Time Flies Ch. 01

As we recharged our drinks and got more food, Carole went over to Sheriff Griswold and said "Can Marie and me try some of your boor-bon?"

"It's 'bur-bun'," said the Sheriff, and to my surprise he said "And sure! you can have a sip."

He got a couple of plastic drink cups and poured just a little bit into each cup, and handed one to each girl. Carole and Marie seemed amazed and excited... and then they drank the liquid.

"UUGH!" Carole exclaimed as she coughed. "YUCK! That stuff's AWFUL!"

"Yeah!" Marie said with a 'bitter beer face'. "How do you drink that stuff?"

"That's why they're called 'adult beverages', ladies." said the Sheriff. "And why you don't want to drink any until you're grown up."

"You got that right, Grandpa Grizz!" Carole said. The Sheriff and I were chuckling as we headed back to our seats for the game, with a little life lesson delivered...

* * * * * * * * * * * * * *

In the second half, Alabama seemed to be gaining control of the game. They drove down in the 3rd quarter and took the lead when the Wildcats defense bit on a run-pass option play the wrong way, and the Alabama QB ran in for the easy score. After all, he'd been 3rd in the Heisman Trophy voting.

"And it's 13-10 Alabama, and the Wildcats have the ball on their 30 yard line. And Johnson hands it to Appletree and... no, it's a fake and Johnson fires, AND IT IS COM-PLETE! Jamaal Washington is streaking down the right sideline, and it's TOUCHDOWN WILDCATS!"

The Atlanta crowd was a lot more Alabama than Wildcats, but our fans were making up for it in the volume of their roaring. It was 17-13 Wildcats, going into the fourth quarter...

* * * * * * * * * * * * * *

"And the Wildcats have to kick a field goal. Kevin 'Fear the Frames' Rodriguez splits the uprights from 42 yards out, and it's 20-13 Wildcats." said the Wildcats announcer.

And then, something just changed. Carole was getting nervous. Bowser seemed to be getting antsy, going around the house and sniffing at everything. And I could just feel the vibe, as well.

Alabama began running their RPO, and the Wildcats just did not have an answer for it. They began gashing the Wildcats defensive line, and they'd figured it out... their fresh linemen were double-teaming Wildcat linebacker Davis Smith, and his speed and agility were neutralized.

"And it's a touchdown for Alabama," said the announcer, "and their crowd is going bonkers in the stadium, adding to the team's energy."

"The Wildcats just have to figure out a way to move the ball, get some points." said the color man. "It's anybody's game now, 20-20."

"And there's the kickoff." said the announcer. "Jamaal Washington takes the short kick and runs it up to the 36 yard line. Good field position for the Cats. And they're up to the line, and they hand it to Appletree, and they stuff him!"

"What are they DOING?" asked the stunned color man. "They keep trying to run it into the strength of the Alabama defense! Appletree has 88 yards, but he's taken a lot of hits and he's tired!"

I was wondering the same thing myself as I watched. I didn't understand the plays the Wildcats were calling, either. Appletree was just not effective against the inspired Alabama defensive line.

"And Johnson back to pass and OH MY GOODNESS! Alabama almost picked that pass off!" said the announcer.

"They are double-teaming Jamaal Washington." said the color man. "They are not going to let him beat them, but Johnson still tried to force it in there, and it's a miracle he didn't pay for it with an interception."

"The Alabama defender can't believe it hit his hands and bounced off." said the play-by-play man. "And the Wildcats have to punt. There's 2:32 left in the game, and the Tide has it on the Alabama 33 yard line. And they come up to the line, and THERE HE GOES! Thirteen yards for the quarterback! He kept the ball."

"Wildcats need a time out here." said the color man. "They have to regroup."

"And the ball is snapped, and the Alabama running back goes for twelve yards!" said the announcer. "And the Wildcats finally call a timeout."

The air in The Cabin was so thick that one could cut it with a katana. Everyone was on the edge of their seats... except Todd, who was leaning back and enjoying it.

"And here we go." said the announcer as the seemingly endless timeouts-for-television finally ended and the game resumed. "And Alabama takes the ball, the quarterback fakes the handoff, pulls the ball, and throws over the middle for 20 yards!"

"That timeout did the Wildcats no good." said the color analyst. "They looked totally flatfooted. They're on their heels."

Those of us at The Cabin were on our heels, too, and we were feeling the hope slowly ebbing. Bowser went into the greatroom to get away from us.

