Tied Up in Knotts Ch. 16

"What are you planning to do then?"

"Sell it, buy new property and build a new house."

"You make it sound so easy."

I shrugged. "It kind of is when your family is in the business. I'm not sure they'll be so helpful the next time around.

"Why?" he asked.

"I've been thinking about moving."

Nash's eyes bulged. "To where?"

"I don't know. Maybe Bend, maybe California."

"Maybe Bend. Maybe California," he mumbled. "When?"

"I don't know. When I find the right property. There's nothing holding me here so why not spread my wings."

"What about your family?"

"What about them?" I asked. "They might think we need to be attached at the hip but we don't. They'd survive."

Nash was quiet for a few minutes. I could see the house in the distance and it looked like the kids were already in the pool. Nash and I long forgotten.

"Do you think you'll be there in the next year?" he asked.

"I don't know," I laughed. "I don't have a timeline. I'm going to California next month and figured I'd look at property while I'm down there. If I find something then I'll put my house on the market. Are you planning on staying in Portland?"

"I wasn't planning on it but—"

There was a scream from the house. Not a bad scream but the scream that came from my favorite little red head. I looked to find Cam and Penny standing on the patio watching Nash and I come down the walk way. Cam had to work and couldn't come until today. They must've arrived while we were out.

Cam set Penny down and she came running down the way. When she got close, I scooped her up.

"How's my favorite monster girl?" I asked. Penny grabbed my shirt with her little fists and babbled back. I walked her back to the house and kissed Cam on the cheek.

"Looked like you two were having a cozy conversation," she whispered.

I almost turned to find Nash, who I had accidentally ditched, but stopped myself. "Nah, just finished hiking with the kids."

"Is that why he looks like a kicked puppy who had his favorite toy taken away."

"He's probably sunburned."

Cam laughed. "More like Pennburned."

"Ha. Ha." I stared, unamused. "How was your flight?"

"Good. Long. Glad to finally be here. Would you mind watching Penny for a minute so I can take a nap? I feel like I'm going to fall over."

"Sure," I looked at Penny. "Want to go for a swimmy?" Penny's eyes lit up.

Cam told me where her bag was, then disappeared. I got Penny and I ready then took her to the pool where we waded around for a while. She was a water baby through and through but the heat, the play, and the long day finally caught up. An hour later she was asleep on my chest under a shaded lawn chair.

Jane and Abby tried to steal Penny more than a few times but I was the favorite. I got to hang out with her the rest of the evening, uninterrupted. I wasn't a huge kid person but I loved Penny and my nieces and nephews.

****

The next few days went by about the same. I woke up surprisingly early, helping with Penny so Cam could sleep in. We'd both be sitting at the table drinking—coffee for me and milk for her—when Nash finished with his run. He'd join us for breakfast before everyone else woke up.

Although I'm unclear exactly what Nash's promise entailed, I'd say he did a decent job of following through. He was everywhere I was and did one hell of a job weaseling into some semblance of a friendship. It was irritating how easy it was. I didn't want things to be easy, I wanted to resist, and I did. But it was easier, much easier, to be around him. The feelings weren't there, not like before, but I did feel something keen to a growing friendship between us.

Unfortunately, not everyone else got that memo.

The boys decided to wolf howl every time they saw me look at Nash, which was annoyingly frequent. Then they decided to meow when they saw Nash looking at me. I'm not sure if they were being completely honest about how often it was happening, if they were, then I have to admit that I was caught off guard.

The howling I understood because of the whole wolfpack thing, but when I asked why the meowing, they said it was the 'wolf whistle' and the 'cat call'. I laughed because they clearly had never experienced either of those in real life. Which made it truly funny.

Except it wasn't. Because it felt like all day they were howling and meowing. My saving grace was that no one else knew why they were doing it. Until they did. Then everyone was doing it. My brothers were like a dog with a bone. I couldn't even accidentally glance at Nash without sounding the alarms. It was hard to keep a straight face after a while. How Nash didn't catch on, I'll never know.

****

"You really need some sleep," I said one morning when Nash came into the kitchen. Usually he'd be getting back from his run by now but that wasn't the case. The dark under his eyes were a clear sign he needed sleep.

