All Comments on 'Three Broken Lives the Adventure'

always your story starts strong but pitters out in the end with the husbaian giving in

Same story, different day.

Not that it matters, like your cookie cutter characters, you can't handle criticism and I figure you'll delete this comment as fast as you have deleted my last few.

One star as usual.

It was a good day for me to see two stories by writers I like this morning. This story is warm and entertaining. While I would not be so loosely polyamorous , the story, like the mythical music , rocks. My only complaint is, while the temptations are one of my favorite bands , the undisputed truth owns this song.

These people have been hitting the drugs too hard.

Good story!

4

This stupid tranny writer has made an art of stretching things.. every story of the writer ( I think barring two) follow the same line…the same repetitive manner. It has reached such a pathetic state that I start the story…reach the point where she starts stretching the same repeat the same…I go straight to last page and then give the story a 1/2

Nice one CG. Felt real...complicated, just like life... I was always a big Busted Bollix fan...saw them at the Gladstone back in the day......good times.....

You're men are always weak and led around by the nose by women. You drag it out, try to make the men sound or act strong, but in the end you just make everyone of your male characters a wimp for the female. It's just too predictable. I knew on page three Issac would end up submitting to being used by his selfish, self-absorbed wife. Martha was the same way although you made her out to be more mature. I guess you really hate men. Too bad, because you are a pretty good story teller.

I really enjoyed this. Yes, Saffy was trying for it all. Yes, Isaac was kinda being a jealous prat. Yes, Noah was trying to go where he shouldn’t. But the storyline worked. Bringing in Ellery helped sort all that out in a way, however, the ending seemed a little rushed. But given the overall length of the story that was justified.

It was a good story.

KaeYo

wow. congratulations to the authors who are always able to find new reasons to be a wimp

After losing the children, being defeated by justice, losing his money, not having a huge cock........

Here's a new reason: making music.

Unpayable.

Thank you. One of your better ones. I like how you describe music creation.

I feel a bit winded, but very impressed. I labored, fascinated, thru both editions. Your word crafting is A+...still a few word gaffs that escaped your proofing, suggesting that you so a SLOW proofing, mouthing each word. That might show up the little things, like the wrong number of o's in too. Still, that is trivial. I do suggest that when you get on a theme, you do tend to wear it out. I started to hate your narrator for his protracted stubbornness and refusal to relate to his lover or his best bud over one kiss. Even while he was fucking the hell out to the Super Star. Similarly, some of the other relationship themes did get overplayed. If you cut out 10-15% of the repeat word count this would be perfect. Anyway, I am just blathering...I loved it.

Good story. They'll rake you for the extra-marital sex. So what? D

Normally I'm all on the husband's side when the wife is stepping out in him. In this case I was rooting against Isaac. I get being insecure, depressed, etc but, for him to see what was happening and choose to ignore it and say nothing. Then get all self righteous when something did happen.

On page 2 he had two great opportunities to shut it down between Saffron and Noah. When she came out to find him working on the bus and said he was being silly about them not needing him in the studio. If he confronts her with the fact that it took her 3 days to notice he wasn't there ... I think that might have shocked her straight.

When they finished the album and she was kissing him and Noah both open mouthed and with tongue... If he would have made a scene then maybe they stop.

Instead by ignoring everything they did and not saying a word he definitely gave them the idea he was ok with the escalation of their relationship.

As for Saffron and Noah when he busted them making out in the dunes. For two people who supposedly loved Isaac and felt they had this magical relationship... Their focus on he can't leave the tour because of the finances and contracts.. didn't feel any live at all from either of them.

Enjoyed the ride the band went on throughout the story but, letting Saffron and Noah have sex a couple times to "get it if their system" brought my score down. Just not my cup of tea, so to speak.

Must be something in the water in your part of the world. Cheating seems to often have little to no consequences and sometimes even improves the situation. I’m 72 years old and I’ve seen a lot of the human condition. I can recall only one time that cheating in a relationship didn’t cause smoke and fire and areas of destruction and desolation. That one time did have a marriage that endured, but both parties admitted it was never as good as it used to be. Maybe you guys should bottle and sell that water.

