All Comments on 'Time to Trade Up Pt. 02'

Very good but not enough about how Cheryl's life went after the divorce. Because I enjoyed the story I gave 5 stars.

VERY well written!!! Wow, the 'breeding' part was very erotic, because it was so realistic. Your characters are strong and interact extremely well, thus the story never wanes, never drags and the reader stays interested! 5+++/5

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Thank you for posting this great, two-part masterpiece!

Another Disney story. Prince Charming lives happily ever after and the wicked witch gets fucked over.

If I wanted a Dick and Jane story, I would order one.

sight vs site. C'mon man. Too many writers here made that mistake.

First part was so much better than this. We needed to hear more about Cheryl and her stupidity. Sorry

Wonderful story. He should give Tara one more baby and pork AMY when she's fertile. Hopefully, they all do well, and Cheryl has a life of loneliness, deceit and anything negative that can happen in her life. Too bad she couldn't get knocked-up by a low-life, and have health issues, then she can really realize what she lost!

3 stars - this was just a fantasy story, but sort of OK.

At the start of this story I thought I would hate it but i'd give it a try. I loved it. 5* Very well written and thought out.

It got too corny in the end, way to corny.

Scores 4/5

Why would they not just do IVF with Marvin's sperm?

Was going very well till the author had the male MC do the same thing he divorced his 1st wife for regardless of the slightly different circumstances. The new wife demonstrated all the correct responses at the beginning but the tale descended into territory no loving couple would allow.

1st chapter an interesting 4-5. Last chapter -1.

You are a better story teller than this. Sorry.

DJS

What was in this chapter wasn't bad, but possibly it went on far too long with the intent to hammer home the "trade up" aspect of Marvin's new life.

I am sorry but this part destroyed a good story. First, what is Greta? For a true lesbian who had no romantic or sexual interest in Marvin she enjoyed the fucking quite alot, dunno how that works. How Greta treated Amy was disgusting. 'I would divorce Amy in second if you hadnt a dick', great how much she loves Amy. Since she is now a bisexual instead of a lesbian she can do it. Then there was his attitude. He treated the whole thing with such a carefree attitude. Why wasnt he like that when his ex wanted to fuck around? His reason was not better or worse than hers. The final nail was the 'I cant do it if I dont enjoy myself'. Marvin, the biggest hypocrite of the story but atleast Cheryl was a sad old women, yay.

Well, that went into a strange direction: Fantasy land. First off, true lesbians might use a turkey baster, but they would never allow anything as "nasty" as a male penis to enter their bodies. Also, do lesbians refer to themselves as "husband and wife"? I don't think so; I thought it was "wife and wife", or perhaps the infamous and gaggingly politically correct, "life partner".

Furthermore, I can't see three women allowing a man to impregnate one of them in the situation you described - and remain friends. Stranger things have happened I guess, but I don't think it would breed anything but a screaming catfight and maximum hate. You couldn't pay me enough to be that guy. These are wives, dude! They could say you did fine tonight, and then you wake up with your balls stuffed in your mouth because they had a change of heart and decided to hate you for it. LOL

You wrote a good story, but I think the second part was unneeded and more than a bit silly. Maybe a few more paragraphs added to part one would have sufficed. Still a good story though, so I give you 5 stars as encouragement to keep writing and because I think you're about to get hammered by other readers. Thanks for posting.

My gods this was a hot mess of epic proportions. Do you understand the difference between husband and wife? Lesbians do not refer to their spouse as husband. Jesus christ. Second, the whole "breeding" was tasteless and preposterous. Did you seem to forget that artificial insemination existed or did you just have to create this juvenile little fantasy of yours where Marvin is a fucking stud horse and the women are all just mares waiting to mounted. Let's not even mention that the whole last half of this chapter is a total departure of the development you started in the first. Fuck me this was awful.

This must be an alternate timeline where nobody has invented turkey basters.

My opinion is that this chapter was not needed. Two more paragraphs on part one would have made a better read. Sometimes "more" is too much.

I thought Greta was a lesbian?

It wasn't as good as the 1st one. Some times it's best to not prolong stories especially if you don't have anything new to add. We barely heard from cheryl. It was ok. I would probably read the 1st story again but not the second.

