To Have and To Hold Ch. 03

Song for this chapter: Santigold - The Riot's Gone

*****

Three: Is that really what you want?

I wake up the next morning and my mind immediately races through last night's events. Christopher Levenson was standing on my front porch, holding me close, offering me an apology. Should I be outraged by his lack of respect for personal boundaries? Showing up to a stranger's house uninvited is never a good thing. Then again I did show up to his company building uninvited too. So, I guess we are even.

"Knock, knock," I hear Karen say.

"Come in, I'm up!" I respond, but also pull the sheets over my head.

"Well, well, well. If it isn't the total traitor," she pulls the covers from my body.

"To be fair, I did text and call... twice," I tell her.

"Dude, I was knocked out. Jeff has me spent. All the pre-wedding sex is killing me," she throws herself to my bed.

I blush at the thought of my best friend and her fiancé engaging in sexual activity, right next door. "Do you really have to be so specific? A 'Jeff has me spent' would have sufficed," I shake my head.

"Some of us have no inconvenience exploring our sex life without any moral judgment," she turns around and makes a gesture with her hands implying coitus.

"Sex is an act of love and selflessness. Some of us haven't found the one yet," I shrug.

"Whatever! I can't understand how someone as beautiful as you, so smart, so fierce, hasn't been pinned to the wall and taken advantage of... the good way," she laughs at me and winks.

"We've been through this. I'm just not ready. Sometimes I think to myself... If I didn't lose my virginity in college, maybe I never will. Maybe I'm one of those women who are meant to be celibate, dedicating their lives to serving their community with dign-"

"I'M FALLING ASLEEP HERE! You bore me, you really do!" she throws a pillow to my face. I laugh and think to myself how these moments of comedy relief and confidence with my best friend are so crucial to me.

"Anyway, there are some things I haven't told you about. How about some breakfast and some chat before I leave for work?" I see her straightening herself in amusement as I talk.

We head to the kitchen and go for pancakes, scrambled eggs and bacon. Karen can be a lot of things, but her true calling in life is serving the perfect breakfast.

"This is delicious, Karen. No wonder Jeff proposed so quickly!"

"Well, he also gets dessert after breakfast, so I will agree to that. It's delicious," she grins wickedly.

"Karen Marie! Watch your mouth!" I flush. I change the subject and proceed to tell her every detail about yesterday.

After a while, she finally speaks up.

"I don't understand," she says looking at me intently. "Why would a guy who is closing your place of work, who, to your face, called you a waste of his money, who called you an ignorant and smirked at your pain, will then stalk you, come to your house, say he's sorry about everything, but he still can't help you?" I see her counting every fact with her fingers.

"My guess is as good as yours," I sigh in annoyance at the whole thing. We remain silent, but she's narrowing her eyes at me.

"He's gotten to you. You're having an internal struggle about whether you like this guy in spite of all the shitty things he's done to you," she gives me a look of disbelief. "Lexie, please don't be conflicted as to liking him or not, I beg you," she stands up and grabs both of our plates and sets them in the dishwasher.

"I'm not conflicted," I say. "I'm not!" I tell her again after she gave a 'please' expression.

"Funny how you forget how well I know you, Alexandra. Look, I'm not going to dick around with this. You are my best friend, my sister, and I love you. Don't get involved with these people, please. I would hate for you to get hurt," she approaches me and pulls me in for a hug.

I inhale deeply and hug her tightly. "Nothing's going to happen. It was just a one time event. I'm determined to continue on with my life. They can take the center, but not the community. My energy is only invested into finding a way to start over... away from the Levensons."

"And I'm sure you will make it happen, Lexie. You're brilliant and driven but more importantly you have me as your best friend," we both laugh at her statement. Deep in my heart I know she is so right about me being lucky to have her on my side.

We both go our separate ways to get ready for work. One more day and Little Topher will only be part of my memory.

-

I rush into the center, realizing I'm an hour late for work. To be fair we had such a long day yesterday I was exhausted.

"Sorry, everybody. I'm so sorry I'm late," I yell as I see them packing and loading stuff. "I'll join you right away," I run to my office to drop my things and get ready to start another hectic move day.

