All Comments on 'Three Rules'

GREAT!!!

Continue on!

excellent about 4.5 . Extentuated means to lessen I believe you should have used accentuated. Looking forward to chapter 2

Keep it up, please.

A terrific first effort, here on Lit.

There are a few niggling issues but with practice you will get better.

Great story; I really look forward to Chapter 2! Would personally like to see more foreplay, getting caught by parents/figuring out new ways to accommodate the twins' 'situation' and more plot development...to me that's literary foreplay. Thoroughly enjoyed this & hope you keep writing!

What an incredibly hot story. I hope they become a permanent couple, incest romance lives. Too bad their going to different schools. Maybe Dad works it out that they can so he can save some money. Please continue.

Would be great if you could keep this one going for a few more chapters...maybe spend a little more time on the foreplay. And how about a visit to sis in Ann Arbor after she starts school at UofM...lots of potential there...maybe a walk in the Arb.

Oh fucking wonderful, more and more like this please and soon my girl and I fucked each other into next week

a little more back ground would have been nice but it was good as is. next have them figure a way to go to college together and get an apartment to live in maybe have the parents catch them maybe she could get pregnant. so far so good just don't keep us waiting to long for chapter two.

Andrea and her three rules. I wish I had a sister with the same three rules life would be grand. I do have a sister though and she never through all the years ever called me brother she always used my name or her name for me. So that is my small criticism. Please all the anonymous commentator use your names are you that ashamed of your positive or negative comments.

too bad they will be going to school in 2 different states.

I liked it all well enough. Your dialogue was pretty good and your narration painted the scenes in an enjoyable way. I always enjoy it when authors give me insight into a character's thoughts, and you did that.

There is a lot of potential for adding chapters. As they said to each other, they have the whole summer. This could become a series of quickies or you could draw us into their wider lives. Either way, you should keep writing. Thanks.

It was a really good read, especially for a first timer on Lit.

I caught a few errors, but I'm sure I missed a couple also.

Please use the following comments as helpful hints when editing your next chapter. All of them are relatively minor, but when you add them together, it detracts from the story enough to make a great story a good story.

#1. It ended a little to abruptly. It could have gone on to a third Lit page.

#2. A bit more of a romantic buildup before sex would have been nice. You know, the anticipation of something more to come, but just don't know when.

#3. In the following line, you should have left out the first comma: His mind was far from idle, however,

#4. I believe in this usage, the correct word is 'forgot' not 'forget'. "What leftovers do we have, I forget what we had this week."

#5. First person or Third person narrative. It changed in the third sentence of the paragraph that starts with: He was getting a little angry now, so he didn't answer. * Here is the sentence: I guess she didn't pay attention to what he was trying to show her, because even after all his help,

#6. Repetition. 'Jason' is used 3 times in 5 sentences that make up the paragraph following this line: "MMMMMMMM..." Andrea was softly moaning.

Again, I really did like the story, and look forward to chapter 2 and I hope you are not too put off by my comments.

but the sex was to abrupt. You just needed to describe it more. Other than that a brilliant story with amazing potential to have more chapters :) xo wish i had that brother :)))))))))))))))))))

Very good premise with the three rules. Build the love between them please! Hot sex is good, but a great story is better. I personally wish you would have them planning to go to school together, but that is certainly up to you. Good Luck. I gave you five stars for a good start as a novice.

but seen it all before..

I liked the way you started the story. What I found a bit disturbing is that although Jason claims to be very sorry about the whole thing after the first evening, it only takes a naked cook to convince him otherwise.

The next time you could consider hatching a bit more elaborated plan than four beers and and a little nudity.

I think the story shows promise (especially if one of them decides to switch schools) and so does your writing. I gave this piece a 5 in hopes that you continue!

Please do continue with these two.

You show a lot of promise. Keep working at it so you can become a better writer and we readers can give you positive feedback as well as enjoy more of your work. Good job!

That was the best story ever bro.

You show some promise...work on building the story and these characters up, and you'll have a story worth reading. Just make sure to let us know what's driving these two and build a relationship for them that we as readers will care about.

I agree with the others, can't wait to read more :-)

Keep the chapters cumming. get them both to the same school and develop them some more.

great stuff! love where this is going!

three rules 2 and a baby too

for a first story it's great..a bit too quick ,the brother and sister should have

slowed it down a bit..go out on a romantic date or two before the inevitable happened

worth a second chapter..

This was a good story. I liked the jealous sister angle; it adds something. I loved the slow build-to of the sex. My only complaint is that there wasn't enough of it - sex, I mean. Still, it was a great story and I look forward to another chapter.

way to rushed what happened in less than 24 hours should have been spread out over months. you gave no background as to them haveing feeling for each other so it was just a rush to sex. you need to build the characters and the plot, make the readers care about the people and want them to be together. the next chapter needs to tell if they get caught, if she gets pregnant and how they work it going to different colleges. chances are one or both will find someone at college unless they go to the same school. think about a rewrite for this chapter and use a good editor from now on.

Think you got it about write thats how it happens on the spur of the moment

Just want more

do we get the rest or are you one of the usless 99% here that FAILS to finish their stories? this is far from over it needed a lot more back ground, character buildup and plot buildup but leaveing it unfinished is by far worse.

you kept saying that she was his brother so many times that it made it hard to keep up with this story. Also, like other comments have stated you gave absolutely no background as to how they felt about each other. Next time get an editor to help you keep the story straight and help you with background if you need it. Otherwise, great story

I thought the story was well written and didn't notice any errors in spelling or grammar. The story was hot and believable. Please continue with a followup.

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