Three Boys, One Crush Pt. 01

This made me finally sit up. I took a deep breath.

"So that might be true, sure. Maybe I'm part of the problem too, since I only trust the people I already trust, and I only want to talk to people who have been there. That doesn't explain M's interest, or if accurate, his friends'."

"Well... okay so I heard you left the room after panicking. True or false?" Lotte asked carefully.

"True," I admitted. "I made a pathetic excuse about going to the library to return my book and instead borrowed another one." This, while flailing my hand at said books.

"To warn you, the entire class heard, of course. After you left, apparently Mickey and his friends just came out with it and told everyone they- as in all three of them- were interested. They basically outed themselves as 'pervs' today in the name of going out with you. Their entire reputations have changed in an instant. Now they're being called 'sex freaks' and 'queers' all over the school by everyone."

I couldn't help gasping. A tingle shot up my spine and made me shiver in my seat. My insides started to boil in the most delicious way as the ramifications of three men dating me sunk in. I was a virgin in most ways and one of the horniest bitches in the school, or so I believed. Yet no one knew, and I hadn't planned on letting that secret out to anyone besides the people closest to me.

"Well fuck, I didn't want them to wind up targeted by slander and bullying," I muttered to answer the second half of that revelation. "But they threw themselves on that bullet for me?"

My head was spinning and I had to slump backwards in my seat.

"Tell me the truth, Janey," Lotte started, her voice cool and even. "Forget any of the stuff that's keeping you from believing somebody asked you out. If this were an ideal world, how would having the attention of three guys make you feel?"

"Um, wow," I instantly reacted, feeling levels of combustion below the belt that shocked me, even knowing what I knew of my own sexual desires. "Three guys? Three guys? All of them really fucking attractive in their own ways?" Beautiful, egregiously romantic M. The wiry, scruffy but bold guy, and the big, overwhelming one with hidden passion behind his stare... I squirmed in my seat, uncomfortably aroused and creamy.

Yikes, not a great place for this right now. No one goddamn knew how much I looked around and yearned for a touch, for a kiss- for the knowledge of what a cock felt like. No. One. Knew. Even the guys I'd dated, well... none of them had gotten to show me. I wasn't ready. I especially wasn't ready to come out with the crazy shit in my head regarding sex and how I wanted it.

"So you are interested," my friend laughed at me, elbowing me affectionately. "You just don't want to let yourself want them."

"Yeah, that's depressingly accurate," I admitted on a sigh. "But hey, it's nice to have the option, I guess? I don't think I can go through with it. The question becomes how do I let them down gently."

"Or," she posited, good-naturedly teasing me. "You could just try it."

"God I couldn't!" I protested, waving both hands in front of my face. "If everyone's already calling them nasty shit, then I can't be the girl they wasted their reputations on. Plus, if I took them on, wouldn't I then turn into the senior class slut? It's a no-win situation." Not that being labeled a 'slut' would bother me all that much. In fact, just saying the word made me... burn.

"A slut, maybe," Lotte huffed with a sharp sardonic edge. "But the senior class slut? You'd have a lot of time to make up." She snorted. "Babe, you gotta cut loose and live a little. Stop letting the past hold you back. You won't know if you don't try, and if there is something up? I will personally help you get back at them. The entire club will too, and you know it."

I relaxed at last. At least, she was right there.

"I suppose I can at least talk to them," I begrudgingly acknowledged. "At least hear their side of it, clear it up. Maybe they're serious. It's just so sudden, and I'm having trouble buying it."

"I'll give you that," Lotte soothed. "But to be honest I think only someone who didn't know you well or know of you would have approached you like this. A lot of the guys are kind of scared to ask you out, Jane. You don't take shit from them, and word got around about it."

Something I had going for me, at least. People had finally stopped openly tormenting me, and I knew it was because I had incidents over the last three years. People who pushed me too far over the edge, prompting an explosive reaction. I never went off on anyone who didn't deserve it, but God help the jackass who did push me too far. There was that film class last year, and that bus incident. There was ninth grade science class and that one guy who left me alone, finally, after I showed him the post-mortuary photograph of Mary Jane Kelly, the most mutilated victim of notorious serial killer Jack the Ripper.