"It's fine," he smiled as he sat down. "I'm tired but it's worth it knowing they're having a good time."

"Them having a good time isn't dependent on you not sleeping."

"True, but all the rooms are full and we're not good enough friends to share a room."

"I never said we couldn't share a room. I said we couldn't share a bed," I explained. "If you want to sleep on the floor, by all means."

Nash turned his nose up. "You don't mean it. You're just saying that because you feel obligated."

"Suit yourself."

Nash frowned. "Hey, you're supposed to beg. 'Please Nash, come sleep in my room. Let's be roommates and stay up late telling ghost stories, blah blah blah'."

"Isn't staying up late telling ghost stories why you have bags of coal under your eyes?"

"Rude," he said, still holding his nose up but smiling nonetheless. "If you're nice I might stay with you. We'll see."

"I wait with bated breath."

Nash smiled. "You should come with me this morning."

"To where?"

"Running."

"Oh no. Thanks anyway."

"C'mon," he pressed. "We used to do it all the time."

"I know. But I used to be in love with you, which was the only reason I ever ran. When things ended, I realized I didn't much care for running and I haven't done it since."

Nash stared at me. He looked sad and guilty which was not my intention. But, if we were actually planning on being friends, the least I could do was be honest. And the honest truth was that I only ever ran because Nash did. It was my way of trying to have some common ground with the man I was in love with.

"I don't even know what to say to that. I'm sorry?"

"Nah," I waved him off. "It was me being young and dumb. I should thank you though, running did keep me in shape. For that reason alone, I should still do it but...nah."

The corner of his lip curled but didn't reach his eyes. "Okay, well, I'll leave you be then."

I watched Nash as he walked down the walkway and away from the house. I could tell by the tension in his shoulder and the way his head hung that he was upset. I'm guessing because I told him I didn't really enjoy running? What did he want me to do? Go anyway? Wouldn't that be the opposite of what we were trying to achieve? Shouldn't a friendship be based on honesty and not one being crazy obsessed with the other?

I could hear the house waking up and a few minutes later the kitchen started filling up. There were so many people staying in the house I literally hadn't even talked to everyone. Granted, I was far more introverted than the rest of my family and had no problem staying at the small window seat while the giant tables filled with people.

Cam and Sam came in last. Cam spotted me and smiled evilly. I rolled my eyes and held my hands out, letting her know I'd take Penny so she could eat.

"Just while I dish up and then I'll join you. We haven't really talked since I got here and I miss you."

"What about Sam? You're just going to ditch him on the first vacation he's been on?"

"Sam will be just fine. We didn't connect the dots until we got here but Sam actually went to college with Abby's brother Carter. They'll be inseparable this morning." Sure enough, Sam was dishing up breakfast next to Carter. Both of them were laughing and clearly excited to be reunited. Cam looked at me as if to say 'see? I told you' before going to get her own food.

I looked back out the window not expecting to see Nash but thinking about him anyway. Thirty seconds later the whole room erupted in howling. I turned around to see everyone watching me, half of them laughing, the other half howling.

"He's not even here and you're still staring at him," Ryan ribbed from across the room then pretended to gag himself. "We're trying to eat breakfast here."

"I was watching the ocean you idiots."

"Mhmm," they hummed in unison.

I ignored them but I didn't look out the window again.

"Are you going to tell me what's going on between you and Nash?" Cam asked when she sat back down.

"Nothing," I replied lamely.

"From what I hear, you two have been attached at the hip."

"He's attached to my hip," I corrected.

"And yet you don't seem bothered by it."

"It's fine. We obviously get along and I have someone to hang out with that isn't married."

"It's okay to admit that you enjoy having him back in your life. No one will judge you."

"It's not like that," I said. "It's nice having the company but it's not like it used to be. I don't have those feelings for him anymore. It's just a friendship—or will become a friendship."

"Come on Penn, you don't look at him like he's just a friend."

"I probably look at him in confusion because I'm trying to figure out what any of this could possibly lead to. I also look at him because he's hot—what? I may not have feelings for him anymore but I'm not blind. He's still hot."

"Does any of this have to do with Jason?"