Horrible

Oh boy...

You're going to catch shit for the sharing, but you already knew that. But if the readers can go past that, they will see it was a well-crafted story with great characters acting like they might in real life, considering the set-up.

You don't do anything easy. You make the readers think. You make them read; skimming your work would be doing it an injustice. They can dislike the story, but they can't deny the craft.

Hooked

I didn't understand or like it but after all I'm not a musician.

No likable characters in that trio.

I love your writing but I have a few nit picks with this one. The story itself was great but too repetitive. It could probably been 1/2 this length and leave nothing out.

That said, I enjoyed the read. Keep up the good work.

Two stars for the ability to write.

But that's it. The story line was awful. Boring in parts. Your male characters are always weak ass men. Seems like none of them ever have the ability to just open their fucking mouths. They never get angry until after their partner has had an affair of some kind. Then they get this kind of impotent anger...that almost never ends in divorce or permenent break up. It's always reconciliation on the female's terms.

I guess it's a pattern you like. Cause you go with it every single LW story you write.

But this whole poly plot line was just dumb.

And the way you wrote the issue of him having to stay in the tour? Weak.

Yeah..because a nothing band...who has nothing. Who gets zero airtime. And cancels shows weeks...even months ahead of time. Would really be calamitous. And some dipshit lawyer showing up in a parking lot is really going to make a pissed off and jilted husband just settle right down? Uhhh...no...he catches his wife and best friend in betrayal...and instead of just driving away and telling them all to go fuck off? He takes advice from some strange cop who he doesn't even know. And settles right back down into the worst situation imaginable for the next 3 to 4 months? Traveling at close quarters with these two having an affair in front of his face.

Right. That's believable. Hahahahahaha...

But then again you couldn't have the story just end with him driving the bus away. Leaving them stranded. And he goes home. Collects his shit and leaves cross country living in his bus. Writing music. And not giving a fuck what those other two are up to?

Except that's a better ending. Two cheaters left together with nothing else. And he never hears from them again.

Instead we get pages of impotent psuedo angry dialogue. Sullen, painful and awkward. Followed by more cheating and then suddenly acceptance of the polyamourous situation? Sorry. Just did not work for me.

One trick pony

another brilliant addition to the LW section, keep up the great work

I agree with some of the comments about him letting it happen, but then again they were his wife and best friend. In a perfect world he should be able to trust them to know the boundaries. I believe if he had sad something they would have played if off as just playing around and he would have looked like an insecure and jealous husband. All around I believe this was a good story. I personally would have cut ties with Noah as soon as financially possible as I wouldn’t be able to trust him and I don’t think I would have been able to ever fully trust my wife either. It seems that they may not know each other as well as they thought but that could be overcome with time.

When demander and odoreater approve I wont waste my time on 10 pages of cuck shit. If I want gay male crap I'll go read gay male crap.

THis range so fake in so many ways. It was clear early on where your idiocy was going, and I skimmed and saw a divorce but being seeing who you were aiming to please ie the bottom of the nut sack lickers, I didnt even skim that far.

But you cum guzzlers have a blast with this really aiming for washed up writer. Keep it up and you'll rank up there with NakedCraving.

Enjoyed it. Too long though. It's now well past my bedtime, and my wife is asleep.

Why do you hate your male protagonists so much? You always make them talented dudes but who

lack self confidence, are weak minded, indecisive and lose self confidence more and more as the plot develops. Then you always put them in position where their humble wife slowly becomes interested in

a more aggressive guy while the indecisive pro does nothing but question himself as she flirts more and more. half the time you end up turning him gay?? Nice overall plot but please be kind to the guy now and then. Remember most of your readers are men.

I loved it. Well crafted and well written. No, I'm not going to be too pedantic over small editing misses!

I enjoyed the way you finally demonstrated that what had happened re Saffy/Noah with Isaac was the same thing that happened with Ellery/Noah with Saffy.

