Three Broken Lives the Adventure

Firstly, I need to thank a couple of friends for their input and assistance. George, and Randi. It's nice to have great people in your corner.

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I sat in our hotel room wondering why I hadn't seen it. I felt like such a damn fool.

I mean, this shit only happens in movies or in the twisted minds of playwrights or authors, not in real life, and definitely not to me.

I had been sitting there for two hours, and my head hadn't stopped thumping. I needed paracetamol. Pulling on my jacket, I walked out into the cool evening air. The rain drove right into the entrance, and it was cold, bitingly so. Pulling my jacket collar up higher, I pushed my chin down to reduce the bite of the frigid Wellington gale.

As I walked, I wondered, what went wrong? It just didn't make sense. I questioned everything.

Saffron, my wife? Hell, that doesn't begin to describe it. She was more than that. She was my only true friend, my muse, my lover and my love. We weren't like other couples I knew. We could and did talk about anything, by the hour. We wrote songs together, and when she sang them, they took wings. It wasn't just me who said so, either. We were tight, we had a special bond. It transcended more than just marriage. We shared everything. Nothing was off limits. Playing in a band with your wife means you have to be honest with each other, and communication was paramount.

Okay, our situation had changed; we no longer played with a full band. We had ditched the band a couple of years before to concentrate on our own project.

The band was too hard, it was impossible to make it work financially. It was great fun, but it just didn't make sense financially. NZ is a small country, and live music venues are thin on the ground. Trying to earn enough to make it worthwhile with a five piece band is almost impossible.

That's what drove Saffron and me to go down the duo route. It was easier to find gigs, small venues, intimate gigs. It had its own vibe, its own energy. As I said earlier, the band was really good fun. We just couldn't make it work.

After trying for a few years, we decided to break up the band and do our own thing. It was fine, we got a few gigs: not enough to make a decent living, but it made us feel like we could still legitimately call ourselves musos.

In the music scene, you do meet some special people, and I mean that to encompass all points of the spectrum, good and bad.

Noah, for instance. We met him about three years prior when we had the full band working. He was drafted in at short notice to cover for our regular keyboard player. He fit in so easily we formed an instant connection. He was good, I mean really good; compared to the rest of us he was like a fucking maestro.

It was just a passing relationship, because when our keyboard player returned, Noah was no longer required. We connected so strongly that we did stay in touch even though he lived in Dunedin, the other end of the country.

Saffron, my wife and I, carried on. We lived a simple life, we shared a dream of making music our life. That meant living cheaply with both of us working other jobs. We lived in a crappy little single bedroom flat in a shitty neighbourhood. That allowed us to put everything into our music. It was a means to an end.

Trapped in our shitty little flat, with not a lot of money for entertainment, we started writing songs.

The songs changed everything. We fell in love with the process, writing and arranging our own material was so satisfying. As with all artists presenting original works, we started slowly, filtering them into our sets of covers. In a working band, you have to pay your dues. For us that meant including plenty of popular covers.

Noah burst back into our life, from out of the blue. He was in Auckland working as a session player for a band recording their debut album.

He called to say he was in town and wanted to catch up. We arranged to meet down at our local watering-hole. the Thirsty Dog. It was our preferred haunt for drowning our sorrows, with the added advantage they always had live music. That night, there was an Irish folk-rock band hammering out some Water Boy covers. They were okay, without being great. When Noah walked in, Saffy threw open her arms. "Dude, oh my god, it's so good to see you again. How's it been?"

They shared a kiss, and he and I hugged it out. "Hey, Isaac," he said with a friendly pat on the back.

"How's the recording going?" Saffy interjected excitedly.

"Choice, really sweet actually. Gonna be done in a couple of days."

"Shit, that doesn't seem like a lot of time for an album?" I said disbelievingly.

"They had most of the songs already down; I just had to add some keys. No biggie."

"Shit dude, how the fuck do you do that?" I spluttered, in awe of his talent. "To just walk in cold, and nail it. Amazing."

He chuckled lightly. "Like I say, the songs were already down, and they sent me previews months ago, I was already over them." He leaned closer to us. "They're shit, I mean, really, really shit. And they're fucking knobs, so full of themselves. They already think they're gonna be superstars. They wanted me to go on tour with them, but once I met them, I said nah, no way."