That is how you end a story.

That got fucking weird. And not in a good way.

2**

You forgot a few things. Like Marvin winning the Canadian Lottery (tax free), winning the Nobel prize for Economics, and living to be 100 years old. Of course Cheryl contracted HIV while fucking a tall beautiful soccer player, from Haiti (French speaking), who looked like a hunk but had a 5-inch cock (steroids), who dropped her when his husband discovered Cheryl couldn't be a conduit to the Canadian citizenship they were hoping to marry into.

Other than that it was just your typical life story of an average man kicking a grotesque cheating slut to the curb and marrying Miss Universe. Ho hum.

Thanks for all the effort.

I laughed and rolled my eyes several times as i read this story. 5 stars

Not as good as the first one, needed more Cheryl in the story in my mind. Thanks for this.

The first chapter was fine, but the second chapter was absolute garbage. Just ridiculous. You should have quit while you were ahead.

2 Stars

I don't care about Tara, Greta, or Amy.

This story was about Marvin and Cheryl. So where is Cheryl?

Should have just let Chapter 1 be the end

I enjoyed the fist part, but this was too weird for me.

An absolutely perfect ending to the series. A great dynamic for the start of a new family!! 5 Stars!!

I commented after the first chapter that it was so predictable not to bother finishing. The breeding events were well done and described. Good job!

This story starts off well, but each page is worse than the previous. Wooden dialogue and cardboard characters have stolen the story.

Really well done. Tried and true plot line that you took in a clever direction. Keep writing!

Absolutely loved it. Mistakes and all. Only 4 days between part one and part two, thank you. I'm not sure why you made it two parts because it's only eleven pages total. The first part did kind of drag a bit and the second part seamed to be rushed, but as a total story. 5 stars. Thank you.

There were a few places where the narrative was a bit awkward, but overall the story was great. I couldn't remember why Tara couldn't give him a child, but you solved that question for me in the end. Well donjon the entire series - 5*

This is exactly what I thought would happen. The first story was decent and could've been left alone. But no, a second chapter had to be added which threw it off the rails.

1-star.

-JMFC

Too contrived, too many errors ffs how many times does Amy get called Greta's husband.

Do some research, if IVF has failed, natural fertilisation is even less likely...

As for Tara not knowing her BF was a lesbian is stupid and Greta not speaking to Tara about her plans to get pregnant even more so.

I'm surprised Tara and Amy put up with him wanting to make love to Greta.

Given that Cheryl was as affected by her decision I'm surprised there was so little about her.

EDITOR!!!!!! isn't Greta a lesbian in the first story?

Unbelievably twisted. Greta has a "husband" (a wife in ch1) but he is a she and doesn't have a cock. Greta hates cocks but has orgasms with Marvin. In the meantime, all manner of rationalizations are offered as to how this wonderful dynamic ultimately results in a baby boy. Does he call Amy Daddy? And the writer goes to some sardonic lengths to put down Cheryl for her narrow-minded and selfish pursuits to have more diverse human experiences. I agree with the assessment. What I don't understand is how the justification for what Marvin and Greta did is fundamentally different, Other than getting permission beforehand of the parties at interest, with the significant exception of the baby, who had no voice in being born into this bizarre situation. of course, its all about Amy and Greta's "needs" to have a child. But wait... It's implied such situations aren't uncommon in Sweden, that paragon of virtue and morality, so it must be OK. Is monogamy Ok or not? Cheryl wasn't monogamous and lied about her intentions and actions. Greta wasn't monogamous either, but she was upfront about her (selfish?) desire to have a child (but apparently not self-aware enough to recognize she didn't hate penises after all, and not just for function.) This is one fucked up fairytale that fails miserably in ch2; it goes to great lengths to pander to the PC crowd, specially the LGBT bunch, but I guess if it feels good it must be right...unless you're Cheryl. Never did get how Greta was so magically adept at compartmentalizing sex and love and friendship just when it was convenient to do so. And Tara being not only Ok but overjoyed with Marvin's "selfless" act of breeding Greta? Yea, right.