To this day I still had no idea why the library had that one available for check out, but it sure had been an effective weapon that day.

Asshole wanted to show me how shitty he was on the inside, especially after he'd stolen and destroyed something precious of mine? I showed him a little of the crazy in me.

"You're right there, Lotte," I said quietly in return. "I don't take shit anymore. I just wanted to be liked, and took the abuse for years. Now I don't, and apparently, people like me for it. Gee, isn't it ironic, don't you think?"

She and I remained chatting together quietly for the rest of that study hall, and parted for sixth period when the bell rang. I headed off to gym class, hitting the locker room to get changed into my baggy, non-descript tee and soft pants with sneakers. I threw my hair in a tail and marched out to the gym. Didn't know anyone in this class, and was only passingly friendly with anyone for the purpose of participation only.

Everyone was lining up, waiting to get started, and today I felt slightly unnerved walking to my spot. Something felt... different. Looking around, it took me a minute of scanning before I realized.

The big guy. He was here. Had to have been here all along, and I never knew, because I hadn't taken any time to notice who was in this class. Immediately I wanted to beeline to the exit, not quite ready to face him or his friends. I did not know what was true in all the rumors, but I did gain some information right then and there. Once I entered the gym and he took notice, he took notice. Unfolding from a bent, impatient posture, he stood to his full height. I saw exactly how big the dude actually was for the first time- towering above everyone in the class, including the instructor. His hair was short but not buzzed, some dirty blond fringe falling over his brow. His arms looked muscular, but he was barrel-chested and thick in the torso, wearing a snug-fitting tee shirt and long, comfortable shorts that looked like cutoff sweats(?).

I gulped. My body... reacted, and I stood there rooted. Unable to shake some innate inevitability. He took a step, then another, and soon was on his way toward me. My legs trembled, knees like jelly, but I could not retreat. It was like he'd hypnotized me and was approaching to lay...

My panties flooded and I dropped my eyes seconds before he stood looming over me, totally unaware of what had just happened. I felt my nipples tingle and then tighten, which only embarrassed me further, and I unthinkingly reached up to cover them with one arm. Then I was just standing there like a dorky virgin cupping my own boob, hiding them both from sight.

"Jane," his deep throaty voice quietly boomed over me. "What an absolute pleasure to see you here. To think, you were under my nose the whole damn time." His lip curled, and his smile lit up with this hunger. I don't think he even realized it, but it fried my brain to the stem. "I'm Calvin. Mickey's friend. You can call me Cal." He stuck out his hand. Calvin, huh? That's funny, considering how much I love Calvin & Hobbes.

In a trance- fixed on his size, his raw magnetism, and his smile- I lifted my hand slowly, eventually placing my palm in his like it wasn't even part of my body.

"Um. Hi." What the hell did I even say here? I was shivering, could feel myself shivering. "I hope your friend isn't too upset with me," I wound up muttering, fidgeting where I stood, shaking his hand for way too long and unable to look him in the face. Must act somewhat normal. "Just... it's... guys don't ask me out." It came out in a breathy rush.

"Because you're a freak?" He queried gently, hinting that it's not how he saw me. I flushed red again.

"Um. Yeah. I am a freak. I've always been a freak. Total social outcast since elementary school, so I'm a little gun-shy."

"I get it, Jane," he told me seriously, clutching my hand and squeezing it instead of dropping it. I couldn't help looking up, and he cupped my cheek. Trying to... make me feel better? Soothe me? It twisted me further into knots. "You know that most people are at least a little scared of me, don't you?" I gaped.

"No... no, I had no idea," I said, feeling sympathy creep up on me.

"It's because I'm huge, I'm strong, and I block people out. Like you." The words hit and staggered me.

"I block people out?" But I knew that. It was just shocking to hear it so bluntly phrased, and Cal actually knocked my guard back a little. "I do, don't I? I tried to block M out immediately this morning. I- I try to nudge people away from me in our grade."