Of personal interest was the time period of all the venues and live music scene in New Zealand. I was lucky enough to have been young enough to enjoy "the circuit" the groups took, Also, the Dunedin and ChCh scenes. Plus, the Bands!!! Split Enz, The Dudes, Pink Flamingos, Graham Brazier, Toy Love, Citizen Band, Dragan, any band with Dave Dobbin, . The story fit right in.The Exponents and heaps more. It was the rise of Flying Nun Records so we followed all their Bands as well. Thanks for the memories. Cheers

Once again, have to give this a 5 for the writing, nice story and well written; the characters are believable. BUT, I wish the author could leave out the cheating. Think she feels it's necessary to the story, but it's not. Kind of takes away from it, and would be stronger without it. The hypocrisy of the MC is mind boggling; having Saffy point it out doesn't make it less so.

A story of a complex, messy relationship that told the story of what happens when people get too close and noses get put askew and people realise they just might have messed things up.

A good, 5* read from one of Literotica's best, most reliable authors.

Intriguing, original storyline around intriguing character(s). Original in that so much of LW is predictable/unoriginal. Your piece had to be digested; required some thought. Nicely done. 5*

Wonderful story. You hit the groove and stayed within it all the way through. Well written and amply supported by your enthusiasm for music. Let's see...if you are Saffy, then I wonder who Martha might be?

LWlurker

A meandering story that took a long time to get anywhere, and when it did it was so tortuous as to be awkward and uncomfortable. I just couldn’t take to any of the characters, they were quite plainly stupid people who in many deserved each other and their idiocy.

The story was just so turgid, it just didn’t engage the reader.

Scores 3/5, you can do so much better.

For this at all, both married but cheating and yes it is cheating if you have sex with someone your not married too. This behavior is not natural at all. Must be the European influence sorry no stars.

Sorry but I didn't like it. It feels like in all your stories, the wife cheats and makes it out to not be big deal and they eventually wear their husband's down to accepting their ways and eventually taking the whore back. Also what's with making the husband's eventually accept their wives lovers in the lives? This one you took to far with having the husband be okay with his so called loving wife sleeping with his so called best friend. Seriously was hard to read.

I loved it. All I would add is more big tits, some rugby, and a Gobby or two.

Once again, CG caught me with her great character development and original plot. Her stories are always highlights on Lit.

Very much enjoy your writing. While not a fan of poly relationships INSIDE a marriage, I can see how Saffron came to think it might work for Issac. He did a piss poor job of expressing his concerns, especially when she started saying she knew “you feel it too.” Had he been a little more Adamant about not including Noah in their physical relationship, maybe Saffron doesn’t get so comfortable with sharing their intimate moments. The shared intimacies, broke down too many barriers and Issac allowed her to believe he was cool with that development. His pouting, immature reactions were, somewhat understandable, because she said she loved another guy and wanted to bring him into their bed. His ultimate cheating was way out of line. He should have spent a few bucks and bought a used van to keep himself separated from Saffron and Noah, filed for divorce, completed the tour and then went his own way.

To the negative commenters : don't think like a 50 or 70 year old, think like a 20 something year old. You too would have been confused, depressed, and insecure.

Good story. Half way through I was thinking 3* but it was wrapped up rather nicely.

5*.

I found this story the least offensive of your works. A kiss (if that is tobe believed) a month in the dog house for her and revenge sex balanced things out. That said too much technical jargon regarding the performances and too much NZ slang for me.

Dope-ass story, Cagivagurl. The level of emotion you are able to pack into a story continues to be second to none. Look forward to your next, Randi.

I'm with ibuguser on this, 5*. You have to pay attention. The negative commenters clearly didn't, so it's no an accident they don't get it. For the record, I'm way past a 20 something. Perhaps being a bit older gives me an appreciation for the tensions and relationship changes that occur within many bands, and the accompanying emotions and anxiety. I don't have much sympathy with two types of comments.

1. It's too long. Nonsense. You know long it is on the first page. If you have the attention span of a gnat, don't read it.