"Thirty one seconds to go, Alabama on the Wildcats 15 yard line. It's a chip-shot field goal from here. And the quarterback tries to pull the ball out AND HE IS STUFFED! Davis Smith! He just ran over the Alabama center and met the quarterback and running back at the ball!"

"Twenty-two seconds left, and Alabama will try a 34-yard field goal." said the announcer. "And the Cats call time! They're going to ice the kicker. And it's a thirty-second timeout, not a full one."

"That hurts the Wildcats." said the color analyst. "They'd love for that shaky Alabama kicker to have to think of this for five full minutes."

"Keep hope alive, Daddy." Carole said.

"No way." said Todd with a grin. "It's all over." I'm not sure who gave Todd the meaner look, Carole or Teresa.

A moment later, they lined up. "And the Cats are out of time outs. There's the snap, the hold is perfect, and... HE MISSED IT! HE MISSED IT! WIDE LEFT! HE YANKED IT! THE WILDCATS HAVE LIFE! WE'RE STILL ALIVE!"

We were cheering and high-fiving, and Carole was 'nah-nah'-ing Todd, who just grinned and took the ribbing. My headset came off, and I heard the television color announcer say "Alabama does not deserve to win the National Championship with that poor quality of kicking! They simply do not deserve it!"

"And we go to overtime." said the radio announcer as I settled back in to watching. "The Wildcats will have the ball first. And Appletree is running hard, but he just can't get free of that Alabama defensive pursuit. He gets one. And the ball is snapped, and they run Appletree again!"

"For goodness sake!" said the color man. "Appletree is doing all he can, but this playcalling is ridiculous! Come on, throw the ball!"

"And they snap the ball, and Appletree goes back to pass," said the announcer, "and he has absolutely nowhere to go with the ball. Jamaal Washington was blanketed, the tight end was held up at the line, and Johnson was being rushed from all sides. He just threw it away."

"And now Kevin Rodriguez is on for the 44-yard field goal, and it's up and FEAR THE FRAMES! He puts it right down the middle! Cats are up 23-20 in the first OT!"

"And that is what good kicking will do for you." said the color man, maybe rubbing it in a little bit.

"And it's Alabama's turn from the 25-yard line." said the announcer. "And there's the snap, and the running back gashes the Wildcats for 11 yards and a first down! And they're up to the line, the quarterback takes the ball back from the running back, and he's being chased! He's scrambling around, he's going backwards, he's trying to get away, but NO! Down he goes! Davis Smith runs him down!"

I'm sure it was bonkers in the stadium in Atlanta. It was bonkers in The Cabin, too.

"And Alabama is up to the line." said the radio announcer. "They're in a deep hole, and their field goal kicker is worthless. Second down, twenty-six yards to go. The quarterback takes the snap, they're chasing him, he lets it fly, and... NOOOOOOOOOO!!"

I heard it before the television showed it. The Alabama wide receiver had left the Wildcats cornerback in the dust, and Gregg Scott had stumbled as he tried to get over the top. He was not in time. The ball settled right into the Alabama receiver's arms, and he cruised the last five yards into the end zone.

It was over. And it was pain.

As I fell back into my chair, my back hurt, but my heart hurt more. Meanwhile, Carole had found the remote and had expertly used it to turn off the TV.

"Hey!" said Todd, grinning at Carole. " I wanted to hear that!"

Teresa gave him a backhand slap to his chest. "Don't push your luck." she warned her husband. "I can always go and get the red crowbar, and hand it to her."

Carole was looking at Todd, her little arms crossed as she guarded the remote. Then she turned to me and said "Daddy, Uncle Todd is happy that the Wildcats lost."

"Yeah, I know." I said. "Something's wrong in the head with that guy." Todd just grinned some more.

Meanwhile, Marie was starting to cry. I put my arm around her and said "It's okay, Marie. The other team wants to win, too. First world problem, you know."

"I know." said Marie, very sadly. "But I wanted the Wild-cats to win." She got up and went to Selena, who took her into her arms and comforted her little sister, telling her it was okay.

Cindy texted me: "70-0 really does hurt less."

I replied "Don't tell Carole that. Todd is already taking a crowbar beatdown, and not from me."

Part 5 - Slender in Houndstooth

Tuesday, January 7th. I looked bleary-eyed and felt worse as I came into Police Headquarters at 6:00am.

"Morning, sir." said the Duty Desk Patrolman at the side entrance. "Tough game last night."

"Yeah, it was." I said. I went by the Duty Desk, who said that three drunk driving arrests had been made, but nothing more. Then I walked down towards my office.