I liked it, liked it a lot. But as excited as sinking a 45 putt to win the club championship?? Sorry, I don't dig golf. Everything else was great. It's nice to read a sweet story every once in a while. 7 stars, because, as usual, the Bear has dismal math skills. The Bear approves. keep writing, and I'll keep reading.

The BEAR

Good grief, what happened to this story?

The first was nothing but another carbon copy of a thousand others stories, this one is a carbon copy of what my dog left on the lawn, though to be honest I've never rolled my eyes at my dogs dump like i did with this......mess.

I didn't know what to expect from Part 2, Part 1 seemed to be a complete story. Well I was surprised by what was written. It was a load of crap and I thought it was demeaning of your characters. No question as to your writing abilities, but the plot was lacking.

I read some of the comments. Of course most people would not decide on actual sex as a way to impregnate a surrogate. They would choose artificial insemination. But the author decided to make his story a little more fun. Greta was a great friend. Marvin wanted to do it in a "loving manner" for his own sense of 'rightness'.

I found that perfectly acceptable if a little different.

The author told a story about a group of people. maybe he let did not spend as much time on each of the characters as some of the readers would have liked. Too bad. It was HIS story to tell. To some of the naysayers out there...YOU try to write a story. Post it. Especially on Loving wives. I bet you will be crucified and your ego trashed. Having written a few stories, I will tell you it is damn hard. I applaud Sunshineman for his efforts.

You really should have stopped with Chapter 1. This went off the rails and is still careening into the abyss.

Part 2 was a waste of time . Shame . Enjoyed part 1 .

I'm not sure what's happened here. The first chapter was well written and a good read. This one is so poorly written it was had to tolerate enough to get to the end. The multiple references to Greta's husband were confusing and the stilted was this is written seems like it is not even the same author.

this is getting worse. The original story was about Cheryl and Marvin (who names a character Marvin?). I dont really want to read three pages on how perfect Marvins life is. The hot lesbian pro golfer wants his baby? And she only wants it straight from the source? No turkey basters. Riiight... And of course Tara goes along with it. Riiight... And Cheryl (remember Cheryl?) was getting forced out of her low rent condo but we never heard anything relevant about her. Please stop here. Marvin is on top of the world and Cheryl is sad. End of story.

Greta has a wife. First chapter was shakespearean compared to this garbage.

"Three gentle woman's hands were touching her back, shoulders, breasts causing her to shudder like she had goose bumps all over her body.!" Maybe you can tell us who the third woman was who touched Greta! Sorry, but that didn't work for me. The career with Tara was absolutely fine, but then your circus with the impregnation of Greta killed the story for me. With today's technology it would have been easy to get her pregnant with his sperm. But of course that wouldn't have been suitable for a sex story. It is a mystery to me where you have the belief that women and men, except for a lot of money, give themselves up to such experiments.

Have to agree with Wargamer, this part was corny. It started out fine, but the whole everybody get naked during the breeding so everyone could 'feel the love' was pretty sad. But it's a happy ending so I gave it four stars.

I think this was done in a hurry, and not very well done either. So many uses of husband when Amy would be her WIFE. I skimmed the last 2 full pages of a lame "impregnation team"? Wtf is that? Barely any mention of the ex-wife or his kids...

The first chapter was good enoigh on its own, should probably just pull this one and leave it as a standalone. 2*

A turkey baster would have worked just as well.

Really enjoyed the first part of this series. This second part not so much. Other than the first page I don't understand what the last two ages were for. They weren't really part of the original storyline would have been better if you hadn't published past the first page.

Yeah, this story sure went sideways fast. I enjoyed part 1, this not so much. In fact, this was a different story altogether. The 3 way wank story disappointed. I was hoping for more of the aftermath of the "hall pass" story. I stopped reading at the beginning of the knock up the lesbian bit and just skimmed, looking for more about Cheryl. I found a brief mention at the end.

wonderful happy story

First part was ok, second part was drivel.

Have to go with the flow. 1st part great! 2nd part sucks. Was it really the same author? If so, what happened to you in the twain?

Anonymousabout 7 hours ago

Hmm

First part was ok, second part was drivel.

The author is a more than competent writer but, despite the early promise, of exciting things to come the story never ascended from 1st gear, or took a hairpin bend, or crasjed headlong into a oncoming doppelganger tale.

