Threading the Needle Ch. 04

With Rikki's help, Winnie quickly finished with the tent. As she threw it in the back of the SUV, Liz pulled out with the van and trailer. Indigo gave Winnie a little wave and a smile as they drove past. Winnie turned red and didn't wave back. "Getting caught watching them is going to make things a little awkward," she thought. "Although, it doesn't seem to be bothering Indigo. I guess it only has to, if I let it." She was still chewing on that thought as she got in alongside Rikki. She picked up the bowl of granola that Rikki left her and nibbled on it as she looked out the window lost in thought.

By the time she got to the put-in, Winnie knew what she would do. Since Indigo and Liz were fine with making love where others could watch, she wouldn't let it bother her that she watched. She couldn't pretend it didn't happen, but it was just a moment in time. "It didn't mean anything," she thought. Her own reactions to it were a different matter, as were her thoughts about Lena. "And Rikki," she had to admit to herself. She was not ready to examine any of that now.

Fortunately, there was a lot to do with getting ready for the float and Winnie threw herself into working on outfitting the rafts. Unlike past days, the drivers left for the takeout as soon as people were changed and everything was out of the van. That left the passengers to get the rafts ready. It meant everything would go quicker. Indigo was the only trainer there, as once again Bear would shuttle all the drivers back up.

They were done well before Bear got back. It was easily a 40-minute drive down to the takeout and back. Surprisingly, the partially blue skies were back and a little sun shone down on them. It was nice to lie in the tubes of the rafts and warm up. Their wetsuits were all cold and still somewhat wet from the day before.

Winnie tried to absorb as much of the sunshine as she could. Her eyes were closed and it felt a little lazy. It was easy to begin to drift off. When someone else laid back on the tube next to her, Winnie's eyes snapped open. The movement of the boat suddenly chased away her drowsiness. She looked over and saw that it was Julie.

"Hey," Winnie said.

Julie looked over at her. Her eyes squinted from the sun that seemed brighter than it really was. "Hey yourself," she said in a friendly tone. For a few moments, she was quiet, and then she spoke. Her voice was soft enough that it didn't carry far.

"That was kind of weird last night, wasn't it?" Julie said. The look she gave Winnie made it clear to what she was referring.

"I don't know about weird, but unexpected," Winnie said. The bright sunlight hid the little blush in her cheeks almost as much as her natural tan did. Her voice was noncommittal. She didn't want to share any of her feelings about it with Julie.

"I just don't know why they couldn't go to a tent," Julie said, her voice taking on a slightly whiny tone. "It made my skin crawl. I had to leave." Winnie was quiet. Julie turned her head and looked over at her again. "Don't get me wrong. I have no problem with someone being gay. I just don't want to watch them makeout."

Since she knew that Julie had left while they were still just kissing, Winnie could feel her irritation rising. "Fucking homophobe," she thought to herself. "I'll just bet you don't have a problem with it." As Julie continued to talk, Winnie realized why she was so irritated. "She thinks I'm on her side," Winnie thought.

"You were getting pretty frisky with someone too," Winnie said interrupting Julie. "Was it with Jasper? And you were out in the open too."

"That's different. That's n...." Julie bit off what she was about to say.

"Normal? It's okay if it is a guy and girl but not if it is two girls or two guys? I don't agree with you there. It's just different for me because I haven't seen two women together much, but I don't have any issue with it, Julie," Winnie said, her voice slowly rising in volume.

"Okay, okay. I get it," Julie said, trying to calm down Winnie. Whatever her true thoughts, she did not want Indigo to hear. It could only backfire on her. As Winnie lapsed into silence, Julie sat up and then stood. "Sorry I brought it up," she said before she walked away.

It took a little while for Winnie's irritation to fade away. "I just hope that I'm not in her boat today," she thought. Just as she began to recapture the drowsy feeling from before, she heard Bear pull into the parking lot. Opening one eye, she looked over and watched as everyone piled out of his SUV. It was not until they were almost to the raft that she gave up and stood.

Winnie watched as Rikki approached one of the rafts and stuck her gear in it. It was Bear's raft. Winnie went over to it at the same time that Lena joined them. Liz walked around and watched as the rafting crews organically came together. She told a couple of the guys to switch rafts. She came over to where the three women were standing.

"Lena, switch with Sawyer. You're in my raft," Liz said.