We all had a laugh as I got the beers in. The Thirsty Dog, wasn't only our local, we played here a lot, and they gave us cheap drinks to keep us happy.

As we sipped our pints, Noah asked, "So what about you guys, doing anything special?"

"Well, we got rid of the band, and we're just doing this duo thing. Mostly, though, we've been writing."

I gave Saffy a nervous questioning look and she added proudly, "They're pretty good, I mean, we think so."

"Writing, huh? Shit, that sounds awesome. I've been doing a bit of that, myself," he quipped.

"Yeah, what sort of stuff have you been writing?"

"Oh, kind of folky sort of shit, a bit of blues. Old influences, nothing special," he replied. "What about you guys?"

Saffy gave a little laugh. "Same, dude. We have been sort of playing with this sort of alternative folky, bluesy, Indie sort of vibe."

He nodded. "Sounds good, I'd love to have a listen; maybe we could jam it out sometime?"

"Oh shit, that'd be awesome, dude," I shot back. "What are ya doing tomorrow night?"

He shrugged, glancing at us with what looked like an interested look. "I'm finished tomorrow, so after that, I'm free. Do you have a rehearsal space?"

"Yeah, got a spot where Saffy works. They have a room out back. We leave all the gear stored and set up there. No keys though, you'll have to bring your own, mate."

"Sweet as; I don't have a car though. They flew me up, and I'm just bussing it."

"I can pick you up, dude," Saffy threw in.

"I'll just go straight there after work, get everything set up and be ready for when you arrive," I threw in, not wanting to lose what felt like a positive opportunity.

That first jam...

It was instantaneous. We all knew, we all felt it. I had never experienced anything like it. The connection was so immediate and deep, like he already knew our songs, like he had been playing them for years. His keys were perfect, and his harmonies were incredible. I wasn't blessed with one of those pitch perfect voices; mine was a rough and gravelly, like coarse sandpaper on concrete. Saffy was the real vocalist; she was blessed with an awesome voice, rich, clear and precise, yet still managed to sound natural.

Even Noah's songs were good. He only had a couple, but they fitted with ours like they were written by the same person, it was a match made in heaven. After the jam, we ended up back at the Thirsty Dog. The drinks were cheap and the vibe good. We started talking about the songs and it was all so positive; I'm not an effusive person, but I found myself gushing about the jam, trying to explain how buoyant I felt.

The others laughed as I talked animatedly, my arms waving around like a crashing helicopter. Saffy grabbed my arm. "Shit, babe, calm down." It was said with a laugh, but I sensed she was shocked. That eased a little when Noah joined in with his own chuckle.

As we talked, Dorian, the bar manager, came over carrying three more pints. "Hey guys, what are you doing Friday night? Busted Bollix were booked to play, but they just pulled out. We need an act, are you guy's free?"

"Not free, dude, but we're available."

He laughed, "Yeah, got it, as always, meals, drinks and four hundred."

I glanced at Noah, before replying. "Mate, we have a new member. If you could stretch to six hundred, it'd be cool."

He looked around us, "I could make it five hundred, meals and drinks. If you're any good, then Sunday afternoon is available, and I'll do six hundred for that one."

"Done deal, dude." I replied sticking out my hand, without even consulting the others.

As he walked away, I said questioningly to Noah, "Can you change your flight home?"

He glanced back and forth between Saffy and me, and it was hard to read him. He looked keen, but I couldn't tell. It was like he was deep in thought.

"You want me to be honest?" he said.

"Yeah totally, Bro."

"Okay, well, after the jam, I have to say, I'm blown away." He glanced around anxiously, questioningly. "You guys felt it, right?"

Saffy peeked at me before replying with a giggle. "Oh, I felt it all right. The vibe, dude, it was awesome."

He nodded eagerly. "I feel the same, those songs, wow, you guys have something, and it's good, I mean really good."

Saffy and I didn't say anything, we were still absorbing his compliments.

He quickly added, "Guys, I got such an incredible vibe from today, I loved the songs, the feel, and how we gelled. There's a cosmic connection, I would love to see where that could take us. I think there is some magic happening. It's special, and if you let me, I want to ride that wave with you."