It wasn't badly written but everything was all rather monotone and predictable. Where were the hero's doubts, lapses in behaviour, flashes of petulance, glimpses of human frailty? And where were the plot reversals or changes of direction? And the ending was just plain silly.

I am probably being more critical that I would normally be because I think the writer has some ability and will hopedully learn to write stories where the road twists and turns, floods and cracks, and occasionally leads to a dead end.

LA

This is one of those second chapters to a story that I don’t think was really necessary. It didn’t really add to the first story, it didn’t really complete and unfinished story, and it seem to do nothing but muddy the relationship that Greta, Tara, and Marvin had. Cheryl was a side note and you never did let us meet Amy. A small drop in ratings because of unnecessary use of cyberspace.

Very happy you took the time to complete the story, great job

This second part is just a crock of shit.

I found the first chapter interesting. That being said, I can’t believe wifey didn’t have a new boyfriend lined up, before moving out for 6 months. I realize a lot of this resonates with 40-50 year old women. However, feminism has actually done the opposite of empowering women. In order for a woman to have kids and raise a family, they need to have a hard working, commuted man in the picture, to provide the environment they need to do this. The one thing woman have at their disposal, is their sex. Thanks to the “ movement” they now give that away, like candy. As the story pointed out, finding a man to fuck you, not so hard. Finding a man to take care of you? Good luck with that!

Gave it 4 stars. Last chapter was boring, and not necessary.

Foursome?!

Yikes! If Greta now falls on hard times, the courts say that she can sue Marvin for child support, and get it 100% of the time.

This is way too risky, and Marvin's behavior is way to risque to be the foundation of anything solid and lasting with Tara.

Nitpic was right; "This second part is just a crock of shit."

I liked the story. That said, Marvin having sex with Greta seemed gratuitous, not consistent with the 1st part. It’s realistic enough for a lesbian asking her best male friend to sire her child. It’s not consistent with Marvin’s experiences for him to agree that quickly. He wouldn’t risk Tara for it.

Liked the first half, except I can’t believe Cheryl didn’t have a fuck buddy lined up for the day she moved out. It’s true any average female can find a guy to fuck her at just about any time she desires. The reverse is not true, unless the guy is renting it. Finding a “loving” experience takes a great deal more effort for both sexes. No way in hell would I have allowed the 6 month hall pass. Divorcing her was exactly what he needed to do. As to the whole breeding Greta thing, well, that was like a Hallmark version of a porn fantasy. These are wealthy people, using his sperm for in vitro fertilization would clearly have provided the best chance for pregnancy without all the “take our seed” nonsense. I know this is an erotica website, but that wasn’t erotic.

The actual writing and character development was very good. Thanks for sharing.

A boy being raised by lesbians, yeah that kid certainly isn’t going to be fucked up beyond belief. I’m sure that will work out very well. Fucking modern bullshit, that kid is going to be considered the weird kid in school. Even with his “father” around, he’s never going to be normal. We know this because of the stats surrounded kids raised in homosexual households. Lesbians have domestic violence rates that are through the absolute roof in comparison to straight relationships and the kids by every metric turn out worse.

For all the bluster about the father being a good man, he’s really just another liberal passive bitch. It’s not a surprise his wife didn’t respect him.

This is awful, Marvin is a hair away from being as bad as Cheryl is made out to be lol

Found part 2 overdone, should have closed story at the end of part 1. Marvin is no better than Cheryl.

In the end, Marvin was joke. He lost all credibility as a stand up guy.

I enjoyed the first part, even though there were a lot of issues and the way Cheryl acted seemed very out of place for someone married for so long. Women don't just drastically act like that. You set it up like Roberto was "the other man" and that the two had been having an emotional affair, and possibly/porbably pushing her to do this. That fell through, making what Cheryl did even more confusing. And from the story, she didn't even do anything with Roberto.

The seconds chapter, with Greta and the baby, was just silly. Fun and enjoyable, yes. Still, silly and completely unrealistic. The entire situation was created so Marvin could fuck Greta, and just came off as being completely contrived and meaningless. Criticism of Marvin in this chapter is warranted. Greta should have asked Tara. And if Greta and Tara were such close friends, why didn't Greta tell Tara she was a lesbian?