I open the door, and I'm greeted by the biggest flower arrangement I've ever seen in my entire life. I'm almost immobilized in surprise. As I approach my desk, I begin to admire the flowers. There must be about 50 kinds of different flowers in this vase. Peonies, marigolds, sunflowers, roses of every color, lilies, tulips... as I continue to look and smell through the flowers, my eyes set on a beautiful pair of daisies, my personal favorite.

I pull them out of the vase and admire them closely. "Look at you two," I say to the flowers, taking in their smell. I turn the vase to see what other flowers I could recognize only to find a card on the top of the bouquet.

I grab it and notice it's engraved with Levenson Holdings. My heart stops. I turn the card and there, written by hand, was a short message:

Everything you are, I am not.

My sincere apologies,

Christopher

I couldn't believe my eyes. I read the card over and over and over again just to make sure I wasn't making this up. Christopher Levenson sent me flowers.

I look up at the bouquet and can't help but smile at the realization he sent me all different kinds because he didn't know which I like.

If this were happening under different circumstances I would be swooned. But I quickly remind myself of the context we have going on here. The man who, along with his family, is cruelly taking from me what I love the most is also the man to visit my home late at night and send me flowers early in the morning.

I consider throwing away the flowers but discard the tough because they are so pretty, and this place could really use some color right now. I take the card and slide it in my back pocket, and grabbing the vase I head to the main entrance where I place the flowers on the side table that's attached to the wall.

"Whoa. How about that, huh!" Alfred couldn't be more ironic if he tried. "I put them in your office, by the way. You'd be happy to know I didn't go for the card," he's now examining the flowers up close.

I smile at him and pat his back in an appreciative gesture. "Thanks, Alfred. You of all people know how much I respect privacy."

"So, Levenson Holdings," he says as he walks behind me to the door. My mouth drops.

"What do you mean?" I ask feigning ignorance.

"The flower shop boy said he had a delivery from Levenson Holdings," he explained.

I nod. "I went to the Levenson's yesterday in an attempt to stop the ousting. Chris... Mr. Levenson made it clear that nothing could be done. I'm sorry I went there behind your back," my face feels warm and my palms are sweating.

"Are you kidding me? I would've loved to see you snap at them," Alfred laughs. "So, why the flowers?"

"I don't know. He did call us financially unviable, so there's that."

"Sure sounds like them! Lexie, you are too good to mess with them. Now, I'm not about to tell you what to do, but I will give you my unsolicited advice; be careful." He turned and headed outside.

I walked back to my office, grabbed my planner and went about my day.

It was now late afternoon, and I was going over all the inventory files for the third time, trying to find any missing or inaccurate numbers, when my phone rang. I look at it and see UNKNOWN across the screen. I pick up, hesitantly.

"Hello?" I ask.

"Alexandra Summers?" the voice said sharply.

"Yes, this is she. May I help you?" I go through my mental record of voices, but this one didn't sound like any I would know.

"Alexandra, this is Bradley Levenson from Levenson Holdings, I got a message from one of my assistants that you needed to contact me regarding Little Topher Community Center?"

What the heck.

"Hi, Mr. Levenson. It's so great to hear from you. Yes, I did try contacting you a couple of days ago to ask if you would consider giving me an appointment to discuss the closing of our community center."

"Right, well I apologize for the delay. I only just got your message this morning. Regarding your solicitation for an appointment, I really have to tell you that Little Topher is not under my power to decide for. So, unfortunately I wouldn't be of much help other than maybe giving you an insight as to the reasons I believe my brother has decided to close."

"Excuse me?" I'm trying to understand his argument, "I'm sorry; I don't seem to follow here. Isn't Little Topher your whole family's asset? I don't understand why you wouldn't have a say on it."

"Well, I will go ahead and save us both some time here, Alexandra, by making it clear that Little Topher was recently sold to a single owner, that being my brother Chris. So he is the one closing down the center for his own personal purposes."

"Recently? How recently" I'm incredulous.

I hear him sigh, as if debating whether he should tell me. "It was finalized last week. There's really not much more I can tell you."

"I understand, Mr. Levenson."

"I wish there was more that I could do. Little Topher started as my father's personal project, so it's sad to see it come to an end. But that's business for ya,'' he was silent for a little while, "I really wish all of you the best in your upcoming projects."

"Thank you," that is all I can say right now.