"What about Jason?"

Cam waved her hand at me. "You and Jason."

"We both know there's no me and Jason."

"That's not 100% true and you know it. You are going to California to visit him."

"Yeah, because I'd like to get laid," I laughed. "I have many years to make up for."

"You have Nash sleeping under the same roof. You could easily get laid without going to Cali," she shot back.

"Only if I wanted to marry him, which I don't. Not anymore anyway. Plus, Nash doesn't do casual sex and, even if he did, that would not be good for our relationship."

"Oh, so you admit you're in a relationship?"

I glared at my best friend. "It wouldn't be good for our friendship," I corrected. "Relationship is an umbrella term that includes both platonic and romantic relationships and you know it."

Cam looked smug. I turned to Penny and frowned. "How do you live with her?" Penny smiled and stuck her cheerio covered hand in her mouth.

****

We were almost half way through vacation and the house was mostly empty. I think the lack of privacy was finally catching up to people. Since everyone else left to explore the island, I decided to stay. Nash left with Ryan and Jane, which was fine because I needed my own time.

Nash had been quiet since yesterday's conversation about running. We still hung out most of the day but it was almost like he was waiting for me to initiate any activity; afraid I'd reject his idea. I half expected Nash to show up with his pillow to sleep on my floor, only he didn't. And yes, there was this small part of me that was disappointed.

I stood on the patio overlooking the yard that gently sloped down to the beach. It wasn't a great beach like you see in Hawaii ads and brochures. There was no good surfing and the sand was littered with rocks and wood debris.

"It almost feels like I need a sweatshirt." I jumped when Nash leaned his elbows on the rails next to me, watching the tall grass sway in the wind. "I didn't mean to scare you.

"Just wasn't expecting anyone home yet."

"Yeah, they'll be a while. I needed a break so I came back early."

"It would be a good time to take a nap," I suggested.

"Don't try to push me away," he teased. "Though I might. I was hoping the weather would be nicer so I could lay in the sun but—" he gestured to the less than glamorous weather.

"Yeah, it's not a great day for that.

The wind was really picking up and the tall grass planted around the yard was leaning heavily under the pressure. The dry, desert like heat that had been here at the beginning of the trip was gone and replaced by a breeze with a cool touch to it. I could almost feel the moisture in the air.

"Want to go for a walk on the beach?" he asked.

"I thought you needed a break?"

"From everyone else, not from you."

I wasn't sure what to say to that so I proceeded to walk.

"You guys got a good deal on the property, didn't you?" He asked as he sidestepped jagged pieces of wood.

"Hawaii is Hawaii, there is no good deal on property. Only expensive and more expensive. We didn't buy because of the beach—"

"No shit."

I glared at his quick response, then continued. "We bought because it's quiet out here."

We walked for a bit. It was different this time. There was no one around, watching. Nash asked me a ton of questions. I asked a few in return. We shared a lot; some new and some we knew. The cool weather and lack of howling and meowing made it easy to let my guard down. I had no one to impress--not Nash, not my family, not anyone. It was just Nash and I. Despite knowing him since high school and him knowing me for a few years, we were meeting for the first time.

We walked for over an hour then turned and walked back. In that time the conversation never waned. It still seemed like there was more to say, so when we got back, we sat in the grass that bordered the beach with our feet in the sand and talked some more.

I learned more about Nash in that few hours than I had in twenty years. I never knew him and he never knew me because I was nothing but a boy trying to impress another boy. Now I was a man with nothing to lose and so much to gain.

"Are you ready to head in?" I asked. "It's getting chilly."

Nash glanced at the ocean, disappointment in his eyes. But when he looked back, he smiled. "If we must."

We both stood up and shook the sand off our pants.

"My ass is wet from the grass," Nash said, patting his butt. He turned a bit so he could look at the damage. The fabric on his tush damp.

I felt my pants and laughed, "Mine too."

We walked inside and shut the door. Nash looked outside at the swaying grass and the choppy water and sighed. "It feels like a storm is coming."

I stared at the dark clouds on the horizon then looked at Nash, realizing my thoughts were just as turbulent as the thunderheads gathering in the distance.

A storm was coming alright.