Thoughts on Suzanna Ch. 01

So when Vincent was about two and a half, Justine and I decided it was time to get started on baby number two.

At this point Justine was even heavier than she had been the first time we had tried to get pregnant. Once again, I replayed in my head, scenes from recently viewed adult films. However, no matter how much I tried to envision images of various porn stars, one image dominated my thoughts ... Suzanna.

Suzanna, with her mane of wavy dark hair and her chocolate brown eyes. Her bronze skin, long legs and firm breasts. I imagined what it would've been like to slip the straps of her sundress down off of her shoulders, that night by the Saar River. I pondered over the things we would have done to each other had we gone back to her hotel room. I envisioned slowly pulling her dress down off of her curvy hourglass figure. I pictured what it would have looked like as her nipples came into view. I dreamily contemplated how it would be to lie between those long legs. And I tried to conjure up what it must feel like to have my member enveloped by her wet sheath.

As I felt my balls tighten and I ejaculated into my wife, I tried to imagine what Suzanna's face might look like when she was overcome by erotic ecstasy. What sorts of sounds did she make? Did she cry out? Did she moan? Did she whine?

I hoped that the sperm I had just spurted out was enough to get Justine pregnant with our second child.

Roughly nine months later, Michelle was born. And I really was truly happy. There is no greater love than the unconditional love that's between a parent and child. It's true that my marriage was completely devoid of romance. But that just meant that Justine and I could focus all of our energy and free time on our children and be the best parents we could be. And we were damned good parents. Sex and romance may have been out the window, but we were great at co-parenting ... most of the time.

But to be honest, there were some things about Justine's parenting that I wasn't thrilled with. Like I said before, she wasn't the best housekeeper. And she didn't always cook as often as she should have. I felt like this was especially lazy taking into account the fact that she no longer worked.

But it wasn't just her cooking and cleaning that were lacking. Being so sedentary, she didn't really play with the kids. She'd take them to the park and tell Vincent to go play on the swings or in the sandbox. She'd park the stroller with Michelle next to a bench. Then Justine would sit down, take out her smartphone and spend the entire time on social media. She'd post photos of our kids and then compare them with the photos of her friends' kids. She would swap parenting anecdotes with other mothers. She was always on the internet. It was an addiction. It irritated me and I let her know it. But she couldn't stop.

Roughly five years passed with Suzanna and I not seeing one another. We'd wish each other Happy Birthday on Facebook and occasionally like or comment on each other's photos. But that was about the extent of our contact. We never once discussed or even mentioned what had happened that night in Saarbrucken by the river.

Then one day I was scrolling through my Facebook news feed. (Yes I realize I am a hypocrite for criticizing my wife for the same behavior. But I do make an effort to limit my screen time.) And that's when I saw it. The photo of Suzanna in the orange bridesmaid dress. The garish color would have been a disaster on most people. But for some reason, on Suzanna, it complimented her complexion. Her olive skin looked radiant. And it looked like she'd lost weight. Don't get me wrong, she wasn't skinny by any means. She just looked really fit and toned. She'd obviously been hitting the gym. And whatever she'd been doing had clearly paid off. She was in great shape. At thirty-five, she looked better than she had in her twenties. And I should know; I've known Suzanna since she was an eighteen-year-old college freshman.

As I scrolled through her photos, I learned that she was in Joliet for her cousin's wedding. She was actually in Illinois just about an hour outside of Chicago. Why had she not contacted me to let me know she was in town, I wondered.

I sent a message to Chris and Emily. They were a married couple and mutual friends who'd been on the debate team back in college. A number of years ago they had moved away from Chicago to Sterling where they both worked as lawyers. They lived in a big beautiful house out in the suburbs. They had two kids who were actually pretty close in age to my own little rugrats. I asked them if they knew about Suzanna's visit. Emily messaged back and told me that Suzanna had actually made plans to stay at their place in Sterling for a few days. I asked Emily when Suzanna planned on arriving at their house. She told me that they expected Suzanna the day after tomorrow.

I frantically looked at my work schedule. I sometimes had to see clients in Sterling every now and then. But with such short notice, I wasn't sure if I could set up a business meeting in time. And it had to be something work-related. I needed a legitimate excuse that would justify me traveling to Sterling without my wife and kids. If I went all the way to Sterling just to see Suzanna, Justine might insist on coming along with Vincent and Michelle. No, it had to be a business trip.