"Hold on a second, Lena," Rikki said and then moved over to Liz. She looked in Liz's eyes. "I want you to let Lena stay with me. I'm trying to help her, and I think she will be more relaxed if she isn't with you today." Rikki continued to look calmly at her friend.

Liz felt a little irritation come over her. She was not used to anyone challenging her authority, especially a trainee. She wanted Lena in her raft for a reason. She was doing the worst of any of the trainees. She met Rikki's deep brown eyes. They were staring at her without blinking. Even now, she felt the same little gut wrench as usual. "Fuck," she thought to herself. "When Rikki wants something, I can't say no," she admitted to herself. Liz looked away, and sought out Winnie.

"Fine. Winnie, switch with Sawyer," Liz said. She turned and walked over to her own boat.

Bear leaned close to Rikki. "Wow," he whispered. "I want some of your superpower. I've never seen her back down before."

Rikki turned and smiled at the big guy. "She realized that I'm right. Having Lena under her eye isn't going to help Lena at all," she replied. "You know that too."

"Sure, but I'm not going to argue in public with Liz over it," Bear said. "I like my head." His smile got broad. "Both of them, actually," he said with a chuckle and a wiggle of his eyebrows.

By now, Rikki knew Bear well enough not to be surprised by his teasing. She gave him a smile of her own. "Maybe I am braver because I only have one head to worry about," she said.

Rikki made Bear really laugh. "Maybe," he said between laughs. "Maybe it is. Okay, gang. Grab ahold and let's get this baby down to the river," he said in an abrupt shift to business mode. Everyone was just as used to that as his bawdy sense of humor.

Winnie watched as Bear's group trudged down to the river with the raft. Despite trying not to, she felt a little hurt. It was the first time that she was not in Rikki's boat. "And she is the one who kicked me out," she thought to herself. As much as she understood what Rikki was doing to help Lena, it stung a little. So far, rafting was this great bonding time with Rikki. "That's one of the best things about it," she thought, unable to keep a little pout off her lips.

As soon as both Indigo and Bear moved their boats out of the way, Liz's crew followed them down with their own boat. Just like the start of every trip, each person in the raft went through their safety lecture. By now it was starting to be easy, except for Lena. For some reason, she had been stumbling through hers.

Not today.

When Lena finished hers, her boat gave a huge cheer. Bear gave her a big high five. Winnie watched as Rikki gave Lena a hug. Although part of her was still envious, Winnie couldn't help smiling. She liked Lena. "Maybe Rikki is a good luck charm for her," Winnie thought. She looked over at Liz. She had an impassive expression as she looked at Bear's boat while listening to Bohdi give his lecture. "More likely, it's just being away from Liz," Winnie thought. While she liked Liz and admired her skills, there was no denying that she could be intimidating. Unlike Bear and Indigo, she sometimes reacted to mistakes with a yell or a biting comment.

Winnie looked back at Lena for a moment. "Some people work better with encouragement. Lena is one," she said to herself. The last little bit of envy disappeared. "I wish I could be with them, but maybe it's for the best. Plus I guess it's good for me to guide without Rikki as my crutch too." She smiled as another thought occurred to her. "At least, I'm not with Julie." She chuckled at the thought of Julie guiding for Indigo.

Just like with the safety lecture, things went well for Lena. Whether Rikki really was her lucky charm or just getting a break from Liz, she managed to put her raft exactly where she wanted it the entire time she guided. There weren't many waves to ride at this water level, but she nailed exactly where to be when they showed up with the snowmelt. Lena's confidence was back by the time they got off the river.

Everyone spent more time in the water today than ever before. With the warmth and slow water, it was the perfect day to practice recovering from flips. Each boat flipped five times with the trainers demonstrating how to flip a boat back over first. When one of them did it right, turning the raft back over was easy. The first few people struggled a bit with getting the right leverage and their paddlers floated for a fairly long time.

Lena listened to Bear and watched as the bigger guys who volunteered to go first had difficulty. When Bear asked for a second volunteer, she quickly raised her hand. Rikki gave her an approving smile. She liked the confident side of Lena.

Bear told everyone to get on the same side of the raft. They all grabbed onto the strap that went across the thwarts in the middle of the raft. With all of them pulling, the raft easily flipped over.