I still gave it a generous 5*, simply because I rounded up, and 4 would have been a bit too harsh.

This second part was poor,a pass the sick bag story.Why did Amy and Greta still live apart when the baby was born?.What sort of relationship is that?.Why did Amy not move?.

Reread this, it was actually worse than corny it was totally over baked, it got stupid very fast.

I downgraded a further point to 3/5.

wrong cat

Lost it in the 2nd part

Very disjointed from the first

First was a 3.5/5

2nd is 0.5/5

Wonderful

Chicoutomi ? That is a hell of a change from Dallas or Nashville. It is not exactly warm and the young people have fled the city - also I think fashion has never been seen there. Cheryl would be way out of place. There are cool places in PQ but Chicotoumi is not one. It's a different French too!

The story was great until he did the same thing his exwife did, went from a 5 to a 3.

so many misspellings...

Part 2 brought a good story down to a so-so story...

Such an amazing story practically ruined by the equivalent of an animal husbandry scene that would fit well in the movie Young Frankenstein. And, hey - throw a few bucks Cheryl's way.

It was ok, but that foursome was a bit much considering how he was in the first chapter. Granted I get ut, he wasn't married anymore but it sure was a 180 from how he was. It was a good story though

At least his wife was involved in the decision and was the deciding vote, it was not unilaterally dropped on her as a fate a comply (sorry for the scrap spelling) .

I honestly wanted to see more of Cheryl's aftermath. The thought of her in Chicoutimi is amusing. The deep Saguenay accents she hears will not make her think of Paris. Nor will the snow.

silly, unrealistic, contradictions in character's development, over the top PC, technical errors galore

This was a very long story. The first half, I was following. It was hard not to feel sorry for the husband, and what wifey put him through.

The second half, was just disgusting. You took the husband, and brought him down to his ex- wife’s level. I rated it two stars, for the effort you put in.

WOW! Quite a story...well, actually one might say it’s really two stories, yet still quite enjoyable and well written. Part I could stand alone is so different from Part II. Part I was a tough read for me though. It is almost identically close to what happened to me once. My wife of 21 years lost her father. She had had a complex love/hate relationship with him. His death affected her profoundly and she had a mid life crisis. She was 42, and suddenly changed dramatically towards me. Prior to this she had been the most loving, caring, sexually hot wife anyone could hope for. I used to say we were having a love affair, not a marriage. It came to a point where she said she had not done the things she wanted to do with her life; she hadn’t achieved the success she craved (although she was really highly successful); she actually said, I want to spread my wings and fly. It was no use trying with her any more. It reached a point where I asked her if she would be happier alone. After giving it a slight, obligatory pause she said yes. I said, OK, I’m out of here. We were in living in London. She was English, and I’m American. I was back in New York when I asked this while on the phone with her. I said, I’ll be back as soon as I could get a flight and pack up and leave. I did just that. Going back to NY, I got a round trip ticket, as it was cheaper than buying a one way. It showed a return date of up to exactly six months from then. She wanted to go to the Airport with me...in fact, she wanted to have lunch with me at a very nice hotel before leaving for the airport. I regret ever having her come with me. I should have just said good bye and left. When were at the gate at Heathrow, there was a scene. She hugged me tightly, kissing me like mad and sobbing. She whispered in my ear...”I’m not going to consider this a trial separation, I’m going to consider it a temporary separation, I’ll see you in six months. She also said to me all rules of conduct are suspended for each of us. In 6 weeks I got the divorce papers. As I said, Part I was a very difficult read for me. However, I found it enlightening as well. And, I enjoyed Part II immensely.

Wow, in part one the story was so enjoyable. But one would know where it was going except you didn’t know who would win, Tara or Greta. But there was no way to know where this part was going. God I love surprise and happy endings!!! Great job!

PJR

Nice "wife finding herself" story with little sex. There was also little pain, so it still got a good score.

The breeding scene was lovely, but made use of erroneous advice. Evolving to bipedal locomotion inclined the vagina toward the back. Mating face-to-face/missionary position means gravity keeps semen in the vagina until it liquifies to free the swimmers. Doggie style means some/lots of it will run out. Basically any woman having unprotected sex greatly reduces her odds of pregnancy if she gets up promptly afterwards.

