Tied Up in Knotts Ch. 07

"Ughh—" I stuttered, totally fucking caught off guard.

"It must be serious," he continued. "You guys are practically joined at the hip twenty-four-seven, then suddenly he's been grumpy as fuck. Neither of you have said a single word to each other since you arrived. Makes me wonder."

Holy shit. I sighed in relief. They'd been referring to Penn and I as spouses for weeks. It wasn't a big deal, just a sassy, good natured jib that everyone got at some point. No different than Ryan telling his brother and his wife, Jane, to take their affair elsewhere—that he didn't care what they did in private but at least have the decency to hide it from him.

Logan grabbed a beer from the fridge and leaned against the counter. He looked at Penn and frowned. "Trouble in paradise?"

I glanced at Penn. He was still on the other side of the room glaring daggers at his brothers. He was unamused by the question and had no intention of humoring his family by answering it. I waited for him to look my way but he refused.

"What?" Penn asked. Everyone was still watching him. "We're not required to talk to each other."

I deserved that. Penn had been the gold standard of support since day one and I should have told him about the conversation with Chambers and how I called and made an appointment with the lawyer lady on my way home from lunch. No one else gave him the same grace. As far as they were concerned, we were attached to the hip. We showed up together, got food together, sat together, partnered together, and left together. And that was only Sundays.

Penn finally looked at me. I tried to convey how sorry I was but it didn't matter. He was hurt. There was only one thing to do. I ran my hand through my hair and braced myself.

"I was kind of a dick to Penn. He's been—great and—well," I took another breath. "Lee was having an affair—" I paused. "Is having an affair?" I clarified. I wasn't sure how it worked. Was he still sleeping with Paul? I wasn't sure. Did that change the past/present tense? I wasn't sure.

"What the fuck?!"

"You've got to be kidding me. I'll kill the bastard."

"Fucking bastard."

I raised my hand to hush the profanities.

"No one knows. I had promised Lee we'd do counseling for six months before making a decision but I recently changed my mind. Thursday, I made an appointment with a lawyer to start divorce proceedings. Today Wayne and I met with the committee. Lee was sleeping with Paul Culla, so yeah, the meeting wasn't great. I ended up resigning from my job."

"You could've told us."

"I know," I said, sincerely. "And I wanted to tell you but it's not exactly an easy subject to bring up, nor is it something I enjoy talking about."

Just as I expected, everyone got up and walked toward me until I was completely engulfed by affection. They kept telling me how sorry they were and how they wished there was more they could do. Ryan even offered to bury Lee under a concrete slab. They must've known the hug had healing powers because I was beginning to feel better.

When the hug still hadn't ended, I chuckled under their weight. "I'm okay, I promise."

"No you're not. How could you be? You've been dealing with all of this by yourself for over a month!" Tia fumed.

"I wasn't alone," I glanced at Penn from the corner of my eye. No one missed it.

"You said you didn't know anything," Ryan shouted at Penn, throwing a dinner roll at him from across the kitchen.

"Hey," he recoiled from the hit. "I only just found out myself."

"Then what's crawled up your butt and died?"

"It was my fault," I jumped in. "He's been the gold standard of best friends and I disrespected him."

Penn still wasn't looking at me or saying much. Now that everyone knew what was going on, I had nothing to lose. I decided to take matters into my own hands. I went to Penn, who was resting his elbows on the counter. I hugged him from the side and put my chin on his shoulder.

"I'm sorry," I mumbled into his neck. "You know you're my best friend, right?" Penn didn't move except to grab a carrot off his plate and snap it in half with his teeth. "This isn't Facebook, you can't unfriend." He took another bite of carrot. "Penn," I half warned, half whined. I fished my fingers under his shirt. I knew exactly where he was ticklish.

"Nash—" he warned as I slowly walked my fingers from across his waist, towards his belly. I could feel his skin prickle and twitch as he tried not to react.

"Do you forgive me?"

His body jerked when I hit the soft tissue on his belly.

"I hate you," he laughed as he tugged his shirt down to stop me.

"C'mon," Ryan shouted. "Kiss and make up already. You know you want to."

"Please Pennington?" I cooed as I playfully hugged him tighter when he tried to pull away from me.

