up for themselves.

Please finish the story. There's nothing like reading a very good story falling off a cliff when it does tie up all the storylines.

Great story. A little confused with the ending, but I guess the MC had something to do with scumbag boss getting buck off the horse. Maybe a laser burst from the drone. That's fine, but there's data recording that goes with these flights. That could come back to bite MC. Still I like the justice.

/

I had to laugh at the transfer to another position taking only a week. Government contractors notoriously have slow hiring practices. It's mostly due to them having to follow government rules, regulations and practices. Hell, it takes them a month just to got through applications and grant interviews. Then another month to make an offer. After that, there's time for the transition plan. Current manager usually tries to hold onto his worker as long as he can. Because he knows it's going to take 2-3 months to get a replacement. Not exaggerating. It's brutal.

It's beyond fucked up that a woman would willingly sleep with another man, her boss, knowing that her boss was trying to prove his superiority over her husband. Her boss proved it, he's superior, and Kurt had a mental breakdown and had to run away.

His wife was an evil woman who willingly destroyed her husband. That's a woman to be avoided at all costs

I wish Chest knew it was Kurt who paralyzed him. Chet still thinks he's the superior man for fucking Kurt's wife

With this none ending,this story died a death.

Cliffhanger. You have been warned

Beautiful writing. Thanks for sharing

This needs either a better Epilogue or a part 2!

As to the story, I also don't understand why Audra does not try to help the MC gain his memory, or at least try. She apparently feels so bad, BUT after a quick meet with the doc, she goes back to her old life and then a year later divorces a man who through trauma she causes, doesn't even remember her.??

The most absurd part of this story is NOT that he’s completely blocked her from his mind. No, the ridiculous thing is that none of her coworkers filed a lawsuit. The HR Director committing adultery with the company owner? That’s textbook 3rd Party Harassment, and Hostile Workplace Environment for every other employee. She just negated her objectivity. No one would be able to trust her to be unbiased.

The State of California and the US Government may not give a rat’s ass about her betrayal of her husband. They absolutely will destroy both her and the company owner if even one employee files a complaint!

ZK

Leaves the reader hanging. 3 ***

The author seems to know a bit about animals, BUT, doesn't understand people, medicine, or technology.

Description of the interactions with the horses was remarkably correct, relatable, and believable.

Having an HR DIRECTOR cheat on her husband is just a MASSIVE NO NO. She is a contract employee, THUS, any actions she does on or off the clock reflect on the company, and as an HR DIRECTOR, she would know this intimately. She would also know that as Owner that Chet is also vulnerable, and any actions he does on or off the clock also reflect on the company. Audra would know that her career and Chet's would be forfeit after that. No HR Director would risk their career, let alone their family, for a tryst over a weekend. NOT relatable, or believable. Previous Anon was correct about this issue. Kurt would have cause for all sorts of lawsuits, especially when the HR Director was DIRECTLY involved. Not even going go into the shit storm the State of California would have over this issue. It would be a BIG shit storm. Yes, the Federal government would also be involved.

The "Selective Amnesia" diagnosis is WRONG. Description of Kurt's diagnosis would my more correct as Systematized Amnesia. Apples and Oranges. With Systematized Amnesia, it IS possible to forget all interactions with a certain person. However, this tends to only last a few hours, days, or at most a few weeks. Having it for over a year is not realistic.

Lasers. Let's talk lasers. Lasers take POWER. LOTS OF POWER. Power sources are HEAVY. That's why the U.S. Air Force had a Boeing 747-400 (Called YAL-1) aircraft for 1 self contained laser system. There is no technology available today, or even likely in the near future to fit a fully self contained laser system in a drone. All references to that are DEFINITELY NOT believable.

To the Anon, that felt it needed a part 2, she tried, but it wasn't working, he has removed everything about her from her mind. She waited a year, but still kept in contact with the doctor, who informed her that there was no progress and she needed to go back to work, so she cannot stay there anyways. She needs her job, so she is stuck there, probably why no one reported it, she needs her own sympathy is probably what they are thinking, her coworkers, but the lesson was learned for Chet, he ain't going to be going after anyone any time soon.

Anonymous, about one month ago; you do realize this a fiction, no? It only exists in the author's universe, where as the famous SaddleTramp has said, "Anything can happen". This is a straight up LW trope story with a clever karmic twist at the end. Thank you to the author for sharing.

So many commentators don't understand f i c t i o n. Five stars all the way although I was wrong about the ending. Well done! I found it a well plotted and written work.

Karma is a real bitch and Chet learned that lesson the hard way.

Very different very spooky BUT in some ways I love it (jaybee186)

Couldn't get past an HR Director having a one time adulterous fling with her boss. That is some really hyperbolic nonsense. Heck the boss would be hypersensitive about a sexual harassment suit in the current era. Kind of hard to get past that mess.

What a whore

A lot of the tale was ok , just these quirky parts. I do have to agree with the MC, while born in California I wouldn't care to live there(grew up in the Midwest ). I've lived other places and enjoyed them though. Thanks for the tale.

somewhere east of Omaha

Nothing hurts a selfish person more than being forgotten. As much as people are wanting more pain for her, it's not the same.

Normal people can handle being forgotten. Even if somewhat painful. But a narcissistic person like her? It's torture to be completely erased.

Feels like the story needs an ending. Can only give Three stars to a an unfinished story.

Okay until the very odd ending

No, I can’t get into it. So, he forgot her, sure, but selective amnesia does not ever include invisibility. Story should have been entered in science fiction.

Old Chet got his in the end. This was a good, if very strange, story.

Got the feeling that the story is somehow not complete!