The average male up to an unspecified age can produce 150 million sperm (the number needed for good odds) in 24 hours. Marvin is over 45 so he might need a bit longer. The 5 times at 12 hour intervals after the first time were wasted time, though I doubt Marvin would agree(snicker).

Now for some science that's more amusing. Pre-eclampsia is a condition in some pregnant women where the immune system causes premature uterine contractions to expel the foreign body. Actual studies suggest that this condition may be prevented by the woman ingesting the donor/father's semen regularly. This exposes the immune system to similar foreign DNA in advance so it won't reject it.

As hard as it was to get Tara to go along with natural insemination; I'm sure she'd be thrilled if Greta had this condition and Marvin needed to go to Greta's 3 times a week to get sucked off. Yes, she would swallow; that's the whole point. LOL!

JohnAmalfi's comment about Cheryl moving to Quebec amused me. Decades ago I met a young member of the Canadian diplomatic service. He told me while the Quebecois say Viva la France; the French look at the Quebecois like the Beverly Hillbillies. He said Paris was a hardship post, meaning fuckups got posted there.

There were two incorrect word choices I had never seen on LitRot before. In one case "she brooched the subject." A brooch is a piece of jewelry; you "broach" a subject, or, a boat washed ashore beam on broaches the shore. Upon hearing of her mother's cheating, Cindi called her all sorts of "fowl" names. Were they names like Robin, Sparrow, or Rhode Island Red? LOL

Part 1 was great. Part 2 was too long.

Ok, that is an awesome story. Wow!

Thankyou! I really enjoyed this storey. I only wish I was a good a man as Marvin. No need to beat anybody up. No evil enjoyment apart from a casual "up yours!" from the car. This is a man truly confident in his masculinity. The great shame is that I have never met his like in real life. Still, if you cannot have a man like this in a storey, where can you have him?

You need to extrapolate @nd continue this story! It has good roots.

I recognize the same core cast of characters, but believe the story line veered off the tracks. Chapter 2 seems like a "jump the shark" effort rather than the smooth flow of a continuous plot. Even the story tags fail to apply to Chapter 2.

I encourage your final editor to rely on more than spell-checker. The following miscues make this reader stop and go, "huh?" You can enter the lines below into an internet search and discover the write weigh (that's a joke, folks) to use these words.

- "lie versus lay"

- "site versus sight"

- "fowl versus foul"

.

Thanks for the effort Mr. Sunshine, I read to the end of both chapters.

Keep 'em comin'.

The thing that bothers me is the pain losing Cheryl was minor. He was terrible losing her all story, then poof he is fine with if. As someone to have it for real after 30 years, the pain is powerful even after 15 years.

I've read this story before and just finished a re-read. I still couldn't stomach reading past the gratuitous weird sex thrown in mid story. However, I did read the epilogue again and again was left feeling a bit deflated. Still, I bet old Cheryl must've felt a bit let down with hanging out with old Frenchmen instead of the delusional happy ending she envisaged with Marv!

This one just got out of hand!!!!!

Well here is my 2 cents on this story, it was well written and the storyline showed that Marv and Cheryl's marriage while ok was not the best in the west. Cheryl's decision to leave and find herself actually was a blessing for Marv as he found Tara a loving and wonderful woman in the end. Cheryl was stupid like so many women who have to find them self or experience other men, in my book that kind of woman needs to be kicked to the curb and as they say good riddance to bad rubbish. The ending where Marv and Tara married and had a baby was a great happily ever after.

Gets my 5 star vote

Part 01,wasnt too bad,but part 02 went downhill faster than a runaway train.

A really good story with strong characters that blended well within the story. The development towards the end gave the story a nice twist and added an extra dimension to the situation. It is a 5* story which could have further developments since the ladies seem to be very compatible and have already had sexual experiences with each other and with Marvin. I have one bone of contention and that is that the term husband indicates a married male so to refer to one of the lesbian couple as husband is incorrect, they should both be referred to as wives.

Best revenge is having moving forward in life and a much improvement in their life