2. It involves adultery. Well, no shit. This isn't just Lit, it's explicitly LW. Duh! What are you doing on this site?

PS. This is this the first time I've posted something aimed mainly at other commenters.

Always love when I see your name next to a story. Always find myself unable to give it a 5 as well - LOL! The Isaac you presented in the character buildup would not have let Noah have his wife, nor would he have slept with Martha given the circumstances he was facing in his marriage when the opportunity arrived. There a re a few ways you could have tweaked the story to fit what you chose to do, but didn't. Not sure why... 4*

Very good tale!

Thank you for sharing your work and please keep writing!

Interesting read to a point but hard to take seriously. The band setting the world on fire was over the top. Saffy's tale of how special the relationship the 3 had reeks of looking for a way to bed Noah without hubby getting mad. Hubby's "revelation" about love and relationships after bedding Martha was weak and the addition of Ellery near the end was just a way to get our 3 main characters out of their "special" situation.

"So now when I think about you and Noah, the fear is gone, I realise it was just jealousy, insecurities eating away at me."

And thus an otherwise interesting story takes a dive into ridiculous New Age, feminist cliches.

just like woody allen makes the same movie over and over and his groupys love each one you keep writing the same story about some dickless dude who gets led around by a roundheeled bitch and finally sez everything's ok i still love u honey then your groupys get all dreamy in the comments. like somebudy else said ur a one trick pony but you shit in the living room.

Jesus...Does this take place in the "Dude Wheres My Car" Universe? how am I supposed to take anything seriously when every other word out of their mouth is bro, sweet, dude, choice. But that's a small issue, It becomes numb by page 3. but the nonsensical conclusion ruined the story. he spent 7 page's being so frickin angry about that kiss, like can't even have a civil conversation angry, marriage over angry and on the road trip to the final spot he full on changes course and it basically happens off screen. they are fighting and going round and round then you cut back to them joking and he's cool with it now. want's his wife to get fucked now... like what the hell? I've read some of your other RAAC and light sharing stories and while i dont relate to that in a character they felt right for the character written, this doesn't. his realization that fucking other women doesn't change how he feels about his wife so its ok for her clashes with the character you spent 7 pages building, he banged the other chick and she gave him the advice that he needed to grow a pair and him growing a pair was going along with the open relationship... and in the end his wife being jealous of noah's new girl and he find's it cute... I spent 7 pages reading the same fight over and over and over again and none of it mattered...

That took a lot of turns & could have ended a number of different ways, but you handled the situations really well. This is excellently done - I'm a big fan of your musician stories in particular.

First of all, thank you for posting a free story.

I m not a big fan of the plot nor the ending but I understand it was mostly a story about emotions in a tightly knit group of three people that have feelings for each other. However, it is too long and lacks rhythm : there are too many pages where the situation does not really evolve between the kiss and Martha and our interest wanes.

I'm not reading this crap from cagi, I can tell by the comments it's just another cuckold story. Let me guess: cagi spends about 7 pages just churning the same issue over and over and over, right?

.

The husband doesn't want it, the wife wants it, and for more than half the story, it's the wife browbeating the weakling husband about how good it will be if he would grow up and see everything exactly the way she sees it. And because the husband is a weakling, he'll cave and prove her superiority by doing everything she wanted.

.

Sad. 2 stars, encouragement to improve and write a real story.

Brilliant story!!!!! Congratulations!!! 5 stars from Barcelona! 👌👌

Another one of your fabulously written stories, such a clever storey, you bring out the emotions so well. Ignore the negativity of the other comments, I wish they would get it through their heads, this is fiction, the author’s imagination, not real life. I’m so looking forward to more of your stories, and of course it’s special because of the Kiwi connection. ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

Nice story,i like it

That was terrible. The MC came off as a weak hypocrite. The wife was a space cadet and her boyfriend was straight out of "Bill and Ted." The dialogue was like nails on a chalkboard and the "story" was about 5 pages too long. Fire your editor.

Mentally retarted author

@gumpershnickal

Come to New Zealand and talk to the locals. If you are lucky enough to get to know us you will find the idiom that you are criticising as unrealistic is actually how everyday Kiwis speak. Especially the younger crowd.