We hang up, and I immediately take Christopher's card out of my pocket, ripping it into pieces, wishing I had never ever gone into that building yesterday.

-

"You're shitting me!" Karen screams over the phone. "That son of a bitch! See, I told you those people can't be trusted. He gives you all this apologetic bullshit and sends you flowers and behind your back he is single-handedly fucking you over! The nerve!" she continues to scream, and I have to move the phone away from my ear.

"Karen, language, please," I say, laughing at her vocal display of disdain towards him. "I shouldn't feel so betrayed. I... I can'texplain it."

"Well, I can! He got to you! He is handsome, rich, powerful, the complete Alpha, what's not to love? Except his smart business is fucking you over, Lexie. Your dreams, your hard work, your friends, your community, YOU."

"Karen, he hasn't gotten to me. I just really thought that maybe if he felt a little remorse over how he acted towards me, maybe he would help make his family reconsider," I pause, "I didn't ask for apologies, I didn't ask for flowers, all I wanted was time."

"Time. Billionaires don't care about giving you time; in fact they thrive on taking it from you," she sounds really upset.

"I don't want to cry anymore, Karen, I don't want to feel like this anymore. We have lost so much in so little time, everyone here has lost so much, I just thought that maybe if I really wished for it, I could somehow make this whole thing work out."

"Lexie, this isn't your fault, this isn't anyone's fault. It's life, you know. The powerful vs. the weak. You need to keep your head high and I promise you I'm going to be here, supporting you."

I thank her for her words, and we hang up.

I tap on the music app and set it to shuffle. One of my favorite songs starts playing, and I'm instantly affected by the first couple of lines... I've been looking for a fight, All the trouble that I know. Could it be any more accurate?

-

Every day of this week has been a rollercoaster of emotions and self-inflicted drama. I sit on the edge of my office desk facing the window, trying to control my emotions and clear my head from all these confusing thoughts. It's almost seven and all I want to do is head home and get some rest.

There's a knock on the door, I had forgotten Alfred wanted to go through some paperwork we needed to fill out before closing day. "Come in, Alfred," I say, trying to pat my eyes dry.

I turn around and I see him. Christopher is standing by the door, with his hands in his pockets, gawking at me. We remained silent just looking at each other. That seemed to be the cadence between us.

"I thought the closing day was tomorrow. So, if you're here to get the paperwork you requested, we don't have it ready yet," I try to keep my tone neutral.

"I don't pick up paperwork, Alexandra. I have people for that."

"You have people for everything," I roll my eyes.

He starts walking towards me, my spine is feeling the tingles of electricity. "Daisies, huh? I didn't peg you for a daisy lover," I see him hold the two flowers I had left on my desk earlier.

"Why are you here?"

"Did you like the flowers?" he asks, ignoring my question.

"Why are you here, Christopher?"

"Did you read the card?"

"Stop this. What do you want?" I'm irritated at this point.

"I'm here because," he pauses and takes a seat, "I would really love to take you out for dinner."

"You have got to be shitting me!" I look at him with contempt.

"I don't appreciate the language, Alexandra. It doesn't suit you," he gestures for me to hold on to my outburst because he isn't finished. "I want to take you out to dinner because I would like to negotiate with you. I might reconsider closing Little Topher if you come to dinner with me."

"What?" I'm laughing now.

"I'm glad you find me amusing," he remarks.

"You're wasting my time, Christopher. And to be honest, we have a lot of work here, so I need you to leave," I walk towards the door to let him out.

In a quick movement, he stands up and holds out his arm to stop me, pulling me towards him, holding me tight. "You need taming, Alexandra. Rough and intimate taming."

"By you?" I mock him.

"Not necessarily, but I would be more than happy to oblige," he pushes me to walk back against the wall. It's not rough, but it is commanding. I can feel my insides burning. My clit screams for more exchange. He bends down a little, so we can be face to face. He lets go of my waist, but puts his arms on my sides, keeping me in place.

"Please leave," I beg him in a small voice.

"Is that really what you want?" he says getting closer to me, our lips almost touching.

"Please."

"Please, what? What, Alexandra?" his forehead touching mine.

"Christopher," my wetness is dripping on my panties.