"Whatever," he huffed. He tried to hide it but he was smiling. I kissed him on the cheek and everyone cheered.

"It might not have worked out with Lee but what you have with Penn is true love," Ryan teased.

"What about Cam?" I asked. Half playfully, half genuine inquiry.

He waved me off. "You guys can fight it out later. Tell us about tonight's game."

****

"How often has he made you guys play serenade charade?" Wayne asked as everyone gathered in the living room to start playing whatever game I had ready, which I'd yet to figure out since I'd completely forgotten about game night.

"Never?" Jane asked.

"Never?" Wayne looked shocked. "We never made it through a single staff function without Nash making us play."

"In my defense," I interrupted. "You have to be really interactive and invested in embarrassing yourself for it to be fun. That's a job prerequisite. Not so much these people." I sea-sawed my hand, so-so.

"Are you saying we're not fun?" Abby pouted.

I raised my hands."I didn't say that; I just don't think you guys would enjoy it that as much."

"I think we want to play."

Wayne encouraged their uprising and soon I had a mutiny. It was my favorite game but I wasn't lying when I said everyone had to be on board. It was only fun if everyone went one-hundred-ten percent, which I didn't think would happen.

"Okay," I started writing everyone's names down. "If it's your turn, you draw a name. The person you draw is the person you're going to serenade. Then use the app to find out what song you're going to sing. Easy Peasy."

"You have to serenade like you mean it," Wayne added.

"Yes, it's a whole situation. Song and dance. And since Wayne is the reason we're all doing this, he gets to show everyone how it's done."

"It's my pleasure." Wayne grabbed a name from the bowl. "Would you look at that! Nash, take a seat my friend."

Of course it was me. I laughed and took a seat in the chair of serenading while Wayne used the phone to see what song he was singing. "'Dilemma' by Nelly," he blanched at the song choice. "Are you kidding me! I'm sixty-one years old, what kind of bullshit is this?"

It was hard to remain composed when a greying man in his sixties, wearing slacks and a button-up shirt, was shaking his booty while attempting to rap alongside Nelly. Everyone was laughing by the time Wayne finished with me and ready for their turn. I had to give them credit, they did a pretty good job considering that everyone in the room listened to country and classic rock. Any song outside that genre was like watching a foul walk for the first time.

Then there was the fact that everyone was family except Wayne and me, so watching them sing love/sexual songs to each other had me crying with laughter. Especially when Penn had to sing a Ja Rule song to Logan.

He grumbled because he didn't know the song and was so proper as he tried to read the lyrics off of the iPad while singing. Honestly, the whole thing was painfully hilarious to watch.

"How come Nash hasn't gone yet?" Penn pouted after his second run of disaster where he had to sing a particularly cringey rendition of 'Somewhere Over the Rainbow' to Wayne.

"His name hasn't been drawn but after all the critiquing he's been giving, I'd like to see him walk the walk."

"I don't think you guys can handle him. He competes on a different level," Wayne said, returning to his spot.

"I'll be happy to show you how it's done." I stood up and strutted over to Lenny, who was holding the bowl up. I unfolded the name and laughed. "Ryan, get your ass ready."

Ryan jumped up like a contestant on 'The Price is Right' and quickly settled into the spotlighted chair. While he prepared himself, I grabbed the iPad and smirked when I saw the song choice. I handed it to Wayne who also smiled. He'd seen the song in action and knew what was coming.

"Oh, this is going to be good," he laughed.

I got situated and waited for my cue. 112's song 'Anywhere' started playing. Anyone who had watched Magic Mike would remember the final scene. I learned the entire dance with a few friends who were also on staff. We performed it during a staff retreat as a hilarious late night skit. To this day, it's still one of the most talked about retreats.

The music started and the room erupted in screams when they realized what was happening. Ryan, for all his confidence, turned beet red when I gyrated my crotch in his face. I replicated the very explicit striptease and by the time my ninety seconds was up, I was shirtless and out of breath.

"I did not see that coming!" Logan stood up, clapping and laughing. Watching his brother get his very first male lap dance was too much.

"You, good sir, are the master," Abby curtsied.

"I'm pretty sure I got a boner," Ryan laughed, adjusting his pants. I glanced down but he'd been joking. No boner. Still, I laughed. "Seriously," Ryan said. "You have to go again."