"Jesus, dude, it's hardly a wave," I mumbled, surprised by his intensity.

"No, bro. There's something there. I can't put my finger on it, but we have something, and I bloody love it. I don't have anywhere to stay, but..."

Saffy jumped into his arms, and they hugged tightly. "You'll have to crash on the sofa, but you can stay with us."

She didn't even ask me, not that she had to. I was so into the concept. "Okay, we have three days to get our shit together. We are going to have to rehearse the shit out of these new songs and you'll have to learn the rest of our set."

He laughed. "Come on, mate, I've probably played most of your set list." He stared at me as he reeled off a bunch of songs that were in our set.

"Fucking smart arse," I spat back in mock disgust.

"I wasn't being a dick. I reckon every duo going around the country is playing those same songs. You need to bring in some new material."

Friday night we played our first gig as "Three Broken Lives." To say it was amazing would not be fair. It was fucking out of this world. When we played as a duo, it was a whole different vibe, just Saffy and me, but with Noah in the mix, and he made me use his stomp box. Yeah, It sounds simple, but I had never used one before. Suddenly, we had a new sound.

The crowd was into it. We usually got listeners, a discerning crowd who came along to do exactly that, listen. There was an older couple who always came along when we played. They usually had a couple of drinks, sat in the corner and listened. That night, they were on the dance floor the whole night.

Okay, we usually had a few dancers, but with Noah in the mix, the dance floor was full the whole night. He really lifted us, especially Saffy. Usually the quiet one, Noah freed her to bring back the rock chick of old, and she was in full force. She bounced, she danced, she smashed her tambourine so hard she had bruises. She was on fire, her voice powerful. The support of another voice in the harmony mix released her.

Afterward, we were in a booth chilling, talking to some fans and enjoying a beer. Pushing through the crowd was Dorian, carrying a tray with more drinks. He put them down on the table and shook his head. "Okay, you got me, that was stunning. We haven't had a packed dance floor for months. You guys rocked it. Seven hundred it is, and the same for Sunday."

He grabbed Noah and hugged him. "Dude, you rocked that fucking organ. Jeez, fucking choice, Cuz."

Noah laughed, "Not often I get told my organ rocked."

Auckland's music scene is pretty small. For a City that size, there are only a few venues carrying live acts. Word got around pretty quickly, and suddenly we were booked out. I mean solid bookings for months in advance. It was amazing.

The only problem was the flat. Noah had been looking around, but wasn't able to find anything that suited. He had been crashing every night on our sofa, and that wasn't fair. Saffy organised a band meeting. "Okay, this isn't working," she stated firmly.

"I was just gonna find a flat or something close by," Noah replied.

Saffron gave me a sneaky little smile, before saying excitedly. "We could get a bigger place," She hated the flat, always had. It was in a shitty part of town, it was scruffy and run down. We had been talking about moving and this was her chance to push that.

"I'd be up for it," Noah threw in. "I just got my check from that recording gig, so I'm flush. I'd be happy to chuck it in."

Saffy grabbed my arm, squeezing for all she was worth. "Please, babes, let's do it; let's get out of this fucking dump. We could still all be together, work on songs, rehearse"

"Yeah, okay, you talked me into it. We could have a look over the weekend."

It took a couple of weeks, but we found a place out of the city. It was more than we wanted to pay, but it was a farm cottage and it came with a little shed. It gave us room to park the old bus, and we could rehearse in the shed. It only took us a few weeks to line the shed with some old sheep fleeces for insulation. Noah's gear arrived from Dunners, and included in it was a recording desk and computer.

We went straight into recording all the original songs and made up a short demo tape. Saffron, as our self-appointed manager, took control of the finished recording. She sent it around all the old venues we used to play with the band. They had slipped off our radar, because they weren't really interested in the duo setup. With Noah in the mix, we were a different animal.

Noah an Saffy, sat together for hours building a website. We linked that to our old social media page, hoping to drag a bunch of our old fans with us.

Did it work? Hell yeah. The reaction was immediate, and the levels of interest went well beyond what we expected. The money was so good. The feedback we got at gigs was so positive, and it was hard to argue with the numbers. We were riding a growing groundswell of positivity. We decided to ride it as long as we could, and bank as much as we could.