No one was in Vice, and that's because they were in MCD, which was full. Jerome Davis had made no less than six pots of coffee. Theo looked like he had been found lying on the roadside and dragged in by Tiger Mom.

I went to my office. When I turned on the light and looked around, nothing was out of the ordinary, until I noticed something: my 'I Beat Slender Man' statue was missing!

And then I heard noise from MCD. I went down the hall and into the side entrance. When I came in, the Alabama fight song 'Yea Alabama!' began playing.

But that was not the worst of it. Sitting on Joanne Warner's desk was my statue. On top of the Slender Man's featureless head was a perfectly fitting 'Bear Bryant' hat, the houndstooth pattern in crimson and white.

The Detectives were watching me as I looked at the statue, then looked up. Joanne was sitting at one of the other desks, holding her baby Tony. "Good morning, sir!" she said brightly.

I just turned back to the Slender Man statue in the Bear Bryant hat, and couldn't help myself. I sat down in the chair and began laughing. Everyone else started laughing with me.

"Okay, this is good." I said through my laughter. "This is good."

"Roll Tide!" Joanne said.

"Around the bowl and down the hole, roll Tide roll." said a most very dour Teresa Croyle. The late Grumpy Cat had nothing on the Iron Wolf when it came to grumpy facial expressions. "Oh my God..." she said when she saw the Slender Man in his new headgear.

Then Cindy came in, looking all happy and cheerful. "Hi everyone!" she said. Joanne started up 'Yea, Alabama!' again on the computer.

"Okay, let's see this little guy." I said as I rolled the chair over to where Joanne was. She handed me Tony, who didn't put up any fuss as I held him.

"You look like you've had some practice at that, sir." said Teddy Parker.

"Lots of it." I said. "And nothing is better than holding your child in your arms. Isn't that right, Joanne?"

"Yes sir!" said Joanne happily. "There's nothing like it."

"And that is a cluuuuue for you and Janice, Teddy... and for you and Nareese, Theo." I added.

"I hear you, sir." said Theo agreeably.

Doughnuts were brought in by the new Vice Lieutenant, that being Rudistan. He loved seeing the Slender Man in the Bear Bryant hat. "Great start to my first coffee klatch here this year." he said. "And of course, having Commander Ross at it with us!"

"Cloud to my silver lining today, Rudistan." said Cindy. Then she said "Seriously, congratulations. I have no idea what you did wrong from them to do that to you."

"Just clean, wholesome living, ma'am." said Rudistan jovially. I took that cue to hand Tony back to Joanne and take my statue back to my office.

I left the crimson and white 'Bear Bryant' houndstooth hat on the Slender Man's head. It would remain there for decades to come...

* * * * * * * * * * * * * *

12:30pm, Tuesday, January 7th. The Sheriff and I went into the Cop Bar for lunch. We were going into the 'Command' room, but we heard our names called from the back of the regular back room. At a back table were Theo and Franklin Washington.

"Y'all sit with us." said Franklin. "I need to tell you about some stuff, anyway."

"Sure." I said. I went up and placed the Sheriff's and my food orders at the bar, then came back and sat down with them.

"Terrible ending to that game last night." I heard the Sheriff say as I sat down. "Jamaal must be hurting."

"Yes sir. He said the worst of it was ending his career that way." said Franklin. "No next game, no chance of redemption. But he's okay, and he's looking forward to getting ready for the combines and the NFL draft." We nodded.

"So what's going on, guys?" I asked.

Franklin said "Commander, and Sheriff, I trust you guys to not say anything. And Paulina might've told you already, Commander Troy. I was just talking to Theo about what's going on in the D.A.'s Office."

"I haven't had much chance to talk to Paulina." I said. "So no, I haven't heard any 'inside baseball' on anything yet."

"More like 'inside dodgeball'." said Franklin. "I'll let Paulina tell you her story. All she's told me is that she hasn't decided what to do yet. And neither have I."

"What are your options?" I asked.

"I talked to my wife Susie about it, especially last night." said Franklin. "As you know, she's a television show producer over in the City, and she's making good coin with that. We've got a good bit saved up, too. So we'd be okay financially... if I took a leave of absence while I run for Nance's judicial seat."

"Is that what you want to do?" I asked.

Franklin shrugged. "After I saw that video of what that clown Ripley said about Tasha, I was fired up. So I know that you and Paulina both are even more fired up. And Paulina's never bought in that Miriam Walters is a racist, but I've always suspected it. And after this, I just don't want to work for that woman anymore."