"Why is it so hard for you to say what you want? It's just you and me here. Just you and me," he lowers his voice and looks down. With his right thumb, he traces my lower lip softly. "I can't stop thinking about you. Yesterday when I saw you standing at the front desk, I knew I wanted you. And then you yelled at me in front of my staff and I wanted you more,'' he pauses looking into my eyes, ''but when you cried... I hated making you cry, Alexandra."

"You're such a hypocrite,'' I say pushing him away. ''You apologize, you send me flowers, you ask me to dinner... but then lie about who is really shutting down this center. I know you are the sole owner of this building. You single-handedly chose to shut us down. And yes it's your money and it's your business, but leave me out of it. I'm done. You need to leave," I motion to the door and as I'm trying to open it, he shuts it close again.

"How do you know that?"

"What does it matter how?" I tell him a little too loud.

"Answer the question, Alexandra! How do you know that?" he warns.

I consider telling him about Bradley calling, but this was getting ridiculous at this point.

"Christopher, look. These have been the most difficult and heartbreaking days of my life and I would tremendously appreciate it if you could let me grieve in peace. Tomorrow afternoon we will hand out the keys to an empty building, so you can do with it as you intend, and that's the end of it, so please... leave."

"Alexandra, I -"

"No," I put a hand up gesturing for him to stop, "it doesn't matter anymore."

He slowly walks up to me and my body tenses. He cups my face softly, and places his other hand on the back of my neck; pulling me closer, so my lips could find him.

Our lips lock together in one swift touch. I was so in shock I didn't respond right away. He kept moving slowly, his right arm wrapping around my lower back taking control. His claim on my lips was ravaging. Giving up, I surrender to his command. I start feeling an ache in my core, needing to be filled with everything he could give me.

His tongue swirled in my mouth. I heard a deep groan coming from him, as he shifted our positions and pinned me to the wall again. He moved from my mouth to nuzzle my neck. I can feel my chest collapsing at a fast pace. His breath is hot and penetrates my skin, making my spine tingle. As he gives me small bites, I tighten my grip on his hair moaning softly against his ear.

My pussy lips are swelling, and I can feel his cock harden against my leg. My whole body is filling up with pleasure, making my knees weak. I can feel my arousal awoken for the first time in my life. I can feel the heat between us. This beautiful, treacherous man had me at the palm of his hand, silently begging for him to take me. My virginal sex was pulsating out of control; I knew that I had to break this. I had to break this now.

"What you do to me," he says, interrupting my thoughts. "Have dinner with me, please."

"I can't, Christopher. We have to stop," but he doesn't stop. In one quick move he locks the door and guides me to my desk, helping me up, so I could sit on it.

But he doesn't kiss me. He just stands there looking down on me, caressing my cheek softly, and tracing my lips with his thumb.

"You really are the most beautiful woman I've ever seen."

"Don't lie to me," I say, looking down at my knotted hands.

"Hey, no. Look at me; I'm not lying to you. Don't you know how beautiful you are? You deserve to be reminded every day, Alexandra."

I refuse to fall for this. I stand up, and he tries to stop me, but I quickly let go of his grip. I turn to face him and he looks confused.

"What's going on? Please, talk to me," he takes a step closer, and I take a step back.

"I'm not... I can't do this. You don't know me," I say embracing myself.

"Then let me know you," his eyes were almost begging for me to come back to him. For a guy who only wanted to fuck me, he sure put on a good show.

There's a knock on the door, and I can hear Tom asking if I was OK.

"I'll be right out, Tom."

"Who is that?" he asks, narrowing his eyes.

"Tom, he's part of the staff here."

"Is he your boyfriend?" he snaps.

"What? No. You should go, Christopher," I turn for the door.

"Stop!" he commands. He comes closer and softly grabs me by the hair, tilting my face upwards. He kissed me so tenderly, almost as if wanting to melt my fears away. "Why do you keep running?"

"Because you will hurt me," I rest my forehead on his chest.

He doesn't say anything; his chest only swells from his deep breathing. His silence is my biggest fear.

"Are you done with your day?" he asks.

"I still need to go through a few documents. The CEO at Levenson Holdings insisted we have them ready by tomorrow."

He chuckles, "high-handed, I assume."

"You have no idea," I say.

"My driver's outside. I'll wait for you to be done, and I'll take you home. Before you protest, Alexandra, that wasn't a question," he kissed me one more time, and went out the door.