It wasn't just the performances and money, The songs were flowing. I was an avid song writer and spent hours every day, not only practising guitar, but writing songs. Since starting the writing process, I had become an obsessive fanatic. I carried a notebook everywhere, I found songs on everything, hiding in conversations, newspaper articles, throwaway ad slogans. I took notes of anything that tickled my fancy. That was my thing. I could easily disappear into myself for hours at a time, putting together the notes I scribbled down and infusing them with melodies and riffs.

I loved writing, but doing it with Noah was completely different. He was a musical genius; so incredibly talented, his musical inventiveness put new ideas into my head and it just took the songs to a whole new level. It wasn't just me, either. Saffron and Noah had just as tight a connection, and he was able to drag songs out of her I couldn't.

Saffron didn't play an instrument, not well anyway. She relied on me to interpret her lyrics and add melodies. Unlike Noah, I wasn't a virtuoso. My talents limited me, and I sometimes struggled to get them out.

That did lead to frustration on her part, mostly because sometimes I just couldn't get it. Now, with Noah on board, he was able to bring her songs to life. I guess it hurt a little seeing them sitting side by side in front of the keyboard and him bringing to life songs I had failed to turn into anything.

Now there were these truly spectacular love song ballads. I tried not to let it get me down. I wasn't so much jealous of them, more disappointed in myself.

I had always been envious of better musicians. I learned to play on a beat-up old guitar at the orphanage where I lived. I never knew my parents, never had a family. I was an angry young kid, far too much of a troublemaker to get placed with foster parents. I went from the orphanage, to borstal, and then straight into the workforce. Playing guitar was just something I did for fun. It got me free beers at parties if I beat out a few sing-along songs.

It wasn't until I met Saffron that my music became something more than a means to get free drinks at parties. She had such a beautiful voice, and when I played, she sang along. It was how we met.

At a party, I was doing the jukebox thing, playing for free drinks, and she sat her cute arse down beside me, and started singing. We sort of smiled at each other, I played louder, she sang louder. We smiled at each other. The rest, as they say, is history.

It was hearing her sing that really made me want to get better. I practised like mad; all I wanted was to improve enough, to allow her talent to shine.

It was at a Karaoke night at the local pub that a couple of guys approached us about jamming, that led to the band and everything grew from there.

Watching Noah carefully massage her lyrics and melodies into wonderful songs brought back my old feelings of insecurity. Made me feel a little superfluous.

I did my best to suppress those feelings. I knew they were stupid, but knowing it and dealing with it were two different things. I had always suffered with feelings of inadequacy. Even in the old band, I was the weakest musician and always felt I didn't actually belong. That was just me, I had always been like that; it was who I was.

My feelings and insecurities aside, having Noah around was amazing; not only from a musical perspective, he was just a fun guy, and there was definite connection that stretched way past the music.

The three of us living in the house meant there was always lots of light-hearted banter and joking. The three of us formed something of a three musketeers bond. It was us against the world.

Noah was different than me: he was bright and outgoing, whereas I was the more reserved deep thinker. Saffy fell somewhere between those spectrums.

As we settled into life as housemates, the connections grew deeper, especially between Saffy and Noah, I saw it, god, it was impossible to miss. The way they flirted and joked around left no room for misinterpretation. It was weird watching their relationship blossom. Yeah, I felt the jealousy creep in, I hated it, made me bloody uncomfortable.

I did my best to push those emotions away, because aside from my fragile ego, life couldn't have been better: we had a decent place to live and the music was paying its way. I felt like a real muso, not a part-timer.

We constantly worked on the new songs, writing, recording and just perfecting our act.

Noah started teaching Saffy to play bass. Now that turned out to be a revelation. It came from he and I playing guitar together on a couple of songs. He played acoustic rhythm, and I played lead, although still using my acoustic. Saffy felt ignored, overlooked, and in jest moaned, "I feel left out. I should play something, as well."

"Like what, the triangle?" I joked.

"No, smart arse, something useful," she countered, with a hurt pout.

"Have you ever tried bass?" Noah asked. When she shook her head no, he said, "Righto then, let's give that a go."