Sheriff Griswold said "I understand how you feel, Franklin. And this may come across as selfish to say, but I hope you'll think about what it will mean if you walk away. You've put a lot of bad people out of the drug business and into jail, a I'd sure hate to lose a guy like you. And if both you and Paulina go? We'd be devastated."

Franklin said "I appreciate that, Sheriff. But there are other people out there, that will do a good job prosecuting the criminals..."

* * * * * * * * * * * * * *

As we drove back towards Police Headquarters, Sheriff Griswold asked me "You find out anything else about Jackson Ripley?"

"I did a little 'off the books' investigation, as did Laura." I said. "He was a P.I., licensed in our State as well as the the State west of us, did a lot of work in the Southport area. Before that, he was an Agent in the Bureau of Indian Affairs, and had an okay career. Miriam picked him up a couple of months ago... but after she'd already hired Artis Lattimore and Greg Mitchum. And the State and local budgets only allow for two Investigators, and more than two is rare. Even the City only has two per each of their districts."

"So you're saying Walters hired this guy knowing that she would drop him soon?" the Sheriff astutely asked.

"So I read the riddle, sir." I said. "I think she picked him up just for this Police entrapment scheme. And so, with the knowledge that someone put it in his head to inform me of who I am and have him goad me by calling my daughter that name, I asked myself the question: how did this guy come to Miriam's attention? Did she just pick his name out of the pile? Or did someone bring him to her? And was that someone the real person who wanted Ripley to goad me?"

"And as well as I know you, Crowbar," said the Sheriff, "I'm betting you think someone in the Press brought Ripley to Walters's attention. Lester Holder, maybe?"

"I dunno about Penis Holder." I said. "But maybe someone in the Press. And I wonder how many of those people in that parking lot had KXTC on speed dial, if they didn't have hidden cameras there already?"

"And did Walters know this, or not?" asked the Sheriff. "Was she colluding with the Media? Or was she set up herself?"

"No data yet, Sheriff." I said. "No data yet..."

* * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Meanwhile...

Cindy Ross and Teresa Croyle were having lunch at Laura's favorite Soup & Salad place.

"Looks like we're going to have some weather come in." said Cindy as she looked out the window, seeing the wisps of high-altitude clouds coming in.

"You should get a job with KXTC as their weather girl." Teresa said, pretending to be serious.

"Yeah, right." Cindy said. "My dad, my Canadian dad, he could predict weather better than anyone I ever knew. Rain, snow, anything, he seemed to always get it right a day ahead of time."

"He was a farmer, wasn't he?" Teresa said. Cindy nodded, and Teresa said "When I was growing up, Alexis and I had weather ropes to tell what the weather was like. If the rope swung from side to side, it was windy. If it got wet, it was raining. If it turned white, it was snowing." Cindy chuckled at the joke.

"Okay," Teresa asked, "so why did you invite me to this lunch?"

"Ranks are off, so speak freely and candidly." Cindy said. "I just want to know why y'all kept me out of the loop with these personnel moves. That meeting was the first I'd heard anything about it. Is it really that bad with me?"

Teresa looked rather wide-eyed at that last comment, and she hastily said "No, I don't think things are bad at all. I didn't tell you because I thought you already knew, and that's God's honest truth. I'll add to it that I only knew because the Sheriff, Don, and Tanya talked about it in front of me at an Angels meeting, and then didn't say any more until they came to me and said it was a done deal."

"They didn't even tell you that your Precinct Lieutenants were being shuffled, you were getting Roy McGhillie, and Rudistan was moving to Vice?" Cindy said, incredulity in her voice. "Come on, Teresa."

"Scout's Honor, Cindy." Teresa said. "It was presented to me by my boss as a fait accompli. And maybe I could've objected, and the whole thing would've collapsed like a house of cards, but I thought the changes were good."

"Well," said Cindy, "I guess this is a 'stay in your lane' situation, but seeing as I'm the Personnel Officer for the entire Police Force, it might've been nice for me to know."

Teresa said "Since the ranks are off, I'll be blunt: if you'd start coming to the Angels Meetings again, and the coffee klatches, you'd probably have known. If you're asking me if Don, the Chief, and the Sheriff purposely kept this from you, my answer would be 'no'."

"Okay." Cindy said, her voice conveying her desire to move on. "So let me ask this... do you think they put Lieutenant DeLong in 2nd Precinct because of that Federal audit?"

Teresa said "It crossed my mind. But if that had been the reason, I'd have voiced objections. And you know how stubborn Don can be; he would never do something just to appease a race-baiter like Ava Hinds, and it wouldn't matter anyway since that whole thing was rigged to be a shakedown."