I made a few quick phone calls to some of my clients in the Sterling area. Either by the power of persuasion or simply by sheer luck, I had somehow managed to set up not one, but two meetings. One on the afternoon that Suzanna was due to arrive in Sterling. And the other meeting was scheduled for the morning after that. This was a key detail. It meant that I would have to stay overnight in Sterling instead of driving back to Chicago right away. And since Chris and Emily owned such a large house, there wasn't any sense in me staying at a hotel. I may as well stay over at their place.

I messaged Emily and Chris to let them know that I wanted to come over for dinner and spend the night the same day that Suzanna was due to arrive. They eagerly agreed, saying it would be great to get the gang back together again. (Or at least part of the gang.)

When I informed Justine that I needed to travel to Sterling for work the day after tomorrow, she simply shrugged and said that she hoped everything would go smoothly. I mentioned that I planned on staying overnight at Chris and Emily's place. I silently prayed that she wouldn't get any bright ideas about coming along and bringing the kids.

Now I know what some of you are thinking. Why even tell Justine that I planned on staying with Chris and Emily? Why not just lie and say that I'm staying at a hotel? You know, make it sound like it's purely a business trip with absolutely no social elements.

But the thing is, these days with social media, you can't really hide anything anymore. Justine is friends with Emily and Chris on Facebook and Instagram. Our kids play together sometimes. Occasionally we go to their place for barbecues and parties. I mean, I COULD visit them and Suzanna and not mention it to my wife. But knowing my luck, Chris would post a photo of all of us on his timeline. Or Emily would mention my visit to Justine in a text message. And then Justine would be suspicious for sure.

No, I needed to be as factual as possible without being a hundred percent honest. The best place to hide a lie is between two truths.

But surprisingly, Justine seemed to be fine with me going on my own. I suppose she figured that taking a two hour car trip with a six-year-old boy and a three-year-old girl is probably more trouble than it was worth. She just told me to drive safely and to say hello to Emily and Chris for her.

But before she exited the room, my wife cocked her head to the side, raised an eyebrow and said, "Wait a second. Isn't Suzanna in town? I saw photos of her in Joliet at her cousin's wedding on Facebook."

I could feel my heart beat just a little bit faster in my chest. Trying to keep my breath steady and my voice natural sounding, I said, "Oh yeah. I think that might be why Chris and Emily invited me over. You know ... seeing as how my business trip to Sterling coincides with Suzanna's visit. I guess Emily and Chris thought it'd be fun to get us all together."

My wife stared at me. I looked at her face, but I wasn't quite sure how to interpret her expression.

I slowly inhaled. Attempting to sound as sincere as possible, I said, "Why? Do you want to join?" As we held each other's gaze, I could feel my blood pressure rise. I held my breath as my palms began to sweat.

"No," she finally said after what felt like an eternity. "Vincent has soccer practice the same afternoon that you're scheduled to go to Sterling. And Michelle has a doctor's appointment the day after that."

"Oh," I sighed in relief. "That's too bad." I hoped I seemed genuine.

"But make sure that you invite Suzanna over to our place while she's still in Illinois. It'd be nice to see her before she flies back to Germany," Justine said.

"Yeah, of course I will," I assured my wife. "I don't know what Suzanna's schedule is like while she's in town. But I'll definitely invite her over."

"Good," Justine nodded, appearing to be satisfied.

As she made her way toward the door of my home office, she stopped suddenly and turned around to face me. She looked at me with what seemed like a penetrating gaze. I could feel my heart skip a beat. Then she said, "We're getting pizza for dinner tonight. Let me know what toppings you want before I place the order."

"Uh ... I'm okay with anything. Order whatever you want," I said relieved, turning back to my computer.

"I'll order plain cheese for the kids and meat-lovers for us," she said as she exited the room.

When I was sure that Justine had descended all the way back down to the first floor, I quietly shut and locked the door of my home office. I sat back down at my desk, opened up a web browser and went to Suzanna's Facebook timeline. That lustrous black hair. That fitted red-orange dress. Those long tanned legs. I unzipped my pants, took out my dick and began to stroke myself. I was already hard, even before I touched my cock. I tried to imagine what might happen the day after tomorrow.