"You don't trust them," he nodded. "Look, I don't know exactly what happened to you, but my bros and I have seen all this before. Randy- that's our short guy little bro- and I have both been subjected to a lot of shit. We're from a different district and middle school, so we didn't know the history this morning. We just liked your outfit, and M really is a sucker for a girl who reads."

Well, he earned a chuckle from me.

"Then I guess that's a valid reason for being attracted to me," I shyly told him, smiling despite myself. "No one reads like I do."

"You don't fear me, do you, Jane?" He asked, bringing me back to awe.

"No... why?" Genuinely confused. Why would I fear him? Just because he was big?

"But you looked terrified of M this morning," he tacked on, ignoring my question. I raised an eyebrow. Bit of an agenda maybe?

"I wasn't terrified of him, per se, I was terrified of the social consequences of interacting with him. Like I'd immediately get all the backlash of being seen with someone so laughably out of my league." Cal gripped his chin, studying me as I spoke, and he seemed really to be processing my answer. It didn't make me want him any less, and I actually was afraid to let him know how much I did- in fact- want him. As though I were a feral animal. Something about him just struck a chord.

"Ah, that makes perfect sense. You're so far outside social acceptance- as you see it- that being with M or taking us up on our interest is a losing game to you."

"Wha- yes," I admitted. "Exactly. But shit, you guys really are... all interested?"

There, he grinned.

"Oh fuck yes, Jane. What you may have heard, about us wanting you? It's true." He blatantly then pointed to my breasts, where I was finally calmed down nipple-wise, and just laid it out there. "And your reaction? Your entire posture right now, blood rushing into your face... You're actually warm to the idea, aren't you?"

It hung there like a deadly dare, that question.

The painful swelling ache in my untested pussy burned so hard and so hot I almost crumpled to the ground.

***

Cal

Oh my God, I saw it. I saw her react to me, and it was a big screaming alarm going off. Not fear. Arousal. Attraction. I knew enough about the signs to recognize it.

She gibbered, sputtering, and before I could press for an answer, there went the whistle. Still red, she ran (just like this morning) and lined up, unable to face me. Begrudgingly I went into my place as well, but I hadn't forgotten the clues on her face and body. Nor did I forget that she'd awakened feelings in me I hadn't experienced before- feelings both my bros had readily described time and again.

I was so glad my underwear kept me secured while my shorts kept me concealed beneath their loose fit, because for the first time ever I had a massive hard-on in the middle of class- probably the worst possible class, since I couldn't conceal myself beneath a desk.

I just prayed no one was looking and it would go down shortly.

All through the period, I did my best to stay close to her. Never pushing myself on her, but keeping her safely within my sights. Making sure no one got on her case about this morning, and my approach here in particular. My promise to protect her earlier hadn't been an idle one. It was good to know that the source of her apprehension with M was the potential blowback from our peers, and not him, or us. Because yeah, the "social consequences" were gonna hit.

Everyone was too afraid to call me the nasty things they wanted to my face, but I was already, shall we say, gently dissuading any talk calling my boy a "fag" or "homo". It was insulting not to him or even us. It was insulting to the entire LGBT population in the student body. Randy was mainly catching "pervert", but that went off him like water off a duck's back. I didn't bother squashing that.

It didn't even make sense. Three best friends announced they wanted to share a girlfriend, so they're gay? Ooh, burn. "Pervert" we wouldn't even sweat. It was kind of perverted, what we just told everybody we wanted. One girl, three guys. God, it sounded so crazy... and it wasn't even real to me until today.

It was mostly guys talking the shit anyway, as per usual with the sexist and homophobic mindset of coddled entitled rich white teenage boys. The female population in Smithfield was mostly buzzing about the 'scandal'... Mister Popularity himself coming out as wanting to split a girl with his two best friends. He'd dated dozens of chicks throughout high school, but nothing had lasted and now they all knew why. To actually be with M, you had to want two other guys, both of them incredibly different from the male model they all coveted.

Some of the girls were in outright mourning over him, and there was also a surge of 'volunteers' offering to take Jane's place. Even I'd been approached by girls today, all of them blatantly hitting on me because they thought I was a free ticket into M's company. I turned them all down.