"Encore!" The room shouted.

It was getting late but after the day I had, I was down for another round. I grabbed a name. "Penn."

Ryan cheered. "Husband on husband!"

Penn smiled and took a seat while I went to the iPad. I was bummed the Magic Mike song was wasted on Ryan. Penn would've been more fun, he would've been bright red for sure.

I watched the screen as it shuffled. 'Dear Future Husband' by Meghan Trainor. It wasn't a sexy song, but it was kind of perfect and I knew the room would love it. The music started and I swayed my hips and walked toward Penn. I ran my fingers across his wide shoulders as I sang the words. He was smiling brightly as he watched me shimmy circles around him.

Dear future husband
here's a few things you need to know if
you wanna be my one and only all my life.
If you wanna get that special lovin'
Tell me I'm beautiful each and every night

I sat in his lap and draped my arm around his neck. He was still smiling like a fool, no doubt finding the entire thing hilarious.

After every fight
Just apologize
And maybe then I'll let you try and rock my body right

I slid off his lap and spread his legs until they were wide enough for me to slide between. His eyes widened and his siblings started whistling.

Don't have a dirty mind
Just be a classy guy
Buy me a ring
Buy, buy me a ring, babe

The music faded out and once again everyone applauded. I smiled and held my hand out to Penn and pulled him up.

"Buy him a ring already!" Everyone cheered, making Penn and I laugh. Penn was still blushing, not as much as he would've been if I'd given him a lap dance but enough to make me laugh.

We hung around for a while longer before finally calling it a night. It was decided that we'd be playing serenade charades every week from here on out. I told them I was on board but only if they up'd their game. They agreed.

As we hugged goodbye everyone reiterated how sorry they were about Lee and that they were there for me. I knew it was true and was thankful for their support. Ryan asked again if I wanted Lee buried, then pulled me into a strong hug and told me we were family.

"We're brother in-laws," he smirked and I pushed his shoulder.

"I don't think Cam would appreciate that."

"Nah, we'll just vote her off the island."

I shook my head and walked away laughing.

"Ready?" Penn stood by the door, waiting to walk me back to the cottage. Wayne was with Logan and Abby but could find his way back without me. I wanted to talk to Penn.

"Keep your hands where we can see them," Ryan shouted. Penn flipped him off as we walked out the door.

"You forgive me?" I asked.

"Yeah," he slung his arm over my shoulder as we walked. "I was feeling butt-hurt but I can't stay mad at my husband."

"Perfect," I smiled. "I need at least one happy husband. It won't be long before I'll need some basic necessities like food and vacations."

The distant porch light illuminated Penn's dimpled smile, and the way his eyes shown when he was happy made me melt a little inside. I wrapped my arm around his waist and leaned my head on his shoulder as we continued to walk. I was so thankful for him. So very thankful.

"Yeah, yeah. I'll take care of you baby," he squeezed me tight, offering me protection from the storms of my life.

"I'm really sorry about earlier," I said. "Sometimes, joking is easier than dealing with the hard stuff. Admitting that I called a lawyer is admitting to my failed marriage, and that hurts. I wish I was ready to face all this but I'm not."

"I shouldn't have been upset that you didn't tell me. It's your life, not mine."

"Don't do that," I said. "Don't let me off the hook. I want to tell you everything. Sometimes I need a push."

"Careful what you wish for," he smiled. He was getting ready to head to his truck when he paused, "Oh, and thanks for giving my brother a lap dance."

Thinking of how hilarious Penn's reaction would've been, I said, "I wish it would've been you who got the lap dance."

Penn was taking a step backwards when he stumbled backwards. He tried to save himself but ended up falling, very ungracefully. He quickly got up and wiped himself off. I was laughing.

"Me?" he asked, panicked.

I laughed more, this was the reaction I was talking about. "Yeah, your reaction would've been hilarious. Maybe next week."

"Ugh," he mumbled. Even in the dark I could tell his face was bright red.

"Or maybe you can give me a lap dance." I couldn't help myself.

Penn stumbled again but managed to stay upright this time.

"Night Penn," I waved from the door. Penn didn't make eye contact but waved from the truck.

I went to bed laughing.

Laughing and hoping I'd have the chance to embarrass him next week.