Even as she was falling into the water, Lena reached for the line around the raft. Lifting up as far as she could out of the water, Lena grabbed the flip line. It was a tight strap across the bottom. Using it for leverage, Lena quickly scrambled up onto the bottom of the upside down raft. Unclipping one side of the strap, Lena held it tight and stood in the middle of the raft. Bracing herself, she leaned back. Even with not weighing that much, she accurately judged her leverage. The raft started to come up, going faster as she pulled in the slack.

Looking over her shoulder, she saw that Sawyer was right behind her. "Move," she yelled at him but she didn't stop. As the raft turned back over, she kicked with her feet to push it away from her and also to hopefully avoid hitting Sawyer. Never letting go of the flip line, she reeled it in while in midair. Right next to the raft as she hit the water, she reached up and pulled herself into the raft. Looking around, she saw that Sawyer narrowly avoided being hit on the head with the raft. He was still close to the raft and she managed to grab him by his life jacket. Pushing him down a little, she heaved him into the raft. One by one, she pulled everybody back into the raft. She left Bear for last. Bigger by far than everyone else, she thought she might need help.

"You can do this, Lena," Bear said as he bobbed alongside the raft. "Just get your leverage."

Lena nodded and grasped his jacket. Once, twice, three times, she pushed him up and down. Each time, he bobbed back up a little higher. On the third time, she pulled with all her might and fell backwards into the boat. Bear slid up and over the side of the raft, ending up landing on top of her. Fortunately, he managed to get one hand down and avoid crushing her. He had a big smile on his face.

"Nicely done," Bear said as he rolled off and sat up.

As soon as she was freed, Lena got up and back into position as guide. She looked around and smiled. Not only was she the first one to get everyone back in, Bohdi still hadn't flipped his boat. Feeling someone looking at her, she glanced over and saw Rikki beaming at her. Raising her hand, Rikki gave her a little high five and then leaned close.

"Way to show the boys up," Rikki whispered in her ear. As they parted, Rikki noticed the way Lena's eyes sparkled when she was happy. "That's a much nicer look for her than feeling down," Rikki thought.

The smile on Lena's face was there the rest of the trip. It got even bigger when Liz praised her in front of the entire group as having done the best job in flipping boats. Despite blushing from the unaccustomed praise, it still felt very nice.

As Lena finished getting dressed, Liz walked over. "Good job today, Lena, and not just on the flipping. You did much better overall. It looked like you are really getting the feel for the river," she said.

Once again, Lena felt her cheeks blush a little. This time, it was accompanied by her stomach clenching. "Thanks," she said. "Rikki helped me to see what I was doing wrong. And Bear is always supportive, which helped."

Liz looked over where Rikki was joking with Bear. Even though Lena didn't mean it as a reproach, it felt a little like that. She grimaced. "I can learn a thing or two from both of them, I guess." She looked back at Lena.

"That wasn't what I meant. It just worked for me today," Lena said softly. She looked Liz in the eyes. "Sometimes, I am trying too hard to impress you. It distracts me, and then I get distracted more when I think I let you down. It was easier today when I just focused on the river."

"You don't need to impress me," Liz started to say.

Lena interrupted her. "You know what I mean," she said.

Liz looked at her. "Right now, it's my job to turn you into a raft guide. That's my focus." She gave Lena a little smile. "With you, I haven't been doing a very good job. I'll try to do better. Anyhow, great job today. Keep it up." She turned and walked away.

Lena watched her as she went back to the van beside Indigo, but there were no signs of the affection the two of them showed the previous night. They just worked on getting the van ready to head back to Seattle. Lena sighed. "She's hard to figure out; that's for fucking sure," she thought. "If she is still interested, she hides it pretty well." As far as Lena could tell, Liz had dismissed her from her thoughts. She didn't glance in her direction again. Sighing again, she finished putting away the last bits of her own gear before getting into her car and driving off. Her mind was so full of thoughts about Liz that she even forgot to say goodbye to anyone, including Rikki and Winnie.

Rikki heard Lena's car pull out and turned to look. She waved but clearly Lena's mind was elsewhere. Rikki glanced over at Liz who didn't pay the slightest attention to Lena's departure. "God, you can be such a bitch sometimes," she thought with a little spark of anger. She looked back at the taillights of Lena's car. "Well, maybe there is a bright side. Maybe Elizabeth's little games will make Lena see what she's like." Once again, Rikki thought about how she would never want a friend of hers to date her best friend.

"I love you, Elizabeth, but you aren't good for anyone," Rikki thought sadly.