Another good relatable story from a great author 👍

Thank you for being a writer who does not shy from emotional complexity. The "Loving Wives" category is of course the most tortured category on this site overall (sometimes torturous) and it's always nice to read stories that don't fit neatly into the preassigned bins various Anonymous commenters loudly expect. Unlike others, I don't at all mind stories that take a few pages to unfold, even if I have a pretty good idea where they're going to go, as I'm into journeys and not car chases. This one is well done, and I also appreciate the nice slice of Kiwi life.

Isn't it interesting that the most negative simplistic comments come from 'Anonymous'...no thought out critique, no analysis, just abuse. Ah well.

I liked the story. I was all for BTB on Noah and Saffy and thinking the story was over but was surprised by the direction you then took.

Good work,thanks.

Lot of repetition between the Isaac and Sally. He doesn't want it, she does. Eventually he caves. She gets Noah for two nights. Gets her itch scratched as Isaac bangs Martha (twice). And then nee girl shows up "stealing away" Noah and only then does Sally realize what a batch she had been to her husband. Couldn't that have been resolved on page 3?

Those 2 are the scum of the earth! Ok they kissed shit happens and maybe it didn't mean anything but they saw how gutted he was if they were decent people they would have said "we fucked up and we will never put ourselves in a position were you will think something is going on". But know they didn't do that they just carried on with the affair right in front of him rubbing his nose it! Fucking scum! We slept in different rooms, I slept on the couch. Yeah right sure you did! His wife didn't give a fuck about his feeling till he fucked that other girl! Should have kick them both to the curb and be done with it! He'd be a lot happier. All he has to look forward to now is when we she have a "connection" with next. She doesn't give a fuck about him and if they didn't need him and the bus to get famous they would have dumped him long ago.

This is a great one, really. But, your HEAs are killing me. I actually dread that turn of events. Great story!

Fuck hell..10 pages of bulls hit I had to wade through! Could not find a single male character! However lots of supposedly male characters with definite feminine characteristics! Should have been in Lesbian section!!

I am actually going to heave a sigh of relief once Cagivagurl completes sex reassignment surgery and stops the hormones! Maybe then (s)he will stop writing and leave us in peace? Maybe (s)he’ll find a stud to fuck he(r) silly day in day out and keep he(r) busy

I promised myself I would make brief comment before reading the others. Messed up, I did and read a few. CG, you write very nice. Your people breathe. The musical part was convincing. The plot's evolution was hard to relate to. Just me, I guess. Not wired for all that 2-3-4 business, so identifying with the MC is problematical. Given the nature of human beings, I don't see it as stable, or nondestructive. I think the history of societies agrees with me. YMMV, of course. Yet you took your characters through it all and back to .. monogamy?

Another masterpiece of poetically describing conflicting emotions, Cagivagurl. Sometimes you had me screaming at your character's stupidity, but then I humbly remember all the stupid things I did during my 74 years. I remember to forgive them like I do forgive myself. And thank you for bringing back the memories of making music and playing in bands! That part you excelled in, too. Thanks again!

And they all lived happily ever after, dude.

Story was a average, but if you’re interested, you could learn a lot about the music business

Horrific. Full of horrific characters.

Que trauma de mierda tiene el (la) autor (autora) con estás relaciones enfermizas

Very good story but a rushed ending.

Good story and I certainly have learned more about the music touring business than I ever cared to! 4*

Damn it, Cav-gurl, you have done it again. Another story I could not put down. You have a brilliant ability to develop your characters through rough and good times.

Well done!! Loved it!!

The plot doesn't make any sense to me, doesn't worth reading it.

1 star - once again, you turned the husband into an idiot wimp CUCK.

The SLUT & ASSHOLE get no payback.

This looks like something out of Los Angeles, California - where everyone fucks everybody regardless of gender.

Overly bloated and repetitive. Saffron only has her epiphany whe Ellery took Noah away. What a mess. She and Noah were oblivious to how gutted the MC was. And it wasn't just once, but twice!