Jane was the only one who had my cock up.

Literally had never happened to me before. Not having a hard-on (I still woke up every morning with wood, and I did get horny enough to jerk off every once in awhile)- but having a girl give me one out of nowhere in the middle of class. Unlike my bros and pretty much every guy I knew, spontaneous erections had never been a problem for me in school.

It was like my body had finally realized I was an 18-year old boy. So this is what it was like. I had a crush. Just like anyone else in high school.

Why did it all seem so much more than that though? Why did I want to take Jane in my arms and seriously snarl at anyone who tried to get near her that I wasn't already comfortable with? What did it mean that her body reacted to me with such intensity that she covered up her nipples so obviously? Fuck, was she wet because of me right then?

As I watched her, she seemed extremely uncomfortable. Constantly wriggling when she wasn't engaged in an activity, and she kept tugging the hem of her oversized tee down. I had absolutely no experience with this, and I didn't really know what it might be like to have a wet pussy in a totally inappropriate place... but I sure knew now what it was like to have a raging boner in a totally inappropriate place.

Shit... what if she was a virgin too? I mean, she probably was, simply considering how introverted she seemed.

Randy and M had both lost theirs, this year. Wanted to be 'tried and tested' in their pleasure skills, they told me. It could be years before we found our 'one' and fulfilled M's dream since puberty, they'd reasoned; what's a few sexual partners while we wait? But that wasn't me. I hadn't had to say it, and they didn't judge. We all knew it though. For some reason... I didn't care about girls or dating. I didn't have a crush, unless you counted football.

It was like I'd missed out 0n a rite of passage until today.

Until I saw this girl metaphorically bite a hand that wanted to feed her. Just like I did when M befriended me in fifth grade, a year before we met Randy. I'd been wary of his approach too- but that was less about my environment in elementary school and much more about my home life, at the time. I saw that pretty face and didn't believe it was meant for me. Jane had the same reaction. It gave us at least a little something in common.

A girl who didn't immediately fawn over M's looks was a green flag to me. She wasn't taken only by appearances, and less likely to base a relationship on how good they would look together. I didn't forget her expression when meeting my eyes, either. Stunned, but somehow affected. There was something there, and we both actually knew it. I just needed the time to find out what.

Gym that afternoon consisted of a simulated "rough terrain" obstacle course, and besides balance, jumping, teamwork and trust exercises, one of the things in it was a rope swing. We had to get from one point to another by sailing across a gap between mats, and then toss the rope back. When it was my turn I tested the rope's strength to make sure it could actually hold me, then jumped and expertly flew across to land easily on the other side. I tossed it back and moved to wait for my next turn, but caught sight of Jane approaching the rope and decided to wait and see how my potential love interest did.

When it was her turn, I saw her fighting not to look at me, first off, and I ignored the whispers that floated up.

"She can't even look at him. It's soooo obvious..."

"That scary dude is gonna eat her alive."

"And she still has to date the other two?"

Despite how obnoxious this was going to be before it cooled down, I acted like nothing else mattered but Jane, which was more or less true. By the time we got to graduation, they all would long have moved on to something else.

Jane's turn to swing came, and she was quite clearly nervous. First she grabbed the rope, testing her grip. She tried to jump with it and go... but her feet came back down almost immediately. Jane couldn't hold her weight on the rope. Trying and failing to stay on, she was getting flustered.

I watched, actually feeling my heart break a little bit for her. Not the athletic type, it seemed. I tried to stifle a grin when it reminded me of Randy, who absolutely hated any PE activity where he had to run, jump, climb, or do push-ups. Trying desperately to avoid as much attention as possible, Jane switched her method. There was a loop on the rope and she stuck her foot through, finally able to launch from one side to the other- until she couldn't get her foot out of the rope and wound up swinging back the other way, her face scarlet.

This scene told me quite a few things about Jane.

She wasn't really doing significantly better or worse than anyone else, and absolutely no one was pressuring her to go or even getting impatient waiting. Everybody was just filing through the course. But she looked miserable, like this event was a disgraceful, massive, humiliating failure. What in the fuck had happened to her?