All Comments on 'Three Trees - Ch. 01: A Date?'

Two inexperienced people exploring BDSM without the husband is dangerous.

BDSM shouldn't involve sex but it is highly intimate and boundaries can be blurred. It would be less potentially disastrous by involving an experienced Dom or better yet, a professional in a controlled setting.

This just seems like a date.

Instead of telling us in two lines that they had a conversation at the restaurant, which tells us nothing about them, you should write out the dialogue. Dialogue is very important to show how they feel and think about this with words, expressions, eye contact (or lack of it), and body language as they speak. It looks like you were in a big hurry to get this page up.

Good to have whackdoodle’s seemingly informed warning. At the same time - and I’m obsessed about safety — everything they are doing, and how they progress, seems appropriately cautious.

Let’s see how it goes — in fiction, anyhow.

Pesonally, I think this has legs, and gave it a 5 to motivate you to carry on, even though it's way too short, even for a teaser intro. Left a comment in the story feedback forum. I'm not at all bothered by the "safety" of the events -- if you tell a compelling story, that's good enoiugh for me. I advise you to ignore people warning you about which direction to go in.

I love this beginning. I can wait for the more serious stuff that will undoubtably come later. I don't know why there's any concern about safety. They just had lunch, in a public restaurant!. At this point I'll assume that the couple plus Steve will see to safety. As for length of the chapter, I'd just as soon have twenty short chapters as five long ones. Lengthy prose can get tedious. I wrote a story for Literotica that was 33 short chapters that seemed to keep the readers' attention 'til the end.

Keep it up!