Suddenly I heard on the door, "BANG BANG BANG!"

"Daddy, what are you doing in there? I need help! My iPad's not working. I can't download the new Spider-man game!"

Frustrated, I zipped my pants back up. "Just a second, Vincent," I shouted from my desk. "Daddy will be right there!"

I reluctantly logged off of Facebook and Suzanna's image disappeared from the screen. Be patient, I silently said to myself. I tried to find consolation in the idea that, if I played my cards right, I might just get to experience the real thing. And not just a masturbatory fantasy.

The day that I was scheduled to drive to Sterling, I left work around noon. As I got into my car, I called Justine and asked her if there was anything that she needed me to do before I left Chicago. She said she couldn't think of anything, so I started my car and headed toward the highway.

My business meeting that afternoon went reasonably smoothly, though I couldn't wait for it to end. The client, an older man in his sixties, was named Bill Kelly. As our appointment concluded, Bill said to me, "Usually you boys over there in the Chicago office give us a little more notice before you schedule a meeting. What's the emergency?"

"Oh, nothing," I replied, trying to sound casual. "It's just how my schedule worked out. I have some other things that I need to do here in Sterling. So I figured, why not kill two birds with one stone?"

"Is that so?" Bill said with a raise of his brows. "Well, I hope your other business here goes well."

"Thanks, Bill. So do I," I replied as we shook hands. After we said our good-byes, I practically ran to my car.

I quickly called Emily and asked her what I could bring to dinner that evening. "I don't know. Maybe a bottle of wine?" she suggested.

I took a deep breath. "Is Suzanna there already? Does she want anything in particular?" I asked, hoping that I didn't sound too nervous or over eager.

"Yeah," Emily said. Then I could here her say to someone, "Suzie, Sam wants to know if you want him to bring anything. I told him wine. What to you want?"

I could just barely make out a distant voice on the other end of the line say, "Sure, wine sounds good. Maybe red."

"Did you hear that Sam?" Emily asked.

"Yeah, I'm on it!" I said. I hung up and began to drive to the nearest liquor store.

As I approached the front door of Emily and Chris' house, I had my overnight bag slung over my right shoulder. A paper shopping bag containing three bottles of wine was supported precariously in the crook of my left arm. But the liquor store had not been my only stop on the drive over. I had also stopped off at a drug store. I made sure that I had several condoms stashed away in one of the zippered pockets of my overnight bag.

As I rang the door bell, I could hear one of Chris and Emily's young children begin hollering, "Mommy! Someone's at the door!"

As the door opened, I was greeted by Emily's smiling face. "Sam, it's so good to see you. Come on in." She held the door for me as I entered into the foyer. She took the paper bag from me and looked inside. "Three bottles," she said in surprise. "Wow, Sam! You have quite the evening planned for us, don't you?"

"Well, I wasn't sure who else might be joining," I lied.

"I'm afraid it's just Chris, me and the kids," she said.

I could feel my breath catch in my throat. What about Suzanna? Suzanna was supposed to be there! Did I get the day wrong? Wasn't she just there earlier when I had called? What had happened? Did Suzanna leave when she found out that I was coming?

"And Suzanna, of course," Emily quickly added. "After all, that's the whole reason for your visit, right?"

"Well, that. And I have some business here in Sterling," I mumbled, relieved that Suzanna was still there.

"Of course," Emily said, not seeming to notice my strange demeanor. "I'm just going to put the wine in the dining room. Suzanna's been nice enough to help me with dinner. She's just in the kitchen right now cutting vegetables. Why don't you go on in and say hello?" she cheerfully suggested.

"Yeah, sure." Did I sound relaxed? Did I sound natural? Or I did I sound like a giddy school boy?

As Emily walked toward the dining room, I caught a glimpse of myself in the hall mirror. I quickly ran my fingers through my hair. Then I smoothed down the front of my shirt. I was certainly no Hugh Jackman. But I looked alright, I decided with mild approval, trying to give myself a last minute pep talk.

I straightened my posture, pulled my shoulders back and took a deep breath. I tried my best to look confident. I then headed toward the kitchen. Toward Suzanna. Toward the woman who I couldn't stop fantasizing about. Toward whatever it was that